Divorce

32But I tell you that anyone who divorces his wife, except for marital unfaithfulness, causes her to become an adulteress, and anyone who marries the divorced woman commits adultery.

Divorce = ἀπολύω apolyō = to dissolve a marriage relationship.

The legal dissolution of a marriage. In the Bible, and in the cultures that produced the Bible, divorce was usually instigated by the husband.

The Certificate of Divorce:

Protected the woman’s rights, providing evidence of her freedom [to marry] and ensuring that her husband could not claim her dowry.

A means to calm down an impulsive husband, since the husband would need to go to a scribe to have such a document written. The scribe could then counsel the husband against the separation (Augustine, Reply to Faustus, XIX.26).

During those days, a man could obtain a divorce for any reason at all, e.g., burned the supper, he found someone better looking. (Like today in many cases.)

Jesus went further and restricted divorce to be allowed only in the case of marital unfaithfulness.

Marital unfaithfulness = πορνεία porneia = to engage in sexual immorality of any kind.

Deuteronomy 24:1–4 (NIV84)

1If a man marries a woman who becomes displeasing to him because he finds something indecent about her, and he writes her a certificate of divorce, gives it to her and sends her from his house,

2and if after she leaves his house she becomes the wife of another man,

3and her second husband dislikes her and writes her a certificate of divorce, gives it to her and sends her from his house, or if he dies,

4then her first husband, who divorced her, is not allowed to marry her again after she has been defiled. That would be detestable in the eyes of the Lord. Do not bring sin upon the land the Lord your God is giving you as an inheritance.

Divorce is never authorized in the OT, though it is permitted (as here). The ideal was for one man to marry one woman for life (see 21:15; Gen 2:24).

This is the only place in the OT that mentions grounds for divorce.

V. 4, By charging his wife with some indecency, the first husband acquired her dowry—her father’s marriage present to her—when he divorced her. If she then remarried, she would have received a second dowry. If her second marriage ended, through either death or divorce, she would have been able to keep her second dowry. The first husband is forbidden to exploit her by remarrying her in order to acquire her second dowry.

The Dowry:

The first husband acquired his wife's dowry from her father (which was given as a marriage present to her) specifically by charging her with some indecency and then divorcing her on those grounds.

The dowry could include land or property; monetary payment; household goods; jewelry; or servants.

The size and value would depend on the socioeconomic status of the bride's family. For poor families, it may have been very modest, while wealthy families could provide extremely large and valuable dowries including many assets.

Generally, the dowry represented the bride's share of the inheritance from her father's household that was meant to support her and her new household after marriage.

Malachi 2:10–12 (NLT)

10Are we not all children of the same Father? Are we not all created by the same God? Then why do we betray each other, violating the covenant of our ancestors?

11Judah has been unfaithful, and a detestable thing has been done in Israel and in Jerusalem. The men of Judah have defiled the Lord’s beloved sanctuary by marrying women who worship idols.

12May the Lord cut off from the nation of Israel every last man who has done this and yet brings an offering to the Lord of Heaven’s Armies.

Deuteronomy 7:1–6 (NIV84)

1When the Lord your God brings you into the land you are entering to possess and drives out before you many nations—the Hittites, Girgashites, Amorites, Canaanites, Perizzites, Hivites and Jebusites, seven nations larger and stronger than you—

2and when the Lord your God has delivered them over to you and you have defeated them, then you must destroy them totally. Make no treaty with them, and show them no mercy.

3Do not intermarry with them. Do not give your daughters to their sons or take their daughters for your sons,

4for they will turn your sons away from following me to serve other gods, and the Lord’s anger will burn against you and will quickly destroy you.

5This is what you are to do to them: Break down their altars, smash their sacred stones, cut down their Asherah poles and burn their idols in the fire.

6For you are a people holy to the Lord your God. The Lord your God has chosen you out of all the peoples on the face of the earth to be his people, his treasured possession.

The principle laid out for the Israelites also applies to the Christian.

An unbelieving spouse can turn you and your children away from following God to serve other gods.

2 Corinthians 6:14–18 (NIV84)

14Do not be yoked together with unbelievers. For what do righteousness and wickedness have in common? Or what fellowship can light have with darkness?

15What harmony is there between Christ and Belial? What does a believer have in common with an unbeliever?

16What agreement is there between the temple of God and idols? For we are the temple of the living God. As God has said: “I will live with them and walk among them, and I will be their God, and they will be my people.”

17“Therefore come out from them and be separate, says the Lord. Touch no unclean thing, and I will receive you.”

18“I will be a Father to you, and you will be my sons and daughters, says the Lord Almighty.”

This is a dire warning that needs to be heeded by all. Especially when contemplating marriage.

One’s infatuation over their spouse to be, while overlooking their spiritual state will blind you to the reality of the heartache you will have to endure as a result of marrying an unbeliever.

It’s not the unpardonable sin, but there are still consequences that come as a result of violating this Scripture.

If that’s you, there are some Scriptural admonitions that we will share shortly.

Malachi 2:13–16 (NLT)

13Here is another thing you do. You cover the Lord’s altar with tears, weeping and groaning because he pays no attention to your offerings and doesn’t accept them with pleasure.

14You cry out, “Why doesn’t the Lord accept my worship?” I’ll tell you why! Because the Lord witnessed the vows you and your wife made when you were young. But you have been unfaithful to her, though she remained your faithful partner, the wife of your marriage vows.

15Didn’t the Lord make you one with your wife? In body and spirit you are his. And what does he want? Godly children from your union. So guard your heart; remain loyal to the wife of your youth.

16“For I hate divorce!” says the Lord, the God of Israel. “To divorce your wife is to overwhelm her with cruelty,” says the Lord of Heaven’s Armies. “So guard your heart; do not be unfaithful to your wife.”

God’s intention in marriage was for godly parents to have godly children. Divorce will not accomplish this.

Genesis 1:24–26 (NIV84)

24And God said, “Let the land produce living creatures according to their kinds: livestock, creatures that move along the ground, and wild animals, each according to its kind.” And it was so.

25God made the wild animals according to their kinds, the livestock according to their kinds, and all the creatures that move along the ground according to their kinds. And God saw that it was good.

26Then God said, “Let us make man in our image, in our likeness, and let them rule over the fish of the sea and the birds of the air, over the livestock, over all the earth, and over all the creatures that move along the ground.”

It is significant that the man and woman are not first defined by their sexuality or gender; they are first defined by the fact that together they are created in the image of God.

Humanity (man), male and female, was formed on the sixth day of creation, according to the first creation account.

Note that God created humanity with hands, not just words. He did not simply speak people into existence as He did with the lights of the universe; God breathed life into man.

Man = אָדָם ʾādām = n. masc. man, mankind, humanity. Refers typically to humanity collectively or of man as a representative human being; without reference to gender, human race comprising both male and female human beings.

Man, human being; humankind, people, often in contrast to animals.

Genesis 1:27 (NIV84)

27So God created man in his own image, in the image of God he created him; male and female he created them.

Man is not just another animal. Only man was created in the image of God; animals were not.

Genesis 2:18–24 (NIV84)

18The Lord God said, “It is not good for the man (ʾādām) to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him.”

19Now the Lord God had formed out of the ground all the beasts of the field and all the birds of the air. He brought them to the man to see what he would name them; and whatever the man called each living creature, that was its name.

20So the man gave names to all the livestock, the birds of the air and all the beasts of the field. But for Adam no suitable helper was found.

21So the Lord God caused the man to fall into a deep sleep; and while he was sleeping, he took one of the man’s ribs and closed up the place with flesh.

22Then the Lord God made a woman from the rib he had taken out of the man, and he brought her to the man.

23The man (ʾādām) said, “This is now bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh; she shall be called ‘woman,’ for she was taken out of man (ʾîšh).”

Woman = אִשָּׁה ʾišhâh (isshaw) = woman, in contrast to man; wife, in contrast to husband.

24For this reason a man (ʾîšh) will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and they will become one flesh.

Genesis 2:21-24 is a more detailed account of what occurred in Genesis 1:27.

God said in Genesis 2:18 that it was not good for the man to be alone.

This is the first time anything is ever said to be not good. The first bad thing ever recorded is that woman wasn’t on the scene yet!

That speaks volumes about how important the woman is in God’s design.

V. 23-24, man = אִישׁ ʾîšh = man, sometimes in contrast to woman, human, sometimes in contrast to animal; by extension: husband, in contrast to wife.

The two words for man are:

`adam: human beings in a general sense

Ish: particular individuals or those belonging to particular groups of men;. i.e., males

Genesis 3:20 (NIV84)

20Adam (hāʾādam, the Adam) named his wife Eve, because she would become the mother of all the living.

It’s interesting to note that Adam (used as a proper name) named his wife Eve after the Fall.

Wife = same word used for woman in Genesis 2:23.

Eve = חַוָּה ḥawwâ = Eve, “life,” “living.”

Matthew 19:3-9 (NIV84)

1When Jesus had finished saying these things, he left Galilee and went into the region of Judea to the other side of the Jordan.

2Large crowds followed him, and he healed them there.

3Some Pharisees came to him to test him. They asked, “Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife for any and every reason?”

4“Haven’t you read,” he replied, “that at the beginning the Creator ‘made them male and female,’

5and said, ‘For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh’?

6So they are no longer two, but one. Therefore what God has joined together, let man not separate.”

7“Why then,” they asked, “did Moses command that a man give his wife a certificate of divorce and send her away?”

8Jesus replied, “Moses permitted you to divorce your wives because your hearts were hard. But it was not this way from the beginning.

9I tell you that anyone who divorces his wife, except for marital unfaithfulness, and marries another woman commits adultery.”

Mark 10:12 (NIV84)

12And if she divorces her husband and marries another man, she commits adultery."

In almost all the previous passages, divorce is initiated only by men, not by women.

The implication is that women lacked the legal rights to divorce husbands.

However, Mark 10:2–12 presents both men and women as capable of divorcing their spouses.

Marital unfaithfulness = sexual immorality (ESV) = πορνεία porneia = to engage in sexual immorality of any kind.

Did it mean only adultery or did it include lesser forms of sexual immorality? I personally take the view that “sexual immorality” is broader than pure adultery. For instance, I believe that addiction to pornography violates this passage and is grounds for divorce.

In any case, Jesus was talking about how the union of two people can be violated and fractured by sexual immorality. If this happens, He said, divorce is allowed. However, it does not mean that divorce must take place.

Luke 16:18 (NIV84)

18“Anyone who divorces his wife and marries another woman commits adultery, and the man who marries a divorced woman commits adultery.

Legal divorce cannot break the marriage bond because (and this is Christ’s point) remarriage after divorce is in fact adultery. It is also adultery for a single man to marry a divorced woman (18b).

Jesus stated that divorce is permissible only in the case of porneia, that is, sexual immorality (Mt 19:9).

Without some legitimate occurrence of porneia, whoever divorces his spouse “causes her to become an adulteress” (Mt 5:32), and whoever marries someone who has been divorced (in those instances) commits adultery as well.

Marriage

1 Corinthians 7:1–6 (NIV84) (To Avoid Immorality)

1Now for the matters you wrote about: It is good for a man not to marry.

2But since there is so much immorality, each man should have his own wife, and each woman her own husband.

3The husband should fulfill his marital duty to his wife, and likewise the wife to her husband.

4The wife’s body does not belong to her alone but also to her husband. In the same way, the husband’s body does not belong to him alone but also to his wife.

5Do not deprive each other except by mutual consent and for a time, so that you may devote yourselves to prayer. Then come together again so that Satan will not tempt you because of your lack of self-control.

6I say this as a concession, not as a command.

According to the Bible, marriage is ordained by God as the lifetime union of a man and a woman (Genesis 2:21–24; Matthew 19:4–6).

Unmarried and Widows

1 Corinthians 7:8–9 (NIV84)

8Now to the unmarried and the widows I say: It is good for them to stay unmarried, as I am.

9But if they cannot control themselves, they should marry, for it is better to marry than to burn with passion.

Believing Spouses

1 Corinthians 7:10–11 (NIV84)

10To the married I give this command (not I, but the Lord): A wife must not separate from her husband.

11But if she does, she must remain unmarried or else be reconciled to her husband. And a husband must not divorce his wife.

Paul was not discussing divorce based on adultery, for which Jesus specifically affirmed provision (Matt. 5:32; 19:8–9). He was talking about divorce for other reasons, even supposedly spiritual ones.

If a Christian does divorce another Christian, except for [sexual immorality], neither partner is free to marry another. They must stay single or rejoin their former mate. In God’s eyes that union has never been broken. These are not a counselor’s suggestions, but the Lord’s commands.

Unbelieving Spouse

1 Corinthians 7:12–16 (NIV84) (Unbelieving Spouse)

12To the rest I say this (I, not the Lord): If any brother has a wife who is not a believer and she is willing to live with him, he must not divorce her.

13And if a woman has a husband who is not a believer and he is willing to live with her, she must not divorce him.

14For the unbelieving husband has been sanctified through his wife, and the unbelieving wife has been sanctified through her believing husband. Otherwise your children would be unclean, but as it is, they are holy.

15But if the unbeliever leaves, let him do so. A believing man or woman is not bound in such circumstances; God has called us to live in peace.

16How do you know, wife, whether you will save your husband? Or, how do you know, husband, whether you will save your wife?

When an unbelieving spouse leaves or deserts their believing spouse, the marriage bond is annulled.

It did not say, “When a believing spouse leaves their unbelieving spouse, the marriage bond is annulled.”

The marriage bond is in tact until the unbelieving spouse either dies or leaves.

What about B.C. (Before Christ)?

1 Corinthians 7 is addressing believers. This message did not apply to those who became believers after they divorced.

1 Corinthians 7 is instructing Christians in the area of marriage, divorce, remarriage, and being married to an unbeliever.

These instruction apply after you became a Christian.

If a Christian divorced his spouse before he was born again, he or she is free to marry a believer of the opposite sex.

If a Christian divorced his spouse and remarried another before he was born again, they must realize that salvation does not free them from the consequences of that decision. The same goes for a single-man who marries a divorced woman and later becomes a Christian.

What were Christians to do who were already married to unbelievers?

Were they free to divorce the one to whom they were unequally yoked and then be free to live singly or marry a believer? No. Once you became a Christian, you were not permitted to divorce your spouse with the exception of sexual immorality.

1 Corinthians 7:17 (NIV84)

17Nevertheless, each one should retain the place in life that the Lord assigned to him and to which God has called him. This is the rule I lay down in all the churches.

Abusive Spouse

What about spousal or child abuse?

Some also claim that abuse (spousal or child) is a valid reason for divorce even though it is not listed as such in the Bible.

While this may very well be the case, it is never wise to presume upon the Word of God.

In cases of abuse, a separation is definitely in order and should occur immediately.

Also, get Law Enforcement involved!

“Til Death Do We Part”

1 Corinthians 7:39 (NIV84)

39A woman is bound to her husband as long as he lives. But if her husband dies, she is free to marry anyone she wishes, but he must belong to the Lord.

Husband and wife are bound to one another as long as both are alive. There is to be no divorce between Christian partners.

If one dies then the other is free to marry a believer.

The bond of marriage is dissolved by death.

It is very simple: we get married; we take our vows. We promise to honor and cherish each other as long as we both shall live. We understand that if one partner in the marriage covenant should die, then all the obligations incumbent upon the one remaining are now set aside, and the widow or widower is completely free in the eyes of God to be married again. The law that binds us and regulates our marriage is in effect only as long as our partner remains alive.

Too many, these are hard sayings, and to some, “They are not of God.”

But to those who want to obey the Lord in all things, let’s close with the following Scriptures.

Psalm 119:34, 36 (NIV84)

34Give me understanding, and I will keep your law and obey it with all my heart.