Speaking Truth in Love

In this fourth chapter of Ephesians, Paul calls the church to unite under Jesus headship. He focuses on growth and maturity as the ways we ought to communicate and build one another up.

"The body of Christ thrives when its members grow together in love, truth, and maturity. But to grow, we must first master how we speak to one another, guided by Christ."

This approach is the same to having courageous conversations with our fellow human beings.

[To cultivate this growth, we must understand the profound impact of our words and actions within our communitys. How can our communication reflect Christ’s love in a way that strengthens? This leads us to our first crucial focus on courageous conversations by "Speaking the Truth in Love."]

Point 1 - Speaking Without Cunning or Craftiness

Scripture Reference: Ephesians 4:14

Ephesians 4:14 ESV

14 so that we may no longer be children, tossed to and fro by the waves and carried about by every wind of doctrine, by human cunning, by craftiness in deceitful schemes.

Ephesians 4:29 ESV

29 Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear.

Message:

It is a sign of immaturity or deception when adults cannot communicate clearly.

Cunning or craftiness in communication leads to a disconnected faith.

If your faith is disingenuous or shallow, you use human efforts to persuade (cunning and craftiness).

Spiritual immaturity makes us vulnerable to misleading teachings and "winds of doctrine."

Immaturity and deception are the foundation of miscommunication and ill intentions.

Operating this way activates our "negativity bias," and we do not believe when engaged.

We need to rely on God’s Word to discern truth.

Humans are not the arbiters of truth, we can discover it, we can participate with it.

Only God creates it, because:

It is determined by His

existence

character

will

Be aware of the majority's claims of truth - that are really only votes on opinions.

No matter the platform, social medias goal is not truth, it is the management and portrayal of different:

views

beliefs

perspectives

ideas

thoughts

impressions

feelings

God's Word is mature and revealing; that's why it touches the hearts of humankind.

Colossians 2:7 ESV

7 rooted and built up in him and established in the faith, just as you were taught, abounding in thanksgiving.

Paul reminds believers to remain deeply rooted in Christ, allowing their faith to provide stability and resilience against false doctrines.

Practical Guidance:

Illustrate how Christians can avoid being "tossed to and fro" by immersing themselves in scripture, prayer, and fellowship.

Rhetorical Question: "Are you spiritually anchored or drifting on the winds of convenience and worldly teaching?"

Illustration:

Share a brief story or testimony of someone led astray by false doctrine but restored through spiritual discernment.

I had a coworker whom I consider to be a friend, tell me with all sincereity that Barrack Obama was the Anti-Christ. A few years before that I had to listen to church members say; the same thing about George Bush.

Call to Action: Urge the audience to invest more time studying the Bible to grow in doctrinal stability.

Scriptures truth will move you away from the cunning and craftiness in the world and center you in the reality that every human being must answer to.

[With a firm foundation in Christ established, we must now consider how this grounding empowers us to discern truth amid the constant noise of worldly philosophies. If being rooted strengthens our faith, what role do spiritual wisdom and understanding play in navigating the complexities of life and doctrine? This next step is critical as we explore how aligning our minds with God’s Word equips us to shine His light in a world filled with competing ideologies and uncertainties.]

Point 2 - Speaking to Mature

Scripture Reference: Ephesians 4:13

Ephesians 4:13 ESV

13 until we all attain to the unity of the faith and of the knowledge of the Son of God, to mature manhood, to the measure of the stature of the fullness of Christ,

Too much of our speech is to dominate and classify our position of authority of the listener.

Instead our approach should be to elevate the listener to achieve the very same things we are trying to achieve. Not because we are better or smarter, but because we understand this is the Lord's way.

He was certainly infinitely smarter and better, yet those who spoke with Him felt included and considered valuable in the conversation.

Message:

This is why the Spirit moves Paul to reveal the goal for Christians to mature and attain "the fullness of Christ."

Christian maturity is more than knowledge—it’s reflected in actions, such as forgiveness, kindness, humility, service, and love.

That is why spiritual maturity leads to unity within the church body.

It can also lead to the same in our communities.

Commentary:

Maturity requires patience and intentional effort.

If you are stuck in your faith, persevere by taking small, consistent steps forward.

Too many people's lives are best described by the path of least resistance.

That's the path of just wanting to have fun, choosing the easy way, picking lazy over complicated, short instead of long, etc.

When these people speak, it is very easy to hear their immaturity.

Practical Guidance:

Suggest actionable ways to grow spiritually—such as

Bible study,

participating in mentorship roles, or

journaling reflections on scripture.

Rhetorical Question: "Are your words and actions helping or hindering the spiritual growth of those around you?"

Illustration:

Refer to the relational and communal aspects of spiritual growth, as highlighted in the additional context. Use an example of how mutual prayer and accountability foster maturity.

Anita's walking group

my relationship with Paul (mentoring)

my relationship with the Church Leadership (being mentored)

Mention the Great resources in BCoC:

Donna Watson, Charleszetta Akins, Emily Wiegand

Levon Akins, Theodore Yancy, Greg Gates

Call to Action: Encourage members to reflect deeply on their faith and to make tangible changes to grow individually and within the broader community.

Biblical References:

1 Thessalonians 5:11 ESV

11 Therefore encourage one another and build one another up, just as you are doing.

This verse emphasizes the importance of mutual edification, underscoring how collective support and encouragement can lead to spiritual growth within a community.

Hebrews 10:24–25 ESV

24 And let us consider how to stir up one another to love and good works, 25 not neglecting to meet together, as is the habit of some, but encouraging one another, and all the more as you see the Day drawing near.

This passage highlights the significance of accountability and regular fellowship in fostering a mature and thriving faith.

[With the profound reminder of the power of fellowship and encouragement fresh in our minds, we are called to reflect on another crucial aspect of our spiritual walk—our connection with God through prayer and meditation. How do we cultivate this intimate relationship amid life's busyness? Let's explore the transformative role of consistent communication with God and its impact on our faith.]

Point 3 - Speaking With Love as Christ

Scripture Reference: Ephesians 4:15-16

Ephesians 4:15–16 ESV

15 Rather, speaking the truth in love, we are to grow up in every way into him who is the head, into Christ, 16 from whom the whole body, joined and held together by every joint with which it is equipped, when each part is working properly, makes the body grow so that it builds itself up in love.

15. speaking the truth—Translate, “holding the truth”; “following the truth”; opposed to “error” or “deceit” (Eph 4:14).

in love—“Truth” is never to be sacrificed to so-called “charity”; yet it is to be maintained in charity. Truth in word and act, love in manner and spirit, are the Christian’s rule (compare Eph 4:21, 24).

grow up—from the state of “children” to that of “full-grown men.” There is growth only in the spiritually alive, not in the dead.

into him—so as to be more and more incorporated with Him, and become one with Him.

Message:

I want to stress the importance of speaking the truth in love. Words should convey truth, uplift, heal, and point others to Christ.

Jesus’ teachings demonstrate how truth can be communicated compassionately and directly.

The church and our communities builds itself in love when every member contributes to the body through unique gifts.

Commentary:

Let's tie this central theme to Christ’s example. His love was always paired with truth. He called out wrongdoing but always offered a path to redemption.

Practical Guidance:

Evaluate your communication. Ask, "Do my words reflect Christ? Am I helping others grow in faith or tearing them down through criticism?"

Rhetorical Question: "Can your daily conversations be described as Christ-centered and rooted in love?"

Are you insulted when someone doesn't:

take your testimony,

or your witnessing,

or your Bible interpreptation techniques,

or they just don't listen to what you have to say (does it make you angry???)

If so, I would like to suggest that your delivery/approach is not speaking in Love as Christ

you see love is

patient

kind

does not envy

does not boast

it is not arrogant

it is not rude

it does not insist on it's own way

it is not irritable

it is not resentful

it does not rejoice in wrong doing

it bears all things

believes all things

hopes all things

endures all things

Love never ends

Illustration:

Church, Love in

There is a story about a man who was walking down the street. He passed a used-book store, and in the window he saw a book with the title How to Hug. He was taken by the title and, being of a somewhat romantic nature, went in to buy the book. To his chagrin, he discovered that it was the seventh volume of an encyclopedia and covered the subjects “How” to “Hug.”

Everyone knows that the church is a place where love ought to be manifested, and many people have come to church hoping to find a demonstration of love—only to discover an encyclopedia on theology.

Call to Action:

Challenge the congregation to commit to speaking words that build and bless this week. Suggest practical steps, such as apologizing for past hurtful words or intentionally encouraging someone.

Bible References:

Proverbs 16:24 ESV

24 Gracious words are like a honeycomb, sweetness to the soul and health to the body.

This verse highlights the power of kind and loving words, emphasizing their ability to heal and encourage others. It reminds us that our speech can positively impact those around us when rooted in grace.

Ephesians 4:29 ESV

29 Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear.

This scripture underscores the importance of speaking with purpose and love, focusing on words that uplift and align with the needs of others. It challenges us to be intentional with our speech, ensuring that our words reflect Christ-like character and care.

[Our words are a powerful reflection of our hearts, shaping our relationships and testimonies as Christ's followers. They carry the potential to build bridges of understanding and compassion or sow discord and hurt. This undeniable influence raises an essential question—how can we ensure that every conversation we engage in becomes an opportunity for grace and truth to shine?]

Closing Call to Action

Summary of Key Points:

Speak without cunning – stay doctrinally grounded in God’s Word.

Speak to mature – support one another’s spiritual growth.

Speak with love – reflect Christ in every conversation.

Commentary:

Remind the audience of their power as part of the body of Christ.

Words can either build up the church or tear it down.

Encourage them to "speak life" into their communities.

Reflection Question for the Congregation:

"How can I use my words this week to grow in maturity, truth, and Christ’s love?"

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