The Blessing Part 2

Offering

​ NIV84Hezekiah asked the priests and Levites about the heaps; and Azariah the chief priest, from the family of Zadok, answered, “Since the people began to bring their contributions to the temple of the Lord, we have had enough to eat and plenty to spare, because the Lord has blessed his people, and this great amount is left over.”

Notice what happens here:The People GiveThe Need Is MetGod Blesses The PeopleThe People Give MoreThere Is An Abundance

Welcome Guests

A Father’s Blessing

FatherHood

There is no role more powerful or influential in this world than being a father. It is a huge responsibility. How our fathers related to us often determines how well we are prepared to father our own children. For some, that means they are well prepared to raise healthy, productive children. For others, it means that ill-prepared for the most important job in the world.In our culture, there is a war against men, and especially against fathers. We are demonized, criticized, ostracized, all while being desperately needed, wanted and searched for.Fathers- we need you. You are probably the most influential force in this world for positive change. Godly men who will affirm, approve and invest in future generations are in short supply but are the highest need of the day.Father’s- you alone have the unique ability to bless future generations. You are uniquely appointed by God as the leader of your family, and have the incredible power to propel your children into their God-given destiny in ways no one else can. Your children desperately need what only you can give, and by that I am referring to what Gary Smalley and John Trent call: The Blessing.Over the next few minutes, I want to describe the blessing to you, tell you how you can give the blessing to your children, and show you from scripture how you can receive the blessing yourself from God- even it you never received it from your family.The Blessing Can:Fight back against a Toxic cultureOpen a child’s heart to the gospelHeal past woundsWithout A Father’s BlessingBrian’s storyHis father was dyingFlew half way across the country to reconcileSat weeping, crying out, “Please say you love me.”All of his life Brian had sought his father’s blessing, but all of his life it seemed just out of his reach.Brian’s father was a career marine office.His father wanted Brian to follow in his footsteps. Instilled discipline.Words of affection or tenderness were forbidden.Enrolled Brian in courses and sports that would best prepare him to become an officer.The day Brian enlisted was the happiest day of his father’s life.After a few weeks of being cited for attitude problems, disrespect and fighting with his instructor, Brian was discharged from the marines as incorrigible, as someone who could not be trained, corrected or reformed.Brian’s dismissal from the Marines was the deathblow to his relationship with his father. He was no longer welcome in his father’s home and for years there was no contact between them.During those years, Brian suffered with feelings of inferiority and lacked self confidence. Though quite intelligent, he worked at jobs far below his abilities. Brian got engaged three times only to break the engagements just weeks before the weddings. He could not believe a person could really love him.Through a godly mentor, Brian came to understand his need for his family’s blessing and his responsibility to deal honestly with his parents. That is when the call came from his mom.His father was dying. Brian hoped to talk things out with his father. His father slipped into a coma hours before he arrived.Brian wept as he sat beside his father’s bed, crying “Dad, please wake up.” His heartbreaking sobs echoed down the hospital corridors. Brian longed to hear his father’s voice, to have his father’s approval, to receive his father’s love. But it was not to be. His father slipped from this life without ever regaining consciousness. Nancy’s storyDaughter of an affluent family.Her mother was socialite and intended for her daughters to be also. When she was young, her mother would dress her in fancy clothes and take her and her sister to the club.But unlike her mother and sister, Nancy was big boned and sturdy for a girl. She was a tomboy that loved outdoor games, swinging on fences and animals of all kinds.Gradually her mom began to leave her at home and only take her sister to the clubs and social events, because she was not skinny enough or beautiful enough. Her mom insisted she go on a strict diet to get her skinny enough for the cute clothes, but she struggled to stick to it.In the end her mother started leaving her at home because she said, “you don’t want to be embarrassed in front of the other children because of how you look.”Nancy went for counseling at the age of 30. She struggled with feeling overweight and inferior. Her husband loved her dearly, but she could not receive his love because she felt unlovable.Nancy had two daughers. One was petite and beautiful. The other was larger and big boned. Her mother began to pamper the petite daughter while ignoring the larger. This tore open old wounds from her childhood.Gradually Nancy began to grow impatient and resentful towards her younger daughter.She was angry at her mother and angry at God for not making her petite and beautiful. She eventually stopped going to Church, Bible study or calling her Christian friends.Nancy’s relationship with her husband, her children and God were all being affected by not receiving the blessing.Have you ever felt like Brian or Nancy? Have you ever felt like you wanted or needed the approval or acceptance of your parents but were not able to receive it?For Brian not receiving his father’s blessing prevented him from getting close to people and committing to relationships.For Nancy, it destroyed her most important relationships and prevented from receiving love from those closest to her or giving it to her daughter. More than that, it prevented her from feeling that her Heavenly Father truly loved and accepted her.Not receiving the blessing:Drives some to workaholismOthers get mired in withdrawal and apathy and give up hope of ever truly being blessedLeaves them searching for the approval and blessing and acceptance they never received.This search for the blessing is not new. It as old as humanity. It is seen clearly in one particular Old Testament Story- the story of Jacob and Esau. Let’s read it together this morning.

​ NIV84When Isaac was old and his eyes were so weak that he could no longer see, he called for Esau his older son and said to him, “My son.” “Here I am,” he answered. Isaac said, “I am now an old man and don’t know the day of my death. Now then, get your weapons—your quiver and bow—and go out to the open country to hunt some wild game for me. Prepare me the kind of tasty food I like and bring it to me to eat, so that I may give you my blessing before I die.”

The story goes on to tell us that Rebekah hears Isaac’s words and devises a plan for Jacob to receive the blessing instead of Esau. She quickly cooks a goat, covers Jacob with the skin and sends him into his father’s tent to feed him the food and receive his blessing before his brother Esau returns. Let’s resume reading with vs. 18.

​ NIV84He went to his father and said, “My father.” “Yes, my son,” he answered. “Who is it?” Jacob said to his father, “I am Esau your firstborn. I have done as you told me. Please sit up and eat some of my game so that you may give me your blessing.” Isaac asked his son, “How did you find it so quickly, my son?” “The Lord your God gave me success,” he replied. Then Isaac said to Jacob, “Come near so I can touch you, my son, to know whether you really are my son Esau or not.” Jacob went close to his father Isaac, who touched him and said, “The voice is the voice of Jacob, but the hands are the hands of Esau.” He did not recognize him, for his hands were hairy like those of his brother Esau; so he blessed him. “Are you really my son Esau?” he asked. “I am,” he replied. Then he said, “My son, bring me some of your game to eat, so that I may give you my blessing.” Jacob brought it to him and he ate; and he brought some wine and he drank. Then his father Isaac said to him, “Come here, my son, and kiss me.” So he went to him and kissed him. When Isaac caught the smell of his clothes, he blessed him and said, “Ah, the smell of my son is like the smell of a field that the Lord has blessed. May God give you of heaven’s dew and of earth’s richness— an abundance of grain and new wine. May nations serve you and peoples bow down to you. Be lord over your brothers, and may the sons of your mother bow down to you. May those who curse you be cursed and those who bless you be blessed.” After Isaac finished blessing him and Jacob had scarcely left his father’s presence, his brother Esau came in from hunting. He too prepared some tasty food and brought it to his father. Then he said to him, “My father, sit up and eat some of my game, so that you may give me your blessing.” His father Isaac asked him, “Who are you?” “I am your son,” he answered, “your firstborn, Esau.” Isaac trembled violently and said, “Who was it, then, that hunted game and brought it to me? I ate it just before you came and I blessed him—and indeed he will be blessed!” When Esau heard his father’s words, he burst out with a loud and bitter cry and said to his father, “Bless me—me too, my father!” But he said, “Your brother came deceitfully and took your blessing.” Esau said, “Isn’t he rightly named Jacob? He has deceived me these two times: He took my birthright, and now he’s taken my blessing!” Then he asked, “Haven’t you reserved any blessing for me?” Isaac answered Esau, “I have made him lord over you and have made all his relatives his servants, and I have sustained him with grain and new wine. So what can I possibly do for you, my son?” Esau said to his father, “Do you have only one blessing, my father? Bless me too, my father!” Then Esau wept aloud.

In Biblical times, a blessing like this was a special occasion. At a specific time in their life, a son or daughter could expect to hear words of encouragement, love and acceptance from their father- words that gave them a tremendous sense of being highly valued and that pictured a special future for them.There are several key elements of this ancient blessing tradition that are applicable today and that all of us desperately need and desire. In fact, it is possible for godly parents to meet the deepest needs of our children by building these elements into our children’s daily lives to ensure they receive the blessing they need for a good future.Jacob should not have had to trick his father into blessing him, but in his humanity Isaac favored Esau, while their mother favored Jacob.In ancient times, the eldest son had the honor of receiving a double portion of the father’s inheritance- meaning he got twice as much as anyone else.Esau had previously dishonored both God and his father by trading his birth right for a bowl of red stew. This showed that he was a carnal, worldly man that cared neither to honor God nor his parents by his lifestyle. He traded his right to inherit the patriarchal lineage for the pleasure of a single meal. But while Esau gave up the worldly inheritance, he likely comforted himself that he would one day receive his father’s blessing- something worth more than all of the animals and money his father would give to his sons.But as Esau was out in the field working to kill some wild game to prepare for his father, his brother Jacob snuck in and stole his blessing.And now Esau begins to weep- pleading with his father to bless him. Filled with hurt, Esau cries out again, “Do you have only blessing, my father? Bless me, even also, O my father.” So Esau lifted up his voice and wept.”Isaac does in fact give Esau somewhat of a blessing, but it is not the words of high value and acceptance that Esau longed to hear. Can you hear the anguish in those words, “Bless me O father.”Every child needs:Personal attentionAffectionAffirmationThis is what the blessing provides. When children receive these things at home, they are much better prepared to have a healthy, productive life and relationship with God. When these things are lacking, they will seek them elsewhere.In marriage, couples were intended by God to leave and cleave to their spouse. This speaks not as much of a physical space as emotional space. Husbands and wives were intended to get their affirmation and affection from their spouse. However, if someone never received the blessing in their life, they will have a difficult time letting go of their relationship to their parents and of connecting in healthy way to their spouse to find what they need.Understanding the concept of the blessing is critical to being able to form healthy relationships.God’s Word offers hope. If we did not receive the blessing we needed from our parents, it is available to all through Christ.The Word bless has several key meanings we need to understand in order to fully receive and give the blessing:To bow before: by bowing before someone, we are ascribing value to them. When you bless someone, you are treating them as someone worthy to be bowed before, someone of great worth and value.Adding weight or value: a coins value in ancient times was measured according to how much it weighted. To bless someone carried the idea of adding weight to them, thereby increasing their value or worth.So by blessing someone, we are in effect saying “You are of such great value to me, I choose to add to your life.”Oppositely, the word curse means to stop up or to dam up a flow of water- until it ceases or is only a muddy trickle. For ancient Israelites, living in a desert culture, to stop the flow of water, the source of life, was to ensure death. So when we curse someone we are choosing to dam the stream of life giving actions and words that could flow down to that person.When Jesus speaks of living water, he is speaking of fresh, flowing water that gives life.Each of us have a choice- to give blessings or curses. To speak life or death. To act in a way that affirms the value and potential of those around us, or to act in ways that communicates that we do not value them or their potential.There are Five Elements to The BlessingMeaningful and appropriate touchA spoken messageAttaching high value to the one being blessedPicturing a special future for him or herAn active commitment to fulfill the blessing

Meaningful Touch

​ NIV84Then his father Isaac said to him, “Come here, my son, and kiss me.”

“Come near now and kiss me, my son.” This was a pattern in scripture. Anytime a blessing was spoken, it was accompanied with kissing, hugging or the laying on of hands.Meaningful touch communicates:WarmthPersonal acceptanceAffirmationPhysical healthStudies have shown that mothers touch their children in nurturing ways but fathers in playful ways. Yet when interviewed, the children felt their father’s touch was more nurturing because it happened so rarely and was much more meaningful.Go Hug A Tree Story In scripture, touching was a way of transferring power or blessing from one person to another.Healthy, Meaningful Physical touch has been shown to:Increase hemoglobin, increasing oxygen flow that keeps tissues healthierDecrease blood pressureDecrease the odds of immoralityAdd up to 2 years to a person’s lifeIn one study, babies that received daily massages gained up to 47% more weight than babies who did not receive massages.Young children who were deprived of parental touching had half the bone growth of children who had received adequate physical attention.Ross Campbell writes that in my reading and experience, “I have never known one sexually disoriented person who had a warm, loving and affectionate father.”Father’s your touch is powerful and there is no substitute for it. The second element of The Blesing is a...

Spoken Message

​ NIV84Then his father Isaac said to him, “Come here, my son, and kiss me.” So he went to him and kissed him. When Isaac caught the smell of his clothes, he blessed him and said, “Ah, the smell of my son is like the smell of a field that the Lord has blessed.

A blessing must be verbalized. Our children need to hear us say that we love and value them- regardless of our family culture.For a child searching for the blessing, silence communicates mostly confusion.Spoken or written words communicate to a child they are worthy of attention.A high school football player missed a block one day and his coach got 6 inches from his face, grabbed his face mask and began to yell at the player and then sent him to the sidelines. When he got there, the player grumbled to another player, “I wish he would get off my case.”The second player replied, “Don’t say that. At least he’s talking to you. If he ever stops talking to you, that means he’s given up on you.”Our children will often interpret our silences as rejection, abandonment. They need to hear from us.Some parents feel like because they do not yell or say negative things to their children they are doing good. That is great, but it is not enough. Our children need to hear us verbalize the blessing over their lives. They need us to speak words of hope, encouragement, affirmation.Without words of blessing children end up traveling one of two routes:The road of overachievement, always trying to earn other people’s approval. Hearing the approval of others becomes a chronic need.The road of withdrawal: when people become convinced they cannot succeed, they give up and travel down a road of apathy, depression and withdrawal.

​ ESVDeath and life are in the power of the tongue, and those who love it will eat its fruits.

Most people fail to speak encouraging words to their children because no one ever did for them.Let us give our children what they need, especially if we did not receive it, so that they can pass it on.

Attaching High Value

Meaningful touch and the spoken message are like the picnic basket- but attaching high value is the meal inside.

​ NIV84May nations serve you and peoples bow down to you. Be lord over your brothers, and may the sons of your mother bow down to you. May those who curse you be cursed and those who bless you be blessed.”

Isaac’s words attached high value to Jacob. Not just anyone will be bowed down to by nations- only someone special, honored and valuable.A blessed field is one where these tremendous growth and life and reward.Sometimes children cannot hear I love you. If praise is limited to time of achievement, children may come to the conclusion they are only valuable when they accomplish something great.We need to find a better way to help our children understand their high value. Jacob used a word picture.When using a word picture, consider the following keys:Use an everyday objectMatch the emotional meaning of the train you are praising with the object you have pickedUse word pictures that unravel defensesUse word pictures to point out a person’s potentialJenny found herself divorced with two children and no job to provide for their basic financial needs. Six years later, she was back on her feet, with a quality job that allowed her to spend time with her kids. When asked how she made it, she pointed to God, but she also commented on her dad’s encouragement. Everytime she wanted to quit school or give up, her dad would say, “You’ll make it Jenny. You’re my rock of Gibraltar.” Knowing her dad believed in her when her whole world was caving in gave her the strength and hope to persevere.

Picturing A Special Future

​ NIV84So he went to him and kissed him. When Isaac caught the smell of his clothes, he blessed him and said, “Ah, the smell of my son is like the smell of a field that the Lord has blessed. May God give you of heaven’s dew and of earth’s richness— an abundance of grain and new wine. May nations serve you and peoples bow down to you. Be lord over your brothers, and may the sons of your mother bow down to you. May those who curse you be cursed and those who bless you be blessed.”

Isaac created a word picture for Jacob. Word pictures are powerful. They help the message stick in the mind of the hearer. They illustrate the blessing in a way that makes it easier for people to hold onto.One father spoke of his son, “This is my son the idiot. He is too stupid to ever do anything right. He is gonna end up homeless living in a van down by the river.” Can you imagine the impact of those words on the son’s perception of himself and his worth:1. I am stupid.2. I will never succeed.3. My future is doomed.4. I know because dad said so.Isaac blessed Jacob by describing a special future, a positive future. This is a critical element of the blessing. Giving our children hope by letting them know that we expect a positive future for them.A young man named Mark was told by his mother, “No one is ever going to love a fat mess like you.”She was only joking, but the words cut Mark deeply. She failed to understand that every child has a need to have a special future. Telling a child that their future is doomed because they are fat, stupid, dumb or lazy- even jokingly- erodes their self confidence and crushes their hope.Listen to what Isaac says about Jacob’s future:

​ NIV84May God give you of heaven’s dew and of earth’s richness— an abundance of grain and new wine. May nations serve you and peoples bow down to you. Be lord over your brothers, and may the sons of your mother bow down to you. May those who curse you be cursed and those who bless you be blessed.”

Laws of physics say that water cannot rise above it source. In a similar way, children will find it difficult to rise above the words spoke over them. What are you saying about your children.If we want to help our children grow and reach their potential, we need to speak words of encouragement and life over them and their future.Angela’s Father: After we got engaged and were preparing to get married, Angela’s dad told her, “I am a turkey. You are an eagle. You were born to fly high. You need to marry an eagle you can fly with. Chad is an eagle.”

An Active Commitment

Words alone cannot communicate the blessing; they need to be backed up with a willingness to do everything possible to help our children succeed.We can tell our child, “You can be a great pianist.” But if we never get them a piano or piano lessons, they are probably not going to get very far.God himself spoke to the patriarchs over and over again affirming his active commitment to bless them, help them, multiply them and make into a great nation. When Isaac blesses Jacob, he is repeating the message God himself had given to Abraham and to Isaac. I want to commend the Royal Rangers and Mpact Girls programs in our Church. Both of these programs are an ongoing effort to provide an active commitment to the next generation. And the men and women in our Church that are involved with these programs live out this fifth element of the blessings by providing opportunities for the kids in these programs to be mentored, to learn, to earn victories. I am especially grateful to John and Merranda Jobe and Sharon Culpepper for this incredible commitment to lead these programs.

Receiving the Blessing From God

No matter what home we grew up in, there were issues and problems. We all need the blessing and likely did not fully receive it. But for some who grew up in troubled families, or without families- the impact of not receiving The Blessing can be especially traumatic.But I have good news for your today… God can provide what our families did not or could not provide. Ultimately, God is able to give all of us whatever our families failed to provide.Our Heavenly Father spoke the words every child longs to here more than anything over Jesus at His Baptism. Let’s read it.

​ NIV84And a voice from heaven said, “This is my Son, whom I love; with him I am well pleased.”

Jesus was told what every son or daughter longs to hear: This is my son, whom I love. With him I am well pleased.If you never heard those words from your father or mother, good news. You can hear them today from God.If anyone has believed in Jesus, He is now clothed in Christ. So when God sees you, He sees Jesus. This means when God sees you, He is delighted and well pleased with you. He loves you dearly.

​ NIV84Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; the old has gone, the new has come!

​ NIV84Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus,

​ NIV84You are all sons of God through faith in Christ Jesus,

In Christ, we are all Blessed. In Christ, we can hear our heavenly Father speak over us: This is my son with whom I am well pleased.Fathers- you are the key to your children receiving The Blessing. They need you. You are irreplaceable. You words and influence is powerful. God is ready and willing to help us and show us how to bless our children. He is ultimate good father, and he is ready to work in us to change us from the inside.Let me close with a few thoughts:Only one Father will provide The Blessing perfectly- God alone. Bless anyway.It is never too late to start doing the right thing.Something is better than nothing.Practice makes perfect.Fathers, we need you more than ever before. You are the Priest Of Your Home, the Patriarch of Your family, the greatest potential source of blessing for your children in this world. Bless them today with:Meaningful and appropriate touchA spoken messageHigh valuePicturing a special futureAn active commitment to fulfill the blessing