Sermon Tone Analysis
Overall tone of the sermon
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Anger
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Anger
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Welcome/ Prayer/ Intro
Write a Story about the Farmer and the Herdsmen
Conflict is an interesting aspect to the human condition, in fact one of the first stories that we get in the Bible that comes after the fall is a major conflict between two brothers.
Cain was frustrated with his brothers offering, so he killed him.
There are many things that lead to conflict, we need to get to the bottom line today to figure out why people quarrel so much, and what is the answer to a heart that is in constant conflict.
Pr
This is the main text for today, that hatred, a heart that is filled with disdain or even just disappointed, is going to be filled with conflict because it will always be at war with those who are near.
Hatred that leads to conflict is kind of like the poison that you drink expecting it to kill someone else.
What is really going on is deep inside you and today we need to figure out how God wants us to deal with conflict, and what the root cause is.
But first we need to make some observations about what causes conflict, we need to diagnose the symptoms to see what needs to be dealt with underneath.
Gossip Causes Conflict
Being hasty to bring someone into court
Jumping to conclusions
Settle your conflict with people, one one one when we do this we protect the name and reputation of others, which in turn protects our name.
Recap of last week
The power of life and death are in the tongue, what you do with it is extremely important
Gossip leads to slander which leads to death.
But the tongue can also lead to life because speaking the truth in love leads to encouragement which leads to life.
Solomon warns us here not to be quick in trying to bring others into our conflict, whether that is a court or by gossiping to others.
But Jesus gives us the pathway that we should use if we really do have legitimate conflict with others
Bringing others in only complicates matters, but what should you do if you cant get through to someone?
mt 18
So the goal in conflict should be to handle it quickly and quietly, if you love your brother or sister, wouldn’t you want them to be restored in this manner?
I mean we all have our stuff so no one should be shocked to hear that someone is a sinner, but it helps keep shame out of the equation so that the other person can be built up and move on toward obedience.
Bringing others in only complicates matters, but what should you do if you cant get through to someone?
I love that he doesn't even bring up going to court, the church is a family, family handles their business without the secular judicial system.
This is not a hard and fast rule, but in general, if we are committed to Christ and being ministers of reconciliation, then we should have a much lower need for Caesars intervention.
This proverb says don’t be hasty to jump to conclusions and therefore gossip about what you don’t know.
Be kind, for everyone is fighting a battle you know nothing about.
Always remember you probably don’t know the full story.
So lets put away our gossip which causes conflict.
Gossip really does hurt because it separates people, and separation doesn't seem like God’s design for humanity
A Hot Temper Causes Conflict
Someone with a hot temper is able to fly off the handle at any moment.
People have to walk on eggshells in order to not offend someone with a hot temper
This is exhausting to have a relationship with someone like this, because you are always on guard scared to encounter someones anger which is like a ticking time bomb or a loaded gun.
But as the text says, someone who is slow to anger quiets contention which means that they cool down a heated argument.
Someone who is slow to anger means that they have been intentional about how they are going to deal with their anger
There is a way to grow slower to anger, and the path does not start by trying to become less angry.
Anger really does hurt because it separates people, and separation doesn't seem like God’s design for humanity
Dishonesty Causes Conflict
pr
Fill out dishonesty but keep it short
Like we said last week, not acquaintances but close friends
This is because we are so quick to believe the dishonest slander of others.
Dishonesty really does hurt because it separates people, and separation doesn't seem like God’s design for humanity
Foolishness causes Conflict
It is an honor to keep a distance from strife, but in the end even the wise can have conflict, it just so happens to be with a foolish person
So the fool kind of sounds like a crazy person
You get into a conflict with someone and they start raging and laughing, well there should be no quiet in your soul because you are standing in the presence of someone who has lost it!
So even the wise get into conflict, but the fool will prove themselves worthy of that name by their actions.
Foolishness really does hurt because it separates people, and separation doesn't seem like God’s design for humanity
Bottling Emotion Causes Conflict
Conflict is like a dam about to rupture
This is awesome imagery from the proverbs
Has anyone ever felt like you have been holding in so much emotion that it was ready to overflow onto anyone?
Great Molasses Flood of 1919
January 15th 1919 beautiful day
Boston had a large population of immigrants it was so congested that it was likened to Calcutta India.
Massive Steel tank 5 stories tall with 2.3 million gallons of molasses
This molasses was used for the distillation of Alcohol
The giant tank leaked molasses so frequently that kids would go and scoop up the sugary goodness
They painted the tank brown so people wouldn’t notice the leaks of molasses
When the tank busted a 35 foot high tidal wave of molasses crashed through the town 21 people killed 150 injured 100 million dollars of destruction in today’s money
Show slide of Boston Flood
The red flag was the leaks that were happening, but when you do not pay attention to red flags, destruction is close at hand.
Are there red flags in your life, leaks of un-dealt with anger or sadness that you need to deal with before they erupt?
How can you deal with them before the levee breaks?
We will talk about that in a minute.
Erupting Emotion really does hurt because it separates people, and separation doesn't seem like God’s design for humanity
The final observation is this People need to MIND THEIR OWN BUSINESS!!
CAN I GET AN AMEN?!
JUST KIDDING
Meddling Causes Conflict
I have a dog named Steve, he would do nothing, but this is talking about a stray dog.
We should be people who mind our own affairs
Paul Tells the Thessalonians to aspire to live a quiet life, and mind their own affairs.
Draw a circle around your own feet
Meddling really does hurt because it separates people, and separation doesn't seem like God’s design for humanity
But what causes
Meddling which causes conflict
Bottling Emotion which causes conflict
Foolishness which causes conflict
Dishonesty which causes conflict
Hot Temper which causes conflict
Gossip which causes conflict
WHAT CAUSES US TO BE SO CONTENTIOUS WITH OTHERS?!
Work needs to be done here to transition
I think the problem is that we think far to much about ourselves...
PROVERBS 29:9
We have the wrong goal in mind, our goal is what is good for us.
But is that Gods goal for us?
If a wise man has an argument with a fool,
Tery and I went to the weekend to remember and they talked about how the cause of conflict in marriage is having the wrong goal.
If you argue with your spouse and you win the fight and you are totally right, do you actually win?
Did you seek the good of your spouse or did you seek your own good?
No because the goal for marriage isn't always what you want, it is always ONENESS
the fool only rages and laughs, and there is no quiet.
The same is true for the church
Do we have the selfless investment mindset, that even when it is difficult we will still invest because we know that there will be great fruit if we push through the tough stuff.
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