Biblical Parenting Part 2B
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As Parents, We are accountable to God
As Parents, We are accountable to God
As we were rounding up last week Sunday, I read a statement from June Hunt, The author of the book “steps to successful parenting. This is what she said
“Kids are much like kites—struggling to become airborne, yet needing the stability of the string. A kite is not designed to be possessively protected inside the home. Though separation is painful, God designed your role as a parent to prepare ‘your kite’ for flight.”
I want you to write this statement down “ God design my role as a parent to prepare my children for flight.”
I also showed us a parallel from the book of psalms
3 Lo, children are an heritage of the Lord: And the fruit of the womb is his reward. 4 As arrows are in the hand of a mighty man; So are children of the youth. 5 Happy is the man that hath his quiver full of them: They shall not be ashamed, But they shall speak with the enemies in the gate.
There are certain things that we can see from this scripture and what June hunt said:
Parent are the kite holder, they are meant to release the string that helps the kite to airborne.
Parents are the TRAINERS, they are meant to PREPARE the kite to airborne: Meaning, They are meant to be TRAINERS for their children to PREPARE them for LIVING a successful life in a chaotic world.
The kite, is made for flight - and flight is not going to happen inside the house, it will happen when the kite is exposed to the wind… the wind is dangerous, but it is what the kite need to fly high…
In the psalms: parents are the mighty warriors, in whose hands the arrow becomes a mighty instrument of war and of victory.
The arrow is not designed for fun, it is PREPARED for war and victories
This will not happen in the house - victories happened at the battle ground.
the battle ground is a dangerous place, but that is what an arrow needs to shine...
Please pay attention:
Please pay attention:
A child that is not well prepared for flight, will crash in the wind.
just like an arrow that is not prepared for war, will loose its place in the battle of life.
Just like an arrow that is not well prepared for war, will loose its place in the battle of life.
These are few introductory statements to prepare your heart for that which the Lord has prepared for you in this meeting today.
Today:
Today:
We are going to ask and answer these questions:
Who is a parent and what does parenting entails?
How accountable are we as parents?
The role of Godly father and Godly mother in biblical parenting
We will also explore the difference between raring and raising a child
h
If God permits, we will finish today, but if not, then we will move the rest to another week.
Text: Proverb 1:7-9
Text: Proverb 1:7-9
7 The fear of the Lord is the beginning of knowledge: But fools despise wisdom and instruction. 8 My son, hear the instruction of thy father, And forsake not the law of thy mother: 9 For they shall be an ornament of grace unto thy head, And chains about thy neck.
I. Who is a PARENT and what does PARENTING entails?
I. Who is a PARENT and what does PARENTING entails?
A parent is a man or woman who has biological or spiritual children: Biological children are children from your wife; spiritual children are children born to you through redemption - people who look up to you as mentor or as an example of faith; or people that the lord brings into christianity through your work of evangelization.
One author says: “A parent is a father or mother, with the responsibilities as provider, protector, and defender of a child”
The Hebrew word for parent has the same root with the word for teacher - invariably, a parent is a teacher. The bible speaks extensively about the mother and father as lawgivers and instructors…
1 Hear, O sons, a father’s instruction, and be attentive, that you may gain insight,
Prov 4:
1 A wise son hears his father’s instruction, but a scoffer does not listen to rebuke.
Prov
4. Therefore, Parenting must by implication entails a lifelong work of instruction, equipping, preparing, cultivating and building up a child.
June Hunt said: “ A parent is the most important teacher a child will ever have… because parent remains one of the few constants in a child’s life”
4. Parenting involves physically raising children to become emotionally, psychologically, financially, relationally and spiritually mature and prepared for a life of independence and ready for adult life.
5. Parenting also involves becoming purposeful: determining in your heart what you want to accomplish within the limited time that God has given you to work on the destinies he has appointed to you to nurture to maturity.
Daniel Switzer puts it this way in his book: train up a child:
The night my son Caleb was born, I went home and fell on my knees to pray. My prayer expressed my desire to be an example of God’s love to my son in order to train him in the way he should go. I committed myself to being a faithful steward of the time God gives me with him on this earth. I was filled with purpose.
Parenting is a purposeful venture, you can not gamble.
… This series is called biblical parenting for the purpose that, God has given us the scripture as a proven guidebook for purposeful parenting; so, none of us as parenting is permitted under God to randomize our approach in the process of developing our children - we have all the tools that we need in the scripture, all we need to do it to turn to it.
How can we put this first point together?
How can we put this first point together?
Parents are meant to be TRAINERS to PREPARE the children for life and godliness; so as to live a successful life in a chaotic world.
Parenting involves a lifetime of purposeful instruction, equipping, preparing, cultivating and building up a child.
II. How ACCOUNTABLE are we as parents?
II. How ACCOUNTABLE are we as parents?
I will approach this under two sub headings:
To whom are we accountable as parents and
For what are we to give account
6 And these words, which I command thee this day, shall be in thine heart: 7 And thou shalt teach them diligently unto thy children, and shalt talk of them when thou sittest in thine house, and when thou walkest by the way, and when thou liest down, and when thou risest up.
Deut
I will read this same passage again, but from a different translation: AMPLIFIED.
6 And these words which I am commanding you this day shall be [first] in your [own] minds and hearts; [then] 7 You shall whet and sharpen them so as to make them penetrate, and teach and impress them diligently upon the [minds and] hearts of your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house and when you walk by the way, and when you lie down and when you rise up.
As parents we are solely accountable to GOD -Why? The bible makes it clear that Children are a gift from God we are just custodians, we are temporary caregivers on behalf of God: God is the one who gives children to us, so we owe him the explanation of what we do with the lives of those committed to us… in a literary sense, we are unconsciously or consciously writing daily, weekly, monthly, and yearly report of what we are adding or deducting from the lives of the children that he [GOD] has assigned to our CARE-HOME. And without any doubt, we will answer to him.
3 Lo, children are an heritage of the Lord: And the fruit of the womb is his reward. 4 As arrows are in the hand of a mighty man; So are children of the youth.
13 And he will love thee, and bless thee, and multiply thee: he will also bless the fruit of thy womb, and the fruit of thy land, thy corn, and thy wine, and thine oil, the increase of thy kine, and the flocks of thy sheep, in the land which he sware unto thy fathers to give thee.
13 He will love you and bless you, and he will give you many children. He will give fertility to your land and your animals. When you arrive in the land he swore to give your ancestors, you will have large harvests of grain, new wine, and olive oil, and great herds of cattle, sheep, and goats.
21 And Isaac intreated the Lord for his wife, because she was barren: and the Lord was intreated of him, and Rebekah his wife conceived.
Gen
— God is the giver of Children, and unto him we are all held accountable.
I want you to also remember that in Part 1, I showed us from the scripture the order of headship in the home as documented in 1 cor 11:1-3
verse 3 says:
3 But I would have you know, that the head of every man is Christ; and the head of the woman is the man; and the head of Christ is God.
1 Cor 11:1-
The order of HEADSHIP is Clear:
Christ is answerable to God, the man is answerable to Christ and the Woman is answerable to the Man.
Meaning that the most superior officer in a godly home is GOD, he is the commissioner who commissioned us into our role, so, he is the one who will hold us accountable, not the society.
NOW, For What are we ACCOUNTABLE or for what are we to GIVE ACCOUNT?
NOW, For What are we ACCOUNTABLE or for what are we to GIVE ACCOUNT?
6 And these words, which I command thee this day, shall be in thine heart: 7 And thou shalt teach them diligently unto thy children, and shalt talk of them when thou sittest in thine house, and when thou walkest by the way, and when thou liest down, and when thou risest up.
18 Therefore shall ye lay up these my words in your heart and in your soul, and bind them for a sign upon your hand, that they may be as frontlets between your eyes. 19 And ye shall teach them your children, speaking of them when thou sittest in thine house, and when thou walkest by the way, when thou liest down, and when thou risest up.
deu
As parents, we are first accountable for our own souls. Are we diligent observers of the word of God? Do we have his commandment written on the tablets of our hearts? Have we been laying up his words in the store room of our hearts as treasures? Are we constantly influenced in our life’s decisions by his words in our hearts - in other words: are we genuine in our followership of God? Foremost, the word of God needs to be indwelling in our own hearts before we can start thinking of impacting our children with it. the bible says: “out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaketh.” “what I am commanding you this day shall be first in your own heart, then you shall whet it and sharpen it, and make it penetrate into the hearts of your children”
9 Only take heed to thyself, and keep thy soul diligently, lest thou forget the things which thine eyes have seen, and lest they depart from thy heart all the days of thy life: but teach them thy sons, and thy sons’ sons;
— only give heed to thyself, and keep thy soul diligently… before you start giving account of what you have done with your children, you will account for your soul.
11 For it is written, As I live, saith the Lord, every knee shall bow to me, and every tongue shall confess to God. 12 So then every one of us shall give account of himself to God.
Rom 14:11-
2. You will give account of your view of your Children: do you see them as blessings from the Lord, or as a burden?
3. You are meant to be a teacher, you will give account of how well and how diligently you are instructing them: Are you negotiating instruction with advice? do you simply give advice when you are meant to instruct and command them? - you will give account to the LORD.
4 And, ye fathers, provoke not your children to wrath: but bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord.
6 Train up a child in the way he should go: And when he is old, he will not depart from it.
19 For I know him, that he will command his children and his household after him, and they shall keep the way of the Lord, to do justice and judgment; that the Lord may bring upon Abraham that which he hath spoken of him.
Eph
listen to what God said about Abraham in gen 18:19
19 For I know him, that he will command his children and his household after him, and they shall keep the way of the Lord, to do justice and judgment; that the Lord may bring upon Abraham that which he hath spoken of him.
— he will command, another translation says, he will instruct … he will show by example, what is meant to serve and follow after God.
few examples from the Life of Abraham, that became indelible marks impressed upon the life of his children and people of his household:
indelible marks upon the life of his children:
Abraham was a friend of God
Abraham was a worshiper -
Abraham was an instructor -
Abraham was a tither - he gave the tithe of all
Abraham was man of faith
Abraham was a man of prayer - an intercessor.
Just to mention few. and all these things we saw replicating in the life of people of his household.
4. Every parent will give account of how well we have protected our children from societal views, believes and issues that are capable of endangering their faith and life’s purpose; and their livelihood both physically and spiritually. We read about Jochebed -the mother of Moses in Exodus, her efforts at outsmarting the societal decree that endangered the life and purpose of her child, later we read in Hebrew 11:23 that...
23 By faith Moses’ parents hid him for three months after he was born, because they saw he was no ordinary child, and they were not afraid of the king’s edict.
— meaning, do we take time as parents to screen the company that our children keep, the kind of program that they watch on the TV, the kind of gathering that they attend, the kind of views that forms the basis of their actions and reactions to life issues?
5. Every parent will give account of how you discipline your children in the lord: we live in a generation where the society is what dictates how you instruct your children, and in most states around the world “discipline has gained a different meaning” parents are no longer to use the rod of correction, parents are tending towards negotiation than correction, because if you are firm the society will say you are abusing your children, or if you redirect their wrong view on gender, the society will say you are intolerant. listen to this: Any society that empowers children over their parent is doomed to fail and fall. Parents, let us take caution, because you will give account to God on how well you discipline and correct your children according to the scripture:
In prov 29:17 The bible says:
but the bible says:
17 Correct thy son, and he shall give thee rest; Yea, he shall give delight unto thy soul.
— I want you to note this, the society and families are in a constant state of unrest because the parents have been diminished below their children in this responsibility.
The bible says:
24 He who withholds his rod hates his son, But he who loves him disciplines him diligently.
12 For whom the Lord loveth he correcteth; Even as a father the son in whom he delighteth.
18 Chasten thy son while there is hope, And let not thy soul spare for his crying.
— contrary to what the society believes: the scripture makes it clear that “discipline and correction is a sign of true LOVE”
— we should fear, because: There is a TIMELINE for discipline and correction, if you loose your timing , then the child is heading for DEATH… so do it why there is still hope...
What have we learnt so far:
What have we learnt so far:
you are accountable to God
you will give account to God:
first of your soul
of your view of your children
of your instruction as a teacher
you will give account of yourself as a protector, and
you will give account of your self as a disciplinarian
III. The ROLE of Godly Father and Mother in Biblical Parenting:
III. The ROLE of Godly Father and Mother in Biblical Parenting:
I will also approach this under two sub headings:
The summarized role of a godly father and
The summarized role of a godly mother
A. The Summarized Role of a Godly father:
A. The Summarized Role of a Godly father:
Who is a father?
A man who has a child - biological or spiritual.
According to greek word “pater” from which we have the word “father.” Father can be described as
a nourisher
a protector
and an upholder
in order words, a father is a man who accepts the responsibility of providing leadership, guidance and protection for his children.
What a father must do right.
You must demonstrate before your children reverence and love for God
you must demonstrate sacrificial love for your wife
you must demonstrate providential support for them financially and in other areas as well
you must demonstrate leadership
You must demonstrate discipline as true love
you must demonstrate sacrifice as true love
you must demonstrate diligent training and instruction as being responsible
you must demonstrate prayerfulness as dependance and worship to God
you must demonstrate obedience as a must to God in all things
you must demonstrate the scripture as the authority in all situations of life.