Sermon Tone Analysis

Review:

ILLUSTRATION 453

MEN AND MARRIAGE

Topics: Attitudes; Commitment; Contentment; Family; Husbands; Love; Marriage; Singleness; Wives

References: Genesis 2:24; Proverbs 12:4; 18:22; Malachi 2:16; Mark 10:9

It’s better to marry than to stay single, men said.

That was the finding of a study done in 2006 by the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention.

About 66 percent of men agreed with the statement, “It is better to get married than go through life single,” compared with only 51 percent of women.

In addition 76 percent of men and 72 percent of women agreed that “it is more important for a man to spend a lot of time with his family than be successful at his career.”

The study involved more than 12,000 men and women, ages fifteen to forty-four, and comprised the government’s first comprehensive glimpse into the male psyche.

Relationship expert Neil Chethik said the data mirrors his own research, in which 90 percent of married men say they would marry the same woman if given a chance to do it again.

—Sharon Jayson, “Marriage Means More to Men,” USA Today (June 1, 2006)

Having established that the value of both partners in the marital relationship is linked to their Creator () and having established that trust within the context of marriage is more about trust in God than each other, we now move one to what this looks like in living out the gospel towards each other.

(1) The value of men and women is linked to their Creator ()

(2) Trust in the Lord is foundational for the covenant of marriage ()

Review:

Marriage is God's institution.

It is to be fundamentally attached to our trust in Him.

Our trust in Him should restore a security that frees us to live toward our spouse in a manner that seals our marriage.

How the Gospel eliminates finger-pointing:

Waste of Time

All blame is a waste of time.

No matter how much fault you find with another, and regardless of how much you blame him, it will not change you.

The only thing blame does is to keep the focus off you when you are looking for external reasons to explain your unhappiness or frustration.

You may succeed in making another feel guilty of something by blaming him, but you won’t succeed in changing whatever it is about you that is making you unhappy.

Galaxie Software.

(2002).

10,000 Sermon Illustrations.

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Specifically, when I see and believe that God has graciously brought security to me (before Him/God) in the Person of Jesus Christ, I don't have to force my wife to do anything that would cause me to be secure.

Leaving, Cleaving, & Weaving is the outgrowth of this security:

The security I have in the Lord frees me to graciously live towards my wife in a committed way: leaving, cleaving, and weaving.

Often, this is mistaken for just the initiation of the marriage; but this needs to be seen as a perpetual commitment to the Lord that results in a perpetual commitment to our spouse.

Practically, this means that I need to be an individual who is not only born again but who is continually believing the gospel, so that I can continually live out the gospel towards my spouse.

Secondly, understanding marriage this way calls me to assess NOT whether my husband/wife is a good husband/wife but rather it calls me to hold myself accountable to living out the gospel, according to who I am in Jesus.

This means that a gospel-secure Christian is not always going around pointing out the flaws of their partner (whether in heart, word, or deed) but they are humbly seeking to see the gospel lived out in their own lives.

This understanding helps to eliminate the finger pointing that often takes place in marriages.

This helps to eliminate the vengeance that is so often seen.

How would the scripture call us to understand vengeance, bitterness, and forgiveness in marriage?

This understanding helps to eliminate the finger pointing that often takes place in marriages.

This helps to eliminate the vengeance that is so often seen.

How would the scripture call us to understand vengeance, bitterness, and forgiveness in marriage?

Introductory thoughts:

(1) Book of Colossians is about the supremacy of Jesus Christ

Remember that the book of Colossians is ultimately about the supremacy of Christ.

What does a relationship with the supremacy of Christ look like?

(2) draws from the creation account in a couple of ways (3:8 - 10)

There are several facts about our immediate context that connect it with the Adamic Account.

First note () that Paul is referencing that of putting on and off.

Second, note the renewal that is after the "image of him" that created him ().

It is safe to see this combination as an allusion to the opening part of scripture.

POINT: Having been made a new creation in Jesus inwardly, there should be a manifestation of this outwardly.

It is important that this emphasis is not missed!

The inward reality is to be manifest outwardly.

This means that security in a relationship does not begin with what your spouse says or what your spouse does.

Security in marriage begins with your understanding of your relationship with the Lord.

In more detail this means that when you were unlovable, God loved you and sent Jesus to make you acceptable with Him (God).

In having Christ, you are more acceptable than you could ever have hoped to be in any earthly relationship.

Now, because of this new man inwardly, you should live outwardly.

Understanding

(3) Working through the passage:

Notice again this connection in .

Paul calls these believers elect of God.

This means that they are chosen in Christ.

Secondly, Paul calls them "holy and beloved."

These are terms indicating sanctity and love.

In these terms, Paul is referring to who they are!

Who they are is the reality that is to be manifest outwardly.

Who they are is the reality that brings security so that they don't need to live selfishly trying to justify themselves or get a name for themselves.

They have a name in Jesus already.

An individual who doesn't believe this or have this is constantly trying to use other people for the selfish benefit of having a name for themselves or for their own selfish means.

Believe the security that you have in Jesus!

“Bowels of Mercies” & “Kindness”

This identity fans out in very specific ways.

Notice () "bowels of mercies".

This phrase has to do with compassion.

The same term is used to speak of Judas' bowels gushing out () when he commited suicide.

This terminology was common with the ancients to speak of an inward quality.

Secondly, kindness.

This is goodness that is expressed in kind acts.

It is a kindness that God has shown to us in Christ and now is to be manifested to others ().

Humility & Meekness

Next you see humility.

, help to understand this word by reminding us that it is a way that someone values the interest of others over their own interests.

It is an inward quality that results in an outward meekness ().

Meekness is gentleness, and it is too closely linked to humility to separate the two ().

It is a disposition of the inner man before God as well as the disposition of the outer man before others.

Meekness: “Gentleness” (prautēs) the opposite of arrogance and self-assertiveness, is the special mark of the man who has a delicate consideration for the rights and feelings of others.

C.F.D. Moule aptly defines it as “willingness to make concessions” (p.

123).

[Vaughan, C. (1981).

Colossians.

In F. E. Gaebelein (Ed.),

The Expositor’s Bible Commentary: Ephesians through Philemon (Vol.

11, p. 215).

Grand Rapids, MI: Zondervan Publishing House.].

Longsuffering, Putting Up, Forgiveness

Next, the term "longsuffering" is one that cannot be divorced from the next verse ().

Longsuffering is patience.

It allows you to bear insult and harm.

This patience is further elaborated in .

"Forbearing one another" means to put up with () and "forgiving one another" is quite clear.