“What is a father?” A boy answered, “A father is a person who has pictures in his wallet where he used to have money.”

Scripture:

Proverbs 20:3-7 (NASB95)

3  Keeping away from strife is an honor for a man,

But any fool will quarrel.

4  The sluggard does not plow after the autumn,

So he begs during the harvest and has nothing.

5  A plan in the heart of a man is like deep water,

But a man of understanding draws it out.

6  Many a man proclaims his own loyalty,

But who can find a trustworthy man?

7  A righteous man who walks in his integrity—

How blessed are his sons after him.

Scripture: Ephesians 6:4:

“And you, fathers, do not provoke your children to wrath, but bring them up in the training and admonition of the Lord.”

Introduction: God has given children someone whose power and prestige is greater than all the influences of society put together. One person, more than any other, can make a difference in a young person’s life: his or her father.

The importance of a godly dad can’t be overstated.

But how do we become warm and attentive fathers?

How can we improve our parenting skills?

I.       A Patient Man (v. 3).

I.       A wise father must be patient. Keil and Delitzsch translate this verse: “It is an honor for a man to remain far from strife; but every fool shows his teeth.” Have you ever been around an irritable dog that growled and showed its teeth? By the same token, have you ever been around an easily irritated dad who is always growling at his kids? A good dad cultivates a pleasant, patient, positive personality. None of us is totally unflappable, but it often helps to memorize Scripture. When you feel yourself getting angry, instead of cursing or counting to ten, try saying one of these verses to yourself: Ephesians 6:4, Proverbs 15:1, Proverbs 29:11—or Proverbs 20:3. Make up your mind to be patient, and learn to make a strategic exit whenever you find yourself losing control. Ask God to help you control your temper, and learn to smile more at your children.

II.    A Hard Worker (v. 4).

A good father is also a hard-working man, not lazy nor a sluggard. One of the causes of maladjusted, troubled children have been fathers that were too passive, and one of the characteristics of weak, passive fathers is laziness. I’m talking about the man who drags home from work, flops in front of a television, pops open a beer, and stays there all night. That man is setting a sad example for his children. The world is lost, the work of the church is great, the days are short, the opportunities are big. The Bible tells us to redeem the time, because the days are evil. A good dad is a diligent man whose schedule includes time for his wife and children.

III.  A Good Listener (v. 5).

A good dad is also a good listener. For our purposes today, we can paraphrase verse 5 to say: “The thoughts in a child’s heart are like deep waters, but an understanding father draws them out.” A child’s heart is not a spigot, but a well. Good conversation can’t be turned on and off at will, you’ve got to let it bubble up. In other words, parents can’t just sit down with their children (especially their teens) and say, “Let’s talk.” We’ve got to spend time together in a relaxed setting, giving our children lots of informal opportunities to open up.

IV.A Faithful Friend (v. 6).

A good dad is also a faithful friend. A lot of men say, “I love my wife, and I love my children.” But does he take time to be with them? Does he meet their emotional needs? Is he their companion? Does he confide to them his thoughts and feelings? Does he fulfill his role as spiritual leader of the household? Is he really faithful before God?

V.   A Righteous Soul (v. 7).

A good dad is a righteous man. He leads a blameless life of high character and caliber. He is committed to Jesus Christ, to His Word, to prayer, and to His church. He is honest, modeling integrity for his children.

Conclusion: The promise at the end of verse 7 says that the children of such a man will be blessed. Happy is the child whose father is a patient man, a hard worker, a good listener, a faithful friend, and a righteous soul. Happy are the children of the dad whose God is the Lord.

20:3 One who is a peacemaker is under the blessing of God (Matt. 5:9). A needlessly contentious person is but a fool. The man of peace has glory; the fool, only shame. Better to avoid the quarrel altogether (17:14).

20:4 Because the lazy man (19:24) does not plow his field on time, he has nothing to harvest (10:5).

20:5 draw it out: The wise of ancient Israel knew something that modern counselors rediscover in their training and experience, that motivation for behavior is complex. A gifted counselor is able to draw out from a person genuine feelings and motivations, just as someone draws water from a deep well.

20:6 The idea here is self-worth as against true worth, an inflated self-opinion as against the true nature of things. We each tend to present the best; but within we may know the worst.

20:7 The freedom and pleasure of integrity are magnified in this sentence (19:8). The idea is one of legacy. The righteous not only live well themselves; they also leave a happy legacy to their children. Conversely, the wicked (the foolish) leave a legacy of despair. A family’s faith will engender family traits.

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20:3 An honorable person makes a point of keeping aloof from strife. A fool isn’t happy unless he’s quarreling with someone.

20:4 Plowing time in Israel is in November and December, when the wind commonly blows from the North. The lazy man uses the cold weather to excuse his inaction. Without the plowing there can be no planting, and without the planting no harvest. He’ll go out looking for grain in his fields and wonder why it isn’t there.

20:5 A man’s thoughts and intentions are often hidden deeply in his mind. He will not generally bring them to the surface. But a person of discernment knows how to draw them out by wise questions. For example, a good counselor can help a person bring crooked thinking to the light and thus remedy it.

20:6 It is not hard to find those who profess to be loyal, but it is another thing to find those who really are faithful. There is a difference between what men are, and what they want others to think they are. It is the difference between “Person” and “Personality.”

20:7 The righteous man walks in honesty and integrity. His children come into a noble heritage and benefit from his life and example.

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20:3. Avoiding strife is honorable, though the way some people are quick to quarrel would make one think they thought quarreling is honorable. Such people are fools. Arguments can be avoided by overlooking insults (12:16), by dropping issues that are potentially volatile (17:14), and by getting rid of mockers (22:10).

20:4. In the Middle East the season for plowing and planting is the winter, the rainy season. A sluggard avoids the discomfort and work of plowing a muddy field in the cold, so at harvesttime he looks for a crop from his field but he has nothing. Without effort and advance planning there are few results; lack of work leads to lack of benefits.

20:5. A person’s plans are like deep waters (cf. 18:4) which a wise person can draw out. That is, a discerning person can help another bring to the surface his true thoughts, intentions, or motives. Often awise counselor can help a person examine his true motives-thoughts he may not fully understand otherwise.

20:6. Loyalty (ḥeseḏ, unfailing love) and faithfulness are desirable qualities (cf. 3:3; 19:22), but not everyone who claims to have them actually does. In fact faithfulness is usually missing. Keeping one’s word and being loyal to one’s commitments are important.

20:7. Verses 7-11 refer to various kinds of conduct. Usually a righteous man, a person who consistently behaves aright and is blameless (morally whole; cf. 2:7; 10:9), has children who are blessed. His children, seeing his example of integrity, are encouraged to be the same kind of people.

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Prov. 20:3. Or better: whoever is a fool quisquis amens, for the emphasis does not lie on this, that every fool, i.e., every single one of this sort, contends to the uttermost; but that whoever is only always a fool finds pleasure in such strife. Regarding הִתְגַּלַּע, vid., 17:14; 18:1. On the contrary, it is an honour to a man to be peaceable, or, as it is here expressed, to remain far from strife. The phrase may be translated: to desist from strife; but in this case the word would be pointed שְׁבֹת, which Hitzig prefers; for שֶׁבֶת from שָׁבַת means, 2 Sam. 23:7, annihilation (the termination of existence); also Ex. 21:19, שִׁבְתֹּו does not mean to be keeping holy day; but to be sitting, viz., at home, in a state of incapability for work. Rightly Fleischer: “יָשַׁב מִן , like Arab. ḳ’ad ṣan, to remain sitting quiet, and thus to hold oneself removed from any kind of activity.” He who is prudent, and cares for his honour, not only breaks off strife when it threatens to become passionate, but does not at all enter into it, keeps himself far removed from it.

4     At the beginning of the harvest the sluggard plougheth not;

     And so when he cometh to the reaping-time there is nothing.

Prov. 20:4. Many translators (Symmachus, Jerome, Luther) and interpreters (e.g., Rashi, Zöckler) explain: propter frigus; but חֹרֶף is, according to its verbal import, not a synon. of קֹר and צִנָּה, but means gathering = the time of gathering (synon. אָסִיף), from חָרַף, carpere, 157as harvest, the time of the καρπίζειν, the plucking off of the fruit; but the harvest is the beginning of the old Eastern agricultural year, for in Palestine and Syria the time of ploughing and sowing with the harvest or early rains (חָרִיף = יֹורֶה, Neh. 7:24; Ezra 2:18) followed the fruit harvest from October to December. The מִן is thus not that of cause but of time. Thus rendered, it may mean the beginning of an event and onwards (e.g., 1 Sam. 30:25), as well as its termination and onwards (Lev. 27:17): here of the harvest and its ingathering and onwards. In 4b, the Chethîb and Kerî vary as at 18:17. The fut. יִשְׁאֹל would denote what stands before the sluggard; the perf. וְשָׁאַל places him in the midst of this, and besides has this in its favour, that, interpreted as perf. hypotheticum, it makes the absence of an object to שׁאל more tenable. The Chethîb, וְשָׁאֵל, is not to be read after Ps. 109:10: he will beg in harvest—in vain (Jerome, Luther), to which Hitzig well remarks: Why in vain? Amid the joy of harvest people dispense most liberally; and the right time for begging comes later. Hitzig conjecturally arrives at the translation:

     “A pannier the sluggard provideth not;

     Seeketh to borrow in harvest, and nothing cometh of it.”

But leaving out of view the “pannier,” the meaning “to obtain something as a loan,” which שׁאל from the connection may bear, is here altogether imaginary. Let one imagine to himself an indolent owner of land, who does not trouble himself about the filling and sowing of his fields at the right time and with diligence, but leaves this to his people, who do only as much as is commanded them: such an one asks, when now the harvest-time has come, about the ingathering; but he receives the answer, that the land has lain unploughed, because he had not commanded it to be ploughed. When he asks, there is nothing, he asks in vain (וָאָיִן, as at 14:6; 13:4). Meîri rightly explains מֵחֹרֶף by מתחלת זמן החרישׁה , and 4b by: “so then, when he asks at harvest time, he will find nothing;” on the other hand, the LXX and Aram. think on חרף, carpere conviciis, as also in Codd. here and there is found the meaningless מֵחֹרֵף.

5     The purpose in the heart of a man is deep water;

     But a man of understanding draweth it out.

Prov. 20:5. “Still waters are deep.” Like such deep waters (Prov. 18:4) is that which a man hath secretly (Isa. 29:15) planned in his heart. He keeps it secret, conceals it carefully, craftily misleads those who seek to draw it out; but the man of תְּבוּנָה, i.e., one who possesses the right criteria for distinguishing between good and bad, true and false, and at the same time has the capacity to look through men and things, draws out (the Venet. well, ἀνέλξει) the secret עֵצָה, for he penetrates to the bottom of the deep water. Such an one does not deceive himself with men, he knows how to estimate their conduct according to its last underlying motive and aim; and if the purpose is one that is pernicious to him, he meets it in the process of realization. What is here said is applicable not only to the subtle statesman and the general, but also the pragmatical historian and the expositor, as, e.g., of a poem such as the book of Job, the idea of which lies like a pearl at the bottom of deep water.

6     Almost every one meeteth a man who is gracious to him;

     But a man who standeth the test, who findeth such a one?

Prov. 20:6. As צִיר אמונים , 13:17, signifies a messenger in whom there is confidence, and אֵד אמונים , 14:5, a witness who is altogether truthful, so אִישׁ אֱמוּנִים is a man who remains true to himself, and maintains fidelity toward others. Such an one it is not easy to find; but patrons who make promises and awaken expectations, finally to leave in the lurch him who depends on them—of such there are many. This contrast would proceed from 6a also, if we took קָרָא in the sense of to call, to call or cry out with ostentation: multi homines sunt quorum suam quisque humanitatem proclamat (Schelling, Fleischer, Ewald, Zöckler, and also, e.g., Meîri). But אִישׁ חַסְדֹּו is certainly to be interpreted after 11:17, Isa. 57:1. Recognising this, Hitzig translates: many a man one names his dear friend; but in point of style this would be as unsuitable as possible. Must יִקְרָא then mean vocat? A more appropriate parallel word to מָצָא is קָרָא = קָרָה, according to which, with Oetinger, Heidenheim, Euchel, and Löwenstein, we explain: the greater part of men meet one who shows himself to them (to this or that man) as אִישׁ חֶסֶד , a man well-affectioned and benevolent; but it is rare to find one who in his affection and its fruits proves himself to be true, and actually performs that which was hoped for from him. Luther translates, with the Syr. and Targ. after Jerome: Viel Menschen werden From gerhümbt [many men are reputed pious]; but if יִקִרָא were equivalent to יִקָּרֵא, then אִישׁ חֶסֶד ought to have been used instead of איש חסדו . The LXX read רַב אדם יקר איש חסד , man is something great, and a compassionate man is something precious; but it costs trouble to find out a true man. The fundamental thought remains almost the same in all these interpretations and readings: love is plentiful; fidelity, rare; therefore חסד, of the right kind, after the image of God, is joined to אמת.

7     He who in his innocence walketh as one upright,

     Blessed are his children after him!

Prov. 20:7. We may not take the first line as a separate clause with צַדִּיק, as subject (Van Dyk, Elster) or predicate (Targ.); for, thus rendered, it does not appropriately fall in as parallel to the second line, because containing nothing of promise, and the second line would then strike in at least not so unconnectedly (cf. on the contrary, 10:9; 14:25). We have before us a substantival clause, of which the first line is the complex subject. But Jerome, the Venet., and Luther erroneously: the just man walking in his innocence; this placing first of the adj. is in opposition to the Hebr. syntax. We must, if the whole is to be interpreted as nom., regard צדיק as permutative: one walking in his innocence, a righteous one. But, without doubt, tsedek is the accus. of the manner; in the manner of one righteous, or in apposition: as one righteous; cf. Job 31:26 with Mic. 2:7. Thus Hitzig rightly also refers to these two passages, and Ewald also refers to 22:11; 24:15. To walk in his innocence as a righteous man, is equivalent to always to do that which is right, without laying claim to any distinction or making any boast on that account; for thereby one only follows the impulse and the direction of his heart, which shows itself and can show itself not otherwise than in unreserved devotion to God and to that which is good. The children after him are not the children after his death (Gen. 24:67); but, according to Deut. 4:40, cf. Job 21:21, those who follow his example, and thus those who come after him; for already in the lifetime of such an one, the benediction begins to have its fulfilment in his children.

The following group begins with a royal proverb, which expresses what a king does with his eyes. Two proverbs, of the seeing eye and the necessary opening of the eyes, close it.

8     A king sitting on the seat of justice,

     Scattereth asunder all evil with his eyes.

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20.3

This saying makes a contrast between an honorable person and a fool. The one takes care to avoid strife, while the other is quarrelsome by nature.

It is an honor for a man to keep aloof from strife: This is expressed more briefly and more naturally in nrsv, which says “It is honorable to refrain from strife.” njb takes strife to refer to a legal dispute, rendering the line “It is praiseworthy to stop short of a law-suit.” Other versions are more general, with “arguments” (tev), “a fight” (cev), “a dispute” (reb). Refer also to 17.1 for strife. In translation the sense of keep aloof may be expressed either as “staying away” from conflict or as “withdrawing” from a situation in which there is conflict already.

But every fool will be quarreling: Every fool introduces a general statement about the behavior of fools. Quarreling is parallel to strife in the previous line; the same verb occurs in 17.14, where rsv renders it “breaks out.” The sense is that an argument breaks out among a group of people. This line may be expressed in other ways; in English, for example, we may say “a fool is always quarreling” or “fools love to quarrel” (cev).

In some languages a better progression of thought in this saying may be ob tained by reversing the lines, as in tev.

20.4

The topic of this saying is people who are lazy and the loss that they suffer as a consequence of their laziness. The picture in this instance is of a farmer who neglects to prepare his ground for sowing at the appropriate time.

The sluggard does not plow: For sluggard see 6.6. The verb plow may not be understood in some parts of the world where people are not familiar with this agricultural practice. If this is the case we may speak of breaking up the ground or digging the ground to prepare it for the planting of crops. One translation says, for example, “The lazy person doesn’t go to break the ground in his garden.”

The sense of in the autumn depends on an understanding of the climate and the agricultural cycle in the land of ancient Israel. There are two seasons in the eastern Mediterranean area, a hot dry summer from May to September and a cool moderately rainy season from October to April, which is the season referred to as autumn here. In the time of the Old Testament, harvesting of the various crops took place over the months from April to September and then plowing for the following growing season was done as soon as the hardened soil was softened by “the early rains” falling in October or November. While autumn or “at the onset of winter” (Scott) makes sense in some European countries, it will probably not convey the essential meaning to readers who are unfamiliar with the eastern Mediterranean area. Hence nrsv and niv say “in season,” meaning “at the appropriate time of the year.” tev has simply “at the right time,” which may be a good model for some translators to follow. cev says only “too lazy to plow,” which gets the overall meaning of the saying (“no pain, no gain”) but does not translate the sense of plowing at the time when it should be done; this is not recommended to translators.

There may be a problem in this saying for some translators, because there is no mention of sowing or planting a crop. We have to assume that plowing in this context includes planting as well; but it may be necessary to make this clear in some languages. One translation, for example, says “The lazy person doesn’t break up his ground at the time for planting food”; another has “The person who is too tired to plant his garden at the right time ….”

He will seek at harvest and have nothing: This is the obvious consequence of the first line and makes the saying complete. English versions mostly render seek as “looks [for a crop]”; some, like tev, leave this element to be understood by their readers and just say, for example, “at harvest time there is nothing” or “he has nothing to harvest.”

20.5

This saying is an observation about human nature, namely that it is not easy to discover a person’s thoughts or a person’s real intentions, but that someone who has understanding is able to do so.

The purpose in a man’s mind is like deep water: In this simile a person’s thoughts or intentions are compared to water that is deep (compare the same simile used of a person’s words in 18.4). In the light of the verb draw out in the next line tev takes this to be a picture of a well in which the water is a long way down. In any case the point of comparison is that both deep water and a person’s thoughts are difficult to get hold of. While cev translates the term purpose as “someone’s thoughts” and tev is similar, the sense is more likely to be the intentions, plans, or motives of people, as in 19.21, and translators should try to find equivalents for this sense in their languages. Translations like nrsv and niv in English retain the rendering “purposes.”

But a man of understanding will draw it out: A man of understanding, as in 11.12, is a person who has insight (tev) or intelligence (nrsv). reb has “a discerning person.” To draw out someone’s thoughts is to bring them to light or to “discover them” (cev). The sense of the future will draw it out is that the intelligent person is able to understand; tev has “someone with insight can ….”

A model translation for this whole verse is:

•                    The plans of a person lie deep in his heart like something lying at the bottom of deep water,

but a person of understanding can draw it from there.

20.6

Many a man proclaims his own loyalty: Many a man means “many people” or possibly “Everyone” (tev). This is a comment on human nature in general, so another possible rendering is “People say ….” The sense of proclaims his own loyalty is “claim that they can be trusted.” Loyalty renders the Hebrew word chesed, which means faithful love in a relationship, so it may point in particular to giving help and sympathy to another person in time of need. In line with this some translations say something like “Many people say that they love their friends.” However, the parallel expression in line 2 does mean “trustworthy,” and it is therefore quite likely that this is the sense intended here in line 1 also. So cev has “There are many who say ‘You can trust me!’ ”

But a faithful man who can find?: This rsv rendering is not natural English (and niv is the same). The literal Hebrew is better expressed in njb, “but who can find someone really to be trusted?” The Hebrew form is a rhetorical question that actually has the meaning that it is impossible to find any person who is really trustworthy. English versions generally render this as a question, but it is also possible to express the meaning as a statement; for example, “But there are very few who are faithful friends” or “But if you look for this kind of person, you can’t find one.”

20.7

This saying is one statement, not two. It makes the point that the best thing parents can pass on to their children is an example of upright living.

A righteous man who walks in integrity: The Hebrew is literally “walking in- his-integrity righteous.” The verb walks refers to a person’s way of life, so the sense is “a good person living uprightly.” For

Blessed are his sons after him: This is the consequence of the first line—a person’s children are blessed as a consequence of his righteous living. In current English blessed may also be expressed as “happy” (nrsv, reb) or “fortunate” (tev). cev understands blessed to mean the blessing of God, “God blesses ….” Sons is not intended to refer only to male children, so modern English versions generally have “children.” The meaning of after him is that children come “after” their parents in the next generation.

In some translations the saying is restructured as a conditional statement; for example, “If someone leads a good and upright life, happy are his children after him” (reb) and “When a man lives … his sons are fortunate …” (Scott). tev also reverses the order of the two lines: “Children are fortunate if they have a father who ….” These are all good examples for translators to follow.

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Verse 3

This is designed to rectify men’s mistakes concerning strife. 1. Men think it is their wisdom to engage in quarrels; whereas it is the greatest folly that can be. He thinks himself a wise man that is quick in resenting affronts, that stands upon every nicety of honour and right, and will not abate an ace of either, that prescribes, and imposes, and gives law, to every body; but he that thus meddles is a fool, and creates a great deal of needless vexation to himself. 2. Men think, when they are engaged in quarrels, that it would be a shame to them to go back and let fall the weapon; whereas really it is an honour for a man to cease from strife, an honour to withdraw an action, to drop a controversy, to forgive an injury, and to be friends with those that we have fallen out with. It is the honour of a man, a wise man, a man of spirit, to show the command he has of himself by ceasing from strife, yielding, and stooping, and receding from his just demands, for peace-sake, as Abraham, the better man, Gen. 13:8.

Verse 4

See here the evil of slothfulness and the love of ease. 1. It keeps men from the most necessary business, from ploughing and sowing when the season is: The sluggard has ground to occupy, and has ability for it; he can plough, but he will not; some excuse or other he has to shift it off, but the true reason is that it is cold weather. Though ploughing time is not in the depth of winter, it is in the borders of winter, when he thinks it too cold for him to be abroad. Those are scandalously sluggish who, in the way of their business, cannot find in their hearts to undergo so little toil as that of ploughing and so little hardship as that of a cold blast. Thus careless are many in the affairs of their souls; a trifling difficulty will frighten them from the most important duty; but good soldiers must endure hardness. 2. Thereby it deprives them of the most necessary supports: Those that will not plough in seed-time cannot expect to reap in harvest; and therefore they must beg their bread with astonishment when the diligent are bringing home their sheaves with joy. He that will not submit to the labour of ploughing must submit to the shame of begging. They shall beg in harvest, and yet have nothing; no, not then when there is great plenty. Though it may be charity to relieve sluggards, yet a man may, in justice, not relieve them; they deserve to be left to starve. Those that would not provide oil in their vessels begged when the bridegroom came, and were denied.

Verse 5

A man’s wisdom is here said to be of use to him for the pumping of other people, and diving into them, 1. To get the knowledge of them. Though men’s counsels and designs are ever so carefully concealed by them, so that they are as deep water which one cannot fathom, yet there are those who by sly insinuations, and questions that seem foreign, will get out of them both what they have done and what they intend to do. Those therefore who would keep counsel must not only put on resolution, but stand upon their guard. 2. To get knowledge by them. Some are very able and fit to give counsel, having an excellent faculty of cleaving a hair, hitting the joint of a difficulty, and advising pertinently, but they are modest, and reserved, and not communicative; they have a great deal in them, but it is loth to come out. In such a case a man of understanding will draw it out, as wine out of a vessel. We lose the benefit we might have by the conversation of wise men for want of the art of being inquisitive.

Verse 6

Note, 1. It is easy to find those that will pretend to be kind and liberal. Many a man will call himself a man of mercy, will boast what good he has done and what good he designs to do, or, at least, what an affection he has to well-doing. Most men will talk a great deal of their charity, generosity, hospitality, and piety, will sound a trumpet to themselves, as the Pharisees, and what little goodness they have will proclaim it and make a mighty matter of it. 2. But it is hard to find those that really are kind and liberal, that have done and will do more than either they speak of or care to hear spoken of, that will be true friends in a strait; such a one as one may trust to is like a black swan.

Verse 7

It is here observed to the honour of a good man, 1. That he does well for himself. He has a certain rule, which with an even steady hand he governs himself by: He walks in his integrity; he keeps good conscience, and he has the comfort of it, for it is his rejoicing. He is not liable to those uneasinesses, either in contriving what he shall do or reflecting on what he has done, which those are liable to that walk in deceit. 2. That he does well for his family: His children are blessed after him, and fare the better for his sake. God has mercy in store for the seed of the faithful.

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20:4 Because the sluggard (see 19:24) does not plow his field on time, he has nothing to harvest (see 10:5).

20:5 draw it out: The wise of ancient Israel knew something that modern counselors rediscover in their training and experience, that motivation for behavior is complex. A gifted counselor is able to draw out from a person genuine feelings and motivations, just as someone draws water from a deep well.

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Ver. 3.—It is an honour to a man to cease from strife; or better, as Delitzsch and others, to remain far from strife. A prudent man will not only abstain from causing quarrel, but will hold himself aloof from all contention, and thus will have due care for his own honour and dignity. How different is this from the modern code, which makes a man’s honour consist in his readiness to avenge fancied injury at the risk of his own or his neighbour’s life! Septuagint, “It is a glory to a man to hold himself aloof from revilings.” Every fool will be meddling (see on ch. 17:14; 18:1). Delitzsch, “Whoever is a fool showeth his teeth,” finds pleasure in strife. Septuagint, “Every fool involves himself in such,” as in ver. 1.

Ver. 4.—The sluggard will not plough by reason of the cold; propter frigus, Vulgate. But חֹרֶף (choreph) denotes the time of gathering—the autumn; so we would translate, “At the time of harvest the sluggard ploughs not.”—just when the ground is most easily and profitably worked. “The weakness of the coulter and other parts of the plough requires that advantage be taken, in all but the most friable soils, of the softening of the surface by the winter or spring rains; so that the peasant, if industrious, has to plough in the winter, though sluggards still shrink from its cold, and have to beg in the harvest” (Geikie, ‘Holy Land and Bible,’ ii. 491). Therefore shall he beg in harvest, and have nothing. So the Vulgate, Mendicabit ergo æstate, et non dabitur illi. But this does not accurately represent the meaning of the clause. If ever the prosperous are disposed to relieve the needy, it would be at the time when they have safely garnered their produce; an appeal to their charity at such a moment would not be made in vain. Rather the sentence signifies that the lazy man, having neglected to have his land ploughed at the proper time, “when he asks (for his fruits) at harvest-time, there is nothing.” He puts off tilling his fields day after day, or never looks to see if his labourers of their duty, and so his land is not cultivated, and he has no crop to reap when autumn comes. “By the street of By-and-by one arrives at the house of Never” (Spanish proverb). Taking a different interpretation of the word choreph, the LXX. renders, “Being reproached, the sluggard is not ashamed, no more than he who borrows corn in harvest.”

Ver. 5.—Counsel in the heart of man is like deep water. The thoughts and purposes of a man are hidden in his breast like deep water (ch. 18:4) in the bosom of the earth, hard to fathom, hard to get. But a man of understanding will draw it out. One who is intelligent and understands human nature penetrates the secret, and, by judicious questions and remarks, draws out ἐξαντλήσει, Septuagint) the hidden thought.

Ver. 6.—Most men will proclaim every one his own goodness; chesed, “kindness,” “mercy,” “liberality,” as in ch. 19:22. So Ewald and others. Hitzig and Kamphausen translate, “Many a man one names his dear friend;” Delitzsch and Nowack prefer, “Most men meet a man who is gracious to them;” i.e. it is common enough to meet a man who seems benevolent and well disposed. Vulgate, “Many men are called merciful;” Septuagint, “Men is a great thing, and a merciful man is a precious thing.” The renderings of most modern commentators imply the statement that love and mercy are common enough, at least in outward expression. The Authorized Version pronounces that men are ready enough to parade and boast of their liberality, like the hypocrites who were said proverbially to sound a trumpet when they performed their almsdeeds (Matt. 6:2). Commenting on the Greek rendering of the clause given above, St. Chrysostom observes, “This is the true character of man to be merciful; yea, rather the character of God to show mercy. … Those who answer not to this description, though they partake of mind, and are never so capable of knowledge, the Scripture refuses to acknowledge them as men, but calls them dogs, and horses, and serpents, and foxes, and wolves, and if there be any animals more contemptible” (‘Hom. 4. in Phil.’ and ‘Hom. 13. in 1 Tim.,’ Oxford transl.). The contrast between show, or promise, and performance is developed in the second clause. But a faithful man who can find? The faithfulness intended is fidelity to promises, the practical execution of the vaunted benevolence; this is rare indeed, so that a psalmist could cry, “I said in my haste, All men are liars” (Ps. 116:11; comp. Rom. 3:4). Lesétre refers to Massillon’s sermon, ‘Sur la, Gloire Humaine,’ where we read (the preacher, of course, rests on the Latin Version), “Ces homes vertneux dont le monde se fait tent d’honneur, n’ont au fond souvent pour eux que l’erreur publique. Amis fidèles, je le veux; mais c’est le goû;t, la vanité ou l’ntérêt, qui les lie; et dans leur amis, ils n’amient qu’ eux-mêmes. … En un mot, dit l’Ecriture, on les appelle misêricordieux, ils out toutes les vertus pour le public; maisn’étant pas fidèles à Dieu, ils n’en ont pas une seule pour eux-mêmes.”

Ver. 7.—The just man walketh in his integrity. It is better to connect the two clauses together, and not to take the first as a separate sentence, thus: “He who as a just man walketh in his integrity”—Blessed are his children after him (comp. ch. 14:26). So the Septuagint and Vulgate. The man of pure life, who religiously performs his duty towards God and man, shall bring a blessing on his children who follow his good example, both during his life and after his death. The temporal promise is seen in Exod. 20:6; Deut. 4:40; Ps. 112:2, etc. Some see here an instance of utilitarianism; but it cannot be supposed that the writer inculcates virtue for the sake of the worldly advantages connected with it; rather he speaks from experience, and from a faithful dependence on Providence, of the happy results of a holy life.

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2. Men who resist authority injure themselves

Proverbs 19:12 (NASB95)

12 The king’s wrath is like the roaring of a lion,

But his favor is like dew on the grass.

Romans 13:2 (NASB95)

2  Therefore 1whoever resists authority has opposed the ordinance of God; and they who have opposed will receive condemnation upon themselves.

3. to cease from strife—or, better, “to dwell from or without strife,” denoting the habit of life.

fool … meddling—(Pr 17:14).

4. shall … beg—literally, “ask” (in this sense, Ps 109:10).

5. Counsel … water—that is, deeply hidden (Pr 18:4; Ps 13:2). The wise can discern well.

6. Boasters are unreliable.

goodness—or, “kind disposition.”

7. The conduct of good men proclaims their sound principles. God’s covenant and their good example secure blessing to their children (Pr 4:26; Ps 112:1, 2).

Faithful Fathering

Introduction: Today is Father’s Day, a day to honor Dad for his special role in the family.

Ephesians 6:1-4 (NASB95)

1  Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right.

2  Honor your father and mother (which is the first commandment with a promise),

3  so that it may be well with you, and that you may live long on the earth.

4  Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord.

Prov 6:20; 23:22; Col 3:20

Ex 20:12; Deut 5:16

Col 3:21

Gen 18:19; Deut 6:7; 11:19; Ps 78:4; Prov 22:6; 2 Tim 3:15

Successful parenting is attempting to raise our children in the fear of God, a three-step process:

I.       Do Not Provoke Your Children.

This instruction, which presupposes the fact of parental authority, tells parents not to use that authority to abuse or put down their child. Parents abuse their authority by making irritating or unreasonable demands on their children, or by making no allowance for the inexperience and immaturity of children. 

Colossians 3:21 (NASB95)

21  Fathers, do not exasperate your children, so that they will not lose heart.

Dan Benson, in his book The Total Man, surveyed a number of families and found that for every positive statement made in the homes there were ten negative ones. We men have an amazing capacity to be critical. We need to learn to see the positive in our children and to frequently praise their strengths rather than continually harping on their weaknesses.

II.    Bring Them Up in the Training of the Lord.

The phrase, “bring them up” contains the idea of nurturing or nourishing. This involves:

A.     Prayer. Praying for your children, especially “praying Scripture.”

B.     Modeling. Values are more caught than taught. While children may not be good at listening to their parents, they never fail to imitate them.

C.     Time. Our children need our presence more than our presents. In a study by Cornell University, it was found that the average dad spends about 37 seconds a day with his small children.

D.     Discipline. Not just punishment, but retraining. (See Heb. 12:6 and Prov. 13:24.)

III.  Bring Them Up in the Instruction of the Lord.

A consistent life is not enough; we must provide verbal instruction and biblical teachings for our children. The phrase “of the Lord” indicates that the instruction is given by the parents, but it proceeds from the Lord. The suggestion is that the Lord nurtures the child through the parents. We must recognize that God has given us the responsibility to provide for our children in a physical, an emotional, and a spiritual sense. According to Deuteronomy 6

one of the best ways to do this is by spontaneously sharing Bible verses with your children as the occasion demands, as you sit at home and as you drive down the road, when you get up and when you go to bed.

There are little eyes upon you, and they are watching night and day;

There are little ears that quickly take in every word you say;

There are little hands all eager to do everything you do.

And a little boy who’s dreaming of the day he’ll be like you.

You’re the little fellow’s idol, you’re the wisest of the wise,

In his little mind about you, no suspicions ever rise;

He believes in you devoutly, holds that all you say and do,

He will say and do in your way when he’s grown up to be like you.

There’s a wide-eyed little fellow who believes you’re always right,

And his ears are always open and he watches day and night;

You are setting an example everyday in all you do,

For the little boy who’s waiting to grow up to be like you.

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[1]Radmacher, E. D., Allen, R. B., & House, H. W. (1999). Nelson's new illustrated Bible commentary (Pr 20:3-7). Nashville: T. Nelson Publishers.

[2]MacDonald, W., & Farstad, A. (1997, c1995). Believer's Bible Commentary : Old and New Testaments (Pr 20:3). Nashville: Thomas Nelson.

cf. confer, compare

[3]Walvoord, J. F., Zuck, R. B., & Dallas Theological Seminary. (1983-c1985). The Bible knowledge commentary : An exposition of the scriptures (1:948). Wheaton, IL: Victor Books.

157 Vid., Fleischer in Levy’s Chald. Wörterbuch, i. 426.

[4]Keil, C. F., & Delitzsch, F. (2002). Commentary on the Old Testament. (6:294-296). Peabody, MA: Hendrickson.

nrsv New Revised Standard Version

njb New Jerusalem Bible

tev Today’s English Version

cev Contemporary English Version

reb Revised English Bible

rsv Revised Standard Version

niv New International Version

[5]Reyburn, W. D., & Fry, E. M. (2000). A handbook on Proverbs. UBS handbook series; Helps for translators (416). New York: United Bible Societies.

[6]Henry, M. (1996, c1991). Matthew Henry's commentary on the whole Bible : Complete and unabridged in one volume (Pr 20:3). Peabody: Hendrickson.

[7]Radmacher, E. D., Allen, R. B., & House, H. W. (1997). The Nelson study Bible : New King James Version. Includes index. (Pr 20:4). Nashville: T. Nelson Publishers.

[8]The Pulpit Commentary: Proverbs. 2004 (H. D. M. Spence-Jones, Ed.) (383). Bellingham, WA: Logos Research Systems, Inc.