Grace Confronts the Lies We Believe - Sermong

For most of us, the number one rule is loyalty and the second to it is consideration—it’s your friends being concerned about you and pro-active to help you if you need it. So if you are coming into your house carrying bags of groceries and a baby, you expect that your spouse, family member or friend will offer to carry some of the load. That is just basic consideration.

The other rules of relationships are part of being loyal, too. Rules like . . .

For most of us, the number one rule is loyalty—it’s your friends supporting you and being with you no matter what. So if someone is talking bad about you behind your back, and you have friends who hear it? They should not join in. That’s like rule #1. Rule #2 is they should defend you.

The other rules of relationships are part of being loyal, too. Rules like . . .

Don’t spill each other’s secrets. This is a non-negotiable. You did not make friends just to have your deepest darkest stuff show up all over some group text or Snapchat group.

Another rule? If you’re having a disagreement with someone, your friends have to side with you. That’s just how it works. I am not saying that is right, it is just what we expect.

These are the basics. It’s like friendship kindergarten. But there’s one more rule that is even higher, deeper and more important in girl code or bro code that everyone knows: You will tell me if I really look fat in these pants. We call this the, “I love you so much I will not let that lie you believe ruin you or someone else.”

talking to, flirting with, or hanging around someone I’m talking to (or thinking about talking to, or crushing on but probably never going to talk to). If you violate this rule, it’s war.

In high school I will never forget when my girlfriend and group of friends crossed the line and violated this code. There was a dance at my school called the Sadie Hawkins Dance. I was sixteen. The cool guy. My girlfriend and I were dressed to the nine’s along with all our friends. We did what every teenager did back then, we took the glamour photo.

I did not know it then but discovered later when the picture came out that someone forgot to zip their bridges up before taking the picture. Yeah, that was me. And there it was forever photographed in a glamour shot.

Shocker: I was upset. Not like, fire-breathing mad but I was pretty upset that no one told me about this. But when I confronted my girlfriend and friends, did they apologize? No. They laughed and said they knew the whole time but did not want to tell me. In other words, they did not care enough about me to tell me the truth. Basically, they were saying, we don’t mind letting you not see the truth about yourself and get a laugh out of it.

Shocker: I was mad. Like, fire-breathing mad. But when I confronted her, did she apologize? Did she show remorse? Did she back off my crush? No. Her response was pretty simple: Sorry you’re upset, but I really like him. Basically she was saying, sorry . . . but she wasn’t. In other words, sorry . . . not sorry.

gut to make a move.

Tension

You’ve probably been there, too. We all have those moments in life when someone should have told us but did not. They should have told us we our fly was down, that make up choice made us look like a clown, that we had drank too much, that we were throwing ourselves on that boy or that girl. Eventually if they are good friend they may tell you later, and they may risk some relational damage to tell you the truth but usually, you talk it out, hug it out, and then move on.

Then there are those friends that will tell you in the moment, moments. And it’s in these moments—when someone will tell you, “Your fly is down. Zip it.” or, “Your acting nuts, you got to stop.” Usually, they are willing to do this it is not a sign of their disdain towards you but of their love for you - grace confronts the lies we believe about ourselves and others.

Let’s be real here. Chances are very good that everyone single one of us in this room is either holding onto a lie that you believe about God, about yourself or about someone else. In fact, I would say it is so common that we generally don’t know we are holding onto a lie until it is too late. They just become part of our life.

It is like in the movie the Lord of the Rings when Sam Wise is crying in brokenness and he says to Frodo, “The Ring Has Changed You.” They were in one of the darkest moments of the movie and Sam confronts his friend that this storm is not just brewing around them, it is brewing inside of him. Sam in the movie is the truest of friends because he cares enough to confront.

The lies we believe usually start small. You stay up late and watch the rated R movie or Netflix show that you know you should not watch. Then the next day you get a flat tire and you think, “God is punishing me.” You fix the tire then you get a call from your mother and she says she is ill and going to the hospital and you think, “God is unrelenting, why, o why did I watch that movie. Then on your way to the hospital you get a text from your bank that someone stole your identity and your bank account is empty and you think, “God is bankrupting me so I will never, ever again do this, O the pain.” Then your girlfriend calls or wife calls and says they are ready to end the relationship and you think, “O’God if only I had not watched that dumb Rated R movie.”

I know that I am over exaggerating but this happens to each of us. What if the flat was because you ran over a nail two days before, and your mom got ill because she was at Macy’s and drank from the same straw as your kid brother who had the flu, and your identity was stollen because people are evil and greedy, and your girlfriend or spouse are upset with you not because of your movie watching but because of your poor relationship skills. What if God did none of this and the whole time still loved you deeply.

Or maybe the lie you are holding onto is because of a direct hit on your character. Maybe one of your co-workers, friend, or family member has pulled the “all our problems are your fault.” Our department is behind and it is all your fault, our marriage is on the rocks and if only you would…The “it is all your fault” charge, if you are not careful can leave you in a deep, dark pit, believing the nastiest things about yourself.

People, listen up: no one has his act totally together. Nothing is every completely your fault, if you start to believe this lie you will become a daily martyr. It will leave you empty, resentful and eventually distant from people because you don’t want anything else be “your fault.”

You’ve probably been there, too. We all have those moments in life when someone says something that hurts us. Eventually they realize they hurt you, you talk it out, hug it out, and then move on.

Truth

Or maybe as a child, your parents said something to you that shaped how you saw yourself, a family member, even worse God. My mom told me growing up that I always needed to have clean underwear because God forbid something were to happen to me and the police found me they would report my dirty under garments. So the other day, I chuckled a little because I heard this rap song that the lyric said, “My music's so loud, I'm swangin' They hopin that they gonna catch me ridin' dirty.” I thought, that could have been written by mom!

Seriously, if your parent tells you that you never work hard, or that you do things half-way then you will spend your whole life believing that everything that has happened to you is because you don’t try hard enough, work long enough, stay overtime enough.

Or maybe you grew up with parents, teachers or coaches who taught you that “life is supposed to be fair.” “Most of us were taught from day one about the importance of fairness. Parents, teachers, coaches, and clergy repeatedly told us to make sure that we acted as fairly as possible in dealing with other people. If one child gets three cookies, then the other one should get three as well. If one child gets to watch his favorite television program for half an hour, then the other child gets to do the same. If one child gets to go first this time, then the “other child gets to go first the next time. Life should be fair. At least we are told that is the way it should be.

I’m all for things being fair, but I wonder if a lot of us don’t come out of childhood and adolescence with a misguided belief that life will always be fair, which it most definitely is not. I’m only half joking when I say I wish my mom and step-dad had, on occasion, given my sister and me unequal pieces of pie and said, “Hey, we love you guys all the same, but life isn’t fair sometimes, and we want you to learn to deal with that early on.”

This “fair life” lie is not only pervasive but also it is destructive. It’s wishful thinking, and it’s damaging. Day-to-day reality provides frequent, painful reminders that life isn’t always going to be fair.

A young man is killed by a drunk driver who walks away without a scratch. Drug dealers and pornography peddlers make millions and live in mansions. A less qualified applicant gets the job. The best runner is tripped from behind by another and loses the race. Our response is, “It isn’t fair,” as if labeling it that way somehow changes things. King Solomon, thousands of years ago, understood life’s unfairness when he noted that the wicked sometimes get what the righteous deserve and the righteous sometimes get what the wicked deserve.

Ecclesiastes 3:16 TLV

I have also seen under the sun: In the place of justice there was wickedness, and in the place of righteousness there was wickedness.

Ecclesiastes 1:15 TLV

What is crooked cannot be made straight. What is missing cannot be counted.

Solomon says life is vanity, we see life is unfair. That seems a fair application.

Ecclesiastes 1:14 TLV

I have seen all the deeds done under the sun; and behold, all is meaningless and chasing after the wind.

Unfairness is hard to accept and the lie that says, “life must be fair” can cripple our relationship with God, Other People and ourselves. It can destroy any of these relationships.

To sum it up, we believe lies

I’m all for things being fair, but I wonder if a lot of us don’t come out of childhood and adolescence with a misguided belief that life will always be fair, which it most definitely is not. I’m only half joking when I say I wish my mom and dad had, on occasion, given my brothers and me unequal pieces of pie and said, “Hey, we love you guys all the same, but life isn’t fair sometimes, and we want you to learn to deal with that early on.”

About God

About Others

About Ourselves

If your wondering if you believe lies about God, other or yourself here is a handy little quiz:

When things go wrong do you think God is punishing you for your sins?

When things go right do you think God must be pleased with You?

Do you blame others and say it is “all their fault?

Do you get mad because “life is not fair?”

Do you often think your unhappiness is someone else’s fault?

Do you let yourself off the hook easily when you mess up?

People owe me for all I do for them?

If you answered “yes” to any of these questions, you officially are believing a lie.

Have you ever thought about this: holding on to this lie could destroy the most important relationships in your life. Here is the good news, God does not want you to stay stuck in a lie, He wants you to be free from it. He wants to set you free and in order to do so he will confront your conscious in grace and with truth.

Excerpt From: Dr. Chris Thurman. “The Lies We Believe.” Apple Books. https://itunes.apple.com/us/book/the-lies-we-believe/id607379521?mt=11

Truth

I am sure you are not surprised to hear this but as long as there have been people, there are have been lies we believe about God, ourselves and others. Eve and Adam believed God was holding out on them and they could be like God. Cain believed that everything had to always go his way. Yet, God always intervenes into our lies that we believe about ourselves and lies we believe about other. And, this is grace because it sets us free from those lies that will diminish and destroy our faith, family and friendship. And the Bible actually addresses this very issue.

About, 2,000 years ago Yeshua was laying the foundation for what would become a worldwide movement. He was setting the DNA for A radical return to Jewish faith that was centered around Him and Him alone. And Yeshua was recruiting disciples.However, Yeshua was recruiting disciples from the other side of the wall. Literally, he was recruiting women to be his disciples. Something no Rabbi or respected religious leader would do during that period of time.

Preaching the Word: Luke, Vol. 1—That You May Know the Truth Mary “May the words of the Torah be burned, they should not be handed over to women” (j. Sota, 10a, 8), and “The man who teaches his daughter the Torah teaches her extravagance” (Sota, 3, 4; cf. B. Sota, 21b.)

We need to always remember that Yeshua was not trying to fit within the Judaism of his day, He was trying to reform Judaism and bring it back to what it should be and that meant changing the way women were treated.

In our story in , Yeshua comes comes to the home of two sisters, Mary and Martha.I have heard this story used so many times to brow beat women, especially wives.

Martha is portrayed as a ruthless and unrelenting, even nagging housewife whose spiritual dullness can only be cured by becoming more like a Mary who is quiet, learning and in a posture of submission. Most men wag their fingers at women and say, “Don’t be a Martha, you need to be a Mary.”

But, Mary and Martha could as easily be Tom and Chuck. Chuck could be busy grilling and Tom having a bromance with Yeshua. The point of the story is not gender. What happens though is by telling the story this way it creates this religious lie that “All my problems are due to me being a busybody.” Or, equally dangerous is the self-righteous lie that says, “God I know you are pleased with because I am not like that woman who is always doing domestic duties, I fast twice a week, spend three hours in prayer, and go to Bible study as often as possible.”

I want to challenge us to see this story as trying to probe something deeper than just gender, than just the active life with all of its cares and labours as compared to the contemplative life of prayer and quiet and study. I want to challenge us to see how grace confronts Martha with a lie she believes about Yeshua, a lie she believes about herself and a lie she believes about Mary.

Grace not only accepts us, heals us and welcomes us. Grace also refuses to allow us to go on living in the lies we believe. The only way to break free from the lies we believe about God, ourselves and others is to allow Grace to show us the truth.Being a able to spot a lie is the first step to experiencing freedom. The ultimate way to be set free is to experience God’s grace for you.

Luke 10:38 TLV

Now while they were traveling, Yeshua entered a certain village; and a woman named Martha welcomed Him into her house.

Luke 10:38

Background on Martha.

Her name means “Lordess” and it is Aramaic. It is the female equivalent of “Lord” like in Mar-a-natha the Mar means Lord as in come quickly Lord.

She is from Bethany, a small village in Israel. She is the sister of Mary and Lazarua who Yeshua raised from the dead.

She is also well know for what we call the other great confession. Remember Peter’s great confession in

Luke 9:20–21 TLV

Then He said to them, “But who do you that say I am?” Then Peter answered and said, “The Messiah of God.” But Yeshua warned them, and He ordered them not to tell this to anyone,

Martha says in

John 11:27 TLV

She says to Him, “Yes, Lord, I believe that you are the Messiah, Ben-Elohim who has come into the world.”

Martha is propped up, theologically, as high as Peter the most pre-eminent of the disciples. That is pretty good, I would say.

There is an ever greater statement made about Martha but maybe it was one that she heard but did not hear. Lies have a way of causing us to hear but not listen. In

Luke 9:18 TLV

Once when Yeshua was praying alone and His disciples were near, He put a question to them, saying, “Who do the crowds say that I am?”

John 11:5 TLV

Now Yeshua loved Martha and her sister and Lazarus.

This is a revealing statement. Martha is named first even though her sister, Mary, will later break an alabaster jar of oil over Yeshua as an act of worship that Yeshua says, Where the Gospel is told what she has done should be told in her honor.”

That is a very high honor but in the Scripture, Martha comes first. Life is not fair. You go pouring out your fancy oil on Yeshua and the other sister still gets named first and your name does not even get in .

What a great statement that Yeshua loved Martha.

Luke 10:38–39 TLV

Now while they were traveling, Yeshua entered a certain village; and a woman named Martha welcomed Him into her house. She had a sister called Miriam, who was seated at the Master’s feet, listening to His teaching.

Luke 10:39 TLV

She had a sister called Miriam, who was seated at the Master’s feet, listening to His teaching.

Luke 10:38 TLV

Now while they were traveling, Yeshua entered a certain village; and a woman named Martha welcomed Him into her house.

We don’t know how many people are with Yeshua at this point. Earlier in chapter 10, Yeshua had sent out seventy disciples and they all came back celebrating that demons fled from them. Then Yeshua rebuked them because they were believing a lie, “That there righteousness gave them power over demons instead of the truth that God redeeming them and putting their names in the book of life gave them that power.” Maybe a few of the guys got offended and left after that. We don’t know.

Luke 10:3

Then Yeshua confronts a religious person who is offended by what Yeshua says and asked “what must i do to get eternal life.” He was self-righteous and Yeshua challenged him with the parable of the good samaritan and was basically saying, “You are lying to yourself if you think you can love God while ignoring your neighbors pain.” Maybe a few more of the guys left after this whole story.

After all who wants to part company with the lie that says, “God’s love must be earned” even that pleasing God while ignoring my neighbors pain.

We expect what Martha does in v. 38, not because she is a woman but because she is the “owner of the house.” Notice, it says “her house.” She probably was either a widow or unmarried and was taking care of her sister. We expect her to be a good host because that was just good conduct, man or woman, in the ancient world.

We could imagine that Yeshua could have as many as 70 guys with him or as few as 12. Either way, there are lots of people in this house and probably outside. Martha it says, “welcomes them.” She wanted to host this group. I find it a bit of a threat to have lots of people in our home, especially for a full meal. But Martha, loved it. It put wind in our sails, so it seams.

But Her sister Miriam, May

Luke 10:39 TLV

She had a sister called Miriam, who was seated at the Master’s feet, listening to His teaching.

This is a bold, daring statement. Think about this, Mary is not the image of the passive, contemplate. Could you imagine her being in this room with all these men. In a culture, that said, “you don’t belong.” A culture that said, “burn the building before you teach the woman.” She is not passive contemplative, “no” she is an active truth seeker.

She is a Rosa Parks refusing to give up her seat just because she is black. She is Betty Williams who led a peaceful march in Ireland to the grave of three children who were slaughtered. Then her peaceful march was disrupted by violence. She did not let the “boos” of her being a woman stop her. She reorganized led a march 35,000 women strong and won the Nobel Peace Prize. She is everyone woman who has ever said, I’ve earned a place at this table just like any man who is here.

She is not just a disciple. She is an agent of change. She is the first generation of women who will see grace in Messiah’s eyes. They will see in his eyes “yes” being a disciple is for you, for all of you, come follow me.

She is the first to refuse the lies. The lies that said:

It is my duty as a woman to meet the needs of men.

It is easier to avoid problems then confront them.

I must have everyone’s love and approval.

God does not welcome me just as I am.

Luke 10:40–42 TLV

But Martha was distracted with much serving; so she approached Yeshua and said, “Master, doesn’t it concern you that my sister has left me to serve alone? Then tell her to help me!” But answering her, the Lord said, “Martha, Martha, you are anxious and bothered about many things; but only one thing is necessary. For Miriam has chosen the good part, which will not be taken away from her.”

Luke 10:40 TLV

But Martha was distracted with much serving; so she approached Yeshua and said, “Master, doesn’t it concern you that my sister has left me to serve alone? Then tell her to help me!”

I bet if you were there, you would see how upset Martha was. She was probably focused “if looks could kill” glares upon Mary and let out some pained sighs as she fussed over the table and loudly banged pots in the kitchen.

You know, she probably was met with some hardy amen’s from the guys in the crowd. Amen Martha, what is this woman doing here anyway. Burn the Torah before you teach it to a woman. I bet in that room, Mary and Yeshua were in the minority opinion.

She focused “if looks could kill” glares upon Mary and let out some pained sighs as she fussed over the table and loudly banged pots in the kitchen.

Martha was believing some lies about herself, her sister and God.

It was her duty to serve the men.

I must earn other people’s love and approval.

Tradition, culture and law define my relationship to God.

God does not welcome me just as I am.

Remember earlier, I said there are just some relationship rules that we expect. We expect our friends to be loyal to us and side with us against other people. Well, turns out that is just another lie we believe.

Luke 10:41–42 TLV

But answering her, the Lord said, “Martha, Martha, you are anxious and bothered about many things; but only one thing is necessary. For Miriam has chosen the good part, which will not be taken away from her.”

Luke

Yeshua’s response is as gracious as it is honest. The double use of her name, “Martha, Martha” is a common way of God referring to some of his most noble of people, “moses, moses” and “abraham, abraham.” But, in love, in His grace he confronts her. It is as if Yeshua is saying, “you think there is a storm brewing out here because of how your sister is violating what you hold to be true but you don’t realize the real dark storm is inside of you.”

Do you notice that Yeshua says there is just one truth here that is on the table. One thing, that Miriam chosen to grab onto. It is not that Miriam is oblivious to the fact that the men in the room were just tolerating her because Jesus refused to kick her out, she knows she is breaking custom, tradition and to some law, she sees the storm just like Martha does but she has chosen one thing, just one thin. It is ground breaking, it is revolutionary:

I am loved and accepted by God completely and totally just as I am.

This was the truth and Yeshua was willing to confront Martha with it because he cared so much about her, that is grace. Grace confronting our deepest lies about ourselves, about others and about God.

Here is what Yeshua knows,

The longer you hold onto any lie, the longer you stay separated from experiencing the love of the Messiah, community with others and being at peace in yourself.

[Hold up a finger trap.]

Ever seen one of these? It’s a finger trap, something you may have seen as a cheesy party favor. If you’re not familiar with this, here’s how it works. First, one finger goes here. Then another finger goes here.

[Use index fingers.]

And then, you try to remove both fingers—and this is key—at the same time. Guess what? You can’t do it. No matter how much you try, you can’t release either finger. And actually, the harder you try to get free, the tighter the hold on you.

But there’s a simple way to get out of this. One side of this trap has to let go. And the only way both sides can get free is if one decides to stop holding on. The most basic way to get free is receive His grace and truth and the one truth that unlocks all the other is this one:

I am loved and accepted by God completely and totally just as I am.

Our story in Luke is not about the comparison between the domestic wife versus the meditative woman. It is not about the difference between being a strong type A personality verses being a meek, mild type B personality.

The text, all of , is really about letting Yeshua in his grace help us to let go of the lies we believe about God, ourselves and others.

Application

Now, I realize many of us, all of us are probably stuck in a rut of a lie and haver been for a while. I don’t want to minimize, pry or anything otherwise. I also don’t want to cause your life to haver more disruptions then you may already have. However, I don’t want your lies to damage your life, hinder your relationship to God, to other people or limit you at any point.

So here is a practical suggestion. It is nothing mind blowing but it will be helpful if you will just try to journal this for a week.

Track Your Martha Moment

Spot the Lie in It

Truth It from the Bible

Declare it Often to Yourself, to Others and to God.

Landing

When you have believed a lie long enough, giving it up can be frightening but in actuality it will be empowering and give you real shalom.When we let grace confront us, we will become the kind of people that Yeshua has called us to be. Content in all things for me and for you.

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