Disciplines of a Godly Man: Friendship
Sermon • Submitted
0 ratings
· 203 viewsNotes
Transcript
Handout
Sermon Tone Analysis
A
D
F
J
S
Emotion
A
C
T
Language
O
C
E
A
E
Social
18 Then the Lord God said, “It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him a helper fit for him.”
8 There is one alone, and there is not a second; yea, he hath neither child nor brother: yet is there no end of all his labour; neither is his eye satisfied with riches; neither saith he, For whom do I labour, and bereave my soul of good? This is also vanity, yea, it is a sore travail.
9 Two people are better off than one, for they can help each other succeed.
10 If one person falls, the other can reach out and help. But someone who falls alone is in real trouble.
11 Again, if two lie together, they keep warm, but how can one keep warm alone?
We all know that men, by nature, are not as relational as women. Men's friendships typically center around activities, while women's revolve around sharing.
Men do not reveal their feelings or weaknesses as readily as women. They gear themselves for the marketplace, and typically understand friendships as acquaintances made along the way, rather than as relationships.
And, of course, there are some who suffer from the John Wayne delusion that "real men do not need other people." Tragically, those who think this way rob themselves, their wives, their children, and the Church because they will never be all God wants them to be.
Such thinking ignores the wisdom of both Scripture and life. Soon after Adam's creation, God said, "It is not good for the man to be alone" (). While this relates directly to the creation of Eve, it is also a primary ontological logical statement about the nature of man, who is, whether he admits it or not, a relational being.
His growth and significance are worked out in relationships. Christ is our example. His ministry was centered in deep friendships with the Twelve, whom He repeatedly called "friends"
(), and there was also the inner circle of three with whom He formed an even deeper friendship ship and to whom He bared His heart.
13 Greater love has no one than this, that someone lay down his life for his friends.
Being a Christian is a relationship with the Triune God through Christ and with His Body, the Church. God becomes our Father; we become eternal brothers and sisters. Relationship!
The warning to not "give up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing" () was,and is, a call to relationships and friendships with other believers. Friendship is not optional.
Men, if you are married, your wife must be your most intimate friend, but to say, "my wife is my best friend" can be a cop-out. You also need Christian male friends who have a same-sex understanding of the serpentine passages of your heart, who will not only offer counsel and pray for you, but will also hold you accountable to your commitments and responsibilities when necessary.
We will now consider a prime example of this kind of friend. A GREAT FRIENDSHIP If there ever was a "man's man," it was Jonathan; and if there ever was a man who felt the need of a friend, it was Jonathan. The Philistines' domination of Israel in that day was so complete that they allowed no blacksmiths in the land for fear they would make swords and spears for the Israelites. In fact, there were only two swords in the entire nation, those of King Saul and his son Jonathan. All Israel was in a dark funk of depression and despair -all, that is, except Jonathan.
Jonathan saw matters differently. He believed that if God willed it, Israel could be saved, even by a few. While others looked down, he looked up and saw a great and glorious God who could deliver him anytime He saw fit. Armed with this conviction and his sword, Jonathan and his armor-bearer attacked a Philistine detachment alone. His sallying words say it all: "Come, let's go over to the outpost of those uncircumcised over to the outpost of those uncircumcised fellows. Perhaps the Lord will act in our behalf. Nothing can hinder the Lord from saving, whether by many or by few" ()
6 “Let’s go across to the outpost of those pagans,” Jonathan said to his armor bearer. “Perhaps the Lord will help us, for nothing can hinder the Lord. He can win a battle whether he has many warriors or only a few!”
7 And his armor-bearer said to him, “Do all that is in your heart. Do as you wish. Behold, I am with you heart and soul.”
8 Then Jonathan said, “Behold, we will cross over to the men, and we will show ourselves to them.
9 If they say to us, ‘Wait until we come to you,’ then we will stand still in our place, and we will not go up to them.
10 But if they say, ‘Come up to us,’ then we will go up, for the Lord has given them into our hand. And this shall be the sign to us.”
11 So both of them showed themselves to the garrison of the Philistines. And the Philistines said, “Look, Hebrews are coming out of the holes where they have hidden themselves.”
12 And the men of the garrison hailed Jonathan and his armor-bearer and said, “Come up to us, and we will show you a thing.” And Jonathan said to his armor-bearer, “Come up after me, for the Lord has given them into the hand of Israel.”
13 Then Jonathan climbed up on his hands and feet, and his armor-bearer after him. And they fell before Jonathan, and his armor-bearer killed them after him.
14 They killed some twenty men in all, and their bodies were scattered over about half an acre.
Assured that God would deliver them into his hand, Jonathan launched a horrifying single-handed attack. It was mano a mano, hand-to-hand, man-to-man. Blood ran to the dust and white bone gleamed in the sun as Jonathan sliced and hacked attacker after attacker, until twenty Philistines lay spread over a terrible half-acre. Blood-covered Jonathan was one tough hombre! Jonathan's heroics put some steel into his people, and a rebellion followed -and some good days for Israel.
But with Saul's subsequent sin and rejection, Israel fell to even darker days than before (chapters 15 -17), and Jonathan was more alone than ever. Even his great heart was affected, as he too trembled before Goliath. There was no one of like mind, he thought -until he encountered David. He could not believe his ears as David called out to the giant: "You come against me with sword and spear and javelin, but I come against you in the name of the Lord Almighty, the God of the armies of Israel, whom you have defied. This day the Lord will hand you over to me, and I'll strike you down and cut off your head ... and the whole world will know that there is a God in Israel.
At last Jonathan had found someone whose heart was in tune with his -a friend.
45 Then David said to the Philistine, “You come to me with a sword and with a spear and with a javelin, but I come to you in the name of the Lord of hosts, the God of the armies of Israel, whom you have defied.
46 This day the Lord will deliver you into my hand, and I will strike you down and cut off your head. And I will give the dead bodies of the host of the Philistines this day to the birds of the air and to the wild beasts of the earth, that all the earth may know that there is a God in Israel,
47 and that all this assembly may know that the Lord saves not with sword and spear. For the battle is the Lord’s, and he will give you into our hand.”
48 When the Philistine arose and came and drew near to meet David, David ran quickly toward the battle line to meet the Philistine.
17 As iron sharpens iron, so a friend sharpens a friend.
14 A man’s spirit will endure sickness, but a crushed spirit who can bear?
What followed was the flowering of a deep male friendship, one of the most celebrated friendships in all of literature. As such, it provides the essential elements and wisdom for all genuine friendships Friendship's Mutuality The initial element in Jonathan and David's great friendship was mutuality of soul.
What followed was the flowering of a deep male friendship, one of the most celebrated friendships in all of literature. As such, it provides the essential elements and wisdom for all genuine friendships Friendship's Mutuality The initial element in Jonathan and David's great friendship was mutuality of soul.
1 After David had finished talking with Saul, he met Jonathan, the king’s son. There was an immediate bond between them, for Jonathan loved David.
Jonathan saw that David viewed life from the same divine perspective (God is sovereign and does as He pleases, and all of life is to be lived for Him).
Jonathan saw that David viewed life from the same divine perspective (God is sovereign and does as He pleases, and all of life is to be lived for Him).
And when he saw this, his soul reflexively clung to David's. Here was a man whose heart beat with his! This is the way it is with deep friendships. It is not that friends think alike on everything. Often it is quite the opposite. But they do share the same worldview view and approach to life.
And this is why a Christian friendship exceeds anything thing that exists between nonbelievers -for such a friendship is founded on a supernatural mutuality of soul.
Marks of a Godly Friendship
In a Godly Friendship we should have Common Ground
The Holy Spirit makes your souls sing the same songs or have the same yearning
You know the same God.
We should know the same God.
We should assent to the same authority.
• You know the same God.
You assent to the same authority
We should be going the same way.
• You are going the same way.
• You long for the same things.
We should long for the same things..
You dream mutual dreams.
• You dream mutual dreams.
We should desire the same experiences of holiness and worship.
• You yearn for the same experiences of holiness and worship.
Jonathan's soul bound itself to David's soul. You know when this happens, and it is wonderful.
Jonathan's soul bound itself to David's soul. You know when this happens, and it is wonderful.
Friendship's Mutuality of soul is followed by love, as the next phrase indicates -"and he [Jonathan] loved him [David] as himself" (v. 1). This is an amazing statement because of its immediacy.
This love did not develop in a month or even a day, but in a flash! It was because David's sizzling soul met such a deep need in Jonathan's -"At last I have found someone who lives like me!"
He really did love him as himself, and in doing so was loving his neighbor as himself -and he was thus fulfilling the Law of God. This love would pay great dividends because honest, unselfish love has irresistible drawing power. David would be drawn to the same love, as we shall see.
14 For whatever boasts I made to him about you, I was not put to shame. But just as everything we said to you was true, so also our boasting before Titus has proved true.
14 Don’t team up with those who are unbelievers. How can righteousness be a partner with wickedness? How can light live with darkness?
In a Godly Friendship there should be Commitment
Jonathan's astonishing mutuality of soul and the immediacy of his love was followed by profound commitment -
3 Then Jonathan made a covenant with David, because he loved him as his own soul.
4 And Jonathan stripped himself of the robe that was on him and gave it to David, and his armor, and even his sword and his bow and his belt.
4 And Jonathan stripped himself of the robe that was on him and gave it to David, and his armor, and even his sword and his bow and his belt.
5 And David went out and was successful wherever Saul sent him, so that Saul set him over the men of war. And this was good in the sight of all the people and also in the sight of Saul’s servants.
Honor
Equality
Vulnerability
What sublime spiritual theatre -symbolism of a noble soul! Jonathan, the king's son, stands humbly in his undergarment, while the shepherd boy dons the prince's robe and armament.
Jonathan's act was one of honor, equality, and vulnerability. To wear the robe of a king was an immense honor, as testified by Haman's fateful request to wear the Persian king's robe and parade through the streets (cf. ).
Jonathan's symbolic divestiture formally abolished David's status as a shepherd and placed him side by side as an equal.
His disrobing was a conscious display of vulnerability and real risk. The Shakespearean gesture meant,
"My life for your life"
-and he meant every bit of it. We may wonder, is such friendship really possible outside the sacred pages of Scripture? After all, these men were spiritual giants.
But consider what happened when a twenty-year-old Anne Sullivan arrived in Tuscumbia, Alabama, to tutor the blind and deaf seven-year-old Helen Keller, who could only utter animal-like sounds and often fell into destructive rages. For weeks Anne Sullivan tried to break through to the girl's consciousness, until the famous fifth of April 1887 -a day Helen Keller described sixty years later -when the girl was holding a mug under the spout while Anne pumped water into it, using her other hand to repeatedly spell w-a-t-e-r -and Helen suddenly understood! She later said, "Spark after spark of meaning flew from hand to hand and miraculously, affection was born."' Anne Sullivan gave almost her entire life to Helen Keller. By ten, Helen was writing to famous persons in Europe -in French. She mastered five languages and displayed far greater gifts than her teacher. Still, Anne Sullivan was devoted to Helen, sitting beside her famous pupil at Radcliffe, spelling the lecture into her hand. Anne Sullivan's devotion never changed. She was satisfied to be Helen's friend and encourager -to make her a queen. The deepest of friendships have in common this desire to make the other person royalty.
They work for and rejoice in the other's elevation and achievements. There are no hooks in such friendships, no desire to manipulate or control no jealousy or exclusiveness -simply a desire for the best for the other.
Dostoyevski had the idea when he wrote:
"To love a person means to see him as God intended him to be."
Do you have the great fortune to have such a deep friend?
Men, are we kingmakers?
In a Godly Friendship there should be Loyalty
Jonathan maintained a fierce loyalty to David as their friendship grew. This is most remarkable, because after the first flush of dramatic commitment he was reminded by his father (no doubt more than once!), "As long as the son of Jesse lives on this earth, neither you nor your kingdom will be established" (20:3 1)
4 And Jonathan spoke well of David to Saul his father and said to him, “Let not the king sin against his servant David, because he has not sinned against you, and because his deeds have brought good to you.
3 But David vowed again, saying, “Your father knows well that I have found favor in your eyes, and he thinks, ‘Do not let Jonathan know this, lest he be grieved.’ But truly, as the Lord lives and as your soul lives, there is but a step between me and death.”
31 For as long as the son of Jesse lives on the earth, neither you nor your kingdom shall be established. Therefore send and bring him to me, for he shall surely die.”
Yet, when Saul maligned David, we read that "Jonathan spoke well of David" (19:4), and on one occasion even persuaded his father to make an oath not to harm David (an oath Saul did not keep). Loyalty is indispensable to the survival of friendship. How many once-prosperous perous friendships have faded because of disloyal talk?
Yet, when Saul maligned David, we read that "Jonathan spoke well of David" (19:4), and on one occasion even persuaded his father to make an oath not to harm David (an oath Saul did not keep). Loyalty is indispensable to the survival of friendship. How many once-prosperous perous friendships have faded because of disloyal talk?
Pascal put it pointedly:
"I set this down as a fact, that if all men knew what each other said of the other, there would not be four friends in the world."
You will never know a deep friendship unless there is mutual loyalty and trust.
In a Godly Friendship there should Encouragement
Constant flight from Saul produced some down times for David. For example, when he delivered the town of Keilah from the Philistines, he learned that the citizens of the town were plotting to turn him over to Saul -and so off to Horesh in the desert he fled, disheartened and terribly discouraged. But Jonathan came to the rescue:
16 And Saul’s son Jonathan went to David at Horesh and helped him find strength in God.
13 Then David went over to the other side and stood far off on the top of the hill, with a great space between them.
1 Thes
1 Sam
2 and we sent Timothy, our brother and God’s coworker in the gospel of Christ, to establish and exhort you in your faith,
18 Therefore encourage one another with these words.
What a friend!
17 A friend loves at all times, and a brother is born for adversity.
Jonathan's encouragement was more than "everything is going to be okay."
"A friend loves at all times, and a brother is born for adversity" (). Jonathan's encouragement was more than "everything is going to be okay." The verse quoted above literally reads, "He strengthened his hand in God." Jonathan pointed David upward to the grand perspective which had first drawn him to the shepherd boy. This undoubtedly involved instruction, prayer, and mutual worship. The Apostle Paul experienced similar comfort from his friend Titus: "But God, who comforts the downcast, comforted us by the coming of Titus ... so that my joy was greater than ever" (, ). This is the "Titus Touch" -the golden touch of an encouraging friend. As we have catalogued the beautiful elements of Jonathan and David's deep friendship -mutuality, love, commitment, loyalty, and encouragement -we have observed that they came largely from Jonathan. But it did not remain one-sided. sided. Repeated mutual commitments began to mark the friendship of these two remarkable men. The apex of their commitment was the mutual promise to care for one another's family, should one be taken (cf. 20:14-17) -"I'll take care of yours, and you take care of mine." They bound their lives and their children's lives to one another. Later, when they reaffirmed their promises, "David wept the most" (20:41, 42). It appears that Jonathan's friendship had drawn David to unexpected heights of devotion. Male friendship has reached Heaven when men make such promises to each other. I treasure a sacred moment when my old childhood friend, married ried and with family, met my wife and me on vacation in the Colorado mountains tains and said, after a late-evening meal, "If anything happens to you, Kent, Judy and I will look out for Barbara and the children." It was a sacredness I gladly reciprocated.
Jonathan's encouragement was more than "everything is going to be okay."
The verse quoted above literally reads, "He strengthened his hand in God." Jonathan pointed David upward to the grand perspective which had first drawn him to the shepherd boy.
This undoubtedly involved instruction, prayer, and mutual worship.
The Apostle Paul experienced similar comfort from his friend Titus: "But God, who comforts the downcast, comforted us by the coming of Titus ... so that my joy was greater than ever" (, ). This is the "Titus Touch" -the golden touch of an encouraging friend.
6 But God, who comforts the downcast, comforted us by the coming of Titus,
7 and not only by his coming but also by the comfort with which he was comforted by you, as he told us of your longing, your mourning, your zeal for me, so that I rejoiced still more.
As we have catalogued the beautiful elements of Jonathan and David's deep friendship -mutuality, love, commitment, loyalty, and encouragement -we have observed that they came largely from Jonathan.
But it did not remain one-sided. sided. Repeated mutual commitments began to mark the friendship of these two remarkable men. The apex of their commitment was the mutual promise to care for one another's family, should one be taken (cf. 20:14-17) -
"I'll take care of yours, and you take care of mine." They bound their lives and their children's lives to one another. Later, when they reaffirmed their promises, "David wept the most" (20:41, 42).
13 But if my father intends to harm you, may the Lord deal with Jonathan, be it ever so severely, if I do not let you know and send you away in peace. May the Lord be with you as he has been with my father.
14 But show me unfailing kindness like the Lord’s kindness as long as I live, so that I may not be killed,
15 and do not ever cut off your kindness from my family—not even when the Lord has cut off every one of David’s enemies from the face of the earth.”
16 So Jonathan made a covenant with the house of David, saying, “May the Lord call David’s enemies to account.”
17 And Jonathan had David reaffirm his oath out of love for him, because he loved him as he loved himself.
1 Sam 20
41 After the boy had gone, David got up from the south side of the stone and bowed down before Jonathan three times, with his face to the ground. Then they kissed each other and wept together—but David wept the most.
42 Jonathan said to David, “Go in peace, for we have sworn friendship with each other in the name of the Lord, saying, ‘The Lord is witness between you and me, and between your descendants and my descendants forever.’ ” Then David left, and Jonathan went back to the town.
It appears that Jonathan's friendship had drawn David to unexpected heights of devotion.
Male friendship has reached Heaven when men make such promises to each other. I treasure a sacred moment when my old childhood friend, married and with family, met my wife and me on vacation in the Colorado mountains tains and said, after a late-evening meal, "If anything happens to you, Kent, Judy and I will look out for Barbara and the children." It was a sacredness I gladly reciprocated.
A GREAT LOSS David was destined to be king, and he and Jonathan planned to be side by side as David ruled. But that was not to be, for Jonathan and his brothers died with their father on Mount Gilboa at the hands of the Philistines. David was crushed with sorrow. In grief he wrote a lament, and commanded that all the men of Judah be taught it. The lament ends with these words: How the mighty have fallen in battle! Jonathan lies slain on your heights.
I grieve for you, Jonathan my brother; you were very dear to me. Your love for me was wonderful, more wonderful than that of women. How the mighty have fallen! The weapons of war have perished! () That David felt Jonathan's love was "more wonderful than that of women" would not have been said if he had a good monogamous marriage! This is testimony timony to the poverty of his relationships with his wives, an inevitable result of the sin of multiplying wives (cf. ).
However, there is no hint of sensuality here, but simply a celebration of a deep friendship -Jonathan's mutuality of soul, Jonathan's commitment, Jonathan's loyalty, and Jonathan's encouragement -elements David would never know in any other relationship. David and Jonathan's friendship shows us what a deep friendship can and ought to be.
C. S. Lewis said, "Friendship ... is the instrument by which God reveals to each the beauties of all others."6 This is certainly what the friendship of David and Jonathan does for us. It reveals the beauties that can be ours in a deep male relationship grounded in God and sets the standard for all deep friendships.
DISCIPLINE OF FRIENDSHIP Today friendship has fallen on hard times. Few men have good friends, much less deep friendships. Individualism, autonomy, privatization, and isolation are culturally cachet, but deep, devoted, vulnerable friendship is not.
This is a great tragedy for self, family, and the Church, because it is in relationships that we develop into what God wants us to be. But deep friendships and friendships in general (close friendships, good friendships, and casual friendships) are there to be made if we value them as we ought -and if we practice some simple disciplines of friendship.
You want to attract Godly Relationships ?
Be a Man of Prayer
We must pray specifically for God's help in effecting inward changes that will expand our capacities for friendship.
We must pray specifically for God's help in effecting inward changes that will expand our capacities for friendship.
And we must pray for the opportunity to develop friendships.
Such relational requests may not occur naturally to the minds of most men, but they are prayers which God delights to answer, as my own experience, and that of many other Christian men, amply testifies. Need some good friendships? Spiritual logic demands that prayer is the place to begin.
Work on Being Friendly
A wise old farmer was working beside the road when a family moving to a nearby town stopped and asked him if that town was "friendly." The farmer said he could not really say.
But the people pressed him for an answer, so he asked them what the town was like that they came from. They answered that it was terrible -the people were rude and small-minded.
The old farmer replied, "That is just how you will find this town."
No matter what our disposition, we need to work at friendliness.
Be consciously positive
Be present in conversations
Be a a good listener
What's more, people will discover they are important to you, which is key to any friendship.
Be in the place where friendships happen.
24 A man that hath friends must shew himself friendly: And there is a friend that sticketh closer than a brother.
We must understand the value of friendship and work at it
If you are a regular church attender but do no more than attend morning worship, you are depriving yourself and the church of the friendship so desperately needed by all. Men, we must place ourselves selves in the ways of friendship: an adult Sunday school class, a home Bible study, a men's Bible study, a men's breakfast group, men's retreats, and, especially, cially, service in some ministry of the church. Women are so much better at this than men. We must learn from them to take the initiative. Work Few of the truly valuable things in life just happen. Usually when they do, it is because we recognize their value and go for it. You can have just about anything thing you want if you work for it. If you want to make a million dollars badly enough, you can very likely do it. If you want to earn a Ph.D. and are willing to pay the price, you can do it. We generally get what we set our sights on. It is the same with friendship. Those who have friends place importance on them. This is why women have more friends than men.
Look for opportunities to affirm one another
If we will work at affirming others, we will have friends. Mark Twain said, "I can live for two months on a compliment." He is right! I have a friend who sends me a note every two or three months that is meant to affirm me and encourage my steadfastness. Compliments have huge buoying power. Be liberal with honest affirmations, and you will have friends.
Listening Even more, men, if you will work at being a good listener, you will develop friends. The epigram "Eloquence is with the audience" is not only true of public speaking but of general conversation.
Acceptance Life is filled with small rejections -a sarcastic smile, innuendos, awkward silences, club atmospheres -so that many walk through the day with their guard up.
Acceptance Life is filled with small rejections -a sarcastic smile, innuendos, awkward silences, club atmospheres -so that many walk through the day with their guard up. If we discipline ourselves to be accepting, others will see the sparkle of our eyes, the tilt of our head, the ethos of our voice -and will know that acceptance is there. An open, accepting soul is like a well-lit home on a cold dark night. Hospitality When we think of the Scriptural command to practice hospitality, we reflexively imagine a feminine mandate -"This is something my wife should excel at, or my mother, or my daughter. Women, hear God's Word!" And they do, much to their souls' benefit. But the command is for both genders. Men, you ought to take the initiative in practicing hospitality (see ), whether you are single or married. If you do, you will not only begin to build friendships, but may even host some "angels without knowing it" (). We must set ourselves against the cultural consensus and pursue and practice tice friendship if we are to be all God wants us to be. God's Word demands a countercultural manliness which is capable of deep friendship. We need to put some holy sweat into our relationships, resist the lure of our architecture with its moats, drawbridges, and descending doors, and overcome the technology of autonomy -the isolating lure of our televisions and VCR's. Most of all, we must overcome our privatized hearts -for Christianity is a relationship with God and His people. God's truth is most effectively learned and lived in relationships. Friendships hold the promise of grace! Food for Thought What can we learn about friendship from Christ's statements about us being His friends ()? "If you are married, your wife must be your most intimate friend." Do you agree, really? How would such a friendship show itself (apart from sexuality) ... grow ... weather the stresses of the relationship? What truths of Christian friendship are evident in the relationship between David and Jonathan ()? List as many as you can. Have you experienced the "Titus Touch" (, )? In your own words, what is the "Titus Touch"? How can you become more like Titus? Why would some men choose not to? What does prayer have to do with your friendships? God won't force someone one to be your friend, will He? What do and teach about friendship? How can you apply these Scriptures to your life? Application/Response What did God speak to you about most specifically, most powerfully in this chapter? Talk to Him about it right now! Think About It! List those whom you consider good or close friends. After each name, tell why you see that person as a friend. Then summarize what you are looking for in friends and why you value such relationships.
Acceptance Life is filled with small rejections -a sarcastic smile, innuendos, awkward silences, club atmospheres -so that many walk through the day with their guard up. If we discipline ourselves to be accepting, others will see the sparkle of our eyes, the tilt of our head, the ethos of our voice -and will know that acceptance is there. An open, accepting soul is like a well-lit home on a cold dark night. Hospitality When we think of the Scriptural command to practice hospitality, we reflexively imagine a feminine mandate -"This is something my wife should excel at, or my mother, or my daughter. Women, hear God's Word!" And they do, much to their souls' benefit. But the command is for both genders. Men, you ought to take the initiative in practicing hospitality (see ), whether you are single or married. If you do, you will not only begin to build friendships, but may even host some "angels without knowing it" (). We must set ourselves against the cultural consensus and pursue and practice tice friendship if we are to be all God wants us to be. God's Word demands a countercultural manliness which is capable of deep friendship. We need to put some holy sweat into our relationships, resist the lure of our architecture with its moats, drawbridges, and descending doors, and overcome the technology of autonomy -the isolating lure of our televisions and VCR's. Most of all, we must overcome our privatized hearts -for Christianity is a relationship with God and His people. God's truth is most effectively learned and lived in relationships. Friendships hold the promise of grace! Food for Thought What can we learn about friendship from Christ's statements about us being His friends ()? "If you are married, your wife must be your most intimate friend." Do you agree, really? How would such a friendship show itself (apart from sexuality) ... grow ... weather the stresses of the relationship? What truths of Christian friendship are evident in the relationship between David and Jonathan ()? List as many as you can. Have you experienced the "Titus Touch" (, )? In your own words, what is the "Titus Touch"? How can you become more like Titus? Why would some men choose not to? What does prayer have to do with your friendships? God won't force someone one to be your friend, will He? What do and teach about friendship? How can you apply these Scriptures to your life? Application/Response What did God speak to you about most specifically, most powerfully in this chapter? Talk to Him about it right now! Think About It! List those whom you consider good or close friends. After each name, tell why you see that person as a friend. Then summarize what you are looking for in friends and why you value such relationships.
If we discipline ourselves to be accepting, others will see the sparkle of our eyes, the tilt of our head, the ethos of our voice -and will know that acceptance is there. An open, accepting soul is like a well-lit home on a cold dark night. Hospitality When we think of the Scriptural command to practice hospitality, we reflexively imagine a feminine mandate -"This is something my wife should excel at, or my mother, or my daughter. Women, hear God's Word!" And they do, much to their souls' benefit. But the command is for both genders. Men, you ought to take the initiative in practicing hospitality (see ), whether you are single or married. If you do, you will not only begin to build friendships, but may even host some "angels without knowing it" (). We must set ourselves against the cultural consensus and pursue and practice tice friendship if we are to be all God wants us to be. God's Word demands a countercultural manliness which is capable of deep friendship. We need to put some holy sweat into our relationships, resist the lure of our architecture with its moats, drawbridges, and descending doors, and overcome the technology of autonomy -the isolating lure of our televisions and VCR's.
Most of all, we must overcome our privatized hearts -for Christianity is a relationship with God and His people. God's truth is most effectively learned and lived in relationships. Friendships hold the promise of grace! Food for Thought What can we learn about friendship from Christ's statements about us being His friends ()? "If you are married, your wife must be your most intimate friend." Do you agree, really? How would such a friendship show itself (apart from sexuality) ... grow ... weather the stresses of the relationship? What truths of Christian friendship are evident in the relationship between David and Jonathan ()? List as many as you can. Have you experienced the "Titus Touch" (, )? In your own words, what is the "Titus Touch"? How can you become more like Titus? Why would some men choose not to? What does prayer have to do with your friendships? God won't force someone one to be your friend, will He? What do and teach about friendship? How can you apply these Scriptures to your life? Application/Response What did God speak to you about most specifically, most powerfully in this chapter? Talk to Him about it right now! Think About It! List those whom you consider good or close friends. After each name, tell why you see that person as a friend. Then summarize what you are looking for in friends and why you value such relationships.