Sermon Tone Analysis

We all know that men, by nature, are not as relational as women.

Men's friendships typically center around activities, while women's revolve around sharing.

Men do not reveal their feelings or weaknesses as readily as women.

They gear themselves for the marketplace, and typically understand friendships as acquaintances made along the way, rather than as relationships.

And, of course, there are some who suffer from the John Wayne delusion that "real men do not need other people."

Tragically, those who think this way rob themselves, their wives, their children, and the Church because they will never be all God wants them to be.

Such thinking ignores the wisdom of both Scripture and life.

Soon after Adam's creation, God said, "It is not good for the man to be alone" ().

While this relates directly to the creation of Eve, it is also a primary ontological logical statement about the nature of man, who is, whether he admits it or not, a relational being.

His growth and significance are worked out in relationships.

Christ is our example.

His ministry was centered in deep friendships with the Twelve, whom He repeatedly called "friends"

(), and there was also the inner circle of three with whom He formed an even deeper friendship ship and to whom He bared His heart.

Being a Christian is a relationship with the Triune God through Christ and with His Body, the Church.

God becomes our Father; we become eternal brothers and sisters.

Relationship!

The warning to not "give up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing" () was,and is, a call to relationships and friendships with other believers.

Friendship is not optional.

Men, if you are married, your wife must be your most intimate friend, but to say, "my wife is my best friend" can be a cop-out.

You also need Christian male friends who have a same-sex understanding of the serpentine passages of your heart, who will not only offer counsel and pray for you, but will also hold you accountable to your commitments and responsibilities when necessary.

We will now consider a prime example of this kind of friend.

A GREAT FRIENDSHIP If there ever was a "man's man," it was Jonathan; and if there ever was a man who felt the need of a friend, it was Jonathan.

The Philistines' domination of Israel in that day was so complete that they allowed no blacksmiths in the land for fear they would make swords and spears for the Israelites.

In fact, there were only two swords in the entire nation, those of King Saul and his son Jonathan.

All Israel was in a dark funk of depression and despair -all, that is, except Jonathan.

Jonathan saw matters differently.

He believed that if God willed it, Israel could be saved, even by a few.

While others looked down, he looked up and saw a great and glorious God who could deliver him anytime He saw fit.

Armed with this conviction and his sword, Jonathan and his armor-bearer attacked a Philistine detachment alone.

His sallying words say it all: "Come, let's go over to the outpost of those uncircumcised over to the outpost of those uncircumcised fellows.

Perhaps the Lord will act in our behalf.

Nothing can hinder the Lord from saving, whether by many or by few" ()

Assured that God would deliver them into his hand, Jonathan launched a horrifying single-handed attack.

It was mano a mano, hand-to-hand, man-to-man.

Blood ran to the dust and white bone gleamed in the sun as Jonathan sliced and hacked attacker after attacker, until twenty Philistines lay spread over a terrible half-acre.

Blood-covered Jonathan was one tough hombre!

Jonathan's heroics put some steel into his people, and a rebellion followed -and some good days for Israel.

But with Saul's subsequent sin and rejection, Israel fell to even darker days than before (chapters 15 -17), and Jonathan was more alone than ever.

Even his great heart was affected, as he too trembled before Goliath.

There was no one of like mind, he thought -until he encountered David.

He could not believe his ears as David called out to the giant: "You come against me with sword and spear and javelin, but I come against you in the name of the Lord Almighty, the God of the armies of Israel, whom you have defied.

This day the Lord will hand you over to me, and I'll strike you down and cut off your head ... and the whole world will know that there is a God in Israel.

At last Jonathan had found someone whose heart was in tune with his -a friend.

What followed was the flowering of a deep male friendship, one of the most celebrated friendships in all of literature.

As such, it provides the essential elements and wisdom for all genuine friendships Friendship's Mutuality The initial element in Jonathan and David's great friendship was mutuality of soul.

What followed was the flowering of a deep male friendship, one of the most celebrated friendships in all of literature.

As such, it provides the essential elements and wisdom for all genuine friendships Friendship's Mutuality The initial element in Jonathan and David's great friendship was mutuality of soul.

Jonathan saw that David viewed life from the same divine perspective (God is sovereign and does as He pleases, and all of life is to be lived for Him).

Jonathan saw that David viewed life from the same divine perspective (God is sovereign and does as He pleases, and all of life is to be lived for Him).

And when he saw this, his soul reflexively clung to David's.

Here was a man whose heart beat with his!

This is the way it is with deep friendships.

It is not that friends think alike on everything.

Often it is quite the opposite.

But they do share the same worldview view and approach to life.

And this is why a Christian friendship exceeds anything thing that exists between nonbelievers -for such a friendship is founded on a supernatural mutuality of soul.

Marks of a Godly Friendship

In a Godly Friendship we should have Common Ground

The Holy Spirit makes your souls sing the same songs or have the same yearning

You know the same God.

We should know the same God.

We should assent to the same authority.

• You know the same God.

You assent to the same authority

We should be going the same way.

• You are going the same way.

• You long for the same things.

We should long for the same things..

You dream mutual dreams.

• You dream mutual dreams.

We should desire the same experiences of holiness and worship.

• You yearn for the same experiences of holiness and worship.

Jonathan's soul bound itself to David's soul.

You know when this happens, and it is wonderful.

Jonathan's soul bound itself to David's soul.

You know when this happens, and it is wonderful.

Friendship's Mutuality of soul is followed by love, as the next phrase indicates -"and he [Jonathan] loved him [David] as himself" (v. 1).

This is an amazing statement because of its immediacy.

This love did not develop in a month or even a day, but in a flash!

It was because David's sizzling soul met such a deep need in Jonathan's -"At last I have found someone who lives like me!"

He really did love him as himself, and in doing so was loving his neighbor as himself -and he was thus fulfilling the Law of God.

This love would pay great dividends because honest, unselfish love has irresistible drawing power.

David would be drawn to the same love, as we shall see.

In a Godly Friendship there should be Commitment

Jonathan's astonishing mutuality of soul and the immediacy of his love was followed by profound commitment -

Honor

Equality

Vulnerability

What sublime spiritual theatre -symbolism of a noble soul!

Jonathan, the king's son, stands humbly in his undergarment, while the shepherd boy dons the prince's robe and armament.

Jonathan's act was one of honor, equality, and vulnerability.

To wear the robe of a king was an immense honor, as testified by Haman's fateful request to wear the Persian king's robe and parade through the streets (cf.

).

Jonathan's symbolic divestiture formally abolished David's status as a shepherd and placed him side by side as an equal.

His disrobing was a conscious display of vulnerability and real risk.

The Shakespearean gesture meant,

"My life for your life"

-and he meant every bit of it.

We may wonder, is such friendship really possible outside the sacred pages of Scripture?

After all, these men were spiritual giants.

But consider what happened when a twenty-year-old Anne Sullivan arrived in Tuscumbia, Alabama, to tutor the blind and deaf seven-year-old Helen Keller, who could only utter animal-like sounds and often fell into destructive rages.