Sermon Tone Analysis

Before I begin my message - I have a few things I would like to give out...

I am looking for the youngest and newest couple married here today - youngest and newest....

Give the nightly devotional book --- to build a strong marriage you need Christ in the middle - start now!

Answer this question: What is the secret of your marriage so far???

I need a couple that has been married between 10 and 15 years - first one up front!

Give Love and Respect - Because right about now you may need to be remembering how to love and show respect to each other...

So far, what has made your marriage great???

I need a couple married at least 25 years!

(First one up front ----)

Answer this question — What is that most endears your hearts to each other???

(Give the Book - His Needs/Her Needs - just in case they have forgotten after all these years!)

LAST - I need the couple in the room that has been married the longest!!!!

What is the best LOVE TIP you can give for a great marriage???

(Give the box of candy)

GREAT MARRIAGES ARE NOT PERFECT MARRIAGES!!!!

IN fact there is NO SUCH THING as the PERFECT MARRIAGE!

A good marriage, a great marriage takes EFFORT, WORK, PATIENCE and COMMITMENT!!!

They do not just happen, and it is not about the romance alone of the gushy feelings alone!

This morning I would like to give 7 LOVE TIPS based on GOD’S WORD to assist those who are married, those thinking about getting married, and even those who were married...

1. MAKE JESUS THE CENTER

First, before we go anywhere this morning, JESUS must be at the center of your home.

Putting the WORD of GOD FIRST in your marriage and a relationship with Christ is necessary as it is

His Love

His Grace

His Forgiveness

His Patience

That are all needed to make things work.

A marriage where spouses pray together, read the Word, and support each other spiritually and a marriages focused on the WILL OF CHRIST for their lives have greater opportunity for success than not.

That is not to say many Christian marriages fail --

WHY?

Even Christians fail to put JESUS FIRST in their marriage.

If when troubles come BOTH PARTIES ask WHAT WOULD JESUS DO? and APPLY IT!

Than the opportunity for RIGHT RESOLVE AND SOLUTIONS is sooooo much easier by far.

WHY WOULD THIS NOT APPLY TO YOUR MARRIAGE AS WELL????

WHY do we think Scripture verses are only about other things than the most important relationship in our lives outside of Jesus???

2. BE HONEST WITH EACH OTHER

Nothing built on a lie can ever last!

Honesty is not just the best policy - it is the only acceptable way to allow a marriage to survive.

When we lie, we deceive others and ourselves and begin weaving holes that become seemingly impossible to escape — how can people TRUST ONE ANOTHER if they are not TRUTHFUL with one another.

Your marriage requires trust and vulnerability - and the biggest thing that destroys that is secrecy and deception - normally because it is hiding something that is problematic to the relationship.

Truth sets free...

Lies reveal what is in the heart - and it truth is necessary to build relationship, trust, and a strong marriage!

In a marriage you exist no longer for yourself, you and your spouse are ONE — that means to lie to your spouse is to lie to yourself!

TO DECEIVE YOURSELF --- you break the oneness in spirit that God has made you ---

From the beginning of ANY relationship — HONESTY IS NECESSARY!

Honesty is rewarded by God!

3. SERVE EACH OTHER UNCONDITIONALLY

Let’s look at the verses in light of each other ----

God has ordained two roles for husband and wives —

The husband is to protect, love as himself, and support the wife...

The wife is to submit to the leadership of the husband in the home...

Both are equal to one another and both have thoughts and opinions that require validation by the other, however, the husband will answer to God for how He leads his wife and family and how He treats them like Christ gave Himself for the church.

Now, we see Paul encourage SERVING one another as CHRIST served us!

Taking the interests of others ahead of our own...

This gives us a picture of SERVANTHOOD IN MARRIAGE!!!

If your the type of person who quotes the BIBLE at your spouse trying to demand something from them, than you have gravely missed the context of the teaching!!!

Likewise - if your husband is endeavoring to lead the family and you fail to follow - are you serving the interest and needs of your husband?

What are we doing in our relationships to HELP OUR SPOUSE???? What do we do to seek their inner needs and physical needs being met??? Do we care about their struggles, fears, passions????

4. BREAK THE CYCLE of BLAME

The greatest cycle of destruction in marriage is when one spouse or both spouses chooses to IGNORE what GOD expects them to do while waiting for their spouse to do what God expects them to do — all the while blaming...

When she does this, I will do this.

When he does this, I will do this...

When she stops hen pecking me about making more money, I will allow her to buy a new outfit.

When he starts talking to me for an hour a night, he can have some thrill at night… etc....

Marriages break down when we POINT THE FINGER at what the OTHER IS DOING because we feel WE ARE DOING MORE.

God calls us to do OUR PART regardless of our spouse doing theirs!

It is called LOVING UNCONDITIONALLY!

Blaming is keeping a record of wrong, a list to hold out...

Love is not seeking its own way or demanding its own desire

But Pastor, It has been this way for years and I am just so tired

Love never gives up!!!!

If we give into the whole withholding thing until the other does their part - it becomes a stand off where everyone is miserable.

5. EXPRESS ADMIRATION FOR EACH OTHER

Who doesn’t like to be admired and praised???? SAY I LOVE YOU!

We praise the Lord who is worthy of our adoration ---

Our spouses are also worthy of our validation, affection and delight!

Rom 1

Let’s look at the Song of Solomon for a minute - the entire book is the admiration and expression of love and desire for a husband and wife...

How much do we express our love and desire for our spouse, how much we admire them and the love you share!

Some things need to be said - don’t let years of growing comfortable stifle you!

6. YOUR MARRIED - ENJOY INTIMACY

That’s right - enjoy the SEX!

SEX is awesome - it was designed by God to bring two together as one - not just physically, but emotionally and spiritually.

You are not two animals procreating, but two spirit beings becoming entwined body, mind and spirit!

IT IS BIBLICAL and it is INTENTIONALLY DESIGNED BY OUR CREATOR!

FOR MARRIAGE!!!

Another version says - don’t defile the bed — remain faithful...

God’s design for man and woman is to enjoy themselves completely in the context of marriage - it is the most fulfilling place as the oneness experienced is so much more than just physical.

God’s plan is not for you to be shamed in the marriage bed, or to deny it, but to come together as one and let the union be a reward of your marriage.

7. DON’T GO TO BED ANGRY

A husband and wife should never go to sleep if they are mad at each other!

It allows bitterness to fester and a wedge to be developed.

This is a Biblical command to believers in general… how much more important to apply this to our spouses!?!

Don’t let the day end until you put things RIGHT!!!!

Your spouse is a part of you!

YOU ARE ONE!!! DO YOU GO TO BAD MAD AT YOURSELF???

You SHOULDN’T!

The WORD calls us to be people of forgiveness, and the family unit and marriage are the closest of relationships where we are challenged OFTEN to put the practice of forgiveness into place.

Even if your spouse does not concede, ask for forgiveness or even want it - we must still BRING IT!

Bitterness and anger are destructive to ourselves and relationships… don’t let it grab a hold of you!