Making Straight Arrows out of Crooked Sticks

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Korean War Veteran 86 - Baptist Preacher - Al Norman. Jeff is son… carpenter - learned from His dad.
Making straight Arrows out of Crooked Sticks
Jeff is son… carpenter - learned from His dad.
The Bible Exposition Commentary Chapter Ten: A Family Affair (Colossians 3:18–4:1)

John H. Starkey was a violent British criminal. He murdered his own wife, then was convicted for the crime and executed. The officials asked General William Booth, founder of the Salvation Army, to conduct Starkey’s funeral. Booth faced as ugly and mean a crowd as he had ever seen in his life, but his first words stopped them and held them: “John H. Starkey never had a praying mother!”

The Bible Exposition Commentary Chapter Ten: A Family Affair (Colossians 3:18–4:1)

For the most part, children do not create problems; they reveal them. Parents who cannot discipline themselves cannot discipline their children. If a father and mother are not under authority themselves, they cannot exercise authority over others. It is only as parents submit to each other and to the Lord that they can exercise properly balanced spiritual and physical authority over their children.

Colossians 3:20 NASB95
20 Children, be obedient to your parents in all things, for this is well-pleasing to the Lord.
Ephesians 6:1 NASB95
1 Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right.
tekna: παιδός: one’s immediate offspring, but without specific reference to sex or age—‘child, offspring.’
Who is he talking to? Not a specific age. Any child still living in the home under parental guidance. Who is paying the bills?
obey your parents
hypakouete
f feminine

ὑπακούω (hypakouō). vb. to obey. This verb means “to obey,” with nuances of hearing and then doing.

Johannes P. Louw and Eugene Albert Nida, Greek-English Lexicon of the New Testament: Based on Semantic Domains (New York: United Bible Societies, 1996), 115.
OBEY WHAT? - in all things,

The only limit placed on a child’s obedience is when a parent demands something contrary to God’s law.

WHY? for this is well-pleasing to the Lord!
Children OBEY. - Parents have a role as well.

Pateres (fathers) should be translated, “parents,” as it is in Hebrews 11:23.

Colossians 3:21 NASB95
21 Fathers, do not exasperate your children, so that they will not lose heart.
Ephesians 6:4 NASB95
4 Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord.
Colossians: The MacArthur New Testament Commentary A Word to Parents

Pateres (fathers) should be translated, “parents,” as it is in Hebrews 11:23.

Pateres (fathers) should be translated, “parents,” as it is in .

father, male parent (Lk 2:48; Heb 12:9); 2. LN 10.18 parents, both mother and father

Pateres:
father, male parent (; )
parents, both mother and father (Heb 11:23)

Exasperate is from erethizō and means to stir up, provoke, irritate, or exasperate.

to cause someone to feel resentment—‘to make resentful, to make someone bitter.’

erethizō - to provoke (challenge) v. — to stir someone to action, as if by challenging them to a contest; sometimes negatively, to the point of exasperation.
to cause someone to feel resentment—‘to make resentful, to make someone bitter.’
21 Fathers, do not exasperate your children, so that they will not lose heart.

Parents can take the heart out of their children by failing to discipline them lovingly and instruct them in the ways of the Lord with balance.

to provoke (challenge) v. — to stir someone to action, as if by challenging them to a contest; sometimes negatively, to the point of exasperation.

If a child lives with criticism,

he learns to condemn.

If a child lives with hostility,

he learns to fight.

If a child lives with ridicule,

he learns to be shy.

If a child lives with shame,

he learns to feel guilty.

If a child lives with tolerance,

he learns to be patient.

If a child lives with encouragement,

he learns confidence.

If a child lives with praise,

he learns to appreciate.

If a child lives with fairness,

he learns justice.

If a child lives with security,

he learns to have faith.

If a child lives with approval,

he learns to like himself.

If a child lives with acceptance and friendship,

he learns to find love in the world.

(Copyright 1982 by Dorothy Law Nolte. Used by permission.)

lose heart
to be disheartened v. — to be or become discouraged or disheartened; lose spirit.
Crooked stick… parenting a crooked stick…
God is using out kids in the process of conforming us to his image.
Using parents in the process of conforming our children to His image.
Only God can make a crooked stick straight…
The Bible Exposition Commentary Chapter Ten: A Family Affair (Colossians 3:18–4:1)

Discouraged children are fair prey for Satan and the world. When a child does not get “ego-strength” at home, he will seek it elsewhere. It is a pity that some Christian parents do not help their children develop their personalities, their gifts, and their skills.

The Bible Exposition Commentary Chapter Ten: A Family Affair (Colossians 3:18–4:1)

If a home is truly Christian, it is a place of encouragement. In such a home, the child finds refuge from battles, and yet strength to fight the battles and carry the burdens of growing maturity. He finds a loving heart, a watching eye, a listening ear, and a helping hand. He does not want any other place—home meets his needs. In this kind of a home, it is natural for the child to trust Christ and want to live for Him.

The ultimate responsibility for carrying out discipline when children step out of line falls on the father as the head of the home. No dad is called to be a harsh, unloving, ironfisted dictator. Nor is he to relinquish his authority and become a passive, timid, permissive parent who fails to provide leadership or exercise discipline when necessary. Fathers (and mothers) are to set standards, provide guidance, and discipline their children with patience, kindness, and love. Paul warns fathers not to “exasperate” their children, crushing their spirits and causing them to lose heart (3:21). The Greek term erethizō [2042] means “to arouse” or “to provoke,” mostly in a bad sense”[124] The idea is that through overbearing actions, a father can push a child over the edge, not only failing to impart wisdom but actually goading the child into anger, resentment, and bitterness! He can do this by being overly critical or by disciplining too harshly or too often. A wise father will balance instruction and discipline with fun and laughter. And he will never tire of telling his children “I love you” and reinforcing it with affectionate actions.
Swindoll, Charles R.. Insights on Philippians, Colossians, Philemon (Swindoll's Living Insights New Testament Commentary Book 9) . Tyndale House Publishers, Inc.. Kindle Edition.
Proverbs 29:15 NASB95
15 The rod and reproof give wisdom, But a child who gets his own way brings shame to his mother.
Proverbs 29:17 NASB95
17 Correct your son, and he will give you comfort; He will also delight your soul.
Proverbs 23:13–14 NASB95
13 Do not hold back discipline from the child, Although you strike him with the rod, he will not die. 14 You shall strike him with the rod And rescue his soul from Sheol.
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