Sermon Tone Analysis

Boundaries

My son has a problem?

Joshua a 25 year old in the last couple of years he had problems with drugs, inability to stay in school and find a courier.

But He doesn't think he has a problem.

The parents are concern about their son.

We did everything and gave him everything but it didn’t help at all.

He is still on drugs …Your right he doesn’t have a problem you do.

He can do what ever he wants that You pay, you Plane, you gave, he doesn’t have a problem because you have taken it.

In the phiscical world is easier to see the bounders.

the fence, the wall, the line, .

It’s the same message ‘ this is where my property begins and ends” It give you freedom.

In this space you can do what ever you want.

But outside of this space you can’t.

The property lines - it shows your limit,

NO is a Boundary.

You are in control of you.

Being clear about your “no” and your “yes” is a theme that runs through out the Bible.

Matthew

The word NO is confrontational word .

The bible says we are to confront people we love saying “no that behavior is not OK I will not participate in that”

The word NO is

The word “NO” is also important in setting limits on abuse.

The word NO is

many passages urge us to say no to others sinful treatment of us

:

people with poor boundaries struggle with say “no” to the control, pressure, demands and sometime the real needs of others.

They think that by saying no to that person they are putting in anger that relationship so they passively comply but inwardly resent .

sometimes a person is pressuring you to do something, other times, the pressure comes from your own sense of what you should do.

if you can’t say no tho this external or internal pressure you lost control of your property and you are not enjoying the fruit of self-control.

Your words also define your properties for others as you communicate your feelings, intentions or dislikes

It is difficult for people to know where you stand when you do not use words to define your property.

God does this when He says “i like this, I hate that”

Your words let people know where you stand and thus give them a sense of the edges that help identify you “I don’t like it when you yell at me” give people a clear message about how you conduct relationship and lets them know the rules about your yard.

People with boundary problems usually have a distorted attitudes about responsibility .

They feel that to hold people responsible for there feeling, chooses and behaviors is mean.

How ever proverbs repeatedly says that sitting limits and excepting responsibility will save lives.

:

prov

Behavior

have consequences as Paul says...

if we study we will reap good grades.

If we exercise we will be in better health.

If we go to work we will get a pay check.

ON the negative side is true also

The problem comes when a person interrupts the law of sowing and reaping in another’s life.

A person’s drinking or abuse should have consequences for the drinker or the abuser.

prov 15:10

to rescue people from their natural consequences of behavior is to render them powerless.

This happens a lot with parents and children.

parents often well and nag instead to let them reap their consequences of their natural behavior.

Parenting with love and limits and consequences produces confident children who have a sense of control over their lives.

This happens with parenting.

´s life.

Choices

we need to take responsibility for our choices.

This leads to the fruit of self-control .

A common boundary problem is disowning our choices and trying to lay the responsibility of them on someone else.

Think for a moment on how often we use the phrases “i had to or he made me” when explaining why we did or did not do something .

These phrases betray our basic illusion that we are not active agents in many of our dealings, we think someone else is in control.

thus releasing us of or basic responsibility .

we need to realize that we are in control of our choices no matter how we feel.

Through out the scriptures people are remained of there choices and are asked to take responsibility for them.

phil 1:14

Fill 1:14

making decisions based on other approval or on guilt brides resentment a product of our sinful nature.

we have been so trained by others on what we should do that we think we are being loving when we do things out of compulsion

Setting boundaries inevitability involves taking responsibilities for your choices.

You are the one who makes them.

The one who must live with their consequences .

Conclusion

Am I powerless over my behavior ?

And if I am… How can i become responsible?

What do I have the power to do?

How can i become responsible?

The bible teaches us that we have to admit that we are moral failures .

Just like Alcoholics admit they have no power over alcohol.

They have no power over their addiction.

Like Paul ...

Romans 7:

:

Romans 7:

This is powerlessness.

John says that we are all in that state and that anyone who dines it is liing.

Though you do not have the power with in yourself, to over come these patterns you do have the power to do somethings that will bring fruits of victory later.

1 - You have the power to agree with the truth about your problems.

This is called Confession.

To Confess means: to agree with .

you have the ability to at least say...

To Confess means: to agree with .

“That is me” you may not be able to change it yet but you can confess.

2- You have the Power to submit your inability to God.

You always have the power to ask for help and yield.

you have the power to humble your self and turn your life over to to Jesus.

You may not be able to make your self well but you can call the doctor.

The Humbling of yourself commanded in the bible is always coupled with great promises.

If you do what you are able, Confess, believe and ask for help, God will do what you are unable to do! bring about change.

1 john 1:9

3 - You have the power to search and ask God and others to reveal more and more about what is with in your boundaries.

4 - you have the power to turn from the evil you find with in you this is call repentance .

This does not mean that you will be perfect .

it means that you can see your sinful parts as aspects you want to change.

this is call repentance .

This does not mean that you will become perfect