Family Matters: Fathers.. Discipline and Instruction.

Last week, we pointed out the most important relationship that a child has in their life while on earth.

Dad and Mom

We talked about the importance leading our families from the front.

Ephesians 6:1–3 NASB95

1 Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. 2 Honor your father and mother (which is the first commandment with a promise), 3 so that it may be well with you, and that you may live long on the earth.

Obedience and Honor towards our parents is an important concept.

it’s the underlying foundation that we lay out for others.

Our children look to us and need us to set this example for them.

I told you that obedience is not something that comes easy for people.

And yet, parents cannot be afraid hold their children accountable.

We must teach them how to move forward.

What are some important guidelines for us?

1. Get in the word today and learn everything you can about the words guidance on parenting. (We will talk about some today)

2. Get down on your knees with your children and pray for their lives

3. Put the phone on the shelf and turn off the television.

4. Take control of your families schedule.

5. Change your approach if it needs changing.

6. Value the church and what it’s doing more than anything else.

Parent: “You’re gonna have to do some work on __________, he just doesn’t want to get out of bed.”

We can’t accept this. We have to lead from the front. This brings me to the subject matter for today.

7% of families will attend church due to reaching a child first.

39% families will attend church due to reaching a mother first.

For dads???? 93%

When you reach a father, you reach a family. Plain and simple.

Fathers, we have a role in our home that is unmatched.

Don’t allow the feminist movements of today tell you otherwise. We go as far as the men will take us. This is by God’s design.

This is why Paul wrote to fathers in verse 4.

Ephesians 6:4 NASB95

4 Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord.

It starts at the head.

it’s up to loving parents to exercise obedience early.

Neglecting will only bring disservice to their future.

Roman law gave the father complete authority to discipline his children through any means necessary to him.

Many fathers were dictators of their home and were being incosistent.

Paul wrote to Christian fathers encouraging them not to administer discipline in this way.

Not as the Romans or even as modern day society says. Why?

Resentment is dangerous and can destroy the family.

As a parent, we should often ask the question, “What would Christ do here?”

What are three objectives that a Christian father must teach to their children?

1. Authority

Genesis 2:15–25 NASB95

15 Then the Lord God took the man and put him into the garden of Eden to cultivate it and keep it. 16 The Lord God commanded the man, saying, “From any tree of the garden you may eat freely; 17 but from the tree of the knowledge of good and evil you shall not eat, for in the day that you eat from it you will surely die.” 18 Then the Lord God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone; I will make him a helper suitable for him.” 19 Out of the ground the Lord God formed every beast of the field and every bird of the sky, and brought them to the man to see what he would call them; and whatever the man called a living creature, that was its name. 20 The man gave names to all the cattle, and to the birds of the sky, and to every beast of the field, but for Adam there was not found a helper suitable for him. 21 So the Lord God caused a deep sleep to fall upon the man, and he slept; then He took one of his ribs and closed up the flesh at that place. 22 The Lord God fashioned into a woman the rib which He had taken from the man, and brought her to the man. 23 The man said, “This is now bone of my bones, And flesh of my flesh; She shall be called Woman, Because she was taken out of Man.” 24 For this reason a man shall leave his father and his mother, and be joined to his wife; and they shall become one flesh. 25 And the man and his wife were both naked and were not ashamed.

Genesis

Genesis 3:1–6 NASB95

1 Now the serpent was more crafty than any beast of the field which the Lord God had made. And he said to the woman, “Indeed, has God said, ‘You shall not eat from any tree of the garden’?” 2 The woman said to the serpent, “From the fruit of the trees of the garden we may eat; 3 but from the fruit of the tree which is in the middle of the garden, God has said, ‘You shall not eat from it or touch it, or you will die.’ ” 4 The serpent said to the woman, “You surely will not die! 5 “For God knows that in the day you eat from it your eyes will be opened, and you will be like God, knowing good and evil.” 6 When the woman saw that the tree was good for food, and that it was a delight to the eyes, and that the tree was desirable to make one wise, she took from its fruit and ate; and she gave also to her husband with her, and he ate.

The most powerful aspect of God’s creation was His AUTHORITY.

Notice the name of God used in 15-25. “Lord God” The Word for “God” is Yahweh

The word Yahweh means “master and absolute ruler”.

Notice how Satan refers to God in .

The first sin of man came when the authority of God was questioned.

When do churches split? Often times, churches fall apart when they question the authority of God’s leadership. If they don’t follow His authority, they will never listen to a pastor.

The same is true in schools, businesses, and the home. The authority of the situation cannot be questioned or everything will fall apart.

Parents, the number one thing our children must learn from our example is that God is the master and absolute ruler of everything.

He is in charge of our home and we live under His leadership and direction.

declares that “the head of every man is Christ, the head of a wife is her husband, and the head of Christ is God.” In that order.

We are the authority of our home. We rule our homes under God’s authority and direction.

When the father refuses to be authority or his family rejects it, everything is knocked out of rhythm.

Recognizing the authorities in our life means we are living under the pattern that God declares.

Fathers, it is our responsibility to be this authority and teach our children how to recognize every authority in their life.

For young boys, we offer our sons a true vision for manhood.

For young girls, we set an example of how women are to be treated.

We accomplish both when we make God the authority of our homes.

2. Discipline

The Romans disciplined too heavily and modern society rarely disciplines.

The example that Christ sets in place that discipline has a high purpose over the lives of children.

Discipline your child to teach them.

Proverbs 13:24 NASB95

24 He who withholds his rod hates his son, But he who loves him disciplines him diligently.

Rod - correction or discipline

Discipline does not take place in order to shame a child or let our anger out on them. The idea is correction. Scripture clearly states that a parent who won’t discipline their child might as well hate them. We are called to lead our children to righteousness. In order for this to happen, we must set a standard of discipline in our home.

2. Discipline your child in order to spare them from sin.

Proverbs 19:18 NASB95

18 Discipline your son while there is hope, And do not desire his death.

“Desire” - Causing him to die.

By refraining discipline off of the lives of our children, we are leading them down a path that leads to death. By holding them accountable, we are set up road signs in their lives to keep their lives from learning from many bad mistakes.

3. Discipline your child to grow your relationship with them.

Proverbs

Proverbs 29:17 NASB95

17 Correct your son, and he will give you comfort; He will also delight your soul.

The assumption that many people make about discipline is that it is negative. It’s not. When done correctly and in love, discipline provides our children a security and a way to trust us.

This verse screams the point and purpose of discipline. We do it out of love.

I want to stop for a second and throw up my hand on this. For some people, the word father and discipline put in the same sentence makes you cringe. It reminds you of the times you were disciplined too severely and in anger by your father.

God’s desire for discipline and the way people get it wrong do not need to confused together. Christian discipline does not work this way.

Christian discipline:

1. Is out of love and not anger.

2. Is thought out beforehand and not out of haste.

3. Is willing to regroup after a mistake and apologize.

4. Is not an end, but a beginning. (In other words, it has a point)

5. Is for the sake of Christian instruction.

3. Instruction

Deuteronomy 6:5–7 NASB95

5 “You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your might. 6 “These words, which I am commanding you today, shall be on your heart. 7 “You shall teach them diligently to your sons and shall talk of them when you sit in your house and when you walk by the way and when you lie down and when you rise up.

Verse 5 was the of the OT.

Love God with all your heart, soul, and might.

Love is the foundation of Christianity.

As parents, we are to teach our children the love of God.

I’ve had some great bible professors in my life, but they don’t come close to the adults who taught me the word of God. Roy Gant, Joanna Easter, Layne Kramer, Jeremy Wells, Robert and Terri McMillan. (None of these people were bible scholars. They just dedicated themselves to being a Christian influence.

How do we “instruct” our children?

Quality time.

Commend your children when they do right. Don’t just notice the negative.

Personal Example.

Share with your kids what you are reading.

Teachable moments.

Ask them questions.

Lean on other parents

Built in automatics. (Dinner, Bedtime, To and from activities)

Situational moments. (Trouble at school, relationship issues, family issues, etc.)

Make it a point to pray often.

Pray for and with your children.

Do you regularly lift up your children?

Coach your child.

Put them on the field and allow them to fail. Part of learning is being allowed to struggle and fail.

Parents, this is our duty. If we don’t, someone else will.