Sermon Tone Analysis
Overall tone of the sermon
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Anger
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Analytical
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Conscientiousness
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Extraversion
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Agreeableness
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Tone of specific sentences
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Anger
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ATTN
The action you take determines the future you make!
That’s right!
The action you take determines the future you make.
What you do will determine where you go and nowhere is that more true than in marriages.
SLIDE - PIC - DEPRESSED MAN
Richard said:
Cheating was the worst mistake I ever made in my life.
I don't know that we wouldn't have gotten a divorce, but I felt really bad that I cheated on my wife.
I didn't really want a divorce.
I didn't even really want to be with that woman; it's just that she was telling me what I needed to hear.
I wasn't getting any attention from my wife at home.
This other woman was giving me the attention I hadn't gotten in a long time.
It all felt fine, until right after it happened.
Then I just felt terrible."
Cheating was the worst mistake I ever made in my life.
I don't know that we wouldn't have gotten a divorce, but I felt really bad that I cheated on my wife.
I didn't really want a divorce.
I didn't even really want to be with that woman; it's just that she was telling me what I needed to hear.
I wasn't getting any attention from my wife at home.
We hadn't slept together in about three months.
I didn't understand what was going on in my wife's mind.
I was just really confused.
This other woman was giving me the attention I hadn't gotten in a long time.
It all felt fine, until right after it happened.
Then I just felt terrible."
Statistics tell us that 23% of men cheat on their wives.
Of those couples who experience cheating, 34% of them will divorce after the affair, however, 78% of them will describe their marriages as unhappy.
Yes!
When it comes to our families, the action we take determines the future we make.
And, of course, that leads us to ask this question: What actions can we take that will make for a good future for our families?
And I have to tell you that answering that question adequately can be tricky.
I liken it to backing a trailor.
Occasionally I will be coming down the street of our neighborhood and I will have to stop and wait for someone in the neighborhood who is backing a trailer into their driveway.
If they know what they’re doing, it’s not a long wait, but if they don’t, I just might turn around and go the other way.
Why?
Because backing a trailer is counterintuitive.
If you want the trailer to go to the right, you have to turn the wheel to the left.
The first few times you do it, it ain’t easy.
That’s because the action you take doesn’t take the trailer in the direction you’d expect.
NEED
I think that there is an analogy here for us in marriage.
Handling our marriages is a little like backing a trailer.
Sometimes the actions we take doesn’t have the impact we expect and we end up frustrated and not really knowing what we ought to do.
I think that is really true for husbands sometimes.
I think some husbands have the RIGHT HEART but the WRONG PICTURE.
They were raised in a home where the father was always right and ruled with an iron will and sometimes an iron fist, so they try to dominate their wives.
They really do love their wives and they are faithful, but when that love gets translated to action, the action they take doesn’t create the impact they expect.
But other dads have the wrong heart.
What I mean is they have lost their family’s trust because they’ve been unfaithful and now they suffer the real consequences.
O, the family stayed together but they are in 78% that said their marriages were unhappy.
Now, everything they do is wrong, no matter what they do because they have lost the trust of their wives and their families.
They wonder if there is any hope.
BACKGROUND
That’s why I want you to listen this morning.
I think the passage of scripture we are looking at can show you the right actions you can take to show love to your wife in a way that she will understand and, over time, genuinely respond to it.
If you’ve been here over the last few weeks, you remember how we got here.
In the first week of this series we discussed the foundation for a world-changing home and showed that this kind of home has to be founded on our understanding of God’s love for us.
We cannot love others until we know that we are loved.
Then the second week, we said that a world-changing home has to be holy, reflecting a real difference from the world when it comes to our sexuality.
And then, in week three, we talked about the one factor that causes our homes to be different from the world: that factor was the choices that we make.
Last week we talked about the atmosphere of a world-changing home.
We said that it is filled with the Holy Spirit and charged with the presence of God.
Today we turn our attention to the key relationship in the home.
It is the relationship between mom and dad.
It is the love that is shared between husband and wife.
Read about that love with me:
TRANS
If a man really loves his wife, there are three actions we see in these verses that he will take.
In the first place He will:
D1
When a man loves his wife, he will die (to himself)
WHEN A MAN LOVES HIS WIFE HE WILL DIE (TO HIMSELF)
EXP
EXP
Paul is quick to let us know that the pattern for a Christian husband’s love is the love of Christ.
If a man patterns himself after the love of Christ, he has to give up his very life.
When that verse says that Jesus gives himself for us, it means that he died the cruelest death imaginable in our place.
He gave himself to death so that we could live.
v25 says: Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself for her.
When that verse says that Jesus gives himself for us, it means that he died the cruelest death imaginable in our place.
He gave himself to death so that we could live.
And that sacrificial giving is ongoing.
The tense of the word, “love,” in the command for husbands to love their wives is continuous.
It means that a husband is to love his wife constantly way whether or not they are loved in return.
It means that a husband is to love his wife whether they deserve it or not.
It is complete, sacrificial, ongoing love that loves even when the object of that love has completely rejected you.
ARG
Now, when you hear that, if you are honest, you might have to confess the truth: You might love your wife at some level, but you don’t really love her like that.
You might even say, “I don’t even think that kind of love is possible for me.”
Well, point well taken.
It isn’t.
That’s why, before husbands are told to love their wives like Christ loved the church in v25, they are told to be filled with the Spirit in v 18.
The only way we can begin to follow the model of love Christ set for us, we must be filled with the power of the Holy Spirit.
APP
Now granted: We will never “arrive” when it comes to loving our wives like Christ loved the church.
Now I think you will admit when you hear about this kind of sacrificial love that it is rare in our homes—even those homes that are led by Christ-followers.
Why is that?
Well, I believe it is because, instead of following the example of Christ we have followed the example of our dads.
We watched our own father who was an angry intimidator.
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