Sermon Tone Analysis

Peter Drucker offers insightful guidance to leadership.

"The trumpet that sounds a clear sound of the organizations' goals."

His five requirements for this task are amazingly reliable and useful for those who dare to lead:

(1) a leader works;

(2) a leader sees his assignment as responsibility rather than rank or privilege;

(3) a leader wants strong, capable, self-assured, independent associates;

(4) a leader creates human energies and vision;

(5) a leader develops followers' trust by his own consistency and integrity.

Let me come out initially and firmly that the role of a husband is to be the leader.

But with that, are you a good leader of this God ordained and sacred union?

Did you know that this leadership is unavoidable.

Ephesians 5

The grass withers the flower fades but the word of our God stands forever.

The Indicative

Responsibility

Service and Sacrifice

The first thing we will uncover today is the importance of understanding the statement of fact that husbands lead.

The second thing we will explore is the differences between, rule, relaxation, and responsibility.

The final characteristics of leadership will be considered looking at the greatest leader of all.

Thesis: Though the pattern of this world coupled with the darkness of sin cause us to misunderstand the nature of headship, it is the truth of scripture and the power of the Holy Spirit that will open our eyes to the truth and picture of Christ and His church.

I.

The Indicative

- The Husband IS the head of the Wife.

A. The husband is the head of the wife.

Paul is not saying here that he wants husbands to be the head of the wife.

He did not say … for a husband is supposed to be the head of the wife or I want husbands to be the head of the wife.

Super important to get this.

You are now whether you want it or not, you are the head of the wife no matter what you or your wife might think.

The is not wish or a hope or even a command.

It is a statement of fact.

B. Again you are right now the leader the head of the household.

So in light of this, … listen up, it is not a matter of whether you are or you aren’t being a leader.

It is whether you are a good one or a bad one.

Even if you decided to let your wife be the “leader,” you have decided to lead by letting your wife lead.

And no matter what she does, you are still going to be held responsible even if she was the one who led.

You cannot escape the fact that you are the head.

If you get this, it will be revolutionary for you.

C.

So no more talk about how one day you will be the head of the household.

Or telling someone that you need to be the head of your household.

Or you were not the head of your household when you decided that.

You laid down your headship when you made that decision.

To say things like this is to simply slap the wrist of a man and let him off a hook that he can never be let off of.

D.

Even if many will classify a marriage as the wife “wearing the pants in the family,” she is not leading the family you are.

And you have chosen to lead by having her make the decisions, but it was your decision as the head to do it.

You cannot escape leadership and the Lord is holding you responsible for your home.

But, she made all of the decisions.

So… it was your decision to have it so.

You are still responsible for your home.

The Lord is holding you responsible.

But I did not know that… if you are listening, you know it now.

The scriptures clearly declare it.

II.

Responsibility

-Responsibility: not rule or relaxation, not abuse or abjugation.

A. Now let’s turn the corner a bit…when it comes to leadership, it needs to be seen in the light of responsibility not rule.

If we truly understand the role of a leader in the scriptures, we find that leadership is not the power to get everyone to do what you want them to do.

Some in our culture it may seem that way, the the scriptures say otherwise.

Husbands, the Lord has made you the head and leader of the family because he is going to hold you responsible for it.

Responsible.

B. As a general rule, I do hold every husband responsible for everything that happens in the home… even if it is the wife and children who sin.

There is a difference between me holding the Husband guilty and holding him responsible.

Once again it is customary for me to hold husbands completely responsible for all problems and many husbands will immediately respond… “that’s not fair.”

Remember I said that responsibility is different from guilt.

C.

Here is an example I use for this… If a woman is unfaithful she indeed carries the guilt of her sin, not the husband.

If she does this, then the husband is not guilty.

But he is still responsible.

This is where I think the it’s not fair interjection comes… The wife is guilty, but the husband is responsible.

That’s how it works.

D. Another example, It’s is a new basketball season and all throughout the season all the talented and gifted players have a bad attitude, quit on their teammates, play with little effort, get thrown out of games, complain about their contracts, give up every time the game is close and finish dead last with the worst record in team history.

How will this play out at the end of the season?

The coach gets fired.

Why?

Because the coach is responsible for all aspects of the team on the floor.

He is the leader.

No doubt all of the players will carry the guilt and shame for their effort and performance for the year.

But the coach is completely responsible.

So again, the players are guilty, but the coach is responsible, and the front office will make sure of it.

- The coach needed to figure out a way to change things.

The husband needs to figure out a way to change things.

He needed to take care of business so that the wife was not seduced by another man… or sought out another man.

Take care of business before it comes to this.

Responsibility.

You gotta protect and motivate your family to all godliness and good works.

You are responsible.

E. If we do not understand the dynamic of leadership meaning responsibility of the husband, then the authority given has absolutely no meaning.

In many cases it becomes tyrannical, oppressive, controlling, commanding, and a dictatorship.

Many times the hesitancy of women to submit to their husband is because he does not understand biblical leadership and does not understand what it means to be a responsible leader.

Therefore, a husband is seen to be weak and careless or a firmly demanding tyrant.

This kind of behavior does open the wife and children up to all kinds of sinful behavior such as unfaithfulness, indifference, bad attitudes, rebellious and promiscuous behaviors.

F. I once knew a pastor who was careless in nurturing his wife and his family and would be harshly demanding when he needed things done.

He believed that he was the head of the household and it was his right to do this.

He refused to care and love them in the way they needed.

Last I heard, now, his kids are hard hearted and want nothing to do with him, He is divorced and remarried and his current wife consistently makes passes at other men in the church.

This is a great example of misunderstanding responsibility.

G. Understand that our leadership means responsibility, not rule, or relaxation.

Failure to do this opens your wife and children to be deceived by the sinful ideologies and temptations of the world.

You are not protecting them from everything that desires to destroy your family and a husband who is not being responsible is exactly the open door they are looking for.