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Illustration-
An old story tells us about a man who asked three stone masons what they were doing.
The first man said he was laying bricks.
The second man described his work as building a wall.
But it was the third man who explained genuine concern for his work.
He said, "I am raising a great cathedral."
Ask this same question to a group of fathers concerning their role in the family, and you would get many contrasting answers.
One father might say, "I am supporting my family."
Another father might see his role differently and say, "I am raising children."
One father sees his responsibility to put food on the table, while the other sees his responsibility as participating in the shaping of his child's life.
Fathers have great power to shape the emotional, psychological and spiritual health of their children.
A recent Reader's Digest article called "Life without Father" shared some informing words on the lasting influence of a father on the lives of his children.
The article explained, "In the early years more than two-thirds of all children prefer to play with their fathers.
Playing with a father is very important in teaching children the importance of self-control. . .
Children who roughhouse with their fathers quickly learn that biting, kicking and other forms of physical violence are not acceptable. . .
Several studies have found that a father's presence is one of the determiners of girls' proficiency in mathematics.
An astonishing 26-year study found that the most important childhood factor in developing empathy was the father's involvement in child care!"
This passage today speaks of the immeasurable impact of the Father on the hearts and lives of his children.
A Few general things to understand before we come to proverbs.
The book of proverbs if we had to summarize it into one statement would be wisdom, and the package that wisdom comes in is advice from a Father to a Son.
Like every good father will do..
In the book of proverbs, Solomon, the wisest man who has ever lived is giving general godly wisdom to his son.
1. Proverbs are general statements of godly wisdom.
What we find here are not specific guarantees, they are general truths that if followed, at the very least will glorify God.
I say that because oftentimes, people get frustrated with the Proverbs because they misinterpret the proverbs as guarantees.
For instance:
.
Proverbs 10
Certainly, we find godly wisdom, but sometimes in this fallen world, we deal with the realities of sinful hearts in people despite being wise according to Solomon.
Restate the 1st point-
2. The wisdom we find here is fulfilled in Jesus Christ.
When we read the proverbs we can become frustrated because living according to the proverbs may seem unattainable, but Christ lived perfectly wise.
Jesus Christ is the embodiment of wisdom.
Therefore, whatever application we make today, we must understand what is going on here
The wisdom of God is in Christ.
Look to Christ for our example.
In the following verses, we have wisdom with regard to parenting.
Its answering the question:
What does it mean to be a godly Father and Mother in the world today?
The first section here
Fatherly Discipline has eternal implications
In verse 13, Solomon gives a negative command.
The first command here is to the parents in the negative.
Don’t withhold discipline from the child.
He is saying “Do not do this.”
He says it this way because, Obviously, there is a temptation to withhold discipline for a number of reasons.
Discipline is painful..for the parent and the child
Discipline takes work.
So it may the we are lazy parents when we withhold discipline.
(Just let them do what they want to do.)
Discipline makes things more difficult at times.
Example.
In public.
We want our children to like us.
Around friends or maybe age has something to do with the withholding of discipline.
Whatever the case, there is a tendency among parents, to withhold discipline from the child.
This is why he gives the command.
He goes on to say, you strike them with the rod, but the result won’t be death.
Now the point he is making here is not “Go ahead and hit them.
It ain’t gonna kill them.”
That is not the point I believe he is making here.
The point here is much bigger than that.
I believe he is pointing to the eternal impacts of giving or withholding discipline.
In other words,
You have to apply the rod of discipline, and applying it lovingly and in the wisdom of God is a means of grace in the child’s life to preserve their souls from hell.
Parental Discipline then is a rescue mission for their soul, and this now has to form the basis for how and when we discipline our children.
Because there is an eternity at stake, we discipline.
Parental Discipline then is a rescue mission for their soul, and this now has to form the basis for how and when we discipline our children.
Because there is an eternity at stake
He goes on to state it positively.
First he command us not withhold.
Not he commands us to apply the rod of discipline in the life of the child.
What is the rod of discipline?
I believe in context, its speaking of corporal punishment.
The act of spanking, but I believe the rod of discipline can and does mean many things.
The rod of discipline may look different as our children age, but it should NEVER go away.
The rod of discipline I believe is the broad term that refers discipline act and office of the parent.
Now let me be clear, this is not a biblical command toward abuse, but it is a biblical command to discipline.
There is a clear difference between abuse and discipline.
And the point here in verse 14, that striking them with the rod of discipline is a means of rescuing their soul.
Its a means of calling out their sin and pointing them to Christ, when it becomes anything more or less than that we are using it wrongly.
Therefore, it is loving to discipline your children and it could be a part of the plan of God for bringing them to faith in Christ.
on the other hand...
It is unloving to withhold, and that goes for everyone.
Parents Grandparents alike- Grandparents, I know that it is a temptation to be the perpetual friend and advocate, but we have to decide which is more important.
Their temporary happiness with you or rescuing their eternal souls from the eternal wrath of God.
It really is that serious.
Withholding discipline may seem like the right thing to do as a grandparent, but its not.
To withhold discipline is effectively indifference at best and woeful neglect at worse with regard to their souls.
Discipline is an eternity shaping action.
Every act of discipline is an act of grace in the life of the child.
We have to see it this way.
Its not being mean.
Its loving them.
Loving your children and grandchildren may at times mean comfort but it doesn’t always mean comfort.
Its not always loving to comfort, especially if we are coddling them in the midst of their sin.
When we as parents or grandparents disobey God in this regard.
When we withhold discipline, we are withholding the grace of God for them in their lives.
God in his grace has placed you as parents in the life of your child and he has given you the authority in His goodness and his grace to shape the children for the glory of God.
So what does God want and what should we desire?
The Goal of Fatherhood
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