Sermon Tone Analysis

Turn to and read Ephesians 6:1-4.

Pray.

I must quickly jump into today’s message if I am to have any hope of finishing at decent time.

(Translate that as, “Finished in time for lunch!”)

12 Biblical principles designed for putting a fragmented family back together or assisting you in keeping your family from becoming fragmented to begin with!

#7 - Connect with the Heart

We are going to give our heart to something or someone.

Our children are going to give their heart to something or someone.

What is it going to be?

Work to find and create family settings that are conducive to connection.

In one sense, the Bible does not give “specifics” about “when” those family times are.

However, Deuteronomy 6:7 gives some definite guidelines:

When thou sittest in thine house (Dinner time?)

When thou walkest by the way (In the car headed to…?)

When thou liest down (Bedtime?)

When thou risest up (Breakfast, Before you all head out the door?)

Work through the awkwardness of reconnecting.

It will be awkward, especially if it is new.

But don’t let that stop you from reconnecting.

The reason why it is sometimes awkward is because the deeper you connect, the more vulnerable you become.

And, no one likes to be vulnerable, especially if they have been hurt or wounded before.

Recently, in a counselling situation, I had the opportunity to share something that may help to keep in mind in this re-connection: Levels of Communication.

This should give some idea as to how well you are doing at connecting with one another and how you can connect with others.

Cliche - trite expressions, greetings, casual conversation, non-invasive

Narration - giving information, reporting facts

Ideas & Judgments - venturing opinions, dreams, hopes, fears, values, etc.

Personal & Intimate - spiritual matters, intimate concerns

With all of that being said, though, may I ask you, on a personal level, are you connected to God on a “heart level?”

Or do you simply have a “surface relationship” with God.

With this, I’m not necessarily referring to whether or not you have accepted Jesus Christ as your Savior - although that is essential.

Just because you maybe have accepted Jesus Christ as your Savior and put your full faith and trust in Him for eternal life, does not mean that, on a daily basis, you have a “heart level” connection with God?

Do you love God will all thine heart?

Is God’s Word in your heart?

Are you seeking God - and the things of God - with your whole heart?

Or is there something or someone else that you have given your heart to?

#8 - Pray with Them and for Them

There are few things that speak to the heart like prayer.

E. M. Bounds, of that passage of Scripture, said...

“That is the Divine cure for all fear, anxiety, and undue concern of soul, all of which are closely akin to doubt and unbelief.”

Aside from God’s Word, prayer is the only spiritual weapon that we have with which to fight a spiritual battle!

Before we move on, I would like you to see these last two principles as they were demonstrated by Jesus Christ during the Passover Supper that He shared with His disciples the night He was betrayed; the night before He was crucified.

Turn to an read John 16:33-17:9.

Jesus connected with His disciples on a heart level.

There, in the Upper Room, Jesus Christ, knowing all that was to come, opened His heart to His disciples, as He had done throughout His entire earthly ministry.

There was nothing that Jesus Christ hid from His disciples.

He kept nothing back from the disciples.

Jesus prayed with them and for them.

As John chapter 17 begins, we witness Jesus Christ lifting His voice in prayer in the presence of His disciples.

He was praying with them.

And yet, even as He was praying with them, He was praying for them.

I wonder what went through the disciple’s minds as they heard Christ pray...

Aside from a parent praying for and with their children, do you pray for others?

Do you pray for the other members of your family - your church family?

Do you come to together, when we have the opportunity, to pray with the other members of your church family?

Quickly, I must give you the last four Biblical principles for putting a fragmented family back together.

#9 - Show Frequent, Appropriate Affection

Physical affection strengthens heart connection so be sure to show affection whether it comes naturally or not.

Affection after discipline is vital to a healthy relationship.

While I am not an expert, parents, allow me to challenge you to not only discipline in love but to love after discipline.

Once you have disciplined them, pray with them and then put your arms around your child and assure them that you love them.

#10 - Don’t Stop Serving God

Unless you have too many ministry hats, you cannot stop serving God and hope to gain ground with your family.

Isn’t it interesting that we’re not willing to give up a TV night, but we are quickly willing to give up a Seed Sowing Saturday, or some other service opportunity so that we can have more “family time?”

Be willing to lose some selfish things and remember that your children need to see your love and commitment to Christ.

Don’t fall for the lie that ministry will hurt your family, unless you are already extremely over-committed (in which case, learn to say “no”).

I will agree: Your family should be your first ministry but it probably should not be your only ministry.

Individually, ask yourself: “Am I serving the Lord through the ministry of my local church?”

There is a generation that is coming behind us that needs to see our love for Christ and our commitment to Christ by serving Him!

#11 - Serve God Together

This follows right in line with the last principle: “Don’t Stop Serving God.”

Why is it that families miss this incredible solution to a fragmented family?

The Apostle Paul knew the joy of serving the Lord together with others.

The Apostle Paul sought to encourages other to serve God together.

In another place, Paul said...

If you were to give up ministry or church attendance, what would you replace it with?

I don’t want to “judge” anyone or make anyone “feel bad” or “feel guilty,” but, do a self-evaluation.

If you don’t come back for the service tonight, what are you going to do with that time from 6-7:15?

The generation to come is evaluating our love for and service to God.

Is it sincere?

Is it just for show?

Is it a hobby?

Is it socially motivated?

Or is it the real deal?

They are deciding right now whether this God is really that lovable and whether He is worth pursuing with their whole heart.

#12 - Recognize That Only You Hold the Power of Choice for Your Family

We humans are incredibly quick to blame our bad choices on others!

The boss, the pastor, the company, the church - somebody else is to blame!

Can I bring this down to the very bottom line?

When you stand before the judgment seat of Christ to give account for your life, you will not be able to point the finger of blame at anyone or anything else when it comes to the personal choices of your life and family!

While this point is specifically directed to families, may I ask, “What about your relationship with God?

Is it fragmented?

What is it that you have allowed to pull you away from God?”

I have heard this said...

You are as close to God as you desire to be.

You have the power of choice when it comes to your relationship and walk with God.

So, we’re done with hook number one The number one way that teenagers destroy their lives - they disconnect from their family.

How do their parents helps them?

They too disconnect and allow the process to worsen with time.

If you find yourself living in a fragmented family, it’s time to reverse the process.

There is hope - hope in Christ and in His Word!