Sermon Tone Analysis
Overall tone of the sermon
This automated analysis scores the text on the likely presence of emotional, language, and social tones. There are no right or wrong scores; this is just an indication of tones readers or listeners may pick up from the text.
A score of 0.5 or higher indicates the tone is likely present.
Emotion Tone
Anger
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Fear
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Joy
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Language Tone
Analytical
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Social Tone
Openness
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Conscientiousness
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Extraversion
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Agreeableness
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Intro
Have you ever met somebody that later you wish you had never met? that your husband or wife or child had never met?
There is a relationship between folks we’ve met and our deepest regrets.
I don’t know what your greatest regrets are, but I’ll bet that you were not alone when the actions that lead to those regrets occured.
Our greatest regrets most often involve people… and it’s not people who are our enemies, but people who are close to us.
Our greatest regrets are usually connected with people we would consider friends.
Think about it.
You may be thinking I wish ???? was here… invite them next week.
Review
A Guardrail is a system designed to help keep vehicles from straying into dangerous or off limit areas.
Guardrails Direct and protect.
Guardrails protect us from something worse and the direct us to the right direction.
Guardrails are not placed in the danger zone, they are placed in the safe area.
They keep us out of the danger zone.
No one argues with the logic of putting guardrails int he safe zone outside of the danger zone.
Guardrails are designed to minimize damage.
Many of our greatest regrets would have been avoided if we had guardrails in place.
Regrets in your finances, personal relationships, careers…
None of us like rules, so when we place rules on ourselves, it can be a little threatening to those around us.
Misery loves company.
Culture doesn’t encourage guardrails.
Culture doesn’t like absolutes.
Culture is happy with erasable lines.
Even though culture will make fun of you for having guardrails, it will mock and shame you when you run off the road financially, relationally, addictions...
Because most of our regrets occur when we are with Friends, Relatives, Associates or neighbors - people we know, ...
We need Guardrails in our Relationships
These are the people we spend our time with… etc.
When we are with FRAN we tend to let our guard down.
The reason - It often is the people whom we know that we have the greatest regrets while with them.
This may sound judgemental, but it’s not, it’s about good judgement or sound judgement.
Guardrails in relationships are about good judgements
There is a difference.
Judgemental is when I draw a conclusion about you and expect you to act different.
It’s about me deciding how you should act, what you should stop doing and start doing.
Good Judgement is about drawing conclusion about my life and how I should act.
Good Judgement is drawing conclusions about ourselves based on wisdom, our past, our present and future.
This is me looking at me and deciding what I can and
Judgemental assumes something about the other person.
Good judgement is about you and me.
ILL - I’m not emotionally mature enough to… do business with… be friends with… It’s on me… about me.
Who we spend out time with is important.
When we were kids our parents were fanatical about who we spent time with.
We all had kids we knew that our parents said NO to being their friends… if you parents never said that - you are the one the other parents said that about.
Back in the day, they would sneak in an read your journals… you would be mad, but they were looking out for you.
I have friends whose parents switched their school… moved away from a neighborhood in the middle of the night.
Maybe they wouldn’t let you play at ??? house… would have arranged your marriage if you had cooperated.
And you thought they were soooo judgemental and now you are a parent and you are 10x worse.
Now you are a parent and you are worse.
Why?
Well, you remember you and your friends… that’s why.
It’s easier now than it was.
You can stalk your kids through ....
You have an electronic surveillance system… social media, phones… You can check your childs pages and find out what they ave been up to.
My mom and dad used to listen to the police scanner to know where he was at all times.
You can read their texts, messages… social media…
By the time you meet your kids friends, you know everything about them.
Your kids, and some parents may say you are too judgemental and untrusting … but you are exercising good judgement.
You now know what your mama knew way back then.
Why is this important?
Our friends determine the direction and quality of our lives.
The same thing that makes friendship wonderful is the same thing that can make them dangerous.
We tend to drop our guard with our friends.
We crave acceptance with out friends whcih leaves us open to being influenced.
Let’s take a quick test...
Did anyone smoke their first cigarette alone?
Most addictive behaviors begin in a crowd.
When you experienced one of your greatest regrets, were you with a friend of an enemy?
Like I said
The very thing that makes friendships wonderful is the same thing that makes them hazardous.
You may not know this, but you are an acceptance magnet.
You are drawn to people and places where you feel accepted.
You may not even realize it, but you are so we have to be on our guard because it’s not always a good thing.
If your own experience hasn’t sow you this, look at this study out of Northwestern University.
Study - Moran Cerf - When two people are in each other’s company, their brainwaves will begin to look nearly the same.
It’s not just behavioral.
When you spend time with people you begin to think like them and become like them and your brainwaves reflect that.
He goes on to say that, “just being next to some people actually aligns your brain with them.”
Look to your left… right.
Is that who you want your brainwaves aligned with?
don’t answer that.
It happens.
It just happened.
I made some sounds and your ears turned them into words and you all laughed.
He goes on to say… “if people want to maximize happiness, they should surround themselves with people who embody the traits they prefer.”
“if people want to maximize happiness, they should surround themselves with people who embody the traits they prefer.”
Why?
Because you begin to think like them and feel like them.
It’s neurological.
So when your mama said don’t hang out with those kids it was because she did not want you to be like them...
This works in the business world.
If you work in a sales organization, your boss will want you hanging out with salespeople who are good … why, because your brain will begin to think like theirs and you will become successful too.
Three thousand years ago, Solomon said this...
Wisdom is contagious.
Hang out … do life with wise people and you will be wise.
How, your brain will align with their brain waves … it works.
A wise person is someone who understands that life is connected...
A Wise person understands that todays decisions are connected to tomorrows outcomes.
Then there is the other part of this.
Bible - a fool was someone who did not live carefully.
They do not connect the dots nor do they understand that yesterday impacts them today ands what they do today impacts tomorrow and their future.
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