The Beauty and Glory of a Godly Wife (Part 2)

We started this series Two Become One, by saying that God has specific purposes for marriage. In Genesis we discovered that some of those purposes were to give mankind an opportunity to share their lives in very intimate ways with their spouses.

Prop: Christian wives glorify God by modeling the church’s submission to Christ in their relationship with their husbands.

Series Title: Two Become One

1. We started this series Two Become One, by saying that God has specific purposes for marriage. In Genesis we discovered that some of those purposes were to give mankind an opportunity to share their lives in very intimate ways with their spouses.

In marriage, two people who were made by God as very different realize that they fit together very uniquely for the purposes of God. Spouses become so close that they are literally seen as one. Christian marriage is meant to produce children though which we pass on our faith. These are to be faithful children that seek Christ and work to subdue the world by working to expand the Kingdom of God. It takes both a mom and a dad and what they separately bring to the family to accomplish that.

Elizabeth Dole was right when she responded to Hillary Clinton by saying, “It doesn’t take a village to raise a child. It takes a family to raise a child.”

Let me add a small side note here. If you are single parent this can make you worry for your child. Remember God is ultimately in control. If you are a single mom, work to make sure your child has some godly men who have some influence in their lives. If you are a single dad, make sure there is some godly women that have some influence in your child’s life.

We also learned that there is a purpose for marriage that eclipses all of the other purposes of marriage. This purpose was a mystery for thousands of years until Christ could come to earth and create a bride for himself. says that the mystery of our earthly marriages are that they are simply to be running illustrations of the relationship that Christ has with his church.

The more clearly our marriages reflect the relationship between Christ and his bride, the church, the more joyful and satisfying our marriages will be. And, it’s only when we understand and seek to live out this truth that we can really accomplish all of the other purposes of marriage.

We understand from Scripture clearly that men and women are absolutely equal before God. Men are not superior to women and women are not superior to men, but we are all made in his image and are all Christians are one in Christ Jesus.

However, while we are equal in personhood, we are different in roles. v.21 says that we are to submit to each other, however we submit to each other in different ways. In this beautiful illustration of the relationship between Christ and his church, man plays the role of Christ and the wife plays the role of the church. The husband has to take his cues from Christ. The wife has to take her cues from the church.

7. However, while we are equal in personhood, we are different in roles. v.21 says that we are to submit to each other, however we submit to each other in different ways. In this beautiful illustration of the relationship between Christ and his church, man plays the role of Christ and the wife plays the role of the church. The husband has to take his cues from Christ. The wife has to take her cues from the church.

The husband submits by providing Christlike headship to his home. Which means he loves and provides for his wife similar to the way Christ provides for the church. In v.22, where wives are commanded to submit to their husbands, it doesn’t mean to be his slave. It simply means that the wife submits to her husbands leadership similar to the way the church trusts Christ and follows his leadership.

What do we know about women who are willing in supportive submission to her husband?

I. A godly wife’s submission is driven by faith.

Submission shows that she trusts God’s divine design for her marriage. v. 23 “For (a preposition denoting purpose, this is why you submit) the husband is the head of the wife even as Christ is the head of the church.”

10. The wife’s motivation to submit to her husband is that she trusts God’s divine design for her marriage. v. 23 “For (a preposition denoting purpose, this is why you submit) the husband is the head of the wife even as Christ is the head of the church.”

v. 23 “For (a preposition denoting purpose, this is why you submit) the husband is the head of the wife even as Christ is the head of the church.”

11. She understands that it is God’s will and design for her marriage is to illustrate the divine marriage of Christ to his Bride, the church. For that to be the case, she understands that her husband is her head just as Christ is the head of the church. She trust’s God’s design. Living in this type of marriage is driven by faith.

12. V.23 is the first time the word ‘head’ is used to describe husband in relation to his wife. So let me give you a definition for headship and let’s think about what headship means.

Here is a definition of biblical headship:

Biblical headship: “In the partnership of two spiritually equal human beings, man and woman, the man bears the primary responsibility to lead the partnership in a God-glorifying direction.” (Raymond Ortlund Jr.- Rediscovering Biblical Manhood and womanhood, p. 95)

When “head” used to describe a relationship between two people, head mean one has a “superior rank” than the other. But that just means that the husband has more responsibility to God for the direction of your home.

13. When “head” used to describe a relationship between two people, head mean one has a “superior rank” than the other. Now before you think that refers to personhood, that men are superior to women, its meaning concerns role.

*For instance, a general has a very different role than a sergeant and a sergeant has a very different role than a private. They all are equal before God has humans, but in the context of the army, it denotes a chain of command and of responsibility. Yes the general has much more authority to make command decisions, but he also has much more responsibility. Every one of these roles and ranks are essential to having a successful army. Those with responsibility must lead toward the army’s best interest.

Corporations are the same way. There must be a CEO that makes crucial decisions about the direction of the company. If the company fails, he gets the blame. It’s his job to lead the company in the best interest of the company.

The same is true in the family. There must be someone who has ultimate responsibility and authority for the direction of the family. God has given that responsibility to the husband. That means you are trusting your husband to lead you in the direction of God’s best interest. You know that is the best interest for you.

In what sense is the husband the head of the wife? In a similar sense that Christ is the head of the church.

Here’s what husbands must remember, we are not God. Headship doesn’t mean that we lead our wives in what we think is in our best interest. We know Christ is God. It means we think like Christ, put others first like Christ, love like Christ, sacrifice like Christ, show kindness like Christ.

+Here’s a good practical point, whatever degree you show control in your home, you must match it with the same degree of kindness and sacrifice.

You should listen to this because few women have problems with following this kind of husband.

As her head he must be vitally interested in her welfare. He is her protector. He is to be her provider. He is to lead her into holiness.

“There is nothing demeaning about this, for her submission is not to be an unthinking obedience to his rule but rather a grateful acceptance of his care.”-John Stott

To really understand “headship” we have to understand the metaphor of the “body” in this text. says one of the things that happens in marriage is that “the two shall become one flesh.”

Ephesians 5:31 ESV

31 “Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.”

says one of the things that happens in marriage is that “the two shall become one flesh.” So essentially, the two become one body. In v. 23, says that “Christ is the head of the church, his body.” So Christ and the church are one body. And, the husband and wife are one body.

So essentially, the two become one body. In v. 23, says that “Christ is the head of the church, his body.” So Christ and the church are one body. And, the husband and wife are one body.

Do you know what a body without a head is? It’s a monster. A home without a head is an invitation to Chaos. It ends in disaster. A home without a head is a recipe for a constant fighting, a home where the wife is rarely satisfied, the husband is rarely respected, children are raised in constant fear of what will happen to their family and there is little or no peace. Where God gets not glory, we will find no joy in them.

A godly Christian wife understands this truth and joyfully trusts God’s plan and willingly submits to her husband’s headship. She understands and trusts God’s design for her marriage.

II. A godly wife’s submission is empowered by the Holy Spirit.

A submissive wife is a miracle. So is a husband who leads like Christ. Why? Because we all have sin natures and we see the sin in our spouses. We can never be what we are called to be in marriage without the supernatural power of God.

Backup and look at

Ephesians 5:15–18 ESV

15 Look carefully then how you walk, not as unwise but as wise, 16 making the best use of the time, because the days are evil. 17 Therefore do not be foolish, but understand what the will of the Lord is. 18 And do not get drunk with wine, for that is debauchery, but be filled with the Spirit,

Ephesians 5:15–21 ESV

15 Look carefully then how you walk, not as unwise but as wise, 16 making the best use of the time, because the days are evil. 17 Therefore do not be foolish, but understand what the will of the Lord is. 18 And do not get drunk with wine, for that is debauchery, but be filled with the Spirit, 19 addressing one another in psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, singing and making melody to the Lord with your heart, 20 giving thanks always and for everything to God the Father in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ, 21 submitting to one another out of reverence for Christ.

Eph. 5:18 “15 Look carefully then how you walk, not as unwise but as wise but as wise, 16 making the best use of the time, because the days are evil. 17 Therefore do not be foolish, but understand what the will of the Lord is. 18 And do not get drunk with wine, for that is debauchery, but be filled with the Spirit….” (And it is in the context of being filled with the spirit that we are instructed) in v.21 to be “submitting to one another out of reverence for Christ.”

“15 Look carefully then how you walk, not as unwise but as wise but as wise, 16 making the best use of the time, because the days are evil. 17 Therefore do not be foolish, but understand what the will of the Lord is. 18 And do not get drunk with wine, for that is debauchery, but be filled with the Spirit….” (And it is in the context of being filled with the spirit that we are instructed) in v.21 to be “submitting to one another out of reverence for Christ.”

“15 Look carefully then how you walk, not as unwise but as wise but as wise, 16 making the best use of the time, because the days are evil. 17 Therefore do not be foolish, but understand what the will of the Lord is. 18 And do not get drunk with wine, for that is debauchery, but be filled with the Spirit….” (And it is in the context of being filled with the spirit that we are instructed) in v.21 to be “submitting to one another out of reverence for Christ.”

(And it is in the context of being filled with the spirit that we are instructed) in v.21 to be “submitting to one another out of reverence for Christ.”

Ephesians 5:21 ESV

21 submitting to one another out of reverence for Christ.

I want you to see why the filling of the Spirit is essential in headship and submission.

23. I want you to see why the filling of the Spirit is essential. Turn to . It is important to understand that Headship and submission has always been God’s plan for marriage. Some people believe that it came as a result of the fall, but actually just the opposite happened. Both headship and submission which was god original intention for marriage was corrupted as a result of the fall.

Look at . As we read this ask yourself this question? Where was Adam when Eve ate the forbidden fruit?

Genesis 3:6 ESV

6 So when the woman saw that the tree was good for food, and that it was a delight to the eyes, and that the tree was to be desired to make one wise, she took of its fruit and ate, and she also gave some to her husband who was with her, and he ate.

Eve’s sin was partly a result of Adam not being the husband he was called to. Look at . As we read this ask yourself this question? Where was Adam when Eve ate the forbidden fruit?

Genesis 3:6 ESV

6 So when the woman saw that the tree was good for food, and that it was a delight to the eyes, and that the tree was to be desired to make one wise, she took of its fruit and ate, and she also gave some to her husband who was with her, and he ate.

We really need God’s help to avoid failures in our homes.

Turn to . It is important to understand that Headship and submission has always been God’s plan for marriage. Some people believe that it came as a result of the fall, but actually just the opposite happened. Both headship and submission which was God’s original intention for marriage was corrupted as a result of the fall.

Look at what God said in response to the sin of Adam and Eve in the garden,

Genesis 3:16–18 ESV

16 To the woman he said, “I will surely multiply your pain in childbearing; in pain you shall bring forth children. Your desire shall be contrary to your husband, but he shall rule over you.” 17 And to Adam he said, “Because you have listened to the voice of your wife and have eaten of the tree of which I commanded you, ‘You shall not eat of it,’ cursed is the ground because of you; in pain you shall eat of it all the days of your life; 18 thorns and thistles it shall bring forth for you; and you shall eat the plants of the field.

Gen. 3:16

records, “To the woman he said, ‘I will surely multiply our pain in childbearing; in pain you shall bring forth children. Your desire shall be for your husband and he shall rule over you.’ And to Adam he said, ‘Because you have listened to the voice of your wife and have eaten of the tree of which I commanded you, ‘You shall not eat if it,’ cursed is the ground because of you; in pain you shall eat of it all the day of your life; thorns and thistles it shall bring forth for you; and you shall eat the plants of the field.”

This sin eroded the joy of God’s original design in 3 ways. 1) The sin brought pain to the joy of childbirth (which was God’s command in to be fruitful and multiply), it brought sweat and difficulty to the joy of work which was God’s (which was God’s command to rule over the earth.)

This sin eroded the joy of God’s original design in 3 ways. 1) The sin brought pain to the joy of childbirth (which was God’s command in to be fruitful and multiply), it brought sweat and difficulty to the joy of work which was God’s (which was God’s command to rule over the earth.)

The final way is that we aren’t so familiar with is that Sin makes fulfilling our God given roles in marriage a struggle. “Your desire shall be for your husband and he shall rule over you.” () That word “desire” has nothing to do with sexual desire. We understand what it means better when we look at how it is used in where it is said about Cain that , “sin is crouching at the door. Its desire is for you, but you must rule over it.”

27. The final way is that we aren’t so familiar with is that Sin makes fulfilling our God given roles in marriage a struggle. “Your desire shall be for your husband and he shall rule over you.” () That word “desire” has nothing to do with sexual desire. We understand what it means better when we look at how it is used in where it is said about Cain that , “sin is crouching at the door. Its desire is for you, but you must rule over it.”

In other words, sins desire was to ‘master’ Cain. Cain’s command was to rule over it. Crush it. So because of sin, a woman’s sinful tendency is rather than being submissive helpers is to have mastery over their husbands. Women have a sinful tendency to usurp the headship from their husbands.

Also, as a result of sin, men have a sinful tendency to rule over his wife in a similar way that Cain was to rule over sin. To rule over them with an iron fist. To “rule” with a very autocratic, unloving, ‘its my way or the highway’ type of way instead of providing kind and caring headship and leadership to their wives. Or just to let the wife rule over him and become henpecked.

My point is that God has already forewarned us that sin is going to make our striving to accomplish our assigned roles in the marriage a constant struggle. Only the Holy Spirit can give us the grace we need to submit to each other in a way the beautiful relationship of Christ and the church.

31. +So we must pray every day and cry out desperately to God to fill us with his Holy Spirit so that we can do what is impossible in our flesh. Christian marriage is not something that we can do in our own power. God would you fill us with your spirit and give us grace to live in the kinds of marriages that you desire!

IV. A godly wife’s submission is modeled in Christ’s submission to the Father.

Ephesians 5:23 ESV

23 For the husband is the head of the wife even as Christ is the head of the church, his body, and is himself its Savior.

E

32. A wife’s model of submission is Jesus Christ.

says, “Christ is the head of the church, his body, and is himself its Savior.”

There is headship and submission even in the Godhead.

1 Corinthians 11:3 ESV

3 But I want you to understand that the head of every man is Christ, the head of a wife is her husband, and the head of Christ is God.

Cor. 11:3 gives us the chain of command of headship and submission. “But I want you to understand that the head of every man is Christ, the head of a wife is her husband, and the head of Christ is God.”

So the Bible says that the order of headship and submission goes (God the Father- Jesus Christ-husband-wife).

Jesus Christ became the Savior of the church by submitting to the Father will that he come and die on the cross giving his life as a ransom for many.

Paul is saying to the wives. Jesus is not asking you to do anything more than what he has already done. He is the perfect example of one who trusted in the Father’s divine design to save the world. Now Christ Jesus is your perfect example that you look to learn how to trust God’s divine design for your marriage.

Paul anticipates a little bit of push back here from the women. He knew what some of you are thinking right now. “But, my husband is not Jesus. He is not my Savior.” In. v.24 where he starts by saying “Now,” it could better be translated “But.”

It’s Paul’s way of saying, “I know that your husband is not Jesus,

but as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit in everything to their husbands.

Ephesians 5:24 ESV

24 Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit in everything to their husbands.

“as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit in everything to their husbands.”What does he mean, “in everything?” That assumes he is leading with Christ-like headship. This is not true outside of that headship. You should never follow your husband into sin. That would mean you would step out from under Christ’s headship.

What does he mean, “in everything?” That’s assumes he is leading with Christ-like headship. This is not true outside of that headship. You should never follow your husband into sin. That would mean you would step out from under Christ’s headship.

Why should you submit to your husband even though he is not your savior? Because it is God’s grand design to give you the most satisfying joyful marriage you could possibly have by being a beautiful illustration of the way Bride of Christ, the church, follows their Husband.

Application points (Both Husband and Wives)

1. Approach your marriage with the goal of accomplishing God’s purpose for it.

2. Evaluate your marriage to discover where sin is eroding away God’s design for it and your joy in it.

3. Ask for forgiveness in all areas where you have given in to the sinful tendencies to step outside of your God given role.

4. Pray that the Holy Spirit would fill you and give you wisdom and power to fulfill God’s design in your marriage.