Sermon Tone Analysis

We started this series Two Become One, by saying that God has specific purposes for marriage.

In Genesis we discovered that some of those purposes were to give mankind an opportunity to share their lives in very intimate ways with their spouses.

In marriage, two people who were made by God as very different realize that they fit together very uniquely for the purposes of God.

Spouses become so close that they are literally seen as one.

Christian marriage is meant to produce children though which we pass on our faith.

These are to be faithful children that seek Christ and work to subdue the world by working to expand the Kingdom of God.

It takes both a mom and a dad and what they separately bring to the family to accomplish that.

Elizabeth Dole was right when she responded to Hillary Clinton by saying, “It doesn’t take a village to raise a child.

It takes a family to raise a child.”

Let me add a small side note here.

If you are single parent this can make you worry for your child.

Remember God is ultimately in control.

If you are a single mom, work to make sure your child has some godly men who have some influence in their lives.

If you are a single dad, make sure there is some godly women that have some influence in your child’s life.

We also learned that there is a purpose for marriage that eclipses all of the other purposes of marriage.

This purpose was a mystery for thousands of years until Christ could come to earth and create a bride for himself.

Eph.

5:32 says that the mystery of our earthly marriages are that they are simply to be running illustrations of the relationship that Christ has with his church.

The more clearly our marriages reflect the relationship between Christ and his bride, the church, the more joyful and satisfying our marriages will be.

And, it’s only when we understand and seek to live out this truth that we can really accomplish all of the other purposes of marriage.

We understand from Scripture clearly that men and women are absolutely equal before God.

Men are not superior to women and women are not superior to men, but we are all made in his image and are all Christians are one in Christ Jesus.

However, while we are equal in personhood, we are different in roles.

v.21 says that we are to submit to each other, however we submit to each other in different ways.

In this beautiful illustration of the relationship between Christ and his church, man plays the role of Christ and the wife plays the role of the church.

The husband has to take his cues from Christ.

The wife has to take her cues from the church.

The husband submits by providing Christlike headship to his home.

Which means he loves and provides for his wife similar to the way Christ provides for the church.

In v.22, where wives are commanded to submit to their husbands, it doesn’t mean to be his slave.

It simply means that the wife submits to her husbands leadership similar to the way the church trusts Christ and follows his leadership.

What do we know about women who are willing in supportive submission to her husband?

I.

A godly wife’s submission is driven by faith.

Submission shows that she trusts God’s divine design for her marriage.

v. 23 “For (a preposition denoting purpose, this is why you submit) the husband is the head of the wife even as Christ is the head of the church.”

11.

She understands that it is God’s will and design for her marriage is to illustrate the divine marriage of Christ to his Bride, the church.

For that to be the case, she understands that her husband is her head just as Christ is the head of the church.

She trust’s God’s design.

Living in this type of marriage is driven by faith.

12. V.23 is the first time the word ‘head’ is used to describe husband in relation to his wife.

So let me give you a definition for headship and let’s think about what headship means.

Here is a definition of biblical headship:

Biblical headship: “In the partnership of two spiritually equal human beings, man and woman, the man bears the primary responsibility to lead the partnership in a God-glorifying direction.”

(Raymond Ortlund Jr.- Rediscovering Biblical Manhood and womanhood, p. 95)

When “head” used to describe a relationship between two people, head mean one has a “superior rank” than the other.

But that just means that the husband has more responsibility to God for the direction of your home.

*For instance, a general has a very different role than a sergeant and a sergeant has a very different role than a private.

They all are equal before God has humans, but in the context of the army, it denotes a chain of command and of responsibility.

Yes the general has much more authority to make command decisions, but he also has much more responsibility.

Every one of these roles and ranks are essential to having a successful army.

Those with responsibility must lead toward the army’s best interest.

Corporations are the same way.

There must be a CEO that makes crucial decisions about the direction of the company.

If the company fails, he gets the blame.

It’s his job to lead the company in the best interest of the company.

The same is true in the family.

There must be someone who has ultimate responsibility and authority for the direction of the family.

God has given that responsibility to the husband.

That means you are trusting your husband to lead you in the direction of God’s best interest.

You know that is the best interest for you.

Here’s what husbands must remember, we are not God.

Headship doesn’t mean that we lead our wives in what we think is in our best interest.

We know Christ is God.

It means we think like Christ, put others first like Christ, love like Christ, sacrifice like Christ, show kindness like Christ.

+Here’s a good practical point, whatever degree you show control in your home, you must match it with the same degree of kindness and sacrifice.

You should listen to this because few women have problems with following this kind of husband.

As her head he must be vitally interested in her welfare.

He is her protector.

He is to be her provider.

He is to lead her into holiness.

“There is nothing demeaning about this, for her submission is not to be an unthinking obedience to his rule but rather a grateful acceptance of his care.”-John

Stott

To really understand “headship” we have to understand the metaphor of the “body” in this text.

Ephesians 5:31 says one of the things that happens in marriage is that “the two shall become one flesh.”

So essentially, the two become one body.

In v. 23, says that “Christ is the head of the church, his body.”

So Christ and the church are one body.

And, the husband and wife are one body.

Do you know what a body without a head is?

It’s a monster.

A home without a head is an invitation to Chaos.

It ends in disaster.

A home without a head is a recipe for a constant fighting, a home where the wife is rarely satisfied, the husband is rarely respected, children are raised in constant fear of what will happen to their family and there is little or no peace.

Where God gets not glory, we will find no joy in them.

A godly Christian wife understands this truth and joyfully trusts God’s plan and willingly submits to her husband’s headship.

She understands and trusts God’s design for her marriage.

II.

A godly wife’s submission is empowered by the Holy Spirit.

A submissive wife is a miracle.

So is a husband who leads like Christ.

Why?

Because we all have sin natures and we see the sin in our spouses.

We can never be what we are called to be in marriage without the supernatural power of God.

Backup and look at Eph. 5:15-18

(And it is in the context of being filled with the spirit that we are instructed) in v.21 to be “submitting to one another out of reverence for Christ.”

I want you to see why the filling of the Spirit is essential in headship and submission.

Eve’s sin was partly a result of Adam not being the husband he was called to.

Look at Gen. 3:6.

As we read this ask yourself this question?