Asking for a Friend Pt3
Asking for a Friend • Sermon • Submitted
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// Quick Questions
// Quick Questions
Did Adam & Eve have a belly button?
Did Adam & Eve have a belly button?
Why are boys so annoying?
Why are boys so annoying?
Annoying: to irritate or make someone a little angry
To be annoying you are basically changing or affecting someone's emotional state in a negative way.
To be annoying you are basically changing or affecting someone's emotional state in a negative way.
The bible says that we should love even our enemies, so although boys are annoying we should still be nice to them.
The bible says that we should love even our enemies, so although boys are annoying we should still be nice to them.
// Leader Panel
// Leader Panel
How can I tell if God is wanting me to do a certain thing? God knows everything about everything, but my knowledge is limited and can't see things the way He does.
How can I tell if God is wanting me to do a certain thing? God knows everything about everything, but my knowledge is limited and can't see things the way He does.
Prayer -
ESV5 If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask God, who gives generously to all without reproach, and it will be given him.
5 If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask God, who gives generously to all without reproach, and it will be given him.
Compare to the Bible - God will never ask you to do something that is in opposition to His Word. God will never ask you to sin or hurt someone else.
105 Your word is a lamp to my feet and a light to my path.
ESV105 Your word is a lamp to my feet and a light to my path.
16 All Scripture is breathed out by God and profitable for teaching, for reproof, for correction, and for training in righteousness,
ESV16 All Scripture is breathed out by God and profitable for teaching, for reproof, for correction, and for training in righteousness,
Question: is this helping others or my relationship with God, it’s probably safe to say it’s from God.Be Still - - wait for the Lord to give you direction
7 Be still before the Lord and wait patiently for him; fret not yourself over the one who prospers in his way, over the man who carries out evil devices!
Question: is this helping others or my relationship with God, it’s probably safe to say it’s from God.Be Still - - wait for the Lord to give you direction
How do I get over sexual abuse?
How do I get over sexual abuse?
Forgive Them
21 Then Peter came up and said to him, “Lord, how often will my brother sin against me, and I forgive him? As many as seven times?” 22 Jesus said to him, “I do not say to you seven times, but seventy-seven times.
14 For if you forgive others their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you, 15 but if you do not forgive others their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses.
Forgiveness is NOT saying, “this is okay”
ESV21 Then Peter came up and said to him, “Lord, how often will my brother sin against me, and I forgive him? As many as seven times?” 22 Jesus said to him, “I do not say to you seven times, but seventy-seven times.
8 but God shows his love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us.
ESV14 For if you forgive others their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you, 15 but if you do not forgive others their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses.
It’s Not God’s Fault
Forgiveness is NOT saying, “this is okay”
24 He himself bore our sins in his body on the tree, that we might die to sin and live to righteousness. By his wounds you have been healed.
ESV8 but God shows his love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us.
17 And when Jesus heard it, he said to them, “Those who are well have no need of a physician, but those who are sick. I came not to call the righteous, but sinners.”
It’s Not God’s Fault
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ESV24 He himself bore our sins in his body on the tree, that we might die to sin and live to righteousness. By his wounds you have been healed.
ESV17 And when Jesus heard it, he said to them, “Those who are well have no need of a physician, but those who are sick. I came not to call the righteous, but sinners.”
How to get over liking people of the same gender even if you don't want to because you know it's wrong?
How to get over liking people of the same gender even if you don't want to because you know it's wrong?
Where are these thoughts coming from?
7 Submit yourselves therefore to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you.
3 For though we walk in the flesh, we are not waging war according to the flesh. 4 For the weapons of our warfare are not of the flesh but have divine power to destroy strongholds. 5 We destroy arguments and every lofty opinion raised against the knowledge of God, and take every thought captive to obey Christ,
19 We love because he first loved us.
ESV7 Submit yourselves therefore to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you.
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16 But I say, walk by the Spirit, and you will not gratify the desires of the flesh.
ESV3 For though we walk in the flesh, we are not waging war according to the flesh. 4 For the weapons of our warfare are not of the flesh but have divine power to destroy strongholds. 5 We destroy arguments and every lofty opinion raised against the knowledge of God, and take every thought captive to obey Christ,
How do you forgive someone when they've hurt you really badly and can't face them?
How do you forgive someone when they've hurt you really badly and can't face them?
ESV19 We love because he first loved us.
- steps to forgiveness
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GAME BREAK
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// Teaching Questions
// Teaching Questions
How to get over trust issues?
How to get over trust issues?
Start where you can trust - God
31 What then shall we say to these things? If God is for us, who can be against us?
5 Keep your life free from love of money, and be content with what you have, for he has said, “I will never leave you nor forsake you.” 6 So we can confidently say, “The Lord is my helper; I will not fear; what can man do to me?”
Trust is the foundation of any healthy relationship
ESV31 What then shall we say to these things? If God is for us, who can be against us?
ESV5 Keep your life free from love of money, and be content with what you have, for he has said, “I will never leave you nor forsake you.” 6 So we can confidently say, “The Lord is my helper; I will not fear; what can man do to me?”
Defined: Reliance on and confidence in a person or thing
Trust is the foundation of any healthy relationshipDefined: Reliance on and confidence in a person or thingTrust can be broken when what we rely on is not where we expect it
Trust can be broken when what we rely on is not where we expect it
Trust Fall Fail VIDEO
To build trust, take it one step at a time.
No need to break down you walls and boundaries all at once.
Start off slowly and work your way to a closer relationship.
You have to start by allowing at least one person in those walls.
What if you only have one friend?
What if you only have one friend?
Look at Jesus, He had at least three friends that we close to Him
we are relational beings and at our core we desire to have relationship with other (we were made in God’s image and God is a relational being)
The enemy has a game plan called SKD (steal, kill, destroy)
10 The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy. I came that they may have life and have it abundantly.
The best way to destroy an enemy is to get them alone or as close to alone as possible
ESV10 The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy. I came that they may have life and have it abundantly.
9 Two are better than one, because they have a good reward for their toil. 10 For if they fall, one will lift up his fellow. But woe to him who is alone when he falls and has not another to lift him up! 11 Again, if two lie together, they keep warm, but how can one keep warm alone? 12 And though a man might prevail against one who is alone, two will withstand him—a threefold cord is not quickly broken.
The best way to destroy an enemy is to get them alone or as close to alone as possible
We weren’t meant to do life alone and having a support system is key to staying healthy.
ESV9 Two are better than one, because they have a good reward for their toil. 10 For if they fall, one will lift up his fellow. But woe to him who is alone when he falls and has not another to lift him up! 11 Again, if two lie together, they keep warm, but how can one keep warm alone? 12 And though a man might prevail against one who is alone, two will withstand him—a threefold cord is not quickly broken.
having a strong and encouraging support system is even better!
We weren’t meant to do life alone and having a support system is key to staying healthy.having a strong and encouraging support system is even better!
How do you know when someone is really your friend?
How do you know when someone is really your friend?
Touched on this in SQUAD a few weeks ago
Do they gossip to you or about you?
Do they speak encouragement?
Are they generous and loving?
Do they speak the truth in love to you?
A real friend is always going to put you before them and vice versa - you should want to be serving you friend.
if someone is constantly pulling from you, your resources, you time, etc; they are using you
Why is the Bible so controversial? In one part it will say, You are all one in Jesus Christ, but in another part will say that men are higher than women?
Why is the Bible so controversial? In one part it will say, You are all one in Jesus Christ, but in another part will say that men are higher than women?
The Bible can seem to contradict itself in different places, but keep in mind the Bible was written over a thousand years by different people in different cultures.
As Bre established, woman was made as a helper, HOWEVER we are all apart of the body of Christ
12 For just as the body is one and has many members, and all the members of the body, though many, are one body, so it is with Christ. 13 For in one Spirit we were all baptized into one body—Jews or Greeks, slaves or free—and all were made to drink of one Spirit. 14 For the body does not consist of one member but of many. 15 If the foot should say, “Because I am not a hand, I do not belong to the body,” that would not make it any less a part of the body. 16 And if the ear should say, “Because I am not an eye, I do not belong to the body,” that would not make it any less a part of the body. 17 If the whole body were an eye, where would be the sense of hearing? If the whole body were an ear, where would be the sense of smell? 18 But as it is, God arranged the members in the body, each one of them, as he chose. 19 If all were a single member, where would the body be? 20 As it is, there are many parts, yet one body. 21 The eye cannot say to the hand, “I have no need of you,” nor again the head to the feet, “I have no need of you.” 22 On the contrary, the parts of the body that seem to be weaker are indispensable, 23 and on those parts of the body that we think less honorable we bestow the greater honor, and our unpresentable parts are treated with greater modesty, 24 which our more presentable parts do not require. But God has so composed the body, giving greater honor to the part that lacked it, 25 that there may be no division in the body, but that the members may have the same care for one another. 26 If one member suffers, all suffer together; if one member is honored, all rejoice together.
Body parts that seem weaker or unnecessary may appear that way, but wait until it gets hurt, then it’s a big deal, right?
ESV12 For just as the body is one and has many members, and all the members of the body, though many, are one body, so it is with Christ. 13 For in one Spirit we were all baptized into one body—Jews or Greeks, slaves or free—and all were made to drink of one Spirit. 14 For the body does not consist of one member but of many. 15 If the foot should say, “Because I am not a hand, I do not belong to the body,” that would not make it any less a part of the body. 16 And if the ear should say, “Because I am not an eye, I do not belong to the body,” that would not make it any less a part of the body. 17 If the whole body were an eye, where would be the sense of hearing? If the whole body were an ear, where would be the sense of smell? 18 But as it is, God arranged the members in the body, each one of them, as he chose. 19 If all were a single member, where would the body be? 20 As it is, there are many parts, yet one body. 21 The eye cannot say to the hand, “I have no need of you,” nor again the head to the feet, “I have no need of you.” 22 On the contrary, the parts of the body that seem to be weaker are indispensable, 23 and on those parts of the body that we think less honorable we bestow the greater honor, and our unpresentable parts are treated with greater modesty, 24 which our more presentable parts do not require. But God has so composed the body, giving greater honor to the part that lacked it, 25 that there may be no division in the body, but that the members may have the same care for one another. 26 If one member suffers, all suffer together; if one member is honored, all rejoice together.
Body parts don’t serve themselves, they serve the whole body!
Body parts that seem weaker or unnecessary may appear that way, but wait until it gets hurt, then it’s a big deal, right?Body parts don’t serve themselves, they serve the whole body!Paul goes on and explains the different parts of the body and then says...
Paul goes on and explains the different parts of the body and then says...
29 Are all apostles? Are all prophets? Are all teachers? Do all work miracles? 30 Do all possess gifts of healing? Do all speak with tongues? Do all interpret? 31 But earnestly desire the higher gifts. And I will show you a still more excellent way. 1 If I speak in the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I am a noisy gong or a clanging cymbal. 2 And if I have prophetic powers, and understand all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have all faith, so as to remove mountains, but have not love, I am nothing.
At the end of it all, you might be “weaker” or “stronger” but if you don’t have LOVE you are worthless!
ESV29 Are all apostles? Are all prophets? Are all teachers? Do all work miracles? 30 Do all possess gifts of healing? Do all speak with tongues? Do all interpret? 31 But earnestly desire the higher gifts. And I will show you a still more excellent way. 1 If I speak in the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I am a noisy gong or a clanging cymbal. 2 And if I have prophetic powers, and understand all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have all faith, so as to remove mountains, but have not love, I am nothing.
Why does the Bible sound harsh a lot?
Why does the Bible sound harsh a lot?
At the end of it all, you might be “weaker” or “stronger” but if you don’t have LOVE you are worthless!
Prayer -
It depends on what side of the Bible you’re on.
When you sibling/friend gets in trouble for a poor decision…does it seem harsh or unharsh that their discipline happens?
5 If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask God, who gives generously to all without reproach, and it will be given him.
Compare to the Bible - God will never ask you to do something that is in
when you remove your personal feelings from the situation, you gain a new perspective and understand WHY things have to be the way they are
11 My son, do not despise the Lord’s discipline or be weary of his reproof, 12 for the Lord reproves him whom he loves, as a father the son in whom he delights.
16 All Scripture is breathed out by God and profitable for teaching, for reproof, for correction, and for training in righteousness, 17 that the man of God may be complete, equipped for every good work.
5 And have you forgotten the exhortation that addresses you as sons? “My son, do not regard lightly the discipline of the Lord, nor be weary when reproved by him. 6 For the Lord disciplines the one he loves, and chastises every son whom he receives.” 7 It is for discipline that you have to endure. God is treating you as sons. For what son is there whom his father does not discipline? 8 If you are left without discipline, in which all have participated, then you are illegitimate children and not sons. 9 Besides this, we have had earthly fathers who disciplined us and we respected them. Shall we not much more be subject to the Father of spirits and live? 10 For they disciplined us for a short time as it seemed best to them, but he disciplines us for our good, that we may share his holiness. 11 For the moment all discipline seems painful rather than pleasant, but later it yields the peaceful fruit of righteousness to those who have been trained by it.
Heb
Why is love so hard?
Why is love so hard?
37 And he said to him, “You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind. 38 This is the great and first commandment. 39 And a second is like it: You shall love your neighbor as yourself.
true love involves ALL of you — therefore when you only try to love with your emotions or just your mind, you’re missing something
4 Types of Love:
Eros - erotic, sexual love
Storge - family love
Philia - brotherly love, close frienship
Agape - unconditional, never-changing love
16 By this we know love, that he laid down his life for us, and we ought to lay down our lives for the brothers.
13 Greater love has no one than this, that someone lay down his life for his friends.
8 Anyone who does not love does not know God, because God is love.
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GAME BREAK
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When should you be able to have sex?
When should you be able to have sex?
On your wedding night and beyond!
Sex is good! It is a gift from God, but you can ruin a gift by taking it outside of its time
Opening a video game before you opened the video game system
You’re missing part of the equation
Sex is meant for 1 man, 1 woman
Making Babies -
27 So God created man in his own image, in the image of God he created him; male and female he created them. 28 And God blessed them. And God said to them, “Be fruitful and multiply and fill the earth and subdue it, and have dominion over the fish of the sea and over the birds of the heavens and over every living thing that moves on the earth.”
More importantly, intimate frienship -
More importantly, intimate friendship -
24 Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh.
could you imagine walking down the street sharing you most intimate deep thoughts with anyone you came in contact with?
What are the dangers of that?
If there is no relationship, the acquaintance on the street wont be invested in your deep, intimate thoughts.
The idea of being naked & vulnerable with one person your entire life makes that relationship truly special - which is exactly what a marriage should be!
Sex is a party at an exclusive club, and the membership is only 2 people!
Married people should have sex often -
5 Do not deprive one another, except perhaps by agreement for a limited time, that you may devote yourselves to prayer; but then come together again, so that Satan may not tempt you because of your lack of self-control.
Just because it’s between two people doesn’t mean it can’t be fun and often!
Why is getting married so important/such a big deal, when it is literally just signing a paper? How does that make everything then okay?
Why is getting married so important/such a big deal, when it is literally just signing a paper? How does that make everything then okay?
Contract vs Covenant
contracts are papers signed as a standing agreement
covenant is dynamic and will change over time, yet you choose to remain committed
Benefits of Marriage
Companionship & Help
18 Then the Lord God said, “It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him a helper fit for him.”
Completeness
23 Then the man said, “This at last is bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh; she shall be called Woman, because she was taken out of Man.”
Enjoyment
Enjoyment
4 Let marriage be held in honor among all, and let the marriage bed be undefiled, for God will judge the sexually immoral and adulterous.
How to get over self-harm, suicidal thoughts?
How to get over self-harm, suicidal thoughts?
Feeling: Things are never going to get better.
Feeling: Things are never going to get better.
1 God is our refuge and strength, a very present help in trouble.
14 Wait for the Lord; be strong, and let your heart take courage; wait for the Lord!
18 Surely there is a future, and your hope will not be cut off.
Have your teens think about past changes in their lives such as getting older and remind them change takes time. Help them understand it is OK to move as quickly or as slowly as they are comfortable.
Feeling: I need to be punished
Feeling: I need to be punished
24 He himself bore our sins in his body on the tree, that we might die to sin and live to righteousness. By his wounds you have been healed.
18 There is no fear in love, but perfect love casts out fear. For fear has to do with punishment, and whoever fears has not been perfected in love.
Talk to your teens about how they would want a younger child who is distressed to handle his/her feelings. Would they recommend the child hurt his/her body to cope? Why are they different than that child?
Feeling: God has abandoned me
Feeling: God has abandoned me
16 Let us then with confidence draw near to the throne of grace, that we may receive mercy and find grace to help in time of need.
5 Keep your life free from love of money, and be content with what you have, for he has said, “I will never leave you nor forsake you.”
35 Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? Shall tribulation, or distress, or persecution, or famine, or nakedness, or danger, or sword? 36 As it is written, “For your sake we are being killed all the day long; we are regarded as sheep to be slaughtered.” 37 No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. 38 For I am sure that neither death nor life, nor angels nor rulers, nor things present nor things to come, nor powers, 39 nor height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord.
We tend to attach human characteristics to God; yet God’s character does not resemble ours. Feeling abandoned by people in life does not mean God will do the same. Ask your teens to research the character of God. Do they see examples of His faithfulness, even when others are not faithful? How does this relate to them?
Feeling: I’ll Never Be Able to Change
Feeling: I’ll Never Be Able to Change
7 for we walk by faith, not by sight.
6 And I am sure of this, that he who began a good work in you will bring it to completion at the day of Jesus Christ.
Change is hard but possible if your teens are willing. Help them consider all of the things that will improve in life if they stop self-harming.
Feeling: I’m unlovable
Feeling: I’m unlovable
6 For while we were still weak, at the right time Christ died for the ungodly. 7 For one will scarcely die for a righteous person—though perhaps for a good person one would dare even to die— 8 but God shows his love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us. 9 Since, therefore, we have now been justified by his blood, much more shall we be saved by him from the wrath of God. 10 For if while we were enemies we were reconciled to God by the death of his Son, much more, now that we are reconciled, shall we be saved by his life. 11 More than that, we also rejoice in God through our Lord Jesus Christ, through whom we have now received reconciliation.
16 “For God so loved the world, that he gave his only Son, that whoever believes in him should not perish but have eternal life.
Encourage your teens to ask a trusted friend or family member what he/she finds lovable about them. Help teens resist the urge to argue or disagree with the statements.
Feeling: I feel like God won’t forgive me
Feeling: I feel like God won’t forgive me
22 he has now reconciled in his body of flesh by his death, in order to present you holy and blameless and above reproach before him,
9 If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.
We often find it easy to forgive other people but so hard to forgive ourselves. How have your teens been able to forgive others in their lives? Can they apply those principles to forgiving themselves?