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Family Feud - 4
Parenting - 1
Introduction
According to recent research from multiple organizations, having a child may just be the worst mistake you could ever possibly make.
70% of couples experience slumps in their relationship within the first three years of a child’s birth.
This is attributed to the new parenting realities of less intimacy, less money, disagreement on parenting philosophies, and overall lack of time spent together.
Ellen Walker, P.h.D. told Psychology Today, “Marital satisfaction rates actually plummet after the birth of the first child.
So, if a couple has the idea that a baby will bring them closer, think again.”
Sleep is another contributing factor.
In the first two years of a baby’s life, a parent will lose six months of sleep, amounting to an average of 2.5 hours of actual sleep per night.Finances contribute as well.
According to NBC News, having a child in America can cost up to $13,000 per year, amounting to almost a quarter of a million dollars by age 17.
As we continue our Family Feud series, we are shifting gears from talking primarily about marriage to spending a couple weeks seeing God’s design for parenting.
While the Bible does not give very many specific parenting “do’s and don’ts,” it does give us general principles and guidelines to follow.
Though it may seem like the factors are against parents regarding their finances, sleep, time spent together, God has much to say about the gift that children are to a home.
- 3 Children are a gift from the Lord;
they are a reward from him.
- 15 One day some parents brought their little children to Jesus so he could touch and bless them.
But when the disciples saw this, they scolded the parents for bothering him.
16 Then Jesus called for the children and said to the disciples, “Let the children come to me.
Don’t stop them!
For the Kingdom of God belongs to those who are like these children.
17 I tell you the truth, anyone who doesn’t receive the Kingdom of God like a child will never enter it.”
As the Bible addresses the relationship between parents and children, we receive the guidance from God to get this right.
There is simply too much at stake to mess this up.
The Bible says to bring our children up in the training and instruction of the Lord.
How do we do that the best way?
Since the Bible doesn’t give us a lot of specific teachings here (as a manual), there then becomes multiple ways to parent children.
Sadly, many of them or poor ways to do it.
There are multiple ‘styles’ of parenting today.
Militant parenting– all about rules, restrictions, over the top on discipline.
Harsh, overbearing.
Their kids end up being insecure and afraid of ever messing up.
They have no concept of grace, only justice.
Buddy parenting– all about being friends with their kids instead of parents.
End up dressing alike and lamely attempting to hang out with their friends.
Enforces little, if any, discipline because they just want their kids to like them and think they’re cool.
Their children end up directionless and without guidance because their parents have made parenting about themselves.
Clueless parenting– so uninvolved in their kid’s lives they have no idea what their kids are up to.
Due to their overly-demanding job, ever-escalating list of personal hobbies, or just plain apathy, they do not know their kid’s friends, how they are doing in school, what they are dealing with.
These kids end up being left to figure out everything on their own, or finding direction from their friends, or anyone who will pay attention to them.
TS—no wonder we are, according to several leading scholars, in a parenting crisis.
As you can obviously imagine, the biblical picture of parenting is quite different.
The image I’d like for us to consider today and next week is that of a pottery wheel.
– 8 And yet, O Lord, you are our Father.
We are the clay, and you are the potter.
We all are formed by your hand.
God, as our Father, is the potter.
We, his children, are the clay in his hands.
What we turn out to be is due to his direct influence in our lives and how he lovingly molds and shapes us.
Our example in the Bible of great parenting is God himself.
If we are going to take parenting cues from anyone, it must be him.
So we as the parents are called, like God does with us, to mold and shape our children.
To create a beautiful piece of art, it takes the right managing of the tensions and forces.
There is internal and external work to do to ensure just the right balance.
TS—Today and next week we are going to talk about 4 forces that will mold your child.
They will mold your child whether you like it or not.
The only difference is how they will mold them and to what extent.
The only difference maker in that is you as the parent.
The first two forces are external, which we as parents are to regulate.
The second two, which we will talk about next week, are internal, which mean they come directly from the parent, and we are to initiate them.
Two External Forces for parents to regulate:
1. FAITH
From the very beginning, God has instructed parents to impress faith on their children.
– 6 And you must commit yourselves wholeheartedly to these commands that I am giving you today.
7 Repeat them again and again to your children.
Talk about them when you are at home and when you are on the road, when you are going to bed and when you are getting up.
- 4 Let each generation tell its children of your mighty acts; let them proclaim your power.
– 6 Direct your children onto the right path,
and when they are older, they will not leave it.
Here is why God takes this so seriously – faith is the most formative force in someone’s life.
Faith touches on every aspect of someone’s worldview.
Faith impacts, not just what you do in the world, but even how you respond to it.
Faith…
…gives higher purpose and meaning to life.
…establishes personal identity.
…inspires hope, enabling one to endure anything.
…provides a moral compass to help navigate the world.
…communicates value as a loved child of God.
…equips you to handle inevitable suffering.
…fosters deep relationships that make a life rich.
…encourages authenticity.
TS—no wonder God has us impart faith to our kids.
It is by far the greatest outside formative force we will ever experience.
Let me clarify a couple issues:
There is a difference between bringing your kids to church and imparting faith to them.
I grew up in a church-attending home, not necessarily a Christian home.
I learned there is a huge difference between them.
It’s not that my parents were not Christian, they most certainly were.
But our faith did not impact our home at all.
Church was a high priority for our family growing up.
We did Sunday School, Sunday Worship, Sunday PM service, and Wednesday night youth group.
One of the greatest gifts a parent can give a child is raising them in a good church.
However, please understand…Imparting faith happens primarily at home, not primarily at church.
In conversations in the car.
Around the dinner table.
At bedtime.
Faith impartation happens when kids watch their parents live out their own faith.
This is caught much more than it is taught.
The church, no matter how good, cannot replace that example.
Children become what they see.
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