Sermon Tone Analysis

WHAT DRAWS OTHERS TO ME?

/Understanding what people like about you and why/

 

The greatest leaders have it—that special quality which causes people to be drawn to their magnetic personalities.

Extraordinary entertainers evidence this something extra.

We all have the potential to develop this quality that makes the difference between personality and /personality plus.

/What quality draws others to me?

We can summarize it in one word: /charisma./

Charisma can be a difficult subject to grapple with because most people think it is a mystical, elusive, undefinable quality that you either have or don’t have.

However, /Webster’s Ninth New Collegiate Dictionary /has given several definitions to /charisma, /and this is the one we will use, “A personal magic of leadership arousing special popular loyalty or enthusiasm.”

Each one of us has certain abilities that will increase the charisma of our personality.

You don’t have to make a strained effort to become something that is not comfortable with your basic nature.

However, if your desire is to become a people person, then you need to develop an appealing personality that causes others to respond to you.

When we examine the personalities of some of our United States Presidents, it becomes obvious why some were more successful than others in appealing to the general public.

Ronald Reagan possessed the ability to convey humor, personal warmth, and relaxedness.

He knew how to make others feel good about themselves.

John F. Kennedy knew how to give others a feeling of hope.

He exuded boundless energy and made many Americans feel important and needed.

Our favorite leaders will always stand out because of the charisma factor.

Using the word CHARISMA as an acrostic, we can define the outstanding characteristics of charismatic people:

 

*Concern*

*Help*

*Action*

*Results*

*Influence*

*Sensitivity*

*Motivation*

*Affirmation*

 

Keep in mind that these traits are not simply inborn; they are attainable by anyone who cares about other people and wants to develop his or her relational skills.

Let’s look at each characteristic in CHARISMA in more depth.

Concern—the Ability to Show You Care

 

Charismatic people have the ability to show concern for people’s deepest needs and interests.

That doesn’t mean charismatic people are mushy or patronizing, but when you are around them, you sense their interest and care and leave them feeling that you are important.

Someone once asked Perle Mesta, the greatest Washington hostess since Dolley Madison, the secret of her success in getting so many rich and famous people to attend her parties.

“It’s all in the greetings and good-byes,” she claimed.

As each guest arrived she met him or her with “At last you’re here!”

As each left she expressed her regrets with, “I’m sorry you have to leave so soon!”

At any gathering you will find two types of people— those who arrive with an attitude of “Here I am!” and those who possess an attitude of “There you are!”

It doesn’t take long to notice that people flock to the “There you are!” people.

One of my staff members, Dan Reiland, and I were talking about charisma and why so many people have trouble getting a handle on it.

He gave me a simple definition, one which makes “charisma” easy to grasp: /Be more concerned about making others feel good about themselves than you are in making them feel good about you.

/In other words, don’t try to sell other people on you, try to sell them on themselves.

If you need to develop greater concern for others in your life, increase your exposure to hurting people.

We see Jesus’ sense of concern in Matthew 9:35-38 (italics added):

 

And Jesus was /going /about all the cities and the villages, teaching in their synagogues, and proclaiming the gospel of the kingdom, and healing every kind of disease and every kind of sickness.

And /seeing /the multitudes, He /felt compassion /for them, because they were distressed and downcast like sheep without a shepherd.

Then He said to His disciples, “The harvest is plentiful, but the workers are few.

Therefore beseech the Lord of the harvest to send out workers into His harvest.

Here’s the sequence: Jesus went, saw, felt, and cared.

It’s only when we go and expose ourselves to various situations that we will see enough to develop the concern necessary to move us to action.

It’s difficult to become motivated to help people without first seeing and feeling their needs.

The secret is to spend time with them.

Only when you go and see will you feel and do.

Help—the Ability to Reach Out

 

Put simply, charismatic people are helpers.

They are out to see others profit; they have the gift of grace.

In fact, the Greek word of gift is “charisma” meaning “gift of grace.”

God has freely bestowed upon us spiritual gifts because of His grace toward us.

In Romans 12:6 we read about this further, “And since we have gifts that differ according to the grace given to us, let each exercise them accordingly.”

And we see in Ephesians 4:11-12, “He gave some as apostles, and some as prophets, and some as evangelists, and some as pastors and teachers, for the equipping of the saints for the work of service, to the building up of the body of Christ.”

Notice in both references the emphasis on the variety of gifts and their purpose in the kingdom.

It is always for other people, never for self.

There is no charisma in seclusion.

You can’t walk into a room and have charisma by yourself!

People have problems.

Many are like the beleaguered guy who, in desperation, went to a psychiatrist for help.

He told the doctor, “Every time I get my act together, the curtain falls down.”

He needed more than mercy and concern; he needed help.

You will find that if you are adept at solving problems, that will guarantee you a following forever.

My favorite cartoon character, Charlie Brown, displayed an attitude with which many of us can identify.

He and Linus were talking about their problems.

Linus said, “I guess it’s wrong always to be worrying about tomorrow.

Maybe we should think only about today.”

Charlie Brown replied, “No, that’s giving up.

I’m still hoping that yesterday will get better.”

What can you do to help people with their problems?

First of all, encourage them to face their problems.

Too often people would rather flee them, fight them, or forget them.

Second, encourage them to solve their problems.

Use the following acrostic to teach yourself to help people with difficulties.

T Tell them it takes /time./

E /Expose /yourself to their problems in order to relate to them.

A /Assure /them of your confidence in them.

C Creatively show them how to deal with their problems.

H Offer hope/ /to them through the process.

I love this old story about creative problem-solving.

Mr. Myrick had to go to Chicago on business and persuaded his brother to take care of his cat during his absence.

Mr. Myrick’s brother was not a cat-lover, but he agreed to do it as a favor.

When Mr. Myrick returned from his trip he called his brother from the airport to inform him of his arrival and to check on his cat.

The brother reported in a matter-of-fact tone,

 

“Your cat died,” and he hung up.

For days Myrick was inconsolable.

Then his sadness turned to anger at his brother for being so brutally honest and insensitive.

He phoned his brother.

“It was needlessly cruel and sadistic of you to tell me that bluntly that my poor cat had passed away.”

“What did you expect me to do?” demanded the brother.

“You could have broken the bad news gradually,” grum­bled Myrick.

“First you could have said the cat was playing on the roof.

Later you could have called to say he fell off.

The next morning you could have reported he had broken his leg.

Then, when I came to pick him up, you could have told me he passed away during the night.