Mark 10 2-16 2006
Pentecost 20
Mark 10:2-16
October 22, 2006
“Holy Marriage”
Thirty years ago divorce was relatively rare. It was the exception to the rule. Today, however, our society has come to view marriage as little more than a temporary agreement by two people to remain together “as long as we both shall love.”
We are painfully aware that this same attitude has begun to infiltrate and influence the members of God’s church. But changes in society and changes in the attitudes of Christians do not change the will of the one who instituted marriage. It is, admittedly, a difficult subject, but it is one that God’s people need to hear about.
First of all, I think we all can say that marriage is serious business. God takes marriage seriously. This is evident in that after creation one of the first things that God did was institute marriage between a man and woman. Jesus too, addresses the issue of what God intends for us in marriage. In our gospel text for today, the Pharisees were testing Jesus. "Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife?" they asked. And they reminded Jesus that Moses allowed a man to write a certificate of divorce. Jesus answered them by going back to the Genesis account of the first marriage. "Have you not read," he said, "that he who made them from the beginning made them male and female and said, ˜For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one?' So they are no longer two but one. What therefore God has joined together let no man put asunder (Matthew 19:4-6)." This answer surely shocked the Pharisees. In Jesus' time no one questioned the legitimacy of divorce. The only question was what constituted adequate grounds for divorce; and Jesus said there were no grounds for divorce. "What God had joined together . . ."
God takes marriage seriously. We need to see that. That's why, in the Ten Commandments, "Thou shall not commit adultery . . ." is included right along with "Thou shall not kill . . ." and Thou shall not steal . . ." God takes marriage seriously. Jesus took marriage seriously. There were many things that Jesus was considered quite liberal on for the day in which he lived. Here is he downright reactionary. "What . . . God has joined together, let no man put asunder (Matthew 19:4-6)." Let no person break apart. Does that mean that Jesus would have nothing to do with divorced persons? Not in the least. We read about his encounter with the woman at the well who had lived with several men, or the woman who had been caught in the act of adultery. No one was more compassionate than Jesus. Jesus knew about human weakness and frailty. Jesus met no one he could not forgive and have a relationship with. Still, he took marriage seriously and so should we. No relationship strikes more at the center of what it means to be human than does marriage. The end of a marriage can be devastating even more devastating than death. And the effects on children are well known and well documented. Those are the facts. Of course, each situation is different and we respect that. Still, the breakup of a family is serious business, because God takes marriage seriously.
The second thing that we have to say is that there are no perfect marriages. In spite of what you might have heard, no marriage is truly made in heaven. Good marriages are made through a lot of give-and-take, through hard tough work, through communication and forgiveness. Good, not perfect, marriages take commitment.
There is a story about one woman who accompanied her husband to the doctor for his physical. The doctor asked her for a private conversation before they left the office. "Your husband," the doctor said, "your husband is sick and is under great stress. You must devote your life to sheltering him. Don't argue or disagree with him. Get up early each morning and fix his favorite breakfast. Spend the morning cleaning the house, but have a nice lunch ready at noon if he happens to come home. The afternoon you can spend on outside work, but make sure there's a special dinner waiting for him when he returns. The evening hours may be spent watching a game with him on TV, followed by romance should he be interested. This must be your schedule to help him through this." The wife left the office, picked up her husband, and drove him home. "Well." asked the husband, "what did the doctor say?" "He said," replied the wife, "that you're going to die." (2)
Of course this is the extreme, and it says nothing about the husbands love or commitment to his wife. We understand that the ideal marriages is as elusive as catching mist in I our hands. Unfortunately this has been our earthly reality since our fall into sin. After all, show me a perfect marriage in the Bible. Adam and Eve? I bet they had a long talk after God left the garden and their family…one of their boys murdered the other. I doubt they had the perfect home. Abraham and Sarah? Abraham tried to pass her off as his sister. She could have ended up in Pharaoh’s harem if the Pharaoh had not been compassionate. Isaac and Rebekah? Are you kidding me, deceit, treachery, envy became a way of life in their household as each tried to advance the fortune of his or her favorite son. How about the blessed mother of our Lord Jesus and His stepfather Joseph? Perhaps they were an example of marital bliss. But would you classify a marriage as perfect when even before the wedding ceremony the husband plans to quietly divorce his new bride as soon as they are married because he thinks she is carrying another man's child?
God still intends to bless us through marriage. That is why we look for the best words possible to express our love and commitment in the marriage ceremony. Yet so often we seem to fail. Half of new marriages today do not last. Why is that? Maybe we haven't helped our young people understand that marriage takes work. It is not an easy task for two independent, strong-minded persons to become one flesh. Here are two people from differing home environments, differing expectations from life, and differing dreams for the future . . . and to make matters worse, one is male and one is female!
There is a best selling book called MEN ARE FROM MARS, WOMEN ARE FROM VENUS. It tells us about the differences between men and woman. It is true, Men and women are different, but in wonderful ways! They are different physically, of course, but they are also different mentally and emotionally. For instance, studies show that boy babies sleep less and are more active than girl babies. Women, overall, have a better memory for names and faces than men. Women are faster and more accurate in tasks requiring manual dexterity. If a woman is stuck behind an unmoving car she is less likely to blow her horn, or her top, than a man is. This was proven in my family on our last summer vacation. And surprise, surprise women are more likely to ask for directions when driving. Women smile more than men. The point is that men and women are different. And naturally this causes tension. Sometimes it causes pain, sometimes anger.
You are probably familiar with the dumb blonde jokes that were popular a few years back. Did you know that there was a DUMB MAN'S JOKE BOOK published not long after? For example, what's the difference between a man and a cat? One is a finicky eater who couldn't care less if you lived or died; the other is a house pet. Do you know what it means to come home to a man who'll give you a little love, a little affection, a little tenderness? It means you're in the wrong house. Men and women are different. Family backgrounds are different. Different people have different pictures in their minds of what an ideal marriage should be. Even more important, we are all sinners. We all have flaws that need to be forgiven, not only once in a while, but everyday of our lives.
But this brings me to the most important thing I can say today. God, in spite of our imperfections and differences wants to and will bless us through marriage. By the grace of God, good marriages and even great marriages are possible. All of creation was broken when man fell into sin. Suffering entered into all aspects of our lives. Our relationship with God was broken and our relationships with each other were broken. Certainly the husband wife relationship was broken. Yet God in His great love and mercy has made things right. Through Jesus death on the cross when his life was broken, when His life blood was shed, brings us back into communion that is a right relationship with God. It is through the forgiveness of sins that is freely offered to us that we can have a relationship with our Heavenly Father. It is through Jesus Christ and His cross that we can be blessed in marriage the way that God intends. As we understand the forgiveness that we are given, as we forgive each other as husbands and wives, our marriages can be what God wants them to be…Christ centered, cross centered life giving and life fulfilling. We are not at a loss as to how the blessing of marriage is to be expressed in our lives. The apostle Paul tells us. As Christ gave Himself for His bride, the church, so husbands most love their wives…….. Men may simply fly past this statement and get to the part where we here what God wants the women to do but we better not. “Love your wives like Christ loved the church”, is a loaded statement filled with meaning. How is it that Christ loved the church? How was His love expressed? It was expressed in compassion, care, and understanding, by taking care of all the needs of the people that came to Him, needs of both body and soul. He came to heal those that were hurting and suffering. We are told of His gentle leading. We are told that He came to serve and not to be served. One of the only times that someone was slaving away in the kitchen to serve him; we are told that she made the lesser choice. Then His love was expressed as He died on the cross to give His bride life. Knowing who are Savior is and what He has done and what He still does for us, which one of us would not submit to Him or His will. For He has said, “My yoke is easy, and My burden light. Husbands, love is not expressed in giving a few roses one day a year, it too is expressed in compassion care, and understanding. It is expressed when we care for our wives by taking care of their every need, of body and soul. We are to satisfy them mentally, emotionally, physically, and spiritually. We are to listen to them. Then, and only then, perhaps our wives will respond in a God pleasing way, submitting and respecting our God given responsibility of headship in the family. Jesus was not a dictator demanding His own way. Rather He is our gentle shepherd that gently leads us. As we follow our Lord, God does bless our marriages. No one will ever improve on it. One man and one woman becoming one flesh until death do they part. That is the plan. We may be different but God puts us together and we are made complete.
Perhaps you saw the original "Rocky" film before Sylvester Stallone. Do you remember the love relationship Rocky had with Adrian in "Rocky?" She was the little wallflower who worked in the pet shop, the sister of Pauly, an insensitive goon who worked at the meat house and wanted to become a collector of debts for a loan shark. Pauly couldn't understand why Rocky was attracted to Adrian. "I don't see it," he said. "What's the attraction?" Do you remember Rocky's answer? Rocky said, "I don't know, fills gaps I guess." "What's gaps?" asks Pauly. "She's got gaps," says Rocky, "I got gaps. Together we fill gaps." In his simple but profound way, Rocky hit upon a great truth. He was saying that he and Adrian each had empty places in their lives. But when the two of them got together, they filled those blank spots in one another.
Those great marriages occur when two people commit themselves to God and to one another . . . to become one flesh until death do they part. It is not an easy task, but with God's help it can be done.
Today our marriages face some difficult obstacles, certainly divorce is one of them but also there is a new movement, spawned by Satan, to undermine the institution of marriage as God understand it…being between one man and one women. This coming election you will be asked to vote either for or against the marriage amendment. The advertisers against it would have you believe that if you vote no nothing will change. Are you so certain?
3330 Take Him “As Is” - Parson: “Do you take this man for better or worse?”
Mandy: “He can’t be no worse, and they is no hopes of his gettin’ any better, so I takes him “as is.””
"It happened at the altar," by Donna Sinclair, THE UNITED CHURCH OBSERVER, June 1996, pp. 30-34.
THE JOKESMITH.
Nan Tucket, THE DUMB MEN JOKE BOOK (New York: A Time Warner Company, 1992).
Dennis and Barbara Rainey, MOMENTS TOGETHER FOR COUPLES (Ventura, CA: Regal Books, 1995).
Collected Sermons, King Duncan, Dynamic Preaching, 2005, 0-000-0000-20
Tan, P. L. (1996, c1979). Encyclopedia of 7700 illustrations : A treasury of illustrations, anecdotes, facts and quotations for pastors, teachers and Christian workers. Garland TX: Bible Communications.