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Pentecost 20
Mark 10:2-16
October 22, 2006
*“Holy Marriage”*
Thirty years ago divorce was relatively rare.
It was the exception to the rule.
Today, however, our society has come to view marriage as little more than a temporary agreement by two people to remain together “as long as we both shall love.”
We are painfully aware that this same attitude has begun to infiltrate and influence the members of God’s church.
But changes in society and changes in the attitudes of Christians do not change the will of the one who instituted marriage.
It is, admittedly, a difficult subject, but it is one that God’s people need to hear about.
First of all, I think we all can say that marriage is serious business.
God takes marriage seriously.
This is evident in that after creation one of the first things that God did was institute marriage between a man and woman.
Jesus too, addresses the issue of what God intends for us in marriage.
In our gospel text for today, the Pharisees were testing Jesus.
"Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife?" they asked.
And they reminded Jesus that Moses allowed a man to write a certificate of divorce.
Jesus answered them by going back to the Genesis account of the first marriage.
"Have you not read," he said, "that he who made them from the beginning made them male and female and said, ˜For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one?'
So they are no longer two but one.
What therefore God has joined together let no man put asunder (Matthew 19:4-6)."
This answer surely shocked the Pharisees.
In Jesus' time no one questioned the legitimacy of divorce.
The only question was what constituted adequate grounds for divorce; and Jesus said there were no grounds for divorce.
"What God had joined together . .
."
God takes marriage seriously.
We need to see that.
That's why, in the Ten Commandments, "Thou shall not commit adultery . .
." is included right along with "Thou shall not kill . .
." and Thou shall not steal . .
."
God takes marriage seriously.
Jesus took marriage seriously.
There were many things that Jesus was considered quite liberal on for the day in which he lived.
Here is he downright reactionary.
"What . . .
God has joined together, let no man put asunder (Matthew 19:4-6)."
Let no person break apart.
Does that mean that Jesus would have nothing to do with divorced persons?
Not in the least.
We read about his encounter with the woman at the well who had lived with several men, or the woman who had been caught in the act of adultery.
No one was more compassionate than Jesus.
Jesus knew about human weakness and frailty.
Jesus met no one he could not forgive and have a relationship with.
Still, he took marriage seriously and so should we.
No relationship strikes more at the center of what it means to be human than does marriage.
The end of a marriage can be devastating even more devastating than death.
And the effects on children are well known and well documented.
Those are the facts.
Of course, each situation is different and we respect that.
Still, the breakup of a family is serious business, because God takes marriage seriously.
The second thing that we have to say is that there are no perfect marriages.
In spite of what you might have heard, no marriage is truly made in heaven.
Good marriages are made through a lot of give-and-take, through hard tough work, through communication and forgiveness.
Good, not perfect, marriages take commitment.
There is a story about one woman who accompanied her husband to the doctor for his physical.
The doctor asked her for a private conversation before they left the office.
"Your husband," the doctor said, "your husband is sick and is under great stress.
You must devote your life to sheltering him.
Don't argue or disagree with him.
Get up early each morning and fix his favorite breakfast.
Spend the morning cleaning the house, but have a nice lunch ready at noon if he happens to come home.
The afternoon you can spend on outside work, but make sure there's a special dinner waiting for him when he returns.
The evening hours may be spent watching a game with him on TV, followed by romance should he be interested.
This must be your schedule to help him through this."
The wife left the office, picked up her husband, and drove him home.
"Well."
asked the husband, "what did the doctor say?" "He said," replied the wife, "that you're going to die." (2)
Of course this is the extreme, and it says nothing about the husbands love or commitment to his wife.
We understand that the ideal marriages is as elusive as catching mist in I our hands.
Unfortunately this has been our earthly reality since our fall into sin.
After all, show me a perfect marriage in the Bible.
Adam and Eve?
I bet they had a long talk after God left the garden and their family…one of their boys murdered the other.
I doubt they had the perfect home.
Abraham and Sarah?
Abraham tried to pass her off as his sister.
She could have ended up in Pharaoh’s harem if the Pharaoh had not been compassionate.
Isaac and Rebekah?
Are you kidding me, deceit, treachery, envy became a way of life in their household as each tried to advance the fortune of his or her favorite son.
How about the blessed mother of our Lord Jesus and His stepfather Joseph?
Perhaps they were an example of marital bliss.
But would you classify a marriage as perfect when even before the wedding ceremony the husband plans to quietly divorce his new bride as soon as they are married because he thinks she is carrying another man's child?
God still intends to bless us through marriage.
That is why we look for the best words possible to express our love and commitment in the marriage ceremony.
Yet so often we seem to fail.
Half of new marriages today do not last.
Why is that?
Maybe we haven't helped our young people understand that marriage takes work.
It is not an easy task for two independent, strong-minded persons to become one flesh.
Here are two people from differing home environments, differing expectations from life, and differing dreams for the future . . .
and to make matters worse, one is male and one is female!
There is a best selling book called MEN ARE FROM MARS, WOMEN ARE FROM VENUS.
It tells us about the differences between men and woman.
It is true, Men and women are different, but in wonderful ways!
They are different physically, of course, but they are also different mentally and emotionally.
For instance, studies show that boy babies sleep less and are more active than girl babies.
Women, overall, have a better memory for names and faces than men.
Women are faster and more accurate in tasks requiring manual dexterity.
If a woman is stuck behind an unmoving car she is less likely to blow her horn, or her top, than a man is.
This was proven in my family on our last summer vacation.
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