A Transformed Home
Notes
Transcript
Handout
Introduction
Introduction
last week we spoke about a loving Home and how we should walk in love, in holiness, and wisdom in order to keep our home a loving home.
Today I want us to explore the thought of having a transformed home. We are continuing in ephesians 5 this morning where the Apostle Paul writes to the church at Ephesus and in verses 8-20 he present to them an analysis of how Christ changes us.
Follow along with me as I read this morning
Ephesians 5:8-20
8 For ye were sometimes darkness, but now are ye light in the Lord: walk as children of light:
9 (For the fruit of the Spirit is in all goodness and righteousness and truth;)
10 Proving what is acceptable unto the Lord.
11 And have no fellowship with the unfruitful works of darkness, but rather reprove them.
12 For it is a shame even to speak of those things which are done of them in secret.
13 But all things that are reproved are made manifest by the light: for whatsoever doth make manifest is light.
14 Wherefore he saith, Awake thou that sleepest, and arise from the dead, and Christ shall give thee light.
15 See then that ye walk circumspectly, not as fools, but as wise,
16 Redeeming the time, because the days are evil.
17 Wherefore be ye not unwise, but understanding what the will of the Lord is.
18 And be not drunk with wine, wherein is excess; but be filled with the Spirit;
19 Speaking to yourselves in psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, singing and making melody in your heart to the Lord;
20 Giving thanks always for all things unto God and the Father in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ;
PRAY
When a caterpillar becomes a butterfly it bears no resemblance to that caterpillar when it comes out of the cocoon. A home that is transformed by Christ will bear no resemblance to the world it came out of.
How does that happen? How can we transform a home?
So often we believe transformation happens when something looks different. How many of you know this couple?
(Chip and Joanna, Fixer Upper) love their show, love their Christian values, and I’m thankful for what they do. If we ever move to Waco, we are calling them first.
Many would say they transform a home. But do they really?
(Box, paint, paint brush, gum, tv remove, cell phone, table to set it on, towel to clean)
-Put all of the items into the box (gum=mouth, tv remove=what’s consumed in the mind and heart, cell phone=what’s communicated and is important)
-close the box
-Paint the outside
Has this box been transformed? No. It’s conformed to an image that people thing it should have to appear as though it is something else when in all actuality it is still full of exactly what it was before.
Your home won’t be transformed because you look different, just because you put church on your schedule, it won’t be transformed because you try to act differently to fit in. Your home will only be transformed when you allow the Holy Spirit to affect what’s on the inside.
It all begins with a change of identity
I. Change of Identity
I. Change of Identity
Paul starts by defining who we were
A. Who we were
A. Who we were
We used to be darkness
Ecc 7:20
20 For there is not a just man upon earth, that doeth good, and sinneth not.
We all have sin. Our works of righteousness are filthy rags according to Isaiah. Without Christ we are slaves to sin.
Rom 6:6
6 Knowing this, that our old man is crucified with him, that the body of sin might be destroyed, that henceforth we should not serve sin.
Last we I told you 4 things we have to accept. One of them is accepting that we are not perfect. We are not good. We are servants to sin.
Without Christ our identity is wrapped up in the things of the world, our pride, our abilities, our money, our authority in the home and anything else. But through Christ, through faith in Jesus’ death burial and resurrection, we can have a gospel centered identity.
Where do you find your identity? Do you know how to find out? Let me help you. What are things in your life that if a person were to questions, critique, or even attack you get very defensive of?
If your a musician, it’s very easy to find your identity in your music and when someone offers an opinion or critique, you get offended because you find your identity there. If you have an idea and someone squashes it or disagrees with it you take up a major offense, you’ve found your identity in that idea. Now, I’m not saying as Christians we are to just roll over on issues or anything like that. What I am telling you is that when you find your identity in anything other than Christ, you risk harming the cause of Christ and the work of the Holy Spirit because you’ll take offense and hurt your testimony with that purpose.
The root of this, is pride. When we find our identity in something of this world apart from Christ we typically make statements like “Well, I think…Well I wouldn’t have....Well I…I....I...” That’s who we were....
But through Christ, we can see who we are.
B. Who we are
B. Who we are
Through Christ we will find that we are children of light. I don’t disagree that light exposes darkness and the closer you get to the Son, Jesus, the more of your sin that will be exposed.
But we can’t let our fear of discovering our darkness keep from entering into the light of Christ.
Now I think that’s a cool statement…but what does that mean.
You can’t let your fear of what God can do with your life, you can’t let your fear of your friends, family, and change keep you from Jesus. Many get saved and get their fire insurance but don’t ever truly allow themselves to be closer to Christ. If you have put your faith in Jesus as your Savior, then God is calling you closer to Him.
This process is called “Sanctification.” That’s the theological term that defines your growth as a Christian. No, it’s not that your becoming more saint like. The Bible definition of a Saint is anyone who has trusted Jesus as their Savior. So, congrats, you made it.
Being sanctified begins when we find our identity in Christ. As you work as an individual husband, mother, teenager, child, to get closer to Christ you will find the identity of your home will be wrapped up in Him rather than anything else.
When our identity is found in Christ we will see a change of Character
II. Change of Character
II. Change of Character
Sanctification takes place as we get closer to God by knowing Him more and yielding to the Holy Spirit to change who we are. It’s not just about changing from immodest clothing to modest, from swearing to not swearing, or from one sinful act to a non sinful act.
Anyone can act for a period of time. Behavior change is conformity…heart change is transformation.
As your heart changes and aligns more with Jesus you will find your apparel will change, your language will change, Why? because your desires change. You begin finding your identity in Christ and want others to see Him rather than you.
This is what begins to take you from revelers to reprovers
A. From Revelers to Reprovers
A. From Revelers to Reprovers
11 And have no fellowship with the unfruitful works of darkness, but rather reprove them.
One of the best ways to study your Bible is not to just read or listen to it, it is by asking questions. In fact, most of what I preach, comes from reading, asking questions, finding answers, and delivering them to you.
here in this verse you’ll notice a phrase that can be ambiguous if not defined. “Unfruitful works of darkness”
We could all come up with something that be placed in that category but I wanted us to turn to the Bible for our definition if possible.
Look here at
Rom 13:12-13
12 The night is far spent, the day is at hand: let us therefore cast off the works of darkness, and let us put on the armour of light.
13 Let us walk honestly, as in the day; not in rioting and drunkenness, not in chambering and wantonness, not in strife and envying.
Verse 12 says to cast off or get away from the works of darkness and in verse 13 says “walk honest, as in the day” and then goes on about things not to do which I’m going to believe are things done in the darkness of night based upon the activities listed.
Roman culture was one that was given over to drunkeness and promiscuity so Paul is definitely making application that these believers would understand.
I want to define these words for you so bear with me and learn
Rioting means partying. I associate that with not caring. When you’re at a party your there for fun, you’re there for yourself, and your seeking to be entertained so that you can forget all that’s going on around you.
Chambering is a reference to immorality. That again goes back to seeking pleasure outside of God’s plan. Seeking things only for yourself.
Strife is quarreling and contention. To quarrel means to have a heated argument about a trivial issue. Where does that come from?
Prov 13:10
10 Only by pride cometh contention: But with the well advised is wisdom.
Pride, a focus on self.
Envying means jealousy or to begurdgingly desire. Now, in a home context let me say this. Sir, Ma’am, your spouse has every right to be jealous of you. Why? Because you made a vow to love them them and only them. If your spouse says they are jealous, don’t get angry. Do 2 things. 1: Be grateful they love you enough to be jealous aren’t just telling you to run off with someone 2. Stop whatever behavior is causing the situations to arise that bring them jealousy.
However there is a bad form of jealously that comes from lust. that’s desiring something that someone else has or being jealous of them getting things your not. That goes back to a focus on self.
So what are the unfruitful works of darkness? They may be many but I believe that we can say they are all rooted in pride. They are all rooted in selfishness and a focus that is not on Christ.
In your home, when you being looking at for numero uno, you will find yourself spend a lot of time with number 1…and maybe only number 1.
Paul is saying to have NO part in that type of life. but rather reprove them.
While easy to misconstrue the “them” as people, that’s not what the word is referring to. It is referring to the unfruitful works of darkness, which we now see are rooted in pride and selfishness. We are to reprove pride and selfishness in our hearts. What does reprove mean?
While this word carries with it today the context of reprimanded and correcting, which isn’t entirely incorrect, I want us to go to more of the root of this word and see it for how I think we should apply it and that is to reject. When we reject the behavior of our child we reprove them and seek to have it corrected.
We reject the unfruitful works of darkness of pride and selfishness in our lives by yielding to the Holy Spirit as He convicts based upon…not emotion…not culture…on the Word of God.
Changing character will move you from a reveler to a reprover and from stooge to sensible.
B. From Stooge to Sensible
B. From Stooge to Sensible
Now, while there are probably many different ideas as to what a stooge is I want you to see what is being referred to as a stooge or a fool today.
We are to walk circumspectly… this means to walk diligently
Take a look at this 40 second video and see the difference between walking circumspectly and well…not.
[video]
See how the cat navigated the legos? Dad’s, isn’t that how we wish we navigated legos?
Now the intent behind this text is not just to tell us to watch where we step when walking down the street. The word for walk is meant to convey an idea of how you live. You are to live diligently, not as fools but as wise men and women living in the light of Christ.
It’s the stooge who just barrels through life with no regard for what he is interacting with or what consequences his actions will have on his life or the lives of others.
This requires us to be diligent with our time and to redeem it for things that matter more for eternity than for the moment.
Now I’m note tell you you can’t live in the moment and enjoy the time with your family and friends. I am telling you that if the events of that moment have any negative impact the things that matter for eternity, you need to walk away from that moment.
I seek to keep my life pretty scheduled. This helps me to redeem the time with my work and my home life. If we don’t plan what we will do we will do something we didn’t plan.
We will look back on our time and say “what did I do this week?” or “I felt like I was really busy but didn’t accomplish anything.”
When we redeem the time from the frivolousness of life that can stem from selfishness and pride, remember the unfruitful works of darkness, we are living with an understanding of the will of the Lord.
Wisdom begins with a loving reverence for God and continues with application of His Word in our lives.
Jesus said “if ye love me, keep my commandments”
The commandments Jesus gave in relation to that statement are not ones listed on a stone tablet. They were not written in Leviticus or the other books of the law. Well, kind of.
Matt 22:37-40
37 Jesus said unto him, Thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy mind.
38 This is the first and great commandment.
39 And the second is like unto it, Thou shalt love thy neighbour as thyself.
40 On these two commandments hang all the law and the prophets.
The application of these two laws in our lives can and will look different. So don’t think because your home operates differently than someone elses it means your home is less of a godly home. That is not the case at all.
Maybe you and your kids connect over video games, great! play video games. Maybe you connect through fishing, great! go fishing. Just be sure to utilize the time wisely to love, teach, and grow them in the nurture and admonishen of the Lord. For if not, then you are living as a stooge not using the time wisely.
Paul goes on from this to speak on being drunk with wine.
What does being drunk with wine have anything to do with what we’ve been talking about? Great question. Since you asked, I’ll answer.
Have you ever seen a drunk person be productive for the kingdom of God? Me neither.
Pastor does this mean we shouldn’t drink alcohol? Another great question.
I believe it is best to put separation from yourself and sin. It is a sin to be drunk. I’d rather not put myself in a position where that is possible than allow myself to get close to it. Now, as a pastor I can’t drink…those that are in spiritual leadership positions at this church can’t drink if they want to continue to serve.
But Pastor, it helps me take the edge off…By taking the edge off we are saying that it helps us cope with the stress and anxiety of life. I believe there are many other ways to cope with what is going on around you…have you tried prayer? I don’t mean trite, ritualistic, repetitious words…I mean pouring your heart out to God and casting all your care on Him because He cares for you? I mean seeking the peace of the Holy Spirit of God that passes all understanding?
I believe seeking God to help you take the edge off and is better path to stress release that sets a great example for your kids, peers, and anyone else that also, and more importantly, strengthens your walk with the Lord.
Our Character changes and we go from revelers to reprovers and from stooges to sensible people.
Lastly we see that the third key to having a transformed life and a transformed home is a change of context
III. Change of Context
III. Change of Context
Eph 5:19-20
19 Speaking to yourselves in psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, singing and making melody in your heart to the Lord;
20 Giving thanks always for all things unto God and the Father in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ;
When you find your identity in Christ and your character is developed around Him and not you or things that you believe define you, the context, the situation, in which you find your life, will change.
I don’t mean you’ll have more money and better health. I mean that you will find yourself and your family, focused on things that you may have been neglecting before.
You’ll find yourself loving God
A. Loving God
A. Loving God
You may be listening today and think “Pastor I do love God” Ok, I’m not questioning or doubting your love for Him. I just want you to ask yourself how have you shown that love in the last week or month?
Here in Ephesians we see that being filled with the Spirit, being yielded to Him, results in praising God in song. Now I’m not saying that’s the only way to praise Him but it’s apparent throughout scripture that God is worshiped through music and song.
So to all the men that are like I used to be, ladies too but it’s mostly men, first know I don’t mean this to offend, but if you sing every song in church like this....make sure it’s not because your heart isn’t in the place to worship God.
In your home, Christian music and acts of worship and praise to God should not be foreign. It’s a great conversation to have at the dinner table “What did you love about today? What did you learn about today? What did can you thank or worship God for today?”
Being thankful to the Lord is a cornerstone of Christianity.
Going through hard times? Dealing with difficult situations?
Phil 4:6
6 Be careful for nothing; but in every thing by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known unto God.
Be full of care for nothing. Why? Because you don’t control most of the stuff you worry about anyway. Go to God in prayer, making requests to Him with thanksgiving on your heart for anything and everything.
Loving God leads to Loving Others
B. Loving Others
B. Loving Others
Submitting yourselves one to another....
We see submission as something to be ran from in American Culture and believe if we are serving others they are just walking all over us or we are being taken advantage of.
Now I will say this has to be done circumspectly with wisdom but love and serving others should not be something we shy away from. It should be something we pursue.
If you pursued loving and serving your spouse and kids more, do you think you’d have the fights you have? I’m not just talking to the ladies in the room.
So will you? Will you decide to have a transformed home? Will you find your identity in Christ? Will you let your character be shaped by the gospel? Will you let your context be affected by these truths?
Time of Response
Time of Response
As we enter our time of response this morning I’d like to ask you to bow your heads and close your eyes.
All of what I said today, the changes in identity, character, and context, are something that any of us could fake for a period of time. However if your wanting to see your life and home transformed you can’t just fake it till you make it.
It takes Jesus. It takes faith in the gospel.
Maybe your here this morning and you had never heard that message of salvation? You had never heard that it didn’t take works or baptism, or anything else.
16 For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life.
23 For all have sinned, and come short of the glory of God;
23 For the wages of sin is death; but the gift of God is eternal life through Jesus Christ our Lord.
8 For by grace are ye saved through faith; and that not of yourselves: it is the gift of God:
9 Not of works, lest any man should boast.
Rom 10:9, 13
9 That if thou shalt confess with thy mouth the Lord Jesus, and shalt believe in thine heart that God hath raised him from the dead, thou shalt be saved.
13 For whosoever shall call upon the name of the Lord shall be saved.
Christians…where have you been finding your identity? What’s been offending you and hurting your home?
Is your character still based upon personal opinion or the world’s philosophies?
Is the context of your home not based upon Biblical principles and truth?
Decide to change that today.
If you’d like to trust jesus as your savior this morning you can call out to Him in prayer and say something like this:
“Dear Jesus, I know I’m a sinner, I believe you came to die on the cross and rose from the dead. I put my faith right now in you and ask you to come into my life and change me from the inside out. Amen.”
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