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Welcome back to our fifth installment of our series, “The Ten Biggest Struggles of Your Life.”
So far, we have navigated that our God, Yahweh, the God of Israel, Jacob, and Abraham is a different kind of god.
He is unlike any other divine being - he is on a tier all of his own.
And unfortunately for us, our struggle comes in the form of wanting to worship other gods, other things, than the one God who has freed us from the bondage of sin, pain, trauma, and death.
He is the God who brought Israel out of slavery.
He is not contained in idols or images.
He is a God who’s name will be used rightly - to pursue divine love, grace, mercy, justice, and righteousness.
He is a God that gives the gift of rest to a people who were forced to work relentlessly by lesser gods, like Pharaoh and systems of consumption.
Today our commandment makes a distinct shift.
It pivots.
We move from a vertical focus into a horizontal focus.
From looking at how we interact with God into how we interact with those beside us.
And he focuses it on the people who make the largest imprint upon our lives — our parents.
God tells us in Exodus 20:12
A Test...
And funny enough, on Monday morning the Lord placed a test before me.
I found an email from my father where he forwarded a “devotional” message from a well-known Christian ministry with little context as to why he sent it.
But this devotional was titled “Where Socialism Leads...” and used Isaiah 11:1-9 to defend its position that God is specifically against socialism.
Now, I am not making any argument about governing structures — all man-made systems fall short and are used in harmful ways regardless if it is capitalism, socialism, or another.
And please, I beg you, do not come up to me afterwards and talk to me about socialism.
This devotional was not proclaiming the good news, but a political ideology hidden in biblical language.
Isaiah 11:1-9 speaks of the coming Messiah and how he will reign justly and righteously.
So, here I am between a rock and a hard place.
I want to honor my father, but I cannot allow the scriptures to be twisted to fit a political identity.
In addition to this, my father and I do not have a great track record of thoughtful discourse emails — I’m just being frank with ya’ll.
Communicating with those you love is difficult.
So, I gently pushed back by questioning the intention of the Christian celebrity and made it clear that I was not attacking my father.
I presented an accurate reading of Isaiah 11:1-9 that praised God and Jesus for his power and plan to save.
And I was anxious — upon hitting the send button I noticed that my armpits looked like they went for a swim.
Do ya’ll want to know what his reply to my email was?
He said, “I’m very impressed with your reply.”
Nailed it.
Honored dad.
I’m good, so lets look at how ya’ll can honor your parents today.
I say that in jest because I have a lot of work to do on this.
I am worse than most.
Honoring our parents is difficult work and part of that is because we often do not understand what God means when he says, “honor your father and mother.”
Often, loving those who are the closest to us is the most difficult thing.
Or what do we do if our parents were abusive?
God surely wouldn’t want us to provide honor to evil parents.
So, lets look.
Honor Your Father and Mother
We’re going to look at our passage from Exodus 20, break it down, then look forward to how Christ fulfilled this, and how we can honor our parents the way we are called to today.
Turn back to our passage found in Exodus 20:12.
If you have your Bibles, lets open to them and read together.
We’re gonna break it down piece by piece beginning with that word: Honor.
Honor brings the understanding of giving respect, value, worth that is appropriate for them.
A paraphrase could be, “give them the weight of authority that they deserve.”
In the ancient near east, parents were to be highly valued, cared for, and respected.
And there is a reason for this — the parent/child relationship is the most potent human analogy for understanding Israel’s relationship to God.
So, God speaks to the adult children of Israel about honoring their parents.
So, what does God mean by honor?
What actions are to be included?
Does it mean that we do whatever they say no matter what?
What if they are wrong?
Would we ever outgrow this?
Questions like these ask too much from the 10 words/commandments.
Remember, they are not descriptive.
They instead provide a general pattern of conduct on how God wants the Israelites to live.
So, how we do this?
It is a matter of continual reflect by the Israelites (and us) as they continued to live and grow in the shadow of God’s love and protection.
But, God does provide Israel with a few examples in the following chapters.
Look at Exodus 21:15
I mean, that’s pretty heavy — but we jail people for elder abuse.
We have a responsibility to care, whether it is financially or physically, for our parents when they are in need.
That means keeping them from car warranty scams or speaking up for them when they are being abused in the assisted living facility.
We can also consider Exodus 21:17
Also, pretty harsh.
I’m sure most of us have said some pretty harsh words to our parents at some point.
When we see curse used so closely with the 5th commandment, it is making a direct connection.
Curse is the antonym of honor.
It does mean specifically that we are not speak harsh words.
Sometimes, a corrective word is needed.
Rather this means to abuse, disrespect, or denigrate.
You can communicate clearly in a respectable way to your abusive parent why they cannot see their grandchildren.
You are not to emotionally manipulate them to serve you like a god.
As the Mosaic law was prescriptive, the focus is based around how we do the thing — and in this case if you are cursing someone, you are clearly not in union with God nor in union with his love.
It is pretty clear that God expected the people of Israel, the community as a whole, to care and honor their parents.
If they, as a community of adults, honored their parents, then the next generation would witness how to honor and live long in the land God is giving them.
It was not the action of one person, but every person.
The pattern of conduct God instructed created a social system that cared for those who could not care for themselves in old age.
It created a system which one did not take the investments of the parents and then cut them off, but returned the kindness to them.
This seems like pretty simple stuff, right?
Do right to those who brought you up — regardless of who they are and what they have done.
But I want us to take a moment to look at Jesus and what he had to say.
Jesus says...
There are several mind boggling things Jesus says and does concerning parents that make us question, “how is that honoring our parents?”
As a young child, Jesus disappears and creates worry in Mary and Joseph until they find him at the temple.
How is that honoring your parents?
Or consider what Jesus says in Matthew 10:34-37
Huh?
I have come to turn man against father — his enemies will be the members of his household.
Or consider how he treats his biological mother in Matthew 12:46-50
I don’t want us to leave with the impression that Jesus did not keep the 5th commandment.
Scripture tells us he came to fulfill the law and the prophets.
He lived sinless, perfect — but he rearranged how we think of honoring our parents.
Jesus does some things that would make us think, “how does that honor your parents?”
But here is the thing — he always honored them.
When Mary asked him to help the wedding guests in Cana, he turned water into wine.
He welcomed Mary into his ministry, she was even there at his death upon the cross.
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