Sermon Tone Analysis
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This is the definition of Love.
God is Love, so it also describes God’s character very well.
You can read this passage and understand it as a description of God’s perfect love for us.
But we’re going to look at it from the angle of us looking more and more like what this passage describes.
Is anybody intimidated yet?
This is a tall order and it seems so impossible.
I want to focus on the emotions, will, and the mind, in that order, and how it is possible to walk more and more in the reality of this passage.
Are we looking for perfection?
No. Can you reach perfection?
Maybe, but the goal really is looking more like Jesus.
I want to help us with renewing our hope in the working power of the gospel, particularly, as it applies to family relationships.
We want to look at these relationships with a hopefulness and faith.
The frame of mind is: it is possible to love, so we’re going to keep moving forward.
The Problem
I think one of the main reasons why it’s so difficult to become these things is that we tend to connect LOVE to an emotion, or we see LOVE as a mere emotion.
So, every time our emotions go out of wack, which can happen for any number of reasons, it seems like we’re back to square one.
Here’s what happens to me: I get a moment in time where there is nothingness.
I know the right thing to do, but I don’t do it.
I mean, anything is better than scrolling through videos on Facebook.
How about praying a bit, or just setting my mind on the things of God?
Not this guy.
As I’m wasting my time, I start feeling guilty and this feeling just builds.
By the time the kids ask me to help with something, I am immediately irritated.
I snap at them and then disappointment piles on.
The devil knows he’s about to throw a party with my emotional state.
This is perfect breeding ground for condemnation because I remember how I prayed that God would help me be more patient with my kids.
Square one.
In moments like that I feel so far removed from the new creation that God talks about.
I don’t feel saved and I don’t feel righteous.
It feels like Jesus and I need to start all over again.
Only now the issue is compounded because I start thinking of all the good things I could’ve done with that time, like writing an awesome sermon.
Sometimes, emotions can be so much in your face that the mandate to love like Jesus seem impossible.
Beholding the glory of the Lord and being transformed into the same image is no small feat.
I think that’s why Paul mentions here to take it a step at a time.
The verse right before that says...
I mean, that is a clear destination: “Where the Spirit of the Lord is”, that’s where we’re headed, and it’s a place of freedom.
My goal today is for you to read verses like 1 Corinthians 13:4-8 and it not seem so unreachable.
Can you be patient?
Can you be kind?
Can you see yourself not insisting on your own way?
Is it possible to not rejoice at wrongdoing? Can your love be…never-ending?
Imagine that.
And again, we’re not looking for perfection, but we want to move our relationships from the HOPELESS column to the HOPEFUL column.
That kind of thinking stimulates growth.
The Solution
In my teens Don Francisco had a song, “Love is not a feeling”.
The rest of it goes “it’s an act of your will”.
That song still jumps into my head when I think about love.
Now, I’m sure God didn’t mean for all of us to walk around without emotions, and we’re just plowing forward out of shear will.
God created emotions and emotions are good…and all the feelers sigh with relief.
However, I think that putting emotions in it’s place will help us discern the true nature of love.
Jesus demonstrates love so perfectly in the Garden of Gethsemane.
Here, Jesus is begging for his life.
He was at such a point of anguish that angels had to come and strengthen him, and his sweat even became like great drops of blood.
Led by emotions, Jesus would have been “I’m out”.
We’re saying that love is an act of your will, and that’s Level 2. But Jesus took it to Level 3 where he said "not my will, but yours, be done”.
He is submitting to the Father.
That didn’t just happen spontaneously, he needed a renewed will to do that.
You guys agree?
So, I think it’s super important, at this point, to figure out what you want.
Love or hate, as emotions, is more a side-effect of what you want.
If you want good, you’ll show love.
If you want bad, you’ll show hate.
Let me illustrate.
Some couples have issues with each other’s driving.
For the most part, they might not be happy with it, but they manage by just shoving it under the rug.
That is not Kendra and me.
There is intense, and then there’s Kendra and myself.
And just so everybody knows, today, I fully realize that what I wanted did not line up with the Word.
Imagine a whole lot of anxiety driving with a speed demon.
That’s us in a car.
I’m driving as fast as I want, not really stopping at the STOP sign.
Just, I want to get there.
So many times she had a simple request, “can you please drive slower?”.
My response, “No, I want to drive the way I want to drive”.
Oh the arrogance!
Sometimes I’d follow up with a rude backhand comment so she knows whose in charge.
Her experience is that her life is in danger and I was just sitting there and insisting on my own way.
I hope you guys can see how unloving that is.
Here’s another example.
Money means different things to different people.
For Kendra, it is a way to be generous and just bless the world around her. Now, for me, we didn’t have a lot of money growing up, so for me it meant security and safety.
And my personality type loves security and safety.
We would have enormous fights when it came to spending money on things that I don’t think was absolutely necessary.
My approach to these discussions was to break her down psychologically until she gave up on bringing her desires to me.
That is us without Jesus.
That is us before the Gospel change.
So I have to understand love from a WILL perspective by asking:
Do I want to be patient and kind?
Do I want to be arrogant or rude?
Do I want to drive the way I drive or handle the finances the way I want to?
Or do I have a deep desire to insist on Kendra’s way?
Do you have a deep desire to insist on your spouse’s way?
Sometimes my thinking is: I deserve to be irritated and resentful right now.
I find a sick type of contentment in that conclusion.
And Holy Spirit is faithful to show me that I am making unforgiveness a source of joy.
Getting even with Kendra is making unforgiveness a source of joy.
To deny a simple request, like “can you please drive slower?”, for me, came down to not allowing her to influence me.
Deep down I wanted to be rude and arrogant.
So, we really have a WILL problem.
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