Remain... The Lord's Command is What Really Counts, Part 1
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Today is the final message from 1 Corinthians 7, in which Paul addresses Marriage Matters. In this chapter, Paul was answering some specific questions from the believers in Corinth concerning marriage and marriage relations.
We have seen already that what is necessary for marriage relationships, and relationships in general, is that we live in consideration of the other person. To love as God loves; as Jesus loved when he laid down his life for us. God does not love those who make Him feel good. He loves us even as we are sinners. So too, we are called to love others, even when they are sinning, and living in consideration of them. Marriage and other relationships are not to be based upon me getting, but me giving.
Last week we saw Paul’s answer to whether those who are unmarried should marry. Paul’s answer was that though in certain times of trials it may be better to not be married, if there is the potential for falling into sin, it is better to marry. The main point is that whether married or single, we need to live rightly in full-devotion to the Lord.
This week, we will be looking at what Paul has to say to those who are married about whether they should remain married.
Let’s first read through the passage.
To the married I give this command (not I, but the Lord): A wife must not separate from her husband.
But if she does, she must remain unmarried or else be reconciled to her husband. And a husband must not divorce his wife.
To the rest I say this (I, not the Lord): If any brother has a wife who is not a believer and she is willing to live with him, he must not divorce her.
And if a woman has a husband who is not a believer and he is willing to live with her, she must not divorce him.
For the unbelieving husband has been sanctified through his wife, and the unbelieving wife has been sanctified through her believing husband. Otherwise your children would be unclean, but as it is, they are holy.
But if the unbeliever leaves, let it be so. The brother or the sister is not bound in such circumstances; God has called us to live in peace.
How do you know, wife, whether you will save your husband? Or, how do you know, husband, whether you will save your wife?
Nevertheless, each person should live as a believer in whatever situation the Lord has assigned to them, just as God has called them. This is the rule I lay down in all the churches.
Was a man already circumcised when he was called? He should not become uncircumcised. Was a man uncircumcised when he was called? He should not be circumcised.
Circumcision is nothing and uncircumcision is nothing. Keeping God’s commands is what counts.
Each person should remain in the situation they were in when God called them.
Were you a slave when you were called? Don’t let it trouble you—although if you can gain your freedom, do so.
For the one who was a slave when called to faith in the Lord is the Lord’s freed person; similarly, the one who was free when called is Christ’s slave.
You were bought at a price; do not become slaves of human beings.
Brothers and sisters, each person, as responsible to God, should remain in the situation they were in when God called them.
A woman is bound to her husband as long as he lives. But if her husband dies, she is free to marry anyone she wishes, but he must belong to the Lord.
In my judgment, she is happier if she stays as she is—and I think that I too have the Spirit of God.
Pray
There are aspects of this passage that are seem straight forward regarding marriage for believers. I say for believers, because non-believers do not hold to God’s standards. The standards of the world make marriage all about oneself getting their needs met. And, when those needs are not met, divorce is the way out. Believers, on the other hand, want to follow the Lord and hold to His standards. And, right at the start, Paul lays out the Lord’s standard for Christian marriage.
To the married I give this command (not I, but the Lord): A wife must not separate from her husband.
But if she does, she must remain unmarried or else be reconciled to her husband. And a husband must not divorce his wife.
The Lord’s Command
The Lord’s Command
Notice that Paul is stating God’s command here. Last week we saw Paul giving his Christian recomendation regarding believers getting married in trying times. Now, he is making it clear that this is not his recommendation, rather, it is the Lord’s command concerning marriage.
Paul took his view from what Jesus had to say. How did he do that? Well, Paul was a young Pharisee who was excelling beyond his peers when Jesus was ministering. He would have been among those Pharisees who were opposing Jesus, so he heard what Jesus had to say. And, what did Jesus have to say?
Turn to Matthew 19:3-6.
Some Pharisees came to him to test him. They asked, “Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife for any and every reason?”
“Haven’t you read,” he replied, “that at the beginning the Creator ‘made them male and female,’
and said, ‘For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh’?
So they are no longer two, but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let no one separate.”
What God has joined together, let no one separate
What God has joined together, let no one separate
As a Pharisee, Paul was trained by Gamaliel, grandson of another rabbi, Hillel. Pharisees where generally in one of two camps: followers of Hillel and followers of Shammai. It is likely that Paul was a follower of Hillel. This group would have been the ones questioning Jesus in Matthew 19, because they held that a man could divorce his wife for any reason.
What was Jesus’ reply, which I believe Paul heard?
“At the beginning.” Jesus goes back to created order, and what God’s design for marriage is. A man and woman leave their other relationships to become one flesh. This is not just a physical union, but an emotional and spiritual union which God makes.
So they are no longer two, but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let no one separate.”
God is the One who joins them together. Let not man undo what God does. Let not man go against what God designs and says is right.
What was the Pharisees response? Well, they did not like this. It went against what they believed and taught. It went against what Paul was trained to believe. So, they argued with Jesus.
“Why then,” they asked, “did Moses command that a man give his wife a certificate of divorce and send her away?”
Notice that they looked at what Moses wrote in Deut 24:1-4 as a command of Moses to divorce women for whatever reason.
Look at that passage.
If a man marries a woman who becomes displeasing to him because he finds something indecent about her, and he writes her a certificate of divorce, gives it to her and sends her from his house,
and if after she leaves his house she becomes the wife of another man,
and her second husband dislikes her and writes her a certificate of divorce, gives it to her and sends her from his house, or if he dies,
then her first husband, who divorced her, is not allowed to marry her again after she has been defiled. That would be detestable in the eyes of the Lord. Do not bring sin upon the land the Lord your God is giving you as an inheritance.
Notice all of the ‘if’ statements. Do the ‘if’ statements give commands of what should be done, or do they set the scenario for the command which follows? ‘If’ statements sent the scenario for the direction to follow.
The command here is that a man who divorces his wife, and wants to remarry her after she has already been married to another and divorced again, must not remarry her. This is a command not to remarry your re-divorced ex-wife.
Jesus knew that. So here is his reply to the Pharisees.
“Why then,” they asked, “did Moses command that a man give his wife a certificate of divorce and send her away?”
Jesus replied, “Moses permitted you to divorce your wives because your hearts were hard. But it was not this way from the beginning.
Moses permitted because your hearts were hard
Moses permitted because your hearts were hard
Jesus points out that Moses’ command was not to write a certificate of divorce, but rather just an acknowledgement of what was going on because of their hard hearts. Hard heart is an idiom for someone who does not want to do what the Lord says is right, and goes and does what they want.
From the beginning, marriage has been a life-long covenant relationship. “Forsaking all others, I will love and cherish you as long as we both shall live.” That is the covenant. It is about what I will do, irrespective of what you do.
Divorce was taking place because of sin.
Moses’ command was to stop adultery, of going from woman to woman and back again.
God’s design is for marriage to be a life-long covenant relationship. He joined them together, let no one separate them.
However, because of sin, separations are happening.
So, Moses make a command to limit adultery. I say limit adultery because this is also what Jesus had to say:
“Anyone who divorces his wife and marries another woman commits adultery, and the man who marries a divorced woman commits adultery.
Leaving a marriage to be with another is adultery. Moses’ command to not be going back again is just limiting the adultery. This seems harsh, but it is God’s standard. It is God’s view on things.
But, some will say. What about the exception clause in Matthew’s gospel. Doesn’t Jesus allow divorce when there has been adultery?
Let’s look back at the rest of Jesus’ statement to the Pharisees.
I tell you that anyone who divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, and marries another woman commits adultery.”
There are two parts to what Jesus says a man does here. He does not simply say, “A man may get a divorce if there has been adultery.”
Again, he is using an ‘if’ statement to set up a scenario. What is the full part of the scenario?
Divorce and remarriage, unless there is immorality is adultery
Divorce and remarriage, unless there is immorality is adultery
‘If a man divorces and remarries, unless there has been sexual immorality, commits adultery.’ Many people leave off the second part of the scenario Jesus laid out. Jesus says that a man who divorces AND remarries, unless there has been sexual immorality is committing adultery.
Remember, Jesus has already said that to divorce and remarry is to commit adultery. The only way remarriage is not adultery is if the other person has committed sexual immorality, or if the other person has died.
Divorce is against God’s design from the beginning. However, because of the hardness of people’s hearts, it does happen.
Remarriage, unless there has been a breaking of the marriage bond through sexual immorality or the death of the spouse, is an act of adultery.
This is why the disciples say,
The disciples said to him, “If this is the situation between a husband and wife, it is better not to marry.”
They got the gravity of God’s standard, and the reality of our sinful hearts.
This is also why Paul writes here in 1 Corinthians 7,
To the married I give this command (not I, but the Lord): A wife must not separate from her husband. But if she does, she must remain unmarried or else be reconciled to her husband. And a husband must not divorce his wife.
If divorce, remain or reconcile
If divorce, remain or reconcile
Paul, too, knew that because of the hardness of people’s hearts, divorce happens. He commands that it not take place between believers. However, because of the hardness of peoples’ hearts, divorce does happen. There are times that the hurt from sinful acts against a spouse leads to separation and divorce. Sometimes it is the hurt from adultery. Sometimes it is the breaking of the vow to love and cherish by abuse. Sadly, in this world, sinful people destroy their spouses and break their covenants. Divorce takes place.
Notice that Paul does not say that is the end of the world for them. He does not give them a huge scolding. However, he follows what Jesus had to say. If that happens, don’t commit adultery. If you are divorced or separated, and the other has not broken the marriage covenant by sexual immorality, remain unmarried, or reconcile. If they have not committed adultery, don’t fall into the sin of adultery yourself because of their sin. Rather, hold out hope for them to repent, so you may be reconciled.
This actually is just like our Lord. There are a couple examples in the Old Testament, and how our Lord dealt with Israel which show God’s high view of marriage, and how to handle the hurt from sin in marriage.
The first is from Hosea.
The Lord told Hosea,
When the Lord began to speak through Hosea, the Lord said to him, “Go, marry a promiscuous woman and have children with her, for like an adulterous wife this land is guilty of unfaithfulness to the Lord.”
The Lord, through Hosea and other prophets, tells us that Israel was adulterous. He was their Husband who brought them out of Egypt, who gave them a good land. He is the One who provided for them, and committed to them, and they committed to be His. However, they continually committed adultery, leaving HIm for other Gods.
in the same way, Hosea’s wife left him and went back to prostitution. The Lord told Hosea to go and buy his wife back out of prostitution.
This is a picture of how the Lord brought Israel out of adultery of worshipping false gods to marry Him, and how after they left him for other gods, He would bring them back again.
Yet, because of their continued adultery, He was going to punish them, and send them away.
In fact, the Lord says that he gave Israel a certificate of divorce for their repeated adulteries.
This is the second example.
During the reign of King Josiah, the Lord said to me, “Have you seen what faithless Israel has done? She has gone up on every high hill and under every spreading tree and has committed adultery there.
I thought that after she had done all this she would return to me but she did not, and her unfaithful sister Judah saw it.
I gave faithless Israel her certificate of divorce and sent her away because of all her adulteries. Yet I saw that her unfaithful sister Judah had no fear; she also went out and committed adultery.
Because Israel’s immorality mattered so little to her, she defiled the land and committed adultery with stone and wood.
In spite of all this, her unfaithful sister Judah did not return to me with all her heart, but only in pretense,” declares the Lord.
The Lord said to me, “Faithless Israel is more righteous than unfaithful Judah.
Go, proclaim this message toward the north: “ ‘Return, faithless Israel,’ declares the Lord, ‘I will frown on you no longer, for I am faithful,’ declares the Lord, ‘I will not be angry forever.
Only acknowledge your guilt— you have rebelled against the Lord your God, you have scattered your favors to foreign gods under every spreading tree, and have not obeyed me,’ ” declares the Lord.
“Return, faithless people,” declares the Lord, “for I am your husband. I will choose you—one from a town and two from a clan—and bring you to Zion.
Then I will give you shepherds after my own heart, who will lead you with knowledge and understanding.
In those days, when your numbers have increased greatly in the land,” declares the Lord, “people will no longer say, ‘The ark of the covenant of the Lord.’ It will never enter their minds or be remembered; it will not be missed, nor will another one be made.
At that time they will call Jerusalem The Throne of the Lord, and all nations will gather in Jerusalem to honor the name of the Lord. No longer will they follow the stubbornness of their evil hearts.
In those days the people of Judah will join the people of Israel, and together they will come from a northern land to the land I gave your ancestors as an inheritance.
The Lord is an example of remaining and reconciling
The Lord is an example of remaining and reconciling
It is because of the hardness of their hearts that the Lord gave them over to their wicked ways and left Israel. Before he did so, He continually pursued and restored Israel, as he had Hosea do with his wife. However, after she left him the last time, He divorced her. It was a punishment for her to reap what she sowed, and to come to her senses.
Yet, the Lord continually promised to one day restore her.
He says it here in Jeremiah, and in other prophets, like Hosea.
For the Israelites will live many days without king or prince, without sacrifice or sacred stones, without ephod or household gods.
Afterward the Israelites will return and seek the Lord their God and David their king. They will come trembling to the Lord and to his blessings in the last days.
The Lord will one day restore Israel as a faithful husband. He will reconcile them.
This is the example Paul sees and encourages believers to follow, when he says, remain unmarried, or be reconciled.
He has more to say about those who become believers, and their spouse is not a believer. To them he says, remain with them, unless they leave. If they leave, then you are not bound.
The overall command that Paul gives to the believers is to remain, or reconcile. Remain married. If divorce happens, remain unmarried or be reconciled. If the unbeliever is willing, remain married. if the unbeliever leaves, you are not bound.
Remain. There is something there for us all to apply. And we will have to delve into that more next week.
How do we apply what we have looked at today?
Keep God’s High View of Marriage
Keep God’s High View of Marriage
Divorce happens because of sin
Divorce happens because of sin
Remarriage is possible after sexual immorality, an unbeliever leaves, or death
Remarriage is possible after sexual immorality, an unbeliever leaves, or death
Give Grace for those who suffer from sin
Give Grace for those who suffer from sin
Remain… The Lord’s command is what really counts
Remain… The Lord’s command is what really counts
to be continued...