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Strengthening our Family in the Lord
Nehemiah 4:10-14
I love this passage because it reminds us of what is the most precious and important treasure we have on this earth.
My family, my spouse, my children, my close by extended family and even those that I love at church as well to a degree.
But a Christian home comes by displaying Christian values.
Christian values come by being a Spirit led Family.
There are three very important things that are involved in being a spirit led family.
I. FulfillingFoundational Roles
There are some roles that we have in the family.
The parents and the children, the husband and the wife, the mother and the father.
There is no way you will see the success in your home for God without the parents following godly principles.
A. Parents Are To Fill the Role of a Godly Authority
God gave your children parents for you to establish authority in their lives.
You parents are the ones that must establish this.
Today we see parents tell their children what to do, and their children ignore and disobey.
Friend your children’s disobedience must be met with correction, training and discipline.
The younger they are the more immediate the discipline needs to be.
Most appease their children to get by, you must deal with them, you must establish parental authority which is godly order before God.
All disobedience must be corrected.
1. God is not amused at our sin
2. God does not appease us in our sin
3. God deals with sin
4. God forgives sin and restores us
How young should I start correcting them, as soon as they are old enough to disobey.
Listen, we have to be careful from the toiddler years to preschool years because they are developing and cute, but don’t allow sin and disobedience to go on.
More important that there cuteness is obedience.
I know this is hard in a society that questions authority and glorifies rebellion, but me must keep the foundational role of parenting.
B. Parents Are To Fill the Role of a Godly Example
Along with establishing your role of authority with your children which is your responsibility, you must also be a godly example to them at the same time.
Jesus said in Matt 4:19 – Follow me and I will make you fishers of men.
He said follow me, do what I do, let me show you how to win souls.
We also, as we teach our children what is right, show them an example of following Christ in our lives as well.
Teaching without examples can be confusing.
Now remember concerning wrath - That is the quickest way that we hurt our children is by we parents living a double standard.
We need to be consistent examples.
Consistent examples when we are young adults
Consistent when we are middle aged
Consistent when we are grandparents
Consistent when there are financial strains
Consistent when there are deaths
Consistent not to fight with your spouse, but to discuss things in private, to not yell and react in discipline, but to lovingly correct with control
Consistent not to criticize authority – Romans 13:1-7
Consistent in all things, so they will have a storehouse of memories and examples that you have pictured for them
II.
Fulfill Responsibilities
No one would ever argue that the things we just talked about are important and that we should do them.
But the mechanics of raising a child, teaching them, and disciplining them are quite another thing.
But there are some things we can do to start us on the way:
A. We are to nurture our children
Nurture defined: tutorage, i.e. education or training; disciplinary correction:--chastening, chastisement, instruction, nurture.
We are to bring up our children in the Lord, we are to bring them up through instruction and guidance.
This must be done from the earliest of days, they must be taught their boundaries.
There is great comfort knowing ones boundaries.
They are in need of training very early:
In my pastoring, I have had people tell me several times, I understand what you are saying pastor, but we decided that we are going to wait a couple of years before we start disciplining.
It is not what I’m saying, it is Bible principle they are going against, not what Pastor Sage says.
B. We are to admonish our children
Admonish is to warn our children about what is wrong and encourage them about what is right.
Parents can often come in to churches and be critical of the nursery, the teachers, and the Sunday school class teaching or structure, but at home they let their kids watch MTV.
We are to teach them what is right.
Don’t leave your children to discover what is right on their own.
You teach them what you have already discovered to be true.
You teach them it as fact.
C. We are to teach principles to our children
We need t talk to our children about spiritual growth.
In order to
teach them about it, we must teach them principles to live by and to
apply to their walk with the Lord.
But in order to teach your children principles we must be living
them as well.
1. Begin with a Bible Principle
In teaching absolute truth we must go to the source of
absolute truth, God himself, and his book that he has given to us to learn from and live by.
2. Develop a conviction
A conviction is a personal belief based on a Bible
principle.
Once we have identified a principle, we need to follow the leading of the Holy Spirit to develop guidelines for our lives.
- These are rules you have decided to follow to ensure you
will obey the principles of the Word of God.
3. Establish a standard
A standard is a guideline that helps me keep my conviction.
- Standards keep you and your marriage and your children
safe from sin, far from sin.
- This seems strange to people who have no standards.
- Listen, godly standards will only protect our families, we must instill these things in them to so they can hold the line for the future, to teach them things to teach to their children.
III.
Foster Relationships
Someone wisely said “Rules without relationships bring rebellion.”
It s true that while we nurture and admonish and develop principles, we must develop foster relationships.
- You need to show them that what your priorities are, show them what you care about , and while you do that, realize that you cannot fake what is important to you to them, they know you.
A. Relationships are built through time together
Dwell with your wives according to knowledge.
This verse is talking about the husband and wife, but it can certainly apply to the children as well.
The word dwell means to settle down in a fixed place, and that is what we need to do.
Remember, thee are no shortcuts to developing relationships.
We must invest time in our schedules to being with them.
B. Relationships are built through talking together
It is a two way street, we must talk and listen to them.
There is no replacing that.
We must invest it, listen.
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