ETB Colossians 3:18-4:6

This week’s passage continues what is commonly recognized as the practical application section of Colossians. As noted last week, this application grows out of the basic fact of believers’ spiritual union with Christ. One aspect of the newness of life in Christ is the experience of putting away old sinful habits, viewed as the shedding of soiled clothing. The companion truth is that of adopting new attitudes and behaviors, viewed as putting on fresh, clean garments. In short, this week’s study continues to emphasize aspects of the newness that faith in Christ introduces into a believer’s human relationships. [LifeWay Adults (2020). (p. 124). Explore the Bible: Adult Leader Guide - ESV - Fall 2021. LifeWay Press. Retrieved from https://read.lifeway.com]

Evangelical Commentary on the Bible (C. Relations within Christian Households (3:18–4:1))

When reading Paul’s letters one should keep clearly in mind that the churches to whom he writes were not functioning in the same way that churches do today. They did not own property. There were no church buildings, only occasional rentals of public buildings. Most churches met in the homes of the members.

Evidently early Christians ate a common meal together (a “love feast”; Jude 12) in their homes at which time sociological concerns surfaced. Gentiles eating with Jews, slaves and masters together at the table along with women and wives.

With such disparate groups trying to meet in each other’s homes, very serious problems were bound to occur. The Christian message that in Christ every human being is of equal importance and shares in all of God’s gifts (1 Cor. 12:13), which was so central to Paul’s preaching, caused immediate misunderstandings which had to be worked out. These kinds of problems prompted most of Paul’s writings (see 1 Cor. 7:1).

Although most headings for this passage in our English bibles mention “rules for households” because this was also the place for church gatherings there is an overlap of responsibilities and authorities. Every “rule” for both parties include a focus or directive on Christ, and this helps us see that the principles apply in all areas of our lives not just “in church” or “at home.”

The verse immediately before our passage today told us, “whatever you do in word or deed, do everything in the name of the Lord Jesus.” Our passage ends with a statement about deeds and words being observed by “outsiders”. Between these bookends our interpersonal relationships are guided toward their proper placement within Christ’s body.

Explore the Text

Colossians 3:18 ESV

Wives, submit to your husbands, as is fitting in the Lord.

Paul's addresses in the first part of today’s passage seem to be countercultural as he directs the letters portions in reverse of the societal status ladder; women & children before men, slaves before master. This same order is repeated in the parallel passage of Ephesians.

Some scholars noted that the submit word had military connotations and implied as recognition of the chain of command and obedience to superiors. Within our context discussed earlier and the finishing phrase of the verse there is a voluntary aspect of the word that may not be present in a military setting. Just as the women submitted to the loving authority of Christ as her Lord and Savior of wife is to yield to her husband like she did to Christ, willfully and without coercion.

Paul may have been alluding back to Gen 3:16 in that this submission would take effort on the woman’s part as it would be “contrary” to her human will and desires. The parallel passage in Ephesians adds “as to the Lord” so the subjection would be unto God as through His authority placed within the husband back at the creation of the marriage relationship. This would therefore require the wife’s subjection to God regardless of the husband’s. Yet God does not wish anyone to suffer abuse at the hands of His enemy through any human and would expect the wife to take advantage of any “way of escape” that He provides for her to remove herself from harm.

When the husband tries to force his wife to do something contrary to God’s will, then he can no longer claim to have God’s authority in that matter. In such a situation, the wife must obey God rather than her husband. [Hale, Thomas. The Applied New Testament Commentary. Colorado Springs, CO; Ontario, Canada; East Sussex, England: David C. Cook, 1996. Print.]

The men and husbands have any equally difficult challenge from the apostle.

Colossians 3:19 ESV

Husbands, love your wives, and do not be harsh with them.

In a world where a husband usually assumed an authoritative role to which others in the household were bound to submit, Paul’s instructions to the Christian husbands were quite revolutionary. [LifeWay Adults (2020). (p. 125). Explore the Bible: Adult Leader Guide - ESV - Fall 2021. LifeWay Press. Retrieved from https://read.lifeway.com]

You probably can guess which Greek word is used here for love as it is the type of love that Christ has for His church (Eph 5:25). In this verse “harsh” is the contrast to “love” so if a husband does not agape his wife, he is being harsh. The word is sometimes translated as to “cause bitterness”. It is used in Revelation 8:11 to describe the water being changed and killing people because of its “bitterness”. Harsh in our verse also appears to be the counterpart to the “fitting” for wives. Husbands are not to cause their wives to re-act in a way that is not “fitting” by loving them. There is also the possibility that the “bitterness” would be growing within the husband toward the wife if they believe the wife is continually “disobedient” or not “submitting” because of false expectation.

Paul moves on to the next “blood” relationship.

Colossians 3:20–21 ESV

Children, obey your parents in everything, for this pleases the Lord. Fathers, do not provoke your children, lest they become discouraged.

Similar to submit as it is yielding to a “superior” however with submit there is a plea for a willingness to yield; this obey implies the submission it to be done regardless of willingness. This command “reflects the fifth commandment (Exodus 20:12)” [Faithlife Study Bible.] as the act of obedience is a form of honoring. In Exodus the commandment comes with an added blessing of “long life” and here the obedience “pleases” God which implies blessings as well. The word used for pleasing God is not used as an evaluation of the child’s obedience but is stated as the goal for the Christian life to be lived [Theological Dictionary of the New Testament]. We see similar language in Romans 12:1-2. Again, the obedience is first to the Lord, and then to the parent - who may or may not be pleased.

This obedience does not include immoral or idolatrous demands from a parent, because this is not behavior pleasing to the Lord. [ CSB Study Bible: Notes]

In my readings I only came across one commentary that made mention of “adult” children. Do you think this verse would apply to adult children also?

Although the terms parents is used in verse 20, responsibility for discipline and encouragement of the child is placed on the father’s shoulders in verse 21. Provoke is similar to being harsh. Instead of rousing bitterness and resentment this arouses irritability or anger. Eph 6:9 adds “to anger” in the verse to clarify. I am not sure how you do not irritate a teenager, but thankfully this is speaking to a continuous on-going provocation. The Ephesians passage also adds “bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord”. This may be a clue not only how to prevent the provoking but to enable the child - and later adult - to be able to react to “unfair” situations in a godly way and to become “angry but without sin” (Eph 4:26).

The child can become discouraged as a result of continuous provoking. Then the child becomes either so angered or confused that they quit even trying to obey. This then causes the child to turn not only from the parents but also from God.

Our goal as a fellow believer in Christ is to always guide our brothers and sisters toward a deeper relationship with Him that is active and growing. Even if that strains our personal relationship with the person, we can rejoice with them when they follow and God’s will. There is an added joy when the fellow believer is a family member either by blood or marriage and we can rejoice with all the family members involved; physical, marital, and spiritual.

Colossians 3:22 ESV

Bondservants, obey in everything those who are your earthly masters, not by way of eye-service, as people-pleasers, but with sincerity of heart, fearing the Lord.

When this letter was penned to the Colossian Christians, it is estimated slaves made up at least half of the population of the Roman Empire. Slavery was the social status of many “professional” people, such as teachers, doctors, and craftsmen. [LifeWay Adults (2020). (p. 127). Explore the Bible: Adult Leader Guide - ESV - Fall 2021. LifeWay Press. Retrieved from https://read.lifeway.com]

Because of these historical truths it would not be difficult to imagine half or more of those hearing the letter would be servants or slaves. The Greek language tools that I have show that this is our only verse without a definitive command. It is listed as an “address” which infers an equal status between speaker and the one being spoken to (Titus 1:1).

Paul includes slaves in his discussion of the family because they were considered members of the Graeco-Roman household. [Faithlife Study Bible.] However, there was a considerable difference in the relationship between slaves/servants and masters. Although a master had a legal right to force a slave into submission, Paul is appealing to the slave here to obey in a similar fashion as the child but adds the qualifier of “in everything” in part acknowledging the difference in the relationship. We learn from 1 Peter 2:18 that this obedience was even to include those masters that were harsh or unjust. This injustice may be more difficult to overcome than if a husband or father was being harsh as the slave has no legal means of recourse whereas a plea could be made to another family member for assistance or refuge. It may also be why there is more discussion of the servant heart and motives for service.

Although “earthly masters” are not the same as modern business CEOs, the principles of conduct in these verses can be applied as “whatever we do in word or deed” should be for God and as we “walk wisely” toward non-believers or in their presence within the workplace. “Eye-service” is acting as if you are being watched. Do your conversations change when a manager or boss comes into listening range? Do you close websites or put down your phone when you hear someone coming by your cubicle? These are all eye-pleasing actions. If you know what you are doing should not be seen and change your actions to appear “right” in their eyes, you sin is doubled - first you have not “obeyed” in everything, and now you are lying about having supposedly obeyed. In conjunction with “people-pleasing” the servant’s life that is all for show and manipulation not loving service. This “people-pleasing” is the opposite of the what the children were commanded as “pleasing to the Lord”.

It is no advantage to do good only when our “earthly master” is looking—because our heavenly Master is always looking! [The Applied New Testament Commentary]

This thought of God always watching is part of “fearing” Him. We get our word “phobia” from the root of this word. It is an “fear” that overrides all other actions, so for the servant, obedience to the Heavenly master should dominate all heart attitudes and responses to the earthly master. Eph 6:5 passage emphasizes “fear and trembling” in the obedience to Christ as a supreme master.

Paul continues his address to the servants, but the principles still apply for all who work for any earthly master.

Colossians 3:23–25 ESV

Whatever you do, work heartily, as for the Lord and not for men, knowing that from the Lord you will receive the inheritance as your reward. You are serving the Lord Christ. For the wrongdoer will be paid back for the wrong he has done, and there is no partiality.

Although the servant and slaves may have been considered “family” very rarely did they ever receive any portion of an inheritance from the master who dies. It was more likely for them to “be” a part of the inheritance to a surviving family member. Knowing that you will be rewarded - in this life or the next - gives a person a better chance to work well and with gratitude.

If the inspired apostle could urge slaves, who had no voice in the conditions and circumstances of their work, to render faithful, ungrudging service to their masters, then surely he would say no less to those today whose work is entered voluntarily and who receive financial remuneration for their work. Christian workers are to view their jobs as service rendered to the Lord. This consideration should motivate employees to give honest and faithful work in return for the salary paid them. Such an attitude gives employees a sense of dignity in their work. [LifeWay Adults (2020). (p. 127). Explore the Bible: Adult Leader Guide - ESV - Fall 2021. LifeWay Press. Retrieved from https://read.lifeway.com]

Without any legal rights or recourse for an injustice, there was some hope for those servants who were believers. The injustice would be seen by God, and He would act, either in the present or the future, for the wrongs done to one of His children. Being this letter was written to a house church where all these relational dynamics were being tested and rearranged through Christ, the Colossians are reminded that all wrong doers would be dealt with as God did not regard any of their status different (Col 3:11) and would treat all sin against His people equally.

This section of the letter finishes with a final challenge to the masters - of slaves or households.

Colossians 4:1 ESV

Masters, treat your bondservants justly and fairly, knowing that you also have a Master in heaven.

“Justly and fairly” is the literary opposite to the “wrong doer” in the previous verse. These terms are also not up for interpretation by the earthly master but are to be in line with the will of God and His criteria.

Phrases like “Every boss has a boss” or “We all answer to someone” may have come from the precept that masters have a Master. This phrase of “you also” implies that the servant and the master both are subject to the authority of heaven. Eph 6:9 states it more clearly and adds that God will not treat them differently as He has no “partiality” or disregards earthly status. I am encouraged to know that when I am feeling mistreated God sees and will “pay back the wrongdoer” in His time but I am also warned by the same premise when I consider treating others in a less than God honoring way.

Paul ends his practical principles with a request for prayer and some summary reminders.

Colossians 4:2–4 ESV

Continue steadfastly in prayer, being watchful in it with thanksgiving. At the same time, pray also for us, that God may open to us a door for the word, to declare the mystery of Christ, on account of which I am in prison— that I may make it clear, which is how I ought to speak.

Prayer is such an integral part of being able to live out the Christian life within personal relationships that Paul starts with the assumption that they already are praying and asks them to continue doing so even more resolutely. Not only are we as believers to be “constant in prayer” (Rom 12:12) with an attitude and expressions of thanksgiving, but we are also challenged here to “be watchful”. Jesus gave His disciples a similar warning prior to His arrest (Mark 14:38) [Faithlife Study Bible.] “Stay awake” in prayer has a military connotation of one that is on guard or expecting a superior to come by soon. If we use the “put off” and “put on” concept from last week’s lesson, we would “put off” the habit of watching out for the boss catching us doing something we should not be and use that same attentiveness to “put on” opportunities to pray for or serve our boss better.

As we pray, we must be watchful. Watchful for what? First, we must watch for those—both believers and non-believers—who need our prayers; we must be watchful for the needs and welfare of others. Second, we must be watchful for Satan, lest he trip us up (see Mark 14:38; Ephesians 6:18; 1 Peter 5:8 and comments). [Hale, Thomas. The Applied New Testament Commentary. Colorado Springs, CO; Ontario, Canada; East Sussex, England: David C. Cook, 1996. Print.]

Paul’s teaching addresses three common challenges to effective prayer: lack of dedication (Devote yourselves!), a sluggish approach to prayer (keep alert!), and prayers filled with requests but devoid of thanksgiving. [Peterman, Gerald W. “Colossians.” The Moody Bible Commentary. Ed. Michael A. Rydelnik and Michael Vanlaningham. Chicago, IL: Moody Publishers, 2014. 1874. Print.]

Before signing off in the letter Paul summarizes his practical uses of doctrine with the correlating “bookend” of our passage addressing whatever we do and say for the Lord.

Colossians 4:5–6 ESV

Walk in wisdom toward outsiders, making the best use of the time. Let your speech always be gracious, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how you ought to answer each person.

In 1Thess 4:12 we are able to walk this way because of our love for the brothers or those “inside”. He also is summarizing and closing the letter with practical commands. We must act and listen wisely to those not of the faith but supposedly speaking “plausible arguments” against it. These people are “outside” and may not be able to understand the truths of Christ yet as they are still a “mystery” to them. Spending hours on end debating with them gains nothing and is there not a very fruitful course of action, does not increase our knowledge of God’s truths, and as the rest of the verse states probably not the “best use” of our time on earth.

The verb translated for us “making the best” is a verb literally translated as “buy up” as if finding a bargain. Here it conveys the idea of making the most of one’s time spent with unbelievers. [CSB Study Bible: Notes] The other side of acting wisely toward outsiders and redeeming the time is being alert to when God is working in their lives and drawing them from “outside” to “inside”. We must be vigilant and respond with godly insight to help them correctly see the mysteries of Christ and accept His gracious gift of eternal life with Him.

Witness without wisdom often produces ill-will and negative results. [Patzia, Arthur G. Ephesians, Colossians, Philemon. Grand Rapids, MI: Baker Books, 2011. Print. Understanding the Bible Commentary Series.]

Finally, the way we interact with other people be they family, servants, neighbors, or “outsiders” is with our speech. Being gracious with our speech is fairly easy to understand but the phrase “seasoned with salt” probably loses its impact with modern readers. Salt was an integral and important part in the ancient society even being used as a form of payment. Modern readers may not understand the importance of a table condiment being a part of speech or its symbolic meanings to the Colossians.

Salt has also served as a significant figurative symbol. Sharing salt was a symbol of friendship and hospitality, and ancient conflicts concluded with a meal consisting of bread and salt as a symbol of friendship (Aristotle, Eudemian Ethics 7.2.46; Cicero, Treatise of Friendship 19.67). One who violated the eating of salt was a traitor (Demosthenes, On the Embassy 191). Salt was also viewed as a divine gift (Plutarch, Symposium 5.10.2; Homer, Iliad 9.214)

Salt was also a symbol of provision, and eating someone’s “bread and salt” left the eater obligated to the giver (Ezra 4:14). Other practical uses of salt attested in the ancient world include: purifying agent—ancient peoples rubbed babies with salt at birth (Ezek 16:4), and the prophet Elisha used salt to purify a polluted spring (2 Kgs 2:19–22); [II, Robert G. Rayburn. “Salt.” Ed. John D. Barry et al. The Lexham Bible Dictionary 2016]

Mark 9:50 is a reference for this verse because of Jesus use of the concept of having ourselves “in salt” to be at peace with others. I prefer the speech correlation to Eph 4:29 which helps clarify the idioms imagery by stating our speech should “give grace” or be of benefit to those who hear us speak. This incorporates both the “good flavor” and “good speech” together.

Apply the Text

As we live our lives as believers in a Christ who redeemed us our speech and actions should reflect His character. Not just when we are at church or around other believers but in every place that we interact with other people, and alone in our prayer closets. The Christian life is not easy, in fact it is impossible without Christ. Thankfully He is always ready to help us to be “be filled with the knowledge of his will in all spiritual wisdom and understanding, so as to walk in a manner worthy of the Lord, fully pleasing to him: bearing fruit in every good work and increasing in the knowledge of God” (Col 1:9-10).

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