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Understand the Context

This week’s passage continues what is commonly recognized as the practical application section of Colossians.

As noted last week, this application grows out of the basic fact of believers’ spiritual union with Christ.

One aspect of the newness of life in Christ is the experience of putting away old sinful habits, viewed as the shedding of soiled clothing.

The companion truth is that of adopting new attitudes and behaviors, viewed as putting on fresh, clean garments.

In short, this week’s study continues to emphasize aspects of the newness that faith in Christ introduces into a believer’s human relationships.

[LifeWay Adults (2020).

(p.

124).

Explore the Bible: Adult Leader Guide - ESV - Fall 2021.

LifeWay Press.

Retrieved from https://read.lifeway.com]

Evangelical Commentary on the Bible (C.

Relations within Christian Households (3:18–4:1))

When reading Paul’s letters one should keep clearly in mind that the churches to whom he writes were not functioning in the same way that churches do today.

They did not own property.

There were no church buildings, only occasional rentals of public buildings.

Most churches met in the homes of the members.

Evidently early Christians ate a common meal together (a “love feast”; Jude 12) in their homes at which time sociological concerns surfaced.

Gentiles eating with Jews, slaves and masters together at the table along with women and wives.

With such disparate groups trying to meet in each other’s homes, very serious problems were bound to occur.

The Christian message that in Christ every human being is of equal importance and shares in all of God’s gifts (1 Cor.

12:13), which was so central to Paul’s preaching, caused immediate misunderstandings which had to be worked out.

These kinds of problems prompted most of Paul’s writings (see 1 Cor.

7:1).

Although most headings for this passage in our English bibles mention “rules for households” because this was also the place for church gatherings there is an overlap of responsibilities and authorities.

Every “rule” for both parties include a focus or directive on Christ, and this helps us see that the principles apply in all areas of our lives not just “in church” or “at home.”

The verse immediately before our passage today told us, “whatever you do in word or deed, do everything in the name of the Lord Jesus.”

Our passage ends with a statement about deeds and words being observed by “outsiders”.

Between these bookends our interpersonal relationships are guided toward their proper placement within Christ’s body.

Explore the Text

Paul's addresses in the first part of today’s passage seem to be countercultural as he directs the letters portions in reverse of the societal status ladder; women & children before men, slaves before master.

This same order is repeated in the parallel passage of Ephesians.

Some scholars noted that the submit word had military connotations and implied as recognition of the chain of command and obedience to superiors.

Within our context discussed earlier and the finishing phrase of the verse there is a voluntary aspect of the word that may not be present in a military setting.

Just as the women submitted to the loving authority of Christ as her Lord and Savior of wife is to yield to her husband like she did to Christ, willfully and without coercion.

Paul may have been alluding back to Gen 3:16 in that this submission would take effort on the woman’s part as it would be “contrary” to her human will and desires.

The parallel passage in Ephesians adds “as to the Lord” so the subjection would be unto God as through His authority placed within the husband back at the creation of the marriage relationship.

This would therefore require the wife’s subjection to God regardless of the husband’s.

Yet God does not wish anyone to suffer abuse at the hands of His enemy through any human and would expect the wife to take advantage of any “way of escape” that He provides for her to remove herself from harm.

When the husband tries to force his wife to do something contrary to God’s will, then he can no longer claim to have God’s authority in that matter.

In such a situation, the wife must obey God rather than her husband.

[Hale, Thomas.

The Applied New Testament Commentary.

Colorado Springs, CO; Ontario, Canada; East Sussex, England: David C. Cook, 1996.

Print.]

The men and husbands have any equally difficult challenge from the apostle.

In a world where a husband usually assumed an authoritative role to which others in the household were bound to submit, Paul’s instructions to the Christian husbands were quite revolutionary.

[LifeWay Adults (2020).

(p.

125).

Explore the Bible: Adult Leader Guide - ESV - Fall 2021.

LifeWay Press.

Retrieved from https://read.lifeway.com]

You probably can guess which Greek word is used here for love as it is the type of love that Christ has for His church (Eph 5:25).

In this verse “harsh” is the contrast to “love” so if a husband does not agape his wife, he is being harsh.

The word is sometimes translated as to “cause bitterness”.

It is used in Revelation 8:11 to describe the water being changed and killing people because of its “bitterness”.

Harsh in our verse also appears to be the counterpart to the “fitting” for wives.

Husbands are not to cause their wives to re-act in a way that is not “fitting” by loving them.

There is also the possibility that the “bitterness” would be growing within the husband toward the wife if they believe the wife is continually “disobedient” or not “submitting” because of false expectation.

Paul moves on to the next “blood” relationship.

Similar to submit as it is yielding to a “superior” however with submit there is a plea for a willingness to yield; this obey implies the submission it to be done regardless of willingness.

This command “reflects the fifth commandment (Exodus 20:12)” [Faithlife Study Bible.] as the act of obedience is a form of honoring.

In Exodus the commandment comes with an added blessing of “long life” and here the obedience “pleases” God which implies blessings as well.

The word used for pleasing God is not used as an evaluation of the child’s obedience but is stated as the goal for the Christian life to be lived [Theological Dictionary of the New Testament].

We see similar language in Romans 12:1-2.

Again, the obedience is first to the Lord, and then to the parent - who may or may not be pleased.

This obedience does not include immoral or idolatrous demands from a parent, because this is not behavior pleasing to the Lord.

[ CSB Study Bible: Notes]

In my readings I only came across one commentary that made mention of “adult” children.

Do you think this verse would apply to adult children also?

Although the terms parents is used in verse 20, responsibility for discipline and encouragement of the child is placed on the father’s shoulders in verse 21.

Provoke is similar to being harsh.

Instead of rousing bitterness and resentment this arouses irritability or anger.

Eph 6:9 adds “to anger” in the verse to clarify.

I am not sure how you do not irritate a teenager, but thankfully this is speaking to a continuous on-going provocation.

The Ephesians passage also adds “bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord”.

This may be a clue not only how to prevent the provoking but to enable the child - and later adult - to be able to react to “unfair” situations in a godly way and to become “angry but without sin” (Eph 4:26).

The child can become discouraged as a result of continuous provoking.

Then the child becomes either so angered or confused that they quit even trying to obey.

This then causes the child to turn not only from the parents but also from God.

Our goal as a fellow believer in Christ is to always guide our brothers and sisters toward a deeper relationship with Him that is active and growing.

Even if that strains our personal relationship with the person, we can rejoice with them when they follow and God’s will.

There is an added joy when the fellow believer is a family member either by blood or marriage and we can rejoice with all the family members involved; physical, marital, and spiritual.

When this letter was penned to the Colossian Christians, it is estimated slaves made up at least half of the population of the Roman Empire.

Slavery was the social status of many “professional” people, such as teachers, doctors, and craftsmen.

[LifeWay Adults (2020).

(p.

127).

Explore the Bible: Adult Leader Guide - ESV - Fall 2021.

LifeWay Press.

Retrieved from https://read.lifeway.com]

Because of these historical truths it would not be difficult to imagine half or more of those hearing the letter would be servants or slaves.

The Greek language tools that I have show that this is our only verse without a definitive command.

It is listed as an “address” which infers an equal status between speaker and the one being spoken to (Titus 1:1).

Paul includes slaves in his discussion of the family because they were considered members of the Graeco-Roman household.

[Faithlife Study Bible.]

However, there was a considerable difference in the relationship between slaves/servants and masters.

Although a master had a legal right to force a slave into submission, Paul is appealing to the slave here to obey in a similar fashion as the child but adds the qualifier of “in everything” in part acknowledging the difference in the relationship.

We learn from 1 Peter 2:18 that this obedience was even to include those masters that were harsh or unjust.

This injustice may be more difficult to overcome than if a husband or father was being harsh as the slave has no legal means of recourse whereas a plea could be made to another family member for assistance or refuge.