(HP 2003) Why I Don't Pray
Why I Don’t Pray
October 26, 2003
And when you pray, do not keep on babbling like pagans, for they think they will be heard because of their many words. Do not be like them, for your Father knows what you need before you ask him. Matthew 6:7-8 NIV
Q: Why do we need to ask God for things?
Why do need to inform an all-knowing God of what He already knows? Why do we need to instruct an all-powerful and all-loving God to do what He would already wants to do, and can do better than we ask?
Inconsistent and vague
I stink at prayer. Not prayer in general; prayer is just talking to God, but there are different kinds of prayer:
1. Adoration
2. Confession
3. Thanksgiving
4. Petition
I have a hard time consistently asking God for things. Frequently I do it because it’s expected – especially when we’re praying as staff.
When I do pray consistently, my requests are usually general and repetitive. “Father, help me honor and glorify you in this day.” I can’t tell how many times Marilyn has heard me say that.
· 2 ½ years = 912 days x an average 1.5 times a day = 1,368 times.
That’s not a bad prayer, but it’s not the same as daily seeking God’s wisdom and strength for the specific challenges I face as I seek to glorify and honor Him.
· My petitionary prayers are inconsistent and vague because I lack conviction and passion when it comes to asking God for things.
· Because I have struggled with this, I hope to help you.
Why do our prayers lack conviction and passion? I’ve found two reasons. Your temperament will determine which is more applicable to you.
1. To the analytical, petitionary prayer doesn’t make much sense.
2. To the relational, petitionary prayer seems impersonal.
Q: Which group do you find yourself relating to?
Prayer doesn’t make much sense
I fall in the first group. It is difficult for me to pray with conviction and passion because I don’t understand prayer.
Why do we need to inform an all-knowing God of what He already knows? God already knows everything!
...your Father knows what you need before you ask him. Matthew 6:8 NIV
· I wish Jesus would have finished that thought by saying, “Even though He knows, you still need to pray, because….”
Why do we need to instruct an all-powerful and all-loving God to do what He already wants to do, especially when He’ll do it better? I’m sure I usually pray for the wrong thing, so I hope God ignores me.
· Isn’t praying like a 3-year old instructing the president?
Prayer doesn’t seem to make sense. Because I am not sure how it works, I have a hard time believing that it works. And so I have a hard time praying with conviction.
The Bible and prayer
I wish I could tell you I found some nifty answer in the Bible, the Phonics of Petitionary Prayer. Maybe there is; I haven’t found it.
The Bible isn’t clear on how prayer works. It doesn’t explain why we need to inform God of what He already knows or instruct Him to do what He already wants to do.
· The Bible is clear that prayer does work and that we need to pray.
· Our prayers have the ability to affect the world around us.
The prayer of a righteous man is powerful and effective. James 5:16 NIV
it seems so impersonal
If petitionary prayer is hard to understand, it also seems so impersonal. Other types of prayers worship God or spend time talking to Him, building our relationship with our Father.
· Petitionary prayer just asks for stuff.
If I don’t understand petitionary prayer and it doesn’t bring me any closer to God, my prayers will lack conviction and passion.
The purpose of prayer
The good news is that are very good reasons that we need to ask God to do things. The purpose of prayer is not to inform God or instruct Him. He doesn’t need us to pray to accomplish his objectives.
· The purpose of prayer is to draw us closer to God.
· It is all about relationship.
Petitionary prayer can build our relationship with God in a way that nothing else can. There are specific reasons why God wants us to ask Him for things. I’m going to give you three benefits I’ve observed.
But first, there’s a key principle you must know. Petitionary prayer can be relational, but it’s not guaranteed. Without this key, you could spend a lifetime asking God for things, but never know Him better.
If petitionary prayers fail to draw you closer to God, your prayers will lack conviction and passion, they will be forced and unnatural. Or else they will be demanding, treating God as a vending machine.
· Without this key, you forfeit the true benefits of petitionary prayer.
Authenticity
Jesus demonstrated this principle when He prayed in the Garden.
Going a little farther, [Jesus] fell with his face to the ground and prayed, “My Father, if it is possible, may this cup be taken from me.” Matthew 26:39 NIV
Q: Did Jesus think that there may have been another way?
If Jesus knew that there was no other way, then Jesus was asking for something that He knew He couldn’t have.
Q: Why would He do that?
Q: Do you ever pray how you think God wants rather than how you feel?
Jesus pleaded for something He knew He couldn’t have because He was being honest about what He wanted.
· The key to relational petitionary prayer is authenticity.
Prayer is the last place that we should attempt to hide our fears, pain, or even selfish desires. In prayer, God prefers our authentic humanness to our artificial holiness.
Being honest with God is risky. It means bringing our dark side into the light, knowing that He will want to deal with it. But it also means risking being disappointed by Him.
Being dishonest with God isn’t as risky, but it means we will never be able to grow closer to God through prayer. And we will never fulfill God’s true purpose for petitionary prayer.
· Inauthentic prayers may get answered, but they will not achieve prayer’s true benefits.
trust
If we follow Jesus’ example and establish authenticity in our petitionary prayers, we can begin to know its benefits. The first is seen in Jesus’ prayer in the garden:
My Father, if it is possible, may this cup be taken from me. Yet not as I will, but as you will. Matthew 26:39 NIV
Jesus did not end his prayer with an authentically expressing what He wanted. With one short, simple sentence, Jesus reconfirms His trust in God’s wisdom, love, and purpose.
Petitionary prayer involves great risk – God may say “no” when we need Him to say “yes” the most. Sometimes His refusals will seem cruel and unloving.
· Our perception of God goes from theoretical to very, very concrete.
· We must decide if God doesn’t exist, doesn’t care, or knows best.
If we believe that He is loving and knows best, we will trust that He will always act in our best interest.
The act of petitionary prayer is an act of faith. We don’t understand how it works, but in faith we accept it.
And without faith it is impossible to please God, because anyone who comes to him must believe that he exists and that he rewards those who earnestly seek him. Hebrews 11:6 – NIV
The habit of petitionary prayer is a habit of trust. How we respond to answered and unanswered prayers both teaches us to trust His character and test that trust.
1) Petitionary prayer teaches us to trust God.
Understanding
Not only does prayer help us trust God’s character, it also helps understand His wisdom.
· A lifetime of answered and unanswered prayer teaches why He responds the way He does.
As parents, we know that every time our children ask us for something, it is a potential teaching moment, regardless of whether we say yes or no. We don’t know what to ask for, but God teaches us.
As we pray and come to better understand God’s wisdom, we learn to pray better. But in the meantime God receives the intent of our heart more than the nuance of our words.
2) Petitionary prayer helps us understand God.
Partnership
Finally, petitionary prayer allows us to partner with God in His work. This isn’t a 50-50 partnership, it’ not even a 99-1 partnership, but God delights in working though us.
· He prefers to work though us rather than do something by Himself.
My eight month old girl loves standing up. But even more, I love helping her stand. This is our partnership. Anything that she is able to do, I let her do. I don’t do this for the sake of efficiency.
· This is usually what happens when she helps feed herself.
· Our goal is to see our children become healthy, functioning adult.
I believe that our Father God has the same goal. Through prayer, we get to work with our Father to affect the world around us.
3) Petitionary prayer allows us to partner with God.
I’m still not sure exactly how prayer works, but do know why God wants me to ask Him for things.
As I learn how authentic prayer draws me closer to God, teaches me to trust Him, helps me understand Him, and allows me to partner with Him, I am finding it easier to prayer with conviction and passion.
Prayer
Father, thank You for your gift of petitionary prayer. We know that You do not need us to do your work, but You delight is watching us grow up as Your children.
I pray that You help all of us to become more authentic in our prayers and learn the joy of partnering with You in Your work.
Closing remarks:
I said that prayer lacks passion and conviction when we don’t understand it, but there can be another reason. If you don’t have a relationship with God and you have never made Jesus your lord, we invite you to pray with Pastor Nick.
Benediction (Numbers 6:24-26)
May the LORD bless you and keep you;
May the LORD make His face to shine upon you,
And be gracious unto you.
May the Lord: Show you the joy of partnering with Him.
May the LORD lift up His countenance upon you,
And give you peace.
leftovers
Our greatest example of passionate, consistent prayer is found in Jesus.
But Jesus often withdrew to lonely places and prayed. Luke 5:16 NIV
Here is God on earth, and He is always making time to go pray. Like no one else, Jesus knew that He did not need to pray inform or instruct God, yet He prayed constantly.
· I haven’t figured out how prayer works, but Jesus teaches us why we need to pray.
What I mean is that I recently came to the conclusion that I don’t give prayer proper priority. Usually when I come to this conclusion, I wallow in self-pity until I feel I have done sufficient penance.
This time, I decided to think about why I don’t like to pray. First, it’s not prayer per se that I have a hard time with. Prayer is simply communicating with God.
I have found that that it is easier to do something with conviction when I believe in it with conviction.
If petitionary prayers fail to draw you closer to God, pray will be a chore, it wont be natural, it will be forced. But the more they draw you closer to God, the more natural, more often. So here is how they can draw you closer to God.
Lewis quote: I can see that I effect the world around me, but I cannot know that I effect the world beyond me. It is a matter faith. The fervency and frequency of my prayers are determined by my faith that my prayers matter.
· When all this is in place, we can be assured that we are being used in the maximium capcity that humans can be used to affect the world beyond us (not control, not informing, not…).
The second key to petitionary prayer is reliance; we need to genuinely need Him.
I want to give you some reasons I’ve found that petitionary prayer is so crucial to our Christian walk.
I find it easier to pray when I can see how God can answer it. It was easy for me to pray for His help in writing this sermon because I easily understand His helping me with it. It is harder for me to pray for God to soften a family member’s heart when that seems very unlikely.
Prayer was not made so that God can find out what we need. Prayer’s primary purpose lies in drawing us closer to Him.
I am not a man of prayer, as much as I wish I was. I think there are two reasons for that:
I don’t understand prayer. Why do we need to pray to an all-knowing God? Won’t he do what is best without our help? And because I am not sure how it works, I have a hard time believing that it works.
Perhaps that last part demonstrates the role of faith.
And without faith it is impossible to please God, because anyone who comes to him must believe that he exists and that he rewards those who earnestly seek him. Hebrews 11:6 – NIV
I don’t have a consistent understanding of my complete inability and dependence on God. When I am at a great loss for what to do, I have no problem praying. Time is not the real issue – self-sufficiency is.
Surprisingly, lack of time is not one of them. I have the same busy schedule as all of you, but I have found that when I am desperate and really need to pray, I make the time.
There is also the question of whether or not we are praying for the “right” thing.
C. S. Lewis was a deeply intellectual and inquisitive man, yet he was a man of constant prayer, hence I really value his perspective on the matter, as seen in “Letters to Malcolm; Chiefly on Prayer.”
By the way, maybe you have heard the term “intercessory prayer.” Sometimes it is made to sound a little weird or scary, but it is nothing other praying for God to act in the lives of others.
I feel much better having confessed all that! I think I just might have better luck working with God though prayer having preaching this sermon. I hope you will too!
