Sermon Tone Analysis
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The Maturity Question
Curfews… do you remember those?
It’s Friday night.
You are at her place.
and the end of the date is divided into “Five more minutes.”
I can stay 5 more minutes.
And five minutes later… I can stay 5 more minutes.
All until, “Nuts, I gotta be home in 5 minutes.
And I live 15 minutes away.”
Then Mario Andretti had some real competition.
And there was that one lady who lived along the route home who would always tell my parents if I drove past her house too loudly, so I turned the car off and coasted past her house in neutral.
JK. (My mom is watching, and I know it.)
There is an adult version of this as well.
Whether it’s one more drink, or one more bite, or one more business trip, or one more pair of shoes, or one more swipe of the card, the outcome is usually the same.
One more rarely adds anything.
It usually subtracts.
One more often results in less of what we value most, which makes no sense, but it doesn’t stop us.
The point?
Whether it’s curfew, diet, driving, or spending…
1.
Our natural inclination is to live as close to the line as possible.
What line?
The line between legal and illegal.
The line between responsible and irresponsible.
The line between ethical and unethical.
The line between “I’m still in control” and “I need help.”
This all comes from a book by Andy Stanley called “Better Decisions, Fewer Regrets.”
Andy says that we’re asking the wrong question here.
You see fueling our incessant flirtation with disaster is an unexamined assumption that informs decision-making.
Unexamined assumptions are dangerous.
We all have "em.
An assumption anchored to reality is helpful.
In all likelihood the sun will rise tomorrow, so you should set your alarm.
But an assumption anchored to nothing other than our personal experiences is not only unhelpful, it can be dangerous.
This is why it's important to bring all our assumptions into the light of day.
Doing so removes the sharp edges from our opinions.
It reduces prejudice.
It expands the frontiers of our compassion and empathy.
Eradicating false assumptions from our conscious and subconscious makes us better.
Specifically, it makes us better decision-makers.
It makes us better decision-makers because we aren't misled by erroneous assumptions.
So what is this unexamined assumption that makes comfortable living, dating, spending, eating, drinking, driving, and flirting so close to the edge of embarrassment or worse?
For the sake of clarity and emphasis, I'll state this unexamined and oh-so-flawed assumption four ways:
4 Wrong Assumptions
-If it's not wrong, it's alright.
-If it's not illegal, it's permissible
-If it's not immoral, it's acceptable.
-If it's not over the line, it's fine.
If the problem with those sorts of assumptions is not immediately apparent, just put on your older brother or sister hat for a moment.
If you're a parent, put on your parent hat.
I bet you don't set the bar that low for your kids.
This is tantamount to organizing our lives around the lowest common denominator.
Essentially we're asking, How low can I go?
How close can I get to bad without being bad?
How close can I get to wrong without doing something wrong?
Or if you're religious, how close can I get to sin without actually sinning?
Yikes, there's something to shoot for.
But it doesn't stop there.
Before long we're asking, how far over the line can I go without getting caught or experiencing consequences?
How unethical, immoral, or insensitive can I be without creating unmanageable outcomes?
How long can I neglect my family, my finances, or my health without feeling the effects?
How much can I indulge an addictive behavior without actually becoming addicted?
It's slippery, sinister slope.
2. Wrong Questions
And it all begins by asking the wrong question:
Is there anything wrong with this?
This is a question that often leads to a second question:
How did I get myself into this?
Here's another angle.
Why do good parents tell their children to be careful?
Why don't we say things like: "Drive as fast as the law allows!"
"Drink your limit!" "Go as far as you can without getting slapped!" "Don't come home until curfew."
What do we mean by careful?
We mean use caution.
Be aware of your surroundings.
Don't take unnecessary risks.
Don't jeopardize your safety or the safety of others.
Essentially what we're saying is don't dangle your toes off the edge of illegal, immoral, unsafe, or unhealthy.
That's good advice.
For everybody.
You might have avoided your greatest non-childhood regret if you had embraced that posture.
You'll certainly avoid regret in the future if you do.
One more.
Why do we panic?
Why do we react immediately when we see a toddler playing at the edge of a swimming pool?
They aren't drowning.
They aren't even wet.
So let me ask you… Why do we panic?
We panic because we know that one small step in the wrong direction could result in tragedy.
We panic because there is virtually no margin for error.
When we attempt to warn a teenager standing on the brink of tragedy, they say what we say: "I'm fine.
I'm not doing anything wrong."
And they're right.
But we don't rush to the aid of toddlers and we don't speak to the precarious circumstances of teenagers because they're doing anything wrong.
Nobody is doing anything wrong until they are.
Drawing our lines, setting our limits, establishing our moral and ethical standards on the borderline between right and wrong, legal and illegal, healthy and unhealthy eliminates any margin for error.
It's a foolish and dangerous way to live.
You're dry and safe and then you're drowning.
You're sober and then you're not.
This explains why we respond the way we do when someone we love is snuggling up to that elusive line.
We react not to what they are doing but to the direction they are heading.
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