Sermon Tone Analysis

Good morning and welcome to Dishman Baptist Church.

Please take your Bibles and turn in them with me to Ephesians 4, Ephesians 4.

I’m going to quit making promises about where sermon series are going because every time I do that God changes the plan for me.

It is well written, as our church’s Faithlife and Facebook page documented yesterday Proverbs 16:9 “A person’s heart plans his way, but the Lord determines his steps.”

As I studied this passage again this week preparing for this morning I couldn’t get past the words that Paul writes in just one verse.

Many of us heard the refrain when we were in elementary school - “sticks and stones may break my bones but words can never hurt me”.

And yet, we can be open with one another and admit that yes, words really do hurt sometimes.

It is interesting to me that as Paul turns his mind toward the practical outworking of the Christian life, toward the practical outworking of the doctrinal truths that Paul has been teaching throughout the early portions of this letter that so much of his focus is on speech.

Read with me through Ephesians 4:25-32 again and then lets take some time and settle in to really examine our speech habits to see if we’re meeting the standards that Paul sets forth here.

Notice with me the overwhelming focus on speech here.

Paul starts off “put away”, literally again take off as in taking off a garment, lying but speak the truth to one another.

We looked at this last week recognizing that there is both explicit lying - outright telling a falsehood - and probably more common implicit lying.

Where we maybe don’t tell the whole truth or we keep something back.

We say we’re fine when we really aren’t fine.

There is also the implicit lie of knowing that there is something to be said and not saying it.

Knowing there is an issue in someone’s life and not addressing it out of fear of confrontation or a feeling that it is not your responsibility.

If we are a family and we know there is an issue then it is incumbent upon us to address it with one another - especially when that issue is sinful.

Now we come to this morning’s passage and Paul again returns his focus to the speech that should characterize the believer.

I turned some heads last week when I told you that the word foul here - no foul language should come from your mouth - doesn’t mean profanity.

And it doesn’t.

That isn’t a license to begin cursing like a sailor - something I’m intimately familiar with - but that isn’t Paul’s point here.

He will make that point later in the early verses of chapter 5 though so rest easy on that.

No the word foul here is the word sapros and it has the meaning of putrid.

It is used in post-Biblical literature by the early church fathers Clement and the author of the Shepherd of Hermas to refer to decaying fruit on the vine, to rotting flesh and to useless stones.

In Matthew 13:48 Jesus uses this term to refer to worthless fish brought in by the fisherman’s net.

Not because the fish were rotting but because they were no good for food - they were worthless to the people who had caught them.

Scripture is replete with warnings and examples to watch our tongue and to guard our mouths.

What an indictment that is - that the mouth speaks out of the overflow of our hearts.

A few weeks ago I asked how long our shadows would be if every time we spoke the truth in love it was obvious by the length of our shadow.

What if, alternately, our words gave off a certain aroma.

What if you could smell the nature of our words - would they smell rancid or fresh?

Would they be pleasing or give off a stomach churning scent as we speak to our families and friends.

There is more here than simply vindictive or vile speech.

There is sarcasm.

There is a confrontational tone that we often use especially when we think we are right or have the upper hand in a conversation.

There can be arrogance.

We don’t have to be verbally abusive or explicitly unkind for our speech to take on the character, the stench, of putridness or uselessness.

Sometimes we are guilty of simply speaking to hear ourselves talk but we bring little of value to the conversation.

When I was in the Navy there was one Chief who said something that I’ve never forgotten and always admired.

He said whenever you speak always bring value to the conversation.

He would weigh the significance of what was said in a conversation not on the intelligence of the statement but rather on the value that it added to the conversation.

We can make very intelligent observations that do little to add value to a conversation.

Some of you will be leaving here this morning and heading home or to another venue to watch the Super Bowl.

As we turn on our televisions we’ll be subjected to the expert analysis of the announcer and the color commentator.

The announcer would be sufficient to tell us what down it was, how many yards there were left or what player was doing what.

All necessary information.

It it the color commentator, the former professional player or coach, that adds the unnecessary information that often makes the game tedious to watch.

I’m sure many of you can think of some annoying announcer who just says things to be heard and adds nothing to the enjoyment of the game itself.

Christians are not immune to this.

Consider this statement “For me, hell would be if God showed me all He could have done through my life, and all the blessing I could have known, if I had just trusted Him a little bit more.”

What value does this add - to anything?

It’s not Biblical.

It doesn’t explain anything more about hell than if I said for me hell would be if I had to spend every day walking on a treadmill in a grey room.

We must do better with the opportunities we do get to speak into the life of a fellow believer.

But we must also be careful.

We are all in danger of losing control of our tongues.

James captures this tendency very well in his epistle writing

And then later in more pointed language

We can inadvertently do significant damage with our tongues.

So much so that Paul feels it necessary not only to warn us against lying but here to warn us against unproductive speech.

And for those of you who are concerned, he does address vulgar speech in Ephesians 5:4.

So we will get to that.

As Christians we should be known as those who bring value to every conversation.

I remember seeing a poster at a school several years ago - and maybe they still have them and I just overlook them now - that had the acronym think on it.

Whenever we speak we should consider is the statement true, helpful, inspiring, necessary and kind.

As we look more at what Paul writes to the Ephesians here in verse 29 we’re going to see elements of all of those encapsulated in three statements - Paul writes “No foul language should come from your mouth, but only what is good for building - constructive not criticizing - up someone in need - appropriate not ambiguous - so that it gives grace - gracious not goading - to those who hear.

We are to be constructive, appropriate and gracious in our speech and yet sometimes we find that we are critical, ambiguous and goading.

Constructive not Criticism

There is often a fine line between constructive and critical speech.

Often what the speaker defines as constructive the hearer may define as critical.

So what do we do?

How do we remedy this?

Paul tells us here how to determine the difference between constructive and critical - notice the text.

He writes but only what is good for building up someone”.

The word for building here is oikodome and it means to be in the act of building.

Paul generally uses this term with the connotation of spiritual growth.

Most recently we have seen it in this epistle used with reference to the church being built up into the temple of God Eph 2:21 “In him the whole building, being put together, grows into a holy temple in the Lord.”

As Christians seeking to speak truth into the lives of those around us we should seek that which builds up.

We should seek to be constructive not critical.

The Psalmist and the Proverbs have much to say regarding wise speech

This is also the delineating line between the implicit lie that I spoke about last week and the appropriately unsaid statement.

We should never seek to harm someone or to hinder some progression in spiritual growth by saying something - as true as it might be - that would be better left unsaid.

Yet there are times when corrective words are necessary to keep or to put a brother or sister back on the path to a righteous life.

One of the ways that this is avoided is by our own personal connection to the Spirit.

Oh how often we stick our foot in our spiritual mouths when we speak something that we have determined is necessary spiritual correction but that hasn’t been prayed over.

If you’re not willing to spend time in praying over the necessity of speaking to another person then what you have to say probably has little value to offer.

Earlier this week a crossing guard was praised for her bravery after pushing a young girl who was about to be hit by a car to safety.

Rest assured that there are very few moments in the Christian life that present such immediacy.

Note also that the result of inaction can have much greater and much graver consequences - so I’m not saying don’t ever bring something to someone’s attention.

I’m merely saying to be aware of your own heart before doing so.

The church father Jerome said “Keep your tongue from criticizing and watch over your words.

Know that in judging others you are passing sentence on yourself and that you are yourself guilty of the faults that you blame in them.”

It may be a case of removing the log from your own eye before removing the speck from your brothers - or it could simply be to make sure that your heart is in the right place and that your sole desire is for their further spiritual development.

Too often we speak as the Holy Spirit sure that we know what needs to be said rather than speaking in the Holy Spirit and allowing Him to guide our words.

Hugh of Saint Victor, a theologian of the Pre-Reformation age - said these wise words “Look…into yourself as well when you have to correct another, and acknowledge that you also are a sinner and subject to frailty, lest you also be grievously tempted, if your admonition proceeds more from irritation than from compassion.

Let the correction be prompted by love for the persons and hatred of all vices.”

Now mind you that there is also a fine line between constructive and critical when it comes to being corrective.

Not all corrective speech comes from a critical spirit.

You sometimes cannot build something without razing what once existed.

And we must be willing to do that.