Why We Love Kids

> Why We Love Kids > >> > >>I was driving with my three young children one warm summer evening > >>when a > >>woman in the convertible ahead of us stood up and waved. She was > >>stark > >>naked! As I was reeling from the shock, I heard my five-year-old > >>shout from > >>the back seat, "Mom! That lady isn't wearing a seat belt!" > >>-------- > >> > >>My son Zachary, 4, came screaming out of the bathroom to tell me > >>he'd > >>dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. So I fished it out and threw > >>it in > >>the garbage. Zachary stood there thinking for a moment, then ran > >>to my > >>bathroom and came out with my toothbrush. He held it up and said > >>with a > >>charming little smile, "We better throw this one out too then, > >>'cause it > >>fell in the toilet a few days ago'." > >> > >>-------- > >> > >> > >>On the first day of school, a first grader handed his teacher a > >>note from > >>his mother. The note read, "The opinions expressed by this child > >>are not > >>necessarily those of his parents." > >> > >>-------- > >> > >>A woman was trying hard to get the catsup to come out of the jar. > >>During > >>her struggle the phone rang so she asked her four-year old daughter > >>to > >>answer the phone. "It's the minister, Mommy," the child said to > >>her mother. > >>Then she added, "Mommy can't come to the phone to talk to you right > >>now. > >>She's hitting the bottle." > >> > >>-------- > >> > >>A little boy got lost at the YMCA and found himself in the women's > >>locker > >>room. When he was spotted, the room burst into shrieks, with > >>ladies > >>grabbing towels and running for cover. The little boy watched in > >>amazement > >>and then asked, "What's the matter haven't you ever seen a little > >>boy > >>before?" > >> > >>============================================ > >> > >>POLICE # 1 > >> > >>While taking a routine vandalism report at an elementary school, I > >>was > >>interrupted by a little girl about six years old. Looking up and > >>down at my > >>uniform, she asked, "Are you a cop?" "Yes," I answered and > >>continued > >>writing the report. "My mother said if I ever needed help I should > >>ask the > >>police. Is that right?" "Yes, that's right," I told her. "Well, > >>then," > >>she said as she extended her foot toward me, "would you please tie > >>my shoe?" > >> > >>POLICE # 2 > >> > >>It was the end of the day when I parked my police van in front of > >>the > >>station. As I gathered my equipment, my K-9 partner, Jake, was > >>barking, and > >>I saw a little boy staring in at me. "Is that a dog you got back > >>there?" > >>he asked. "It sure is," I replied. Puzzled, the boy looked at me > >>and then > >>towards the back of the van. Finally he said, "What'd he do?" > >>-------- > >>ELDERLY > >> > >>While working for an organization that delivers lunches to elderly > >>shut-ins, > >>I used to take my four-year-old daughter on my afternoon rounds. > >>She was > >>unfailingly intrigued by the various appliances of old age, > >>particularly the > >>canes, walkers and wheelchairs. One day I found her staring at a > >>pair of > >>false teeth soaking in a glass. As I braced myself for the > >>inevitable > >>barrage of questions, she merely turned and whispered, "The tooth > >>fairy > >>will never believe this!" > >>-------- > >> > >>DEATH > >> > >>While walking along the sidewalk in front of his church, our > >>minister heard > >>the intoning of a prayer that nearly made his collar wilt. > >>Apparently, his > >>five-year-old son and his playmates had found a dead robin. > >>Feeling that > >>proper burial should be performed, they had secured a small box and > >>cotton > >>batting, then dug a hole and made ready for the disposal of the > >>deceased. > >> The minister's son was chosen to say the appropriate prayers > >>and with > >>sonorous dignity intoned his version of what he thought his father > >>always > >>said: > >> "Glory be unto the Faaaather. and unto the Sonnn..... and > >>into the hole > >>he gooooes." > >>-------- > >> > >>SCHOOL > >> > >>A little girl had just finished her first week of school. "I'm > >>just wasting > >>my time," she said to her mother. "I can't read, I can't write and > >>they > >>won't let me talk!" > >>-------- > >> > >>BIBLE > >> > >>A little boy opened the big family bible. He was fascinated as he > >>fingered > >>through the old pages. Suddenly, something fell out of the Bible. > >>He > >>picked up the object and looked at it. What he saw was an old leaf > >>that > >>had been pressed in between the pages. "Mama, look what I found", > >>the boy > >>called out. "What have you got there, dear"? With astonishment in > >>the > >>young boy's voice, he answered, "I think it's Adam's underwear.