Sermon Tone Analysis
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What is our weekly reminder?
Men and women have different goals in communication.
Men communicate to give and receive information.
Export and import.
Women communicate to connect.
Awareness of this reality is going to impact all of our relationships.
Tonight, for our Biblical example of miscommunication, we go to
Matthew 20:1-16
Now, before we go any further, I understand that Jesus is using a parable to teach a truth about the kingdom.
I get that.
But this is an example of how speaking clearly could have eliminated confusion.
All the master had to say was that each would receive the same wage.
There was frustration, confusion, and conflict all because there was not accurate communication.
If we do not speak clearly, there is no hope of communicating well.
This means that we have a mandate to speak clearly.
When we do not speak clearly, we are essentially inviting miscommunication into our relationships.
That brings us to our passage for tonight.
Go with me to Matthew 9:9-13.
Matthew 9:9-13
Here is our topic for tonight.
Speak With Clarity
What we will learn tonight is that there are three moments when clarity is absolutely essential.
But first, a story.
I once had a boss in construction who constantly would give us a task without giving any instruction.
He would then come back to us when we had done the task incorrectly and berate us for our failure.
There was one particular instance when we were supposed to build stairs up to a front door.
He dumped off a pile of rock and a piece of equipment and told us to get the stairs ready for cement and then drove away.
None of us had ever built the rock base for a set of stairs.
None of us had ever used that particular piece of equipment.
We tried, but having no idea how to accomplish the task, we failed.
He returned to curse, swear and yell at us all because of his own inadequate instruction.
Clarity is an absolute essential when it comes to communication.
There are three particular moments, addressed in this passage, where we see the necessity of clarity.
We will be following our same pattern.
Observe what Jesus did
Clarity is absolutely essential…
When Asking Questions
Verses 9-10 set the stage for what is happening here.
Jesus has just called Matthew to follow Him.
As a tax collector, Matthew didn’t hang out with those considered reputable by other Jews.
When Jesus goes to eat with him, tax collectors and sinners come to eat as well.
That’s the background.
Verse 11.
This is one time where I am proud of the Pharisees.
What do they do?
They ask exactly what they want to know!
There are a couple things we can learn here.
Get to the point
They do this well.
They say exactly what they are wondering.
Beating around the bush only makes everyone frustrated.
The Child and the Missing Cookie
Did you know I made cookies?
Do you know why one is missing?
Just ask the question!
Did you take the cookie?
The Spouse and the New Haircut
This is the classic, right?
Notice anything different about me?
Hint - when you ask vague questions, you may get answers you don’t want.
I noticed you put on a few pounds!
If you got a haircut, say “Do you like my new haircut?”
Guys, ask what they tried that was new.
The Friend and the Fake Sickness
Went somewhere when they told you they were sick and you saw them there.
So what did you end up doing last night?
NO!
Ask what you want to know!
I saw you at ___ were you feeling better?
Get to the point.
Go to the source
This is what they don’t do.
They ask the disciples instead of Jesus.
Asking your kids friends or siblings instead of them directly.
Talking negatively about your spouse to friends or children.
Talking about your friend with another friend.
A mature adult is willing to risk discomfort to avoid gossip.
Go to the source.
Gather information
Most of the time, there is little or no value in asking questions you already know the answer to.
This goes back to our first lesson, say what you mean.
We’ve touched on this a little bit already, but let’s be clear.
Ask the question you want an answer to.
If you don’t, chances are you will not like the answer you get.
Earlier example: Do you notice anything new about me?
Consider the position you are putting the other person in.
Getting this wrong = conflict.
This could also open the door to a lot of negativity.
It is so much better to just ask the correct question to begin with.
Gather information.
3 moments when clarity is essential.
1 - When asking questions.
2…
When Answering Questions
Look at v. 12
3 keys to answering a question with clarity.
Let me throw out a freebie first.
If you are wanting to avoid asking someone directly, don’t ask others when they are nearby.
That one was free.
3 keys to answering with clarity.
#1…
Be Direct
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