Marriage, Divorce, and Idolatry

Today, we are going to talk about an issue that impacts all of us or someone we know in some way. it is trending issue in Malachi’s day and a trending issue in our day.

Please turn to the book of Malachi. Malachi chapter 2:10.

Malachi 2:10.

Remember, Malachi is in the OT and it is the last book of the OT. short book.

and I want to talk about the next trending issue in Malachi, and that is the subject of marriage, as well as the subject of divorce.

And my commitment today in doing this is:

to preach and teach the Word of God faithfully and truthfully. to not stray from God’s Word in anyway b/c it is God’s Word.

but also sensitively and appropriately teach this. because I recognize there may be marriages currently struggling here, perhaps on the verge of divorce. and we want to help. There are people here who have been divorced and been through horrible pain and trauma from marriage and divorce, and we want to help as well.

and if you are divorced, I also want to say we are so glad you are here.

I also recognize that we have many single people here. and any time marriage comes up, it can be a tough topic.

no matter where you are at today…I think this passage can impact you—b/c even if you are not married, you may be married someday, or God may be calling you to help a friend or a couple going through a rough time.

and lastly, I don’t bring this topic up to pick on anyone. It is simply that next passage in our series.

so I say all that by intro,

This passage I am about to read is not a feel good, lovey-dovey, mushy gushy, ooey-gooey, passage on marriage. Like most of the prophets in the OT—it is challenging.

Let’s look at how Malachi the prophet challenged Israel.

Let’s stand.

Malachi 2:10–16 NIV

10 Do we not all have one Father? Did not one God create us? Why do we profane the covenant of our ancestors by being unfaithful to one another? 11 Judah has been unfaithful. A detestable thing has been committed in Israel and in Jerusalem: Judah has desecrated the sanctuary the Lord loves by marrying women who worship a foreign god. 12 As for the man who does this, whoever he may be, may the Lord remove him from the tents of Jacob—even though he brings an offering to the Lord Almighty. 13 Another thing you do: You flood the Lord’s altar with tears. You weep and wail because he no longer looks with favor on your offerings or accepts them with pleasure from your hands. 14 You ask, “Why?” It is because the Lord is the witness between you and the wife of your youth. You have been unfaithful to her, though she is your partner, the wife of your marriage covenant. 15 Has not the one God made you? You belong to him in body and spirit. And what does the one God seek? Godly offspring. So be on your guard, and do not be unfaithful to the wife of your youth. 16 “The man who hates and divorces his wife,” says the Lord, the God of Israel, “does violence to the one he should protect,” says the Lord Almighty. So be on your guard, and do not be unfaithful.

There are 2 problems Israel had.

Problem #1: is found in vs. 11.

Malachi 2:11 NIV

11 Judah has been unfaithful. A detestable thing has been committed in Israel and in Jerusalem: Judah has desecrated the sanctuary the Lord loves by marrying women who worship a foreign god.

the Israelite men married women who didn’t worship their God. the NT describes this as being UN-equally yoked.

now I want to be crystal clear. The Bible is not against inter-racial marriage, or inter-cultural marriage. In the history of the church, unfortunately some of used passages like this to say that “See God hates inter—racial marriage.” That is not true.

The issue here is that they are marrying someone who doesn’t believe in God.

and this is a problem…because by doing so, at the very least it will cause marital problems, and most likely it will lead them astray to worship other gods, and not the God of the Bible.

and God says by doing so—you are actually desecrating the sanctuary! that’s strong language that what you do outside the church, is worship as well. Your life outside the church must match inside.

This problem is still a problem for some of us today. If you claim to be a follower of Jesus…I urge you and beg you — please only date, only get engaged, only marry someone who absolutely loves the Lord Jesus Christ. DO NOT SETTLE.

I know we live in a rural area, and you may think “my prospects are not very good. there’s not a lot of options.”

better to be single than to be in a marriage where one of you follows Christ and one doesn’t. It will create all sorts of problems.

and I would encourage you if you are dating or engaged, and your partner or fiance is not on the same page with you spiritually, break it off today.

Problem #2: vs. 14-16

Malachi 2:14–16 NIV

14 You ask, “Why?” It is because the Lord is the witness between you and the wife of your youth. You have been unfaithful to her, though she is your partner, the wife of your marriage covenant. 15 Has not the one God made you? You belong to him in body and spirit. And what does the one God seek? Godly offspring. So be on your guard, and do not be unfaithful to the wife of your youth. 16 “The man who hates and divorces his wife,” says the Lord, the God of Israel, “does violence to the one he should protect,” says the Lord Almighty. So be on your guard, and do not be unfaithful.

So What is the Problem — Unfaithfulness to your spouse, which included divorce.

in fact if you look at vs. 16—your translation may say God hates divorce, mine says “The man who hates and divorces his wife—does violence to the one he should protect.”

in other words, back then, men had more power and social status. women did not. it was men who could divorce their wives, and remarry. It was much harder for a women to remarry; she didn’t have many options after that. She had to move back with parents; or maybe she would be separated from children. she couldn’t just find an apartment and job and start over. divorce can be a kind of violence, a kind of injustice to the woman back then.

In fact, many scholars think you can combine both problem 1 and 2. that the Israelite men, were divorcing their wives to marry foreign women who worshipped other gods. Why would they do that? we think to gain social status, perhaps more money.

so they were not divorcing their wives for biblical reasons, but simply to gain power, prestige, money, status.

really at the root of their issue—was idolatry—an idol is a substitute for God—they were divorcing their wives because they were valuing something more than God. and the men after doing that still went through the motions of worship in the temple—but our life outside church must match inside church.

The 2nd problem here—confronts us as well. If you are married, the issue that this really confronts us is with staying committed to our marriage covenant (vs. 14), the commitment and promise we made to our spouse.

I am not talking about issues like adultery that may lead to a divorce, or abuse, or if your spouse abandons you. The Bible does talk about those situations as biblical reasons for divorce—the 3 A’s — adultery, abuse, or abandonment.

nor am I talking about there may be other reasons, complicated reasons—I know marriage can be complicated, and I have helped counsel couples through so many tough situations and heard it all—and there may be other reasons why it may be not a good idea to stay married (and that takes lots of prayer, counsel, and meeting with godly pastors and elders, etc.)

the issue that here that it challenges is our culture, and how it has even crept into the church.

the thinking kind of goes like this: “I will stay married to you as long as you make me happy, or we make each other happy and fulfilled. But if we can’t, then we can get out of it, and find someone else who will. After all, God wants me to be happy.”

It’s a consumer mentality—we do it with stores—if I find a store that has a better price, I say bye bye to my current store and go there.

that thinking has crept into our marriages—making us think the grass is greener on the other side, perhaps with another person. that it’s easier with someone else. that we have fallen out of love.

Oh this passage challenges that…don’t abandon the wife of your youth. Stay faithful to her! She is your partner the wife of your marriage covenant—that word covenant is a great word.

commitment

promise

it’s the idea that you have promised until death before the living God to stay faithful to them as a reflection of the covenant God made with you.

so they had 2 problems—we still have them today.

Though this passage seems negative and challenging--this passage actually lays out a vision for marriage that’s incredible.

God’s Vision for Marriage: 3 things

God’s Vision for marriage is: that we pursue the Lord together.

where do we see that?

vs. 11 again talks about marrying women who worship a foreign god—this implies that we need to marry someone who worships the same god so we can pursue God together! and oh what a difference that makes!

vs. 14 Malachi 2:14

Malachi 2:14 NIV

14 You ask, “Why?” It is because the Lord is the witness between you and the wife of your youth. You have been unfaithful to her, though she is your partner, the wife of your marriage covenant.

vs. 14 describes your spouse as your partner, or your text may say companion. somebody who does life together, in pursuing the Lord.

Malachi 2:15 NIV

15 Has not the one God made you? You belong to him in body and spirit. And what does the one God seek? Godly offspring. So be on your guard, and do not be unfaithful to the wife of your youth.

vs. 15 — that both are made by the one God. your translation may say it a little differently that God has made them one. you both belong to him in body and spirit.

it is a beautiful thing to pursue the Lord together. In fact, if you are struggling in your marriage, one prescription I would write is pursue the Lord together. one small thing you can do today—is commit to praying together, every single day. even if it is just a minute or less. a minute a day is 30 minutes a month—that’s 6 hours in a year. don’t be surprised if you figure out an intentional plan to pursue God together, if that gets disrupted.

God’s vision for marriage is—the best environment to raise godly children. (for godly offspring—a godly marriage between a husband and wife provides the best context for raising up children who love the Lord. (vs. 15))

Malachi 2:15 NIV

15 Has not the one God made you? You belong to him in body and spirit. And what does the one God seek? Godly offspring. So be on your guard, and do not be unfaithful to the wife of your youth.

now I am not saying you have to have kids for your marriage to be complete. some are not able to or chose not to.

Malachi is reminding us that the best place for kids to grow and be trained in the faith is in the context of a godly family, a husband and wife who love the Lord.

our children for better or worse become a lot like us—I often see myself in my children (and it’s scary) but hopefully over time they will see that Jamie and I love the Lord as they see you as husband and wife pursuing the Lord together.

this doesn’t mean that just because you have a godly marriage and raise them well in the Lord, that they will always follow the Lord; it’s not a guarantee, but boy does it make a difference.

a Godly marriage points to God’s marriage to us.

vs. 10 and 15 — reflection of God’s marriage covenant with us

Malachi 2:10 NIV

10 Do we not all have one Father? Did not one God create us? Why do we profane the covenant of our ancestors by being unfaithful to one another?

what is the covenant of our ancestors—that is the pledge that God made to Israel in the OT—he was so faithful to them. he married them.

Malachi 2:15 (NIV)

15 Has not the one God made you? You belong to him in body and spirit. (leave out this part: And what does the one God seek? Godly offspring. So be on your guard, and do not be unfaithful to the wife of your youth.)

Malachi reminds them and us that God made a covenant with them. this is important. Our marriage covenants at a human level should point to God’s marriage or covenant with us. that we belong to him.

this is incredible.

God is the author of marriage, and he uses human marriage to point to the kind of relationship he has with us. Yes He is a father, Yes he is a king, He is our shepherd, but he is also our spouse.

and in the OT—the image of God with Israel is one of husband and wife. God married them when he led them out of Egypt. He was so faithful to them.

yet Israel was incredibly unfaithful back. no matter what God did, Israel cheated on him, committed spiritual adultery.

I mean if you are here and been cheated on in your marriage and feels like nobody understand what it is like—the God of the Bible knows. He has been cheated on time and time again (by Israel and by us)

God deserved to divorce israel (and us) b/c we cheat on God with other things that we think will satisfy but don’t.

and this is amazing...

though God deserves to divorce us, he moved heaven and earth to win us back.

He sent his Son Jesus Christ, whom the Bible calls the bridegroom to live on our behalf, pay for our sin and adultery, by taking it on himself on the cross. though he came for us—we still crucified him. and he did it for us. we don’t deserve that kind of love.

and when you and I put our hope and trust and surrender to Jesus—he takes our sin and spiritual adultery, and make us clean. He marries us. He’s that committed to us.

and he walks with us, even when we mess up.

2 Timothy 2:13 NIV

13 if we are faithless, he remains faithful, for he cannot disown himself.

oh this is good news—even if you have totally messed up your marriage…there is forgiveness b/c the bridegroom died for you. and you can go to your spouse and ask for forgiveness

if you have been broken in marriage, abused, there is good news…we have a Savior who relates, who cares, who can heal your wounds over time.

even if you are single—you are still married—married to God. if you are widowed, you have a God and Father who stays married to you, commited to you.

this point here is a reminder that the secret of marriage, the best marriages are not ultimately about each other—but it’s bigger—my purpose, my vision for my marriage is to display the stunning covenant of God to the world through Jesus.

so what now:

Application:

I recognize situations are complex...

Singles, widows, don’t settle. Marry a godly person.

Take the marriage covenant seriously. b/c it’s not a human idea. It is supernatural, God created covenant. Don’t leave it lightly. grass is not greener…don’t buy into the cultural lies...

in 2015, there was a major data breach of a site. It was a site you could sign up as a married person to have an affair through. and this data breach exposed all the users.

part of their advertising goes like this: “Life is short. Have an affair.”

or this—for when monogamy becomes monotony.

do you see what our culture is promoting? one user said it like this: "I cheated on my husband to find companionship and to feel happy and alive again."

don’t buy into those lies. true happiness comes from covenant and commitment. not affairs.

If you have been broken in marriage and divorce, there is still mercy and grace from our Father.

for those who have been abused, cheated on, abandoned…there is hope and healing for your damaged soul…from your Father...

for those of you who may divorced your spouse for a bad reason, or unbiblical reason, there is mercy and grace. You can confess it to the Lord and find a restored relationship with God. divorce is not the unpardonable sin. you are not wearing a scarlet letter.

if your marriage is struggling, please get help.

Alpha Marriage course...

one of us pastors would be happy to meet with you and try our best to come up with a game plan

we have even helped pay for marriage counseling with a professional counselor

3 Prayers:

close your eyes; if you are struggling as a single person, struggling with being single right now, content, and you just want me to know—would you open your eyes. I want to pray for you. maybe you wish you were married; maybe you are widowed.

invite Lana (1st service) and then Gregg (2nd service). now, if you are married, and your marriage is struggling, and you want me to know, would you open your eyes.

invite Lana Sprunger 1st service; Lana gave me permission to share this—she is someone who has been in a tough marriage, been thru a tough divorce and by God's grace you are remarried. And that you would be willing to talk with women. And then have you pray for those struggling in marriage, those who have been divorced and still carry the scars of it, praying for hope and healing

Gregg gave me 2nd service to pray for marriages that are struggling, to pray for those who have been divorced. He has been through divorce, and he would be the first to share honestly that even though it was years ago, it still affects him to this day, and he can relate. So Gregg is going

all engaged and married couples stand (BTW if you are not standing—you are not 2nd class; in fact, the Apostle Paul in 1 Corinthians 7 says if you are single, you have an incredible advantage). We want to pray for you, and I want to invite Lana Sprunger forward to pray for you. I want to pray for all married couples, and especially ones that are facing challenges, struggles, issues.