Kristi's Service

Opening Music - Joy (from king and country)

Welcome/Prayer

Shaun

Friends and family we are here this morning to remember and celebrate the life of a very special woman. A mother, a daughter, a sister, a friend, a leader. Today is not the end to grief, but one step along the way toward helping grief become ..beautiful.

Death was an invader in our world. That gut sense we have every time we experience it that this is not the way it is supposed to be. We feel that today with the life of Kristi who for all who knew her passed far too early.

Today is about remembering, celebrating, and then about asking ourselves how we might add something back into this world of what has been taken away in the loss of Kristi.

Will you join me in prayer.

Our father God, we are here today as friends and family of our loved one who departed from this world and came into your presence. Lord, it is not easy for us to stand here and remembering and missing our beloved, but we know that Kristi is now together with You in heaven. As we honor her, let the unconditional love that you showered upon Kristi during her life fill this service. Help us to learn how to love others unconditionally like she did when she was with us on earth. In Jesus’ name, we pray. Amen.

Hymn of Heaven

Eric

Scripture Reading

Psalm 46:1-5,7,10-11

God is our refuge and strength,     an ever-present help in trouble. Therefore we will not fear, though the earth give way     and the mountains fall into the heart of the sea, though its waters roar and foam     and the mountains quake with their surging.

There is a river whose streams make glad the city of God, the holy place where the Most High dwells. God is within her, she will not fall;     God will help her at break of day. The Lord Almighty is with us;     the God of Jacob is our fortress.

He says, “Be still, and know that I am God;     I will be exalted among the nations,     I will be exalted in the earth.”

The Lord Almighty is with us;     the God of Jacob is our fortress.

The family would like to share a slideshow of some of their memories with Kristi. If you are watching at home, the music will be removed temporarily. ds

Slideshow

From Misty

Message/Eulogy

Shaun

Eulogy:

Kristi Lee Kincer was born April 7th, 1972 in Coos Bay Oregon to Pauline. She would grow up in Coos Bay until moving here to Vancouver, Washington, along with her sister Misty, eventually graduating from Fort Vancouver High School. She was blessed to raise her three sons Austin, Ashton, and Roberto into young men she was incredibly proud of. Her blessings would increase even more when Austin brought Alexis into the family who Kristi loved like her own daughter. Kristi was even more grateful when she was made a grandma, first by Sebastian, and then by Adylina who both taught her just how much she looooved being a grandma.

Around 2010 she began working at Fort Vancouver Terrace, where apart from a brief stint in Chicago, she continued until her passing. Kristi cared deeply for the residents, the property, and her coworkers. Those who worked with her, the residents, and even vendors have shared with me how deeply they will miss the kind of care she provided for every person she came into contact with.

Around the same time she met and began dating Sean Marshall who despite distance became and remains an important part of the life of her family.

Kristi is survived by

her mother Pauline,

Her boyfriend Sean

Sons Austin, Ashton, and Roberto,

Daughter-in-law Alexis

Grandchildren Sebastian and Adylina

Sisters Misty, Teresa, and Sara

Nephews and Nieces:

Bailey, Cody, Angie, Adrian, Kyrese, Emiliano, and Aliyana

Her many friends, coworkers, and residents who will miss her greatly

Message:

A Life Given

Intro

I was blessed to know Kristi the past 7ish years because when we decided to move to Vancouver, my wife was blessed to be picked to be her assistant manager at Fort Vancouver Terrace. There she not only was Monica’s boss, but her sister and friend. And in that process her family became a part of ours.

To properly speak of Kristi, I need to tell another story. It’s a story I tell each and every Sunday from this platform in one way or another, but uniquely important as I remember Kristi.

In the beginning, the Bible tells us that he created humans. He formed us and shaped us. And he did it with purpose. He made us in his image. God’s most essential attribute is love. Not sentiment, emotion, or passion, but the continual action of giving of himself to another.

And we were created in that image. We were handcrafted to give life, to give joy, to give what we had of everything inside and out with complete vulnerability and peace…because we trusted that God and others would do the same for us.

And God said it was good. We were to multiply and fill this new world with that life-givingness.

The sad story of the fall is that it didn’t take much prodding for our trust to turn to doubt, and for our life giving to become life taking.

With our words, with our actions, simply by holding back love from those around us, we ceased giving life by default and we began to take.

No matter how much we took though, no matter what we acquired, how small we made another feel, we were never satisfied, because we were no longer operating the way we were made.

God’s heart was broken…but while we rejected God’s identity and design for us…he never quit. The bible tells the story of a family and a nation that God used as an example of his continual pouring out of himself, all leading to a moment in history when God would step into history, into our world, and demonstrate his love for us by giving his life fully that we might find that life again. That we could have redemption from our life-taking, and through the life death and resurrection of Jesus become life-givers, once again in line with our design, once again giving life into this world that is so in need of life givers.

I tell that story because it is Kristi’s story

A life giver…not a life taker.

If you knew Kristi, you knew her as a giver. She gladly gave her heart, her advice, her help, her shoulder. If she saw you had a need, she would strive to meet that need without concern for the impact to herself.

And yet, no matter how much she gave…she was constantly replenished and renewed to keep giving somehow...

How...Why?

Psalm 46:5 “God is within her; she will not be toppled. God will help her when the morning dawns.”

One portion of the psalm we read together stands out on back of your program. It also stood out on the back of her neck. This verse. God is within her. She will not be toppled.

Kristi’s life giving love had a source.

She was a woman moved and led by the heart of her heavenly father.

Her kids knew it

As I sat and listened to the stories told by Austin, Ashton, and Roberto in my dining room, I heard story after story of giving. You couldn’t stop her from giving of herself for her family. Her time, her listening ear, her wisdom, her energy, whatever her kids needed, she found it to give.

Everything she did was bigger and better for her kids.

She often used all her persuasion to get punishments for her grandkids reduced or eliminated. At least in part so she could play with them.

She worked hard to mend fences and bring family together.

Her coworkers knew it

I’ve been privileged to see this from a second hand perspective. The way she cared for Monica, for Adrian, for Jade, and every member of the staff that would come and go during her time there was remarkable. And it didn’t end with care for those she worked with but overflowed to their families. Our kids, my in-laws, knew and felt loved by Kristi. And I know that is true for Adrian and anyone else she worked with who let her into their heart.

Her friends knew it

Kristi loved football, especially the Seahawks, and was very good at fantasy football. One year she helped Tali (who was a complete novice to the whole fantasy thing) put together and manager her team…and while Kristi’s team struggled, Tali would go on to win the whole league. (I have heard she shared the prize with Kristi in recognition of the help)

Her residents knew it

When Kristi took the opportunity to work for a year in Chicago, the residents of Fort Vancouver Terrace felt that. The gifts, the tears, even after she was gone the wondering if she might come back…and the rejoicing when she did…As one who has been around apartment managing a long time…I can’t say I’ve ever seen anything like it. She could be and would be firm and clear, but always caring. Always wanting the best for the resident she was working with and the others around them.

When she had to do the hard parts of the job, it was always with compassion and grace.

She once paid for a resident to buy copies of birth certificates for her kids in order to support her in a custody battle. She took that step, not knowing or being concerned with whether or not she would be paid back. She was…but that wasn’t important.

Dutch bros knew it

Though she was recently trying a new regular drink for years…what was it?

Anyone else who ordered that drink was likely to be asked: Is this for Kristi?

Car after car goes through those kiosks every day. Thousands of customers. Kristi is remembered…why? Because as much as those Dutch Bros baristas are trained to give smiles and give joy, Kristi is one who gave it back to them with interest.

Kristi had her struggles, her anxieties, and her failures like every one of us. But because she lived as one with God within her, she didn’t live from a place of fear, but hope.

She was able to give even when she might have gained by taking

She was able to hope even when she had reasons to fear

She knew joy even when her circumstances told her to despair

In short, she set the rest of us an example of what it means to know and follow Jesus who set the perfect example when he took his place on the cross and died so that any who place their faith in him might have life.

And because he rose again, we can have the same hope Kristi had of life eternal and perfect with the God who never quits giving.

The challenge laid on my heart today, and that I offer to you, is to choose to add back into this world something of what Kristi’s passing has taken away. Be givers of life. Be those who bring hope, joy, and love into every dark place. And may the God of Kristi’s hope, who dwelt within and kept her from falling dwell within you as well.

Pray

Now Kristi’s boys would like to share a few words

A Message from Kristi’s sons

Memory Gifts

Shaun Leads

We have a special opportunity now to offer a gift to the family and to one another, to be “life-givers”. Each of your here today have memories of Kristi that are uniquely yours. Kristi’s friends and family would be blessed for you to share.

This is not the time for a story. Very soon we will transition over to our fellowship hall and I encourage you to tell stories, to share memories. There just isn’t time enough for everyone to be able to tell their stories in full in this moment.

For the benefit of all here being able to hear and those watching, come forward and share a moment, an impression, something that allows us to peek inside the window of what Kristi meant to you. About thirty seconds each so as many as would like to can share. If you are watching remotely, please share in the comments so the family can read them later.

Here is an example: Kristi was not only a good gift giver, but a good gift receiver. I have this memory of us giving her something and seeing her little look where she turns just a bit, eyes up a little and for some reason I just remember her always saying something like, “You guuuuys”

Simple…but one little thing I’ll always have in my head when I think of Kristi.

You can form a line right over here, but let’s try to keep the line to 5 people, so if it’s there, wait a moment to come up.

Allow to go for awhile

There is one more song to share before we dismiss to the fellowship hall for refreshments. A song that comes with a story that I think Kristi would want you to hear.

Kristi was getting ready one day and she had her worship playlist (songs to be sung to God) set to random, playing on her phone. This song played…and she kinda sung along, when it ended, it played again…funny…but she sang along again, and when it ended…it played a third time. Over the course of the final play-through she poured her heart out to the Lord, declaring these words with everything she was and all she had. An experience so profound she couldn’t wait to get to work and share the story.

As the song is played, I encourage you to sing along. Joining in with Kristi as we know that today she stands joyfully, peacefully, enthusiastically in the presence of the one to whom she surrendered her heart that day.

I Surrender

Eric

Closing Prayer

Shaun

Faithful Father, we thank you that you are the Lord of life. We praise you that we are made in your image, reflecting your truth and light. We thank you for the life of your child Kristi, the love she received from you, and the love with which she loved us. We wait with eager anticipation for the resurrection of the dead at the return of Jesus Christ. We thank you that we will share with all your people in a world with no sin, pain, or death. We long to see you face to face and be reunited with our Kristi.  Through Jesus Christ, our Lord, Amen.

Reception Instructions

Shaun

pick up kids

there will be a line for food, please allow family members to go through first or cut ahead so they can find seats

The fellowship hall may be crowded, feel free to grab plates and return over here. We can circle up chairs for you to be able to continue sharing and remembering.