A Spirit Filled Marriage And A Grace Filled Home
Ephesians • Sermon • Submitted
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21 Submitting yourselves one to another in the fear of God.
22 Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord.
23 For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the saviour of the body.
24 Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in every thing.
25 Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it;
26 That he might sanctify and cleanse it with the washing of water by the word,
27 That he might present it to himself a glorious church, not having spot, or wrinkle, or any such thing; but that it should be holy and without blemish.
28 So ought men to love their wives as their own bodies. He that loveth his wife loveth himself.
29 For no man ever yet hated his own flesh; but nourisheth and cherisheth it, even as the Lord the church:
30 For we are members of his body, of his flesh, and of his bones.
31 For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and shall be joined unto his wife, and they two shall be one flesh.
32 This is a great mystery: but I speak concerning Christ and the church.
33 Nevertheless let every one of you in particular so love his wife even as himself; and the wife see that she reverence her husband.
You’d like to change your husband
Universal principles that are applicable to many areas of life are contained in this passage
These work in changing relationships
The Scriptures never said your husband is Christ - he is finite
He is not Christ
Sinful, imperfect, finite and so are you
It’s not that he must be Christ incarnate to obey and respect him.
Usually in the minds of men and women alike there is an imperfect balance of responsibilities and expectations.
Unconditional love
and Unconditional respect are both necessary in a marriage
Every wife here knows there are things about your husband that are imperfect
There are aspects of his leadership that have imperfections
Your husband is not perfect like Christ
Your husband’s headship is not like the leadership you find in Christ - it will always be flawed.
21 Submitting yourselves one to another in the fear of God.
22 Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord.
Your own (imperfect) husbands
AS unto the Lord
Children your dad is flawed
Wives your husband is flawed
23 For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the saviour of the body.
24 Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in every thing.
AS
In everything - that’s disturbing is it not - that’s what God says not me.
Your allegiance is to Christ first, then to your husband
This only works if a wife submits supremely to Christ.
Our spouse is never to come before Christ
Because my wife submits to Christ first, she is able to submit to me and to the lifestyle that God has placed us in.
These things are impossible without God’s help.
Must be done in God’s Spirit
Must be accomplished in the fulness of the Spirit
The church is the bride of Christ
Marriage is a picture of a spiritual truth God is trying to communicate to people.
When you put your husband before the Lord, you will have no patience for any flaws in his character.
This is where irritation comes from
If you put your husband before the Lord, you will have no patience for his inconsistencies.
Your husband was never created to meet all your needs. - You have needs that only the Lord can fulfill
If you make your husband a source of all your needs, you have made him an idol
When you make Jesus
When a wife puts her husband before the Lord, the husband’s failures will look worse to her than her bitterness towards him.
Bitterness is still sin, isn’t it? Bitterness is
His past failures will be magnified above your failure to forgive and forbear him, if you have placed your husband before the Lord.
Men and women think differently
Men have a different language than women
Women speak a different language than men
You must be submitted to the Lord first in order to be equipped to help your husband develop into God’s purpose for his life.
You do have a role in helping your husband be conformed into the image of Christ.
You will not be able to fulfill that purpose if Christ isn’t first in your life, ladies.
You are not the chisel or hammer as God forms your husband into the image of Christ, you are the tender hand and kind voice that God can use to help your husband be all he can be for God.
If you see flaws in your husband, it is wonderful to pray God would work to form Christ’s Character in him.
If you desire to help your husband with character flaws or imperfections, it’s important to seek that with respect and helping him as your head.
A wife that is Holy Spirit led and grace filled can transform a marriage.
Eph 1 - 5 teaches that transformation comes from the Holy Spirit of God
The answer to every conflict in life is the Holy Spirit of God
Walking in the flesh makes every relationship worse including marriage.
Spirit filled life produce grace
Humility and meekness produces
anger, bitterness, pride
I believe not only wives can but should make appeals to their husband in meekness
Just like a church appeals to The Lord Jesus through prayer - the wife through meekness makes an appeal to a husband
Areas of betterment in the marriage
Before you take things to your husband to change, you need to take those things to the Lord and receive His power and guidance and grace to take appeals to your husband.
We must trust God and make appeals to God first
Humility
Graciousness
Meekness
Regardless of who it is, we shouldn't approach anyone with a problem unless we’ve first taken our questions to the Lord and asked for His wisdom, leadership, power
We all need to grow and change, right
Your goal as a wife is to help your husband reach his potential
As you help your husband reach his potential, you reach your potential
Wives - you want to see your husbands change, grow, reach his potential
Areas of conflict
Private prayer closet, you bring it to the Lord
Watch God preform the miracle - there will be change
your voice will be in harmony with God’s Spirit
We cannot operate in attacking, condescension, anger, stonewalling
How can I help my husband the wife says?
Sins, temperament, attitude, problem
We look in God’s word
1 Brethren, if a man be overtaken in a fault, ye which are spiritual, restore such an one in the spirit of meekness; considering thyself, lest thou also be tempted.
2 Bear ye one another’s burdens, and so fulfil the law of Christ.
These scriptures have to do with all relationships
Spiritual - you must be spiritual; that is a prerequisite
Spirit of meekness - Sprit of humility absence of anger
Consider yourself - think about your sins, inconsistencies,
Write down all your flaws - we are all
You must have humility
God resists the proud but gives grace to the humble
Can husband and wife talk about setbacks, discouragements, problems without it turning into a huge fight - the answer is yes but it must be done
Spiritual - you must be spiritual; that is a prerequisite
Spirit of meekness - Sprit of humility absence of anger
Consider yourself - think about your sins, inconsistencies,
You must have humility
God resists the proud but gives grace to the humble
You must be spiritual
This concept applies
15 Moreover if thy brother shall trespass against thee, go and tell him his fault between thee and him alone: if he shall hear thee, thou hast gained thy brother.
Don’t talk bad about your spouse
Don’t talk bad about your wife
Don’t talk bad about your Husband
I have a lot of flaws - I deal with my flesh just like you have to deal with your flesh
Read Bible
Pray
Fellowship
Edifying
Consistency
11 For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, saith the Lord, thoughts of peace, and not of evil, to give you an expected end.
My wife
thoughts of peace not of evil - I love her and I want her to be blessed
Husband
Yes He’s imperfect - He’s my calling and I want him to be blessed
There is a danger in nagging - constantly harassing someone to do something.
complaining
criticizing
grumbling
moaning
scolding
1 Likewise, ye wives, be in subjection to your own husbands; that, if any obey not the word, they also may without the word be won by the conversation of the wives;
2 While they behold your chaste conversation coupled with fear.
3 Whose adorning let it not be that outward adorning of plaiting the hair, and of wearing of gold, or of putting on of apparel;
4 But let it be the hidden man of the heart, in that which is not corruptible, even the ornament of a meek and quiet spirit, which is in the sight of God of great price.
5 For after this manner in the old time the holy women also, who trusted in God, adorned themselves, being in subjection unto their own husbands:
6 Even as Sara obeyed Abraham, calling him lord: whose daughters ye are, as long as ye do well, and are not afraid with any amazement.
If your husband is not doing right - harping on him is not the answer
Your outward appearance is not what’s going to guide him to truth and win him over - it’s important but it’s the ornament of meekness
This is a heart issue of respect and kindness
Abraham said God said to go - Sarah says where but she respected him
Please don’t pester your husband because there is a point when words will be counterproductive
13 A foolish son is the calamity of his father: And the contentions of a wife are a continual dropping.
15 A continual dropping in a very rainy day And a contentious woman are alike.
9 It is better to dwell in a corner of the housetop, Than with a brawling woman in a wide house.
19 It is better to dwell in the wilderness, Than with a contentious and an angry woman.
Respectful pure conversation
2 While they behold your chaste conversation coupled with fear.
You could say, I’m not going this route
Flesh and blood battles will never help you live a fulfilled life
Jesus was Crucified to Authorize and Empower change.
Jesus died not only so you could go to heaven but,
Jesus died so your marriage can be heavenly also.
Jesus died so He could make the church His bride, but he also died so that every bride could help her husband be more like Jesus.
Wives can influence their husbands by loving sacrificially.
We must daily practice a never ending forgiveness and forbearance.
every day - forgive
every day - forbear
30 And grieve not the holy Spirit of God, whereby ye are sealed unto the day of redemption.
31 Let all bitterness, and wrath, and anger, and clamour, and evil speaking, be put away from you, with all malice:
Jesus died to make this possible
Husbands are to be helping their wives become beautiful, spiritual, and moral givers of life.
Wives you are there to help your husband become a respected spiritual leader in your home, church, and community.
Helping my wife reach her Spiritual beauty
My wife is helping me reach my spiritual respect
Home
Church
Community
We’re becoming instruments of change together - The enemy can’t stop that
When we become vessels of change for our spouse, we will experience the power of God through our spiritual work together.
Our prayer
Our words
Our influence
Our Outreach
Do you pray with your spouse
I am humbled when I pray with my wife
When we have a disagreement, when there is discouragement, when there is a question - Pray
We are going to see change when we pray for you
7 Likewise, ye husbands, dwell with them according to knowledge, giving honour unto the wife, as unto the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life; that your prayers be not hindered.
The greatest relationship a husband and wife can have is a life of praying together and seeing those prayers answered by the power of God
All around this room are stories of God’s grace
Most of you here today God has brought you through some incredible things by His goodness
Some of you, you are here today in answer to someones prayer
Some of you have been through some very dark valleys
You are an answer to prayer - I have prayed for you
As we walk in harmony as family in the Holy Spirit and God’s grace, prayer is answered and God’s power is demonstrated.