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Friction in Our Marriages - Fricción en nuestros matrimonios
We are in the middle of our sermon series called ‘Fact Or Friction’.
We want to be real about things that cause friction, how that distracts us from what is true, and how we must set our eyes back on Jesus in the midst of the hardships.
TODAY, we are going to talk about Friction in our Marriages
Let’s begin in prayer
Thanks for the Holy Union of Marriage
Protect our Marriages from the evil one
Speak to us today
1-Friction: Overwhelmed by too many things - Abrumado por demasiadas cosas
Illustration: Juggling
Did you notice it was too much to handle and everything fell apart?
FACT 1: Teamwork makes the dream work - Un trabajo en equipo hace que el sueño funcione
Remember in the Garden of Eden when God said it is not good for man to be alone?
God made husband and wife to be an amazing team together.
Never one more important than the other.
Illustration: Three Legged Race
Marriage is like a three-legged race.
If you try to push ahead without your partner’s cooperation, you are destined to both fall.
You have to be in rhythm with one another.
It is not easy, but when done right, you can begin to move as one.
The of Ecclesiastes speaks to this team effort between two people.
Read Ecclesiastes 4:9
Read Genesis 2:18
Notice that God said He would make a helper who is comparable / ideal / suitable for him?
In marriage, it is no longer my needs - me.
It is us and we.
Not her and hers, nor my and mine.
Us and We.
FACT 2: It is all about the Attitude - Se trata de la Actitud
Point #2 – It is all about the attitude
The way you see your marriage, and the way you see your spouse, are largely dictated by your attitude.
Often, you will see what you want to see and you won’t see what you don’t want to see.
We have to pay attention to mentality we are bringing to the relationship.
Here is a quick quiz that can help you determine the attitude you have toward your spouse.
1.
How easily do you rejoice in your spouse’s successes?
2. What is one thing that brings your spouse joy?
3. When is the last time you expressed your love for your spouse in a tangible way?
4. How often do you pray for your spouse?
5. What is your spouse stressed about right now?
These questions reveal for us just how invested we are in our marriage relationship.
They simply point out to us how aware we are or unaware we are of the internal world of the one we have vowed to love until death do us part.
This investment begins with an attitude of cooperation, curiosity, care, and love.
Paul speaks to this mentality as he writes to the people living in Colossae.
He is expressing to them how to love one another well.
This was a topic in the early church that was incredibly important, because the world was watching to see how this Jesus movement would manifest itself in relationships - to see if it was legitimate.
Read: Colossians 3:12-13
If you are not married, don’t check out!!!
This applies not just to those who are married but is for all of us!
Paul begins by reminding them that they are God’s chosen ones.
Now Paul is talking general terms about loving each other well, but I would argue this discussion is even more important in a marriage.
When friction arises, when we are tempted to forget what is true about one another, we must remind ourselves that we have been chosen by God and are deeply loved by Him.
This love from God is the basis of our love toward one another.
Without trusting that God loves us, and allowing that love to permeate our lives, we have no hope of being able to love one another well.
It is because of this love that Paul give this very important instruction in verse 12.
Point #2 – We choose what we wear
FACT 3: We choose what we wear - Elegimos lo que llevamos
Illustration: Do you remember when you were young, those days before the first day of school?
You would have those butterflies in your stomach as a new year was about to begin.
Of all the things to worry about, there was always only one thing on your mind: What were you going to wear?
Right?
This was the most important decision to make.
So you would go new clothes shopping, and the night before school began you would lay them out on your floor just to make sure you were ready.
This is what Paul is saying in this passage.
He instructs his readers to “put on then”.
This Greek word is the word enduo (en-doo-o).
It means to clothe yourself.
It has this sense of sinking into a garment.
It is picking out clothes to wear, only we aren’t picking out shirts and jeans, we are choosing what kind of attitudes we will put on or wear.
He tells us to clothe ourselves, to put on compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience.
These different attitudes are often forgotten about in a marriage when things get hard.
We do not naturally put these one.
We have to intentionally choose to them and intentionally express them.
When you are stressed and your spouse asks you to do something that you do not want to do, how do you respond?
Frustration?
Instead, choose patience.
It’s been a bad day, and your spouse forgot to do something that was important.
How do you respond?
Anger?
Instead, put on compassion.
In verse 14 Paul introduces an incredibly important aspect of a successful marriage.
It is forgiveness.
He says if someone has a grievance against someone else, you should choose to forgive them.
Put on forgiveness.
He does not say to forgive because they deserve it.
He does not say forgive because you will get a pat on the back.
He does not say forgive because your spouse will magically become a perfect husband or wife.
He says to do it because you have been forgiven by God already.
We forgive because we have been forgiven.
He continues with the key to your marriage.
READ Colossians 3:14-16
Here is the secret sauce.
This is what binds this all together.
This is what enables a marriage to navigate the highs and lows of life.
It is love.
Point #3 – Love is the glue
FACT 4: Love is the glue - El amor es el pegamento
Paul says clothe yourself in love because it holds all the other attitudes in place.
It is the bonding agent.
Like super glue, like cement, love is secure.
The word ‘love’ that Paul uses here is the word agape (ag-ah-pay).
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