Proverbs 25- Principals of relational peace
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This is a proverb penned by the King Solomon and procured by Hezekiah, then recorded for further use!
As christians we claim to be people who hate division and love peace. We strive for peace.
Our Bible is full of passages like
Romans 14:19 “19 Let us therefore follow after the things which make for peace, and things wherewith one may edify another.”
19 Let us therefore follow after the things which make for peace, and things wherewith one may edify another.
Hebrews 12:14 “14 Follow peace with all men, and holiness, without which no man shall see the Lord:”
14 Follow peace with all men, and holiness, without which no man shall see the Lord:
Matthew 5:9 “9 Blessed are the peacemakers: for they shall be called the children of God.”
9 Blessed are the peacemakers: for they shall be called the children of God.
We love peace!…
We Love peace we seek it but lets be honest
It’s hard. Right?
Conflict seems unavoidable
That guy…
her...
that road rage
did they really just...
that colleague
What ever it may be we can find our selves in conflict event when we seek to avoid it.
Stuff just happens.
Or maybe we know we are in conflict and are looking for a way to kill it?
We just don’t know what to say ?
Or man they’re so difficult
That’s ok. It is in Proverbs 25 we can find powerful principals for peace in our problematic and personal problems!
1 These are also proverbs of Solomon, which the men of Hezekiah king of Judah copied out. 2 It is the glory of God to conceal a thing: But the honour of kings is to search out a matter. 3 The heaven for height, and the earth for depth, And the heart of kings is unsearchable. 4 Take away the dross from the silver, And there shall come forth a vessel for the finer. 5 Take away the wicked from before the king, And his throne shall be established in righteousness. 6 Put not forth thyself in the presence of the king, And stand not in the place of great men: 7 For better it is that it be said unto thee, Come up hither; Than that thou shouldest be put lower in the presence of the prince Whom thine eyes have seen. 8 Go not forth hastily to strive, Lest thou know not what to do in the end thereof, When thy neighbour hath put thee to shame. 9 Debate thy cause with thy neighbour himself; And discover not a secret to another: 10 Lest he that heareth it put thee to shame, And thine infamy turn not away. 11 A word fitly spoken Is like apples of gold in pictures of silver. 12 As an earring of gold, and an ornament of fine gold, So is a wise reprover upon an obedient ear. 13 As the cold of snow in the time of harvest, So is a faithful messenger to them that send him: For he refresheth the soul of his masters. 14 Whoso boasteth himself of a false gift Is like clouds and wind without rain. 15 By long forbearing is a prince persuaded, And a soft tongue breaketh the bone. 16 Hast thou found honey? eat so much as is sufficient for thee, Lest thou be filled therewith, and vomit it. 17 Withdraw thy foot from thy neighbour’s house; Lest he be weary of thee, and so hate thee. 18 A man that beareth false witness against his neighbour Is a maul, and a sword, and a sharp arrow. 19 Confidence in an unfaithful man in time of trouble Is like a broken tooth, and a foot out of joint. 20 As he that taketh away a garment in cold weather, And as vinegar upon nitre, So is he that singeth songs to an heavy heart. 21 If thine enemy be hungry, give him bread to eat; And if he be thirsty, give him water to drink: 22 For thou shalt heap coals of fire upon his head, And the Lord shall reward thee. 23 The north wind driveth away rain: So doth an angry countenance a backbiting tongue. 24 It is better to dwell in the corner of the housetop, Than with a brawling woman and in a wide house. 25 As cold waters to a thirsty soul, So is good news from a far country. 26 A righteous man falling down before the wicked Is as a troubled fountain, and a corrupt spring. 27 It is not good to eat much honey: So for men to search their own glory is not glory. 28 He that hath no rule over his own spirit Is like a city that is broken down, and without walls.
Aren’t you happy that we serve the God of peace!
He goes by Jehovahshalom
Judges 6:24 “24 Then Gideon built an altar there unto the Lord, and called it Jehovah-shalom:
24 Then Gideon built an altar there unto the Lord, and called it Jehovah-shalom: unto this day it is yet in Ophrah of the Abi-ezrites.
Prince of peace- Is 9:6 “6 For unto us a child is born, unto us a son is given: And the government shall be upon his shoulder: And his name shall be called Wonderful, Counseller, The mighty God, The everlasting Father, The Prince of Peace.”
6 For unto us a child is born, unto us a son is given: And the government shall be upon his shoulder: And his name shall be called Wonderful, Counseller, The mighty God, The everlasting Father, The Prince of Peace.
WE CAN HAVE PEACE in our relationships!
Patience is important
Patience is important
Proverbs 25:8 “8 Go not forth hastily to strive, Lest thou know not what to do in the end thereof, When thy neighbour hath put thee to shame.”
8 Go not forth hastily to strive, Lest thou know not what to do in the end thereof, When thy neighbour hath put thee to shame.
Don’t rush into conflict
Don’t lose your cool
Don’t jump to conclusions
hear the whole story
Learn to mull it over
think first
Many good people have gotten themselves in trouble because they refuse(or forget) to process and pray.
Moses lost his temper and struck a stone and it cost him a blessing
David almost killed a man when he lost his temper in 2 Samuel
Remember when David was quick to issue a judgment to Nathan and it was actually about him self
Im not saying anger is wrong either
Eph 4:26 “26 Be ye angry, and sin not: let not the sun go down upon your wrath:”
26 Be ye angry, and sin not: let not the sun go down upon your wrath:
Jesus was angry at times
I am saying that a blown temper and unbridled anger are not conducive to peace making
Pro 14:17 “17 He that is soon angry dealeth foolishly: And a man of wicked devices is hated.”
17 He that is soon angry dealeth foolishly: And a man of wicked devices is hated.
Blowing up is foolish
Proverbs 15:18 “18 A wrathful man stirreth up strife: But he that is slow to anger appeaseth strife.”
18 A wrathful man stirreth up strife: But he that is slow to anger appeaseth strife.
It makes the situation worse
Proverbs 18:13 “13 He that answereth a matter before he heareth it, It is folly and shame unto him.”
13 He that answereth a matter before he heareth it, It is folly and shame unto him.
To respond in haste is shameful
Proverbs 29:20 “20 Seest thou a man that is hasty in his words? There is more hope of a fool than of him.”
20 Seest thou a man that is hasty in his words? There is more hope of a fool than of him.
Chill, to not is foolish
James 1:19 “19 Wherefore, my beloved brethren, let every man be swift to hear, slow to speak, slow to wrath:”
19 Wherefore, my beloved brethren, let every man be swift to hear, slow to speak, slow to wrath:
Pray,Process, and be patient before engaging in conflict
Keep conflict private
Keep conflict private
Prov 25:9-10 “9 Debate thy cause with thy neighbour himself; And discover not a secret to another: 10 Lest he that heareth it put thee to shame, And thine infamy turn not away.”
9 Debate thy cause with thy neighbour himself; And discover not a secret to another: 10 Lest he that heareth it put thee to shame, And thine infamy turn not away.
Conflict is best handled directly
passive aggressive and indirectly are unwise ways to communicate
In regards to an issue the circle of knowledge should only be as big as the circle of need
Don’t air out mess
i.e. maybe delete that post
maybe take of that carbon copy on that email
stop talking about it?
Jesus explains that conflict is best handled person to person
Jesus explains that conflict is best handled person to person
Matthew 18:15 “15 Moreover if thy brother shall trespass against thee, go and tell him his fault between thee and him alone: if he shall hear thee, thou hast gained thy brother.”
15 Moreover if thy brother shall trespass against thee, go and tell him his fault between thee and him alone: if he shall hear thee, thou hast gained thy brother.
alone too
Go privately
Proverbs 17:9 “9 He that covereth a transgression seeketh love; But he that repeateth a matter separateth very friends.”
9 He that covereth a transgression seeketh love; But he that repeateth a matter separateth very friends.
If you really care about the person and preserving the relationship you’d handle the conflict privately
Proverbs 10:12 “12 Hatred stirreth up strifes: But love covereth all sins.”
12 Hatred stirreth up strifes: But love covereth all sins.
So many relationships would be saved and problems avoided if we’d just go to that person and talk.
NOT about them but to them
Speak precariously
Speak precariously
Proverbs 25:11-13 “11 A word fitly spoken Is like apples of gold in pictures of silver. 12 As an earring of gold, and an ornament of fine gold, So is a wise reprover upon an obedient ear. 13 As the cold of snow in the time of harvest, So is a faithful messenger to them that send him: For he refresheth the soul of his masters.”
11 A word fitly spoken Is like apples of gold in pictures of silver. 12 As an earring of gold, and an ornament of fine gold, So is a wise reprover upon an obedient ear. 13 As the cold of snow in the time of harvest, So is a faithful messenger to them that send him: For he refresheth the soul of his masters.
We need to know the power of our words!
We’ve got life and death in our tongue
Prov 18:21 “21 Death and life are in the power of the tongue: And they that love it shall eat the fruit thereof.”
21 Death and life are in the power of the tongue: And they that love it shall eat the fruit thereof.
The tongue is powerful
Proverbs 25:18 “18 A man that beareth false witness against his neighbour Is a maul, and a sword, and a sharp arrow.”
18 A man that beareth false witness against his neighbour Is a maul, and a sword, and a sharp arrow.
It can even be a weapon
It can also heal
You can actually kill the “beef” entirely with the right words!
Proverbs 15:23 “23 A man hath joy by the answer of his mouth: And a word spoken in due season, how good is it!”
23 A man hath joy by the answer of his mouth: And a word spoken in due season, how good is it!
Let’s pray for the right words
For the Persons benefit
For the Persons benefit
Proverbs 25:21-22 “21 If thine enemy be hungry, give him bread to eat; And if he be thirsty, give him water to drink: 22 For thou shalt heap coals of fire upon his head, And the Lord shall reward thee.”
21 If thine enemy be hungry, give him bread to eat; And if he be thirsty, give him water to drink: 22 For thou shalt heap coals of fire upon his head, And the Lord shall reward thee.
We should seek their best
Love them
serve them
Jesus said- Matthew 5:44 “44 But I say unto you, Love your enemies, bless them that curse you, do good to them that hate you, and pray for them which despitefully use you, and persecute you;”
44 But I say unto you, Love your enemies, bless them that curse you, do good to them that hate you, and pray for them which despitefully use you, and persecute you;
We may say:
“they hurt me so bad...”
“they did this...”
“But they have yet to...”
They just don’t deserve my mercy
Friend we didn’t deserve God’s mercy
He loved us while we were sinners
Romans 5:8 “8 But God commendeth his love toward us, in that, while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us.”
8 But God commendeth his love toward us, in that, while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us.
Ephesians 4:32 “32 And be ye kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God for Christ’s sake hath forgiven you.”
32 And be ye kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God for Christ’s sake hath forgiven you.
Because God loved and served us we can love and serve our enemies!
Our peace with people stems from the provision made for us in the person of Jesus and in his passion!
Ultimately it can help lead to peace
Romans 12:21 “21 Be not overcome of evil, but overcome evil with good.”
21 Be not overcome of evil, but overcome evil with good.
We must also find peace personally
We must also find peace personally
Proverbs 25:28 “28 He that hath no rule over his own spirit Is like a city that is broken down, and without walls.”
28 He that hath no rule over his own spirit Is like a city that is broken down, and without walls.
Finding and end to conflict starts with you
A lack of resolution for a resolution will result in further altercation
We can do none of the other principals of peace found here with our first purposing to do so
We must place these principals in our heart. The time to prepare is before the battle.
Maybe theres and enemy you should pray for?
A person to seek reconciliation with ?
A conflict that need to go?
I pray 2 Thess 3:16 “16 Now the Lord of peace himself give you peace always by all means. The Lord be with you all.” over you.
16 Now the Lord of peace himself give you peace always by all means. The Lord be with you all.