Family Matters Colossians 3:18-21
Transcript Search
Notes
Transcript
Sermon Tone Analysis
A
D
F
J
S
Emotion
A
C
T
Language
O
C
E
A
E
Social
Hello again, today we are picking up where we left off last week looking at God’s design for marriage. We already learned that the marriage relationship was created to reflect Christ’s relationship with His Bride the church. We also recognized that it is vital to follow God’s design for marriage so that He can do His work in us and through us to sustain a marriage that is growing in Christlikeness. Now we are going to reread Col 3:1-21 and discover exactly what God calls us to be and do so that wives may submit to their husband and husbands may love their wife. Before we open God’s Word, let’s pray…
Please turn in your Bible to Col 3:1 and follow along as I read:
Since, then, you have been raised with Christ, set your hearts on things above, where Christ is, seated at the right hand of God.
Set your minds on things above, not on earthly things.
For you died, and your life is now hidden with Christ in God.
When Christ, who is your life, appears, then you also will appear with him in glory.
Put to death, therefore, whatever belongs to your earthly nature: sexual immorality, impurity, lust, evil desires and greed, which is idolatry.
Because of these, the wrath of God is coming.
You used to walk in these ways, in the life you once lived.
But now you must also rid yourselves of all such things as these: anger, rage, malice, slander, and filthy language from your lips.
Do not lie to each other, since you have taken off your old self with its practices
and have put on the new self, which is being renewed in knowledge in the image of its Creator.
Here there is no Gentile or Jew, circumcised or uncircumcised, barbarian, Scythian, slave or free, but Christ is all, and is in all.
Therefore, as God’s chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience.
Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you.
And over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity.
Let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, since as members of one body you were called to peace. And be thankful.
Let the message of Christ dwell among you richly as you teach and admonish one another with all wisdom through psalms, hymns, and songs from the Spirit, singing to God with gratitude in your hearts.
And whatever you do, whether in word or deed, do it all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him.
Wives, submit yourselves to your husbands, as is fitting in the Lord.
Husbands, love your wives and do not be harsh with them.
Children, obey your parents in everything, for this pleases the Lord.
Fathers, do not embitter your children, or they will become discouraged.
Advance slide:
Since, then, you have been raised with Christ, set your hearts on things above, where Christ is, seated at the right hand of God.
First, Paul tells us to “set your hearts on things above, not on earthly things” 3:1. In order to have a God honoring marriage, both the husband and the wife must be living for God’s Kingdom purposes. Unfortunately, some spouses end up living for their own little kingdom of one, making humble submission and selfless love impossible.
In verse 3:5 we are told to:
Put to death, therefore, whatever belongs to your earthly nature: sexual immorality, impurity, lust, evil desires and greed, which is idolatry.
Paul said to:
But now you must also rid yourselves of all such things as these: anger, rage, malice, slander, and filthy language from your lips.
Do not lie to each other, since you have taken off your old self with its practices
and have put on the new self, which is being renewed in knowledge in the image of its Creator.
Verse 10 is in the present perfect tense, it expresses a past action that has present/ongoing consequences. This phrase, “image of its Creator” or image of God in Latin is “imago dei,” and is foundational to the Christian faith.
Advance slide:
Then God said, “Let us make mankind in our image, in our likeness, so that they may rule over the fish in the sea and the birds in the sky, over the livestock and all the wild animals, and over all the creatures that move along the ground.”
See, mankind was made in the image of God, but because of the Fall, sin’s effects have marred that image. Now, God is at work in every believer’s life, remaking us into the fullness of the image of Christ. The author of Hebrews explains it this way:
For by one sacrifice he has made perfect forever those who are being made holy.
This is another present perfect tense. Christ’s finished work on the Cross paid the penalty for our sin (past action), and the Father now views us through Jesus’ substitutionary atonement as holy and righteous those who are being made holy, or those believers who are being remade into the image of Christ (present/ongoing action).
This is important for wives and husbands to remember, each of them is a work in progress by God’s grace. We often become discouraged when our marriages don’t seem to be growing in God honoring ways. It can be difficult to identify evidence of God’s grace in this change process, especially in our personal struggle with sin and suffering. I have heard it said that change is best measured in decades as you look back over your life and recognize particular areas where the Lord has grown you and your spouse. When in doubt, remember Paul’s words:
being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus.
And:
The one who calls you is faithful, and he will do it.
One of the worst things we can do in our marriage is to place our hope for change in our spouse rather than in Christ. When we do this we place unrealistic expectations on our spouse and set ourselves up for disappointment and frustration. We must always keep our hope in the Lord, that He will do the work that only He can do. Real and lasting change comes from the Lord, because only He can change hearts and renew minds. Marriages survive and thrive as each spouse recognizes their own need for change and seeks the Lord's help. We commit ourselves and our spouse to the Lord, because He is faithful to complete the good work He began in us!
Back to our passage, we recognize Paul transitions in verse 12 with “therefore.” He of course is referring to his previous statements. He is saying, since you have been raised with Christ, and put to death your earthly nature, and have put on the new self that is being renewed in the image of Christ:
Therefore, as God’s chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience.
Imagine a marriage overflowing with these qualities! How amazing it would be to experience these relational blessings:
Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you.
Throughout my years counseling married couples, I have found unforgiveness to be one of the leading causes of marital breakdown. Harboring unforgiveness in our hearts causes spiritual cancer that devastates our relationship with God and others. Bear with each other in your marriage, and forgive one another as the Lord forgave you:
And over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity.
We are expected to put on love, there is an action of putting off the earthly nature, and putting on our new nature that is being made into the likeness of Jesus. We must choose to put to death our selfish desires and join God in the work He desires to do in us and through us. Right here is one reason many marriages fail. One or both spouses are more interested in pursuing their selfish desires rather than obeying God’s desire. Listen, the Lord is concerned with your holiness and your happiness. Not the shallow happiness that our selfish desires long for, but true happiness that comes from knowing, loving, and obeying God. We also put on the new self when we:
Let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, since as members of one body you were called to peace. And be thankful.
Notice the way Paul says “let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts.” As believers we have Christ in us through the indwelling Holy Spirit, the peace of Christ mapped right onto our hearts! God has lavished His grace upon us, He held nothing back! We are joint heirs with Christ! Given every spiritual blessing in Him! Therefore, why not let the peace of Christ rule in our hearts. Why do we keep giving our circumstances the power to rob us of the peace that Jesus died on the Cross for us to have? I have to confess, I have been deeply convicted of robbing myself of the peace of Christ more times than I like to admit. Just imagine what our lives would be like if we truly let the peace of Christ rule in our hearts. Giving control over to the Lord and allowing Him to hold all things together. Think about the impact that would have on our marriages, our lives as a whole:
Let the message of Christ dwell among you richly as you teach and admonish one another with all wisdom through psalms, hymns, and songs from the Spirit, singing to God with gratitude in your hearts.
Finally, Paul says let the message (logos) the Word of Christ dwell among you richly teaching and admonishing (correcting, warning, advising) one another with all wisdom. This is absolutely necessary to follow God’s design for marriage. A husband and wife must be willing to give and receive this kind of Biblical counsel.
I am convinced that God takes every opportunity in a marriage to show us our need for Him…Amen? And here is the amazing thing, He uses imperfect people in an imperfect marriage to speak truth in love to one another. It is vital that we maintain a humble teachable spirit that welcomes Biblical counsel in all its forms. By God’s grace I have grown to appreciate my wife’s words of wisdom. I have good reason to invite Kathy to speak into my life. For one God has given her to me as my helpmate and this is a key way she helps me to grow in Christlikeness. Secondly, she is more sanctified than I am, having spent most of her life following the Lord. Therefore, I value her input, knowing her words come from a heart that knows and loves Jesus. This continues to be a key way the Lord keeps our marriage growing in ways that honor Him, and He wants to grow your marriage in this same fashion
Now would be a good time for a reality check:
Reality check
Left to yourself you can’t do any of these things! Paul is not telling us to simply try harder at working these things into our lives and thus into our marriages. That would only set us up for hopelessness and despair as we trust in ourselves or our spouse to do what only the Lord can do in us and through us. No, the reality is we grow in these ways as we:
and have put on the new self, which is being renewed in knowledge in the image of its Creator.
The word “knowledge” as used here in verse 10 has the sense of knowing someone personally through an intimate understanding of them. Therefore, we grow in compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience; we bear with each other, and forgive as the Lord forgave us; we put on love that binds Christ’s attributes together in perfect unity; we let the peace of Christ rule in our hearts with thankfulness; and we let the message of Christ dwell in us as we teach and admonish one another with all wisdom; as we continually encounter the Lord in a deepening love relationship. It takes this happening in a wife’s life to enable her to submit to her husband, as is fitting to the Lord. It takes all this happening in a husband’s life to enable him to love his wife selflessly with the love of Christ. Two committed Christ followers growing closer to the Lord and the Lord growing them closer to each other.
But Paul is not finished yet, he keeps going:
Children, obey your parents in everything, for this pleases the Lord.
There is a specific command given to children that they are to obey their parents. This is mentioned in Ephesians:
Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right.
“Honor your father and mother”—which is the first commandment with a promise—
“so that it may go well with you and that you may enjoy long life on the earth.”
When children obey their parents, it is their act of worship unto the Lord. The more grounded children become in their knowledge of Jesus Christ as Lord, the more likely they are to honor their parents. Life will be better for those children who obey their parents as mothers and fathers obey the Lord’s design for marriage and family.
Finally, instructions are given to fathers:
Fathers, do not embitter your children, or they will become discouraged.
Again, we can receive more details from our parallel passage in Eph:
Fathers, do not exasperate your children; instead, bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord.
Fathers are specifically given the command to not embitter their children by mistreating them. Instead, Fathers are to train their children up in the training and instruction of the Lord. It is every father’s responsibility to shepherd their children, lead, guide, direct, protect, and provide ways for them to grow to know Jesus as their Lord and Savior. Remember the husband/father will give an account to the Lord regarding his roles and responsibilities as head of the household:
God’s design for the family is amazing isn’t it? Based on all we learned about a Biblical marriage and family, it could be summarized like this. A man and a woman each continue pursuing a love relationship with Jesus. They get married and their vertical relationships with the Lord fills each of their hearts with God’s love, then that love overflows and is shared within the marriage relationship. Then they start a family and God’s love continues to spill over from the mother and father’s hearts to their children. Then the children are raised up in the training and instruction of the Lord, and they come to know, love, and obey Jesus. Then God’s plan for marriage and family repeats all for His glory and for our better good. The bottom line is this, you must first have a healthy relationship with the Lord before you can have a healthy relationship with your spouse and children. The quality of your marriage and family hinges on the quality of your relationship with the Lord. Spend time with Jesus meditating on His Word, confessing sin, seeking forgiveness, praying and receiving mercy and grace in times of need. Then His love will continue to fill your heart, overflow, and be shared with your spouse and children.
I want to close our time together with an open invitation. If you have come to realize that your marriage is not functioning according to God’s design, don’t stay stuck. Please reach out and allow me the privilege of seeking the Lord's help alongside you. We are all in this together, we were created to be in community with one another because we need one another. We need Biblical communities that have the message of Christ dwelling among them richly as they teach and admonish one another with all wisdom. If you are not involved in a Biblical community like this through our ministries here in this church, please let me know that right away. It is essential that we get together and find ways for you to be connected to the body in addition to the Sunday morning service. “So in Christ we, though many, form one body, and each member belongs to all the others” Rom 12:5. Let’s pray…