Family Pictures

Background

Paul writing to the church at Colossae (Colossians is a letter)

Paul had never been to the church and so he relys on the appointed leaders (Epaphras) to share how things are going

Epaphras shares of the faith, endurance and struggles of the church

Colossae is struggling with false teachings (specifically about spiritual forces)

Resurrection of Christ isnt enough

Captive to their cultural customs

Influenced by Original teachings that you live how you want then you make a sacrifice

Paul opens with encouragement of thankfulness, prayer, and wisdom

Paul then transitions to Jesus and who he is

Jesus is the image of the invisible God, Creator, Sustainer, Beginning and End, Jesus is the head of the church,

Through Jesus Gods plan of redemption was carried out, and because of Christs death we are able to be redeemed

Jesus calls us to endure

Paul explains that with Christ he is able to endure in the sufferings for the ministry of the church

God revealed himself to Paul and has been tasked with helping to lead the church of Christ

With God, through Jesus, and empowered by the Holy Spirit Paul continues to teach, preach, and shepherd the church

Paul is relating to the church that although they have never seen him, Paul has struggles but that the faith in Christ is what enables him to push on in his minisry

Likewise, in our own walk we should be on guard against false teachings and make sure that our belif is found in Jesus who makes us alive

And because it is Jesus who justifies us we are not subject to human disqualification

Even though we cant be disqualified by humans, we are to live in such a way that shows that there has been a change within us

We are to put to death the old self and out on the new self

We are to put on Jesus and love one another

Sermon before the sermon - New Day does 45min sermons

Col 3:15–17 - 15 And let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, to which indeed you were called in one body. And be thankful. 16 Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly, teaching and admonishing one another in all wisdom, singing psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, with thankfulness in your hearts to God. 17 And whatever you do, in word or deed, do everything in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him.

To which indeed you were called in one body - The church of Colossae is called together

Individually believers put off the old self and put on the new self and together they are to have the word of God dwell in them richly, they are to teach and admonish one another in wisdom, they are to worship with one another, and do everything through Jesus Christ and giving thanks to God.

As a church we are to do the same - As believers sometimes differing types of relationships occur

Template - of someone you should be seeking

I know many of you met your spouse in the church and specifically in this church

Thats also not the story for many of you and thats what I love about the sovereignty and providence of God, that no matter how you came to Christ, or how you got together, you are given a template of what to look for or what you should do.

There is a blessing that comes about when two believers come together

Paul talks about some of these relationships next

Pull out your phone and find a family photo

Maybe you can visually see ine in your head

I want you think about your family functions

What are some things you are responsible for, your husbnd/wife, your children

How do yall interact with one another

If your mad at your spouce right now I’m pretty sure you arent thinking about happy thoughts

Do you have happy thoughts?

What are some things within the family that need to be changed?

Think about yourself, what do you need to do to be better within your family?

Colossians 3:18-4:1 “Wives, submit to your husbands, as is fitting in the Lord. Husbands, love your wives, and do not be harsh with them. Children, obey your parents in everything, for this pleases the Lord. Fathers, do not provoke your children, lest they become discouraged. Bondservants, obey in everything those who are your earthly masters, not by way of eye-service, as people-pleasers, but with sincerity of heart, fearing the Lord. Whatever you do, work heartily, as for the Lord and not for men, knowing that from the Lord you will receive the inheritance as your reward. You are serving the Lord Christ. For the wrongdoer will be paid back for the wrong he has done, and there is no partiality. Masters, treat your bondservants justly and fairly, knowing that you also have a Master in heaven.”

Marriage

I am fully aware that some of you have been married longer than I’ve been alive

I could come to any of you and learn about marriage and family and I am sure I can learn a lot from you

But if I didnt have anyone, If I had nothing but the Bible to show me what it means to have a Christian marriage and Christian house hold - That is all that I need

So today, my goal is to teach and to preach God’s biblical intent and design for marriage

This is going to be a high level overview of our role and not going to discuss detailed things like finances (ex. who does the checkbook,

If just looking at 1 passage I may not get all the information I need but looking at scripture as a whole, it will be clear (Ephesians 5.)

The goal for you today church is to have one of three things happen

1. Be freed from earthly captive thoughts about God’s design and intent for marriage

We talked about being held captive to worldy ideologies and traditions, has any crept into your marriage?

2. To serve as a reminder of what God intends for believers in marriage and family

3. To encourage you that no matter how inexperienced or experienced in marriage and family you are, you can still grow in it.

As we talk through this I want to reiterate that this section is for believers and so there are foundations that we need to ensure that we are on the same page about.

This assumes that we believe and acknowledge the trinitarian view of God. God the Father, God the Son, and God the Holy Spirit. Each have distinctive roles but all are part of the triune God.

This assumes that God is the head and that we are under Him.

This also assumes that God’s intent, design, and commands for living is the only way to do so.

So lets start with every ladies favorite Bible Verse.

“Wives, submit to your husbands, as is fitting in the Lord.

Husbands if you have nuged or made eye contact with your wife, your in trouble

Your in trouble because of this word “submit” and it seems like now a days its viewed as a bad word

The world today in an attempt to discredit Christianity takes the word “submit” and makes it seem as though Christianity makes the women less than men. That men and women are not equal and because they arent equal, the women have to do what men say.

Some men within the Christian faith take the word submit and twist it to mean that the woman has to do what he says and tries to use as a means of authority.

While there is an aspect of the husband being the head of the house, it is willing authority that shouldnt be abused.

Submit doesnt mean to be less than or to obey

Submit means to be under

In the text “submitting” is something the woman has to willingly do

She has to willingly do this because women are created equal to men

So this text would have been groundbreaking for the church of Colossae

Culturally speaking women were viewed as less than men

So while today people are trying to attack Christianity on the basis of equality, Paul in this text was using it to teach equality

Paul is teaching that their cultural beliefs and background about the equality of men and women is wrong and that God intends on man and woman being equal.

Lets go to the very beginning

Genesis 1:27-31 “So God created man in his own image, in the image of God he created him; male and female he created them. And God blessed them. And God said to them, “Be fruitful and multiply and fill the earth and subdue it, and have dominion over the fish of the sea and over the birds of the heavens and over every living thing that moves on the earth.” And God said, “Behold, I have given you every plant yielding seed that is on the face of all the earth, and every tree with seed in its fruit. You shall have them for food. And to every beast of the earth and to every bird of the heavens and to everything that creeps on the earth, everything that has the breath of life, I have given every green plant for food.” And it was so. And God saw everything that he had made, and behold, it was very good. And there was evening and there was morning, the sixth day.”

Both male and female are made in the image of God

Both male and female have dominion

Both male and female are given the earth

So why then does the woman have to willingly be the one to submit?

Why not the other way around?

Cross Reference this text to Ephesians 5

Ephesians 5:22-24 “Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife even as Christ is the head of the church, his body, and is himself its Savior. Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit in everything to their husbands.”

We find that God has a plan and a purpose and his purpose is to give us a picture of the relationship between Christ and the church.

In God’s purpose and design he has given us roles in this picture.

Gods role is for the woman to willingly submit to the husband as the church submits to Christ.

So in this picture being painted the women are the like the church and the husbands like Christ.

Does the church submit to Christ? Yes! When a person comes to Jesus its because they are willingly submitting to Him. And that new believer is now part of the global church and together the church submits to Christ.

In the same way, Christ who is Jesus submits to God the Father within the trinity

God the Father and God the Son are fully equal as God, yet the son submits to the Father

Wives submit to the husbands, they both submit to Christ, and Christ submits to God

Furthermore, women do not submit to all men, they submit to their one husband

Titus 2:3-5 “Older women likewise are to be reverent in behavior, not slanderers or slaves to much wine. They are to teach what is good, and so train the young women to love their husbands and children, to be self-controlled, pure, working at home, kind, and submissive to their own husbands, that the word of God may not be reviled.”

The family picture designed by God is with one woman and with one man

Men, its your turn!

Men, if she is going to submit and put herself under you, God tells us our role as well and we need to uphold it

Husbands, love your wives, and do not be harsh with them.

You might be thinking you have this down. That you tell your wife every day that she is pretty, that you buy flowers for her, that you pump the gas for her. And I commend you for that but there is so much more to loving her.

Lets go back to the cross reference in Ephesians.

Ephesians 5:25-30 “Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her, that he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, so that he might present the church to himself in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, that she might be holy and without blemish. In the same way husbands should love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ does the church, because we are members of his body.”

The first thing I want to point is how much longer the husbands portion is than the womans.

Because the woman is willingly submitting, the mans role is weightier because he is not just responsible for himself but for his wife.

Many people look at this passage and stop at saying that the man has to be willing to die for his wife.

Yes, a man should be willing to die for his bride just Like Christ dies for the church but it doesnt stop there either.

Jesus while walking on earth was teaching caring for his church daily.

Men, you too are to walk with your wife and teach and care for her daily. You need to daily serve and provide for her.

You are responsible for her physical well being but also her spiritual well - being.

You are called to be the spiritual leader in the home

Just as Jesus cleansed the church with the washing of the word so you need to be in the word of God and leading your wife in such a way that both are without blemish.

This is a weighty responsibility with spiritual consequences

The consequences of men not taking this responsibility seriously is being shown in the tearing of families within the local and global church

As you further your spiritual walk you dont leave your family behind

Men, anything you would do for yourself you need to do for your wife!

You are to look after your wife and the second part of the Colossians text says not to be harsh with them.

Again, our Colossians text is longer for the men than it is for the women. The woman submits but the man loves & should not be harsh with her.

1 Peter 3:7 “Likewise, husbands, live with your wives in an understanding way, showing honor to the woman as the weaker vessel, since they are heirs with you of the grace of life, so that your prayers may not be hindered.”

The world sees the word weaker vessel and instantly jumps to the equality conclusion again. That the Bible is putting down women.

Despite what this world may tell you, It is God’s design that men are stronger than females. If given the same factors and conditions, men will excel more physically by nature.

But there is so much more to this text.

Men, part of loving your wife is to understand her. What are her likes, dislikes, what does she want out of life? Could you plan a party for her and know how she would like it? Could you shop for her clothes?

Here is what is crazy, those things are subject to change!!! And so you need to continually be getting to know your wife. Love is not complacent. Love is active and should be ever growing for us.

Understanding also means that when you dont get your way, when you are frustrated, when you are holding something against her, you need to let it go.

When you hold things agaisnt your wife, you are witholding love and honor and that is something Jesus never does to his church.

Think of all the times the church has failed Christ.

Think of all the times you as a believer has deliberately sinned agaisnt Christ.

Yet Christ is continually faithful, loving, honoring, forgiving and so you must be for your wife!

These commands are not dependant on one another and should centered around Christ

Women are not to submit only if the man loves, and likewise men arent to love only if she submits.

You are commanded to fulfill your role regardless of how your spouse is or isnt fulfilling theirs.

Of course, all things need to be centered around Christ. If your spouse is telling you to do something that contradicts Christ and scripture, that is when you are not bound to it. At that moment ladies your submission to God supercede your submission to your husband and men your love for God should supercede your love for your wife. But with Christ at the center, the picture

Application - There are many what ifs, and many ways that you can apply this.

Disagreement in the home - Spiritual/theological concerning kids that is a deal breaker for her that isnt for me and so I love her enough to say yes

At the same time if we are married and in a spiritual situation where we have had many talks, many times of prayer and still might feel different, that she would submit to my spiritual leadership

Likewise, men should defer many decisions to her

We live in 2022 and so women are vital in the workplace and as contributors to the household. We both work and so we both will do chores at the home

She is an accountant who works at the Galleria, I am a minister at a small church, its not hard to guess which one of us makes more money - yet she is trusting and knows that if something were to happen that I would do whatever takes to provide and take care of us. That responsibility is on me.

I know that above all else Mariannes desire is to be a mom. Shes talking about getting pregnant a year after marriage and I am trying to negotiate 2 years but at the end of the day if I love her and she is ready why would i withold that from her?

What about your picture? What about your roles? What are some things you can do to be a better spouse in the way that God intends?

Children in the Picture

Looking at your picture or are envisioning a future picture maybe there are children present

There is a command for them in here too.

Children, obey your parents in everything, for this pleases the Lord.

THis is in line with the 10 commandments

Exodus 20:12 ““Honor your father and your mother, that your days may be long in the land that the Lord your God is giving you.”

We may or may not have any children in here today but there is something to be said about the words “in everything”. What does it mean to obey your parents “in everything?”

Kids and Students - Even when its hard, even when it seems unfair, even when you disagree. You must listen to your parents all the time

God has given you your parents to love you, take care of you, and to do what they think is best for you

Again, the only time where you do not have too is when is if they tell you to do something against God’s word

John Calvin - But why the universal particle [“in everything”]? I answer again that it demonstrates that they must be obedient not merely to fair commands but also to unfair commands. For many make themselves compliant with the wishes of their parents only where the command is not burdensome or inconvenient. But now this one thing ought to be considered by children. Whoever their parents may be, they have been granted to them by God’s providence, who by his ordination makes children subject to their parents. “In all things,” therefore, that is, they may not refuse anything, however difficult or disagreeable. “In all things,” that is, in things indifferent they should show deference to their parents. “In all things,” that is, by scrutinizing and debating or bickering they cannot assume that they have equal rights [with their parents]—even to the altar.

Gregory B. Graybill, Philippians, Colossians: New Testament, ed. Graham Tomlin et al., vol. XI, Reformation Commentary on Scripture (Westmont, IL: IVP Academic, 2013), 233.

Fathers, do not provoke your children, lest they become discouraged.

Paul does 2 things here, he is addressing the head of the house and he is addressing the temptation fathers have to push their children too hard.

Ephesians 6:4 “Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord.”

It is important to note that the only two times Paul refers to the Father he is talking about them not provoking the kids.

This should tell us men that we naturally can struggle with this

This is evidence enough for Fathers to examine themselves and make sure that they are not provoking their kids

Fathers need to remember that though your kids may look like you, they are not you.

They have their own mind, heart, and soul that you are responsible for guarding and training

You need to know your children and do all that you can to help them flourish

Head of the spiritual walk as you are to bring them up in the Lord

If you are disiplining, instructing, loving, in a way that is according to Christ and eximplifys Christ, then it will be much easier to keep from provoking your children.

You need your wifes help!

Not just for changing dipers, or feeding, or putting to sleep,

But you need your wifes help to keep you accountable, to encourage you, to tell you hard truth,

You are both parents and while you may the leader in your home, you both lead your children.

Children are to obey both parents, both parents equally need to be on the same page

You need to support one another on decisions and hold true to your promises

In our text it talks about the children becoming discouraged due to the provoking

discourage - having lost confidence or enthusiasm; disheartened.

Ex. that one person that never follows through, how annoying is it? Do you trust them? Do you believe them? You are discouraged towards that person

How discouraged would your kids be if you keep moving the goal or not keeping your word?

How discouraged would your kids be if you are not living the Christian life you are teaching them

Do not provoke your kids lest they lose confidence in you but more importnantly, in Christ!

Ive shared in the past the staggering statistics of youth leaving the church and the disintrest in it

I believe this has to do with discouragement

The discouragement starts in the home

In addition to having conversations as parents,

HAVE A CONVERSATION WITH YOUR KIDS!

Kids will tell you the brutally honest truth,

Look at your picture and ask yourself, how am I intentionally or unintentionally provoking my kids? Are they discouraged? How can I better lead them? How can I better point them to Christ?

Being a parent is hard. It is a huge blessing and it comes with a lot of responsibility - There is good news,

You are not alone! We have Jesus and because of the Holy Spirit inside of us, you will be guided. You will be uplifted.

You’ll find that there is grace and mercy bestowed on you in your parenting. There has to be.

There is no such thing as a perfect parent but that is why we have the picture from the Heavenly Father

His picture to us tells us that we are not alone.

Heavenly Master

Now please look at your picture and I want you to look at your bondservant

Think about your bondservants role and all that your bondservant does for you and your family.......

Of course, im being devious as I am sure no one here has a bondservant

I am going to be honest with you that this last section that is for the bondservants of the time period of which Colossians was written.

There is not direct application as we are not nor do we have bondservants but there is application that we can still use in our life

Colossians 3:22-4:1 “Bondservants, obey in everything those who are your earthly masters, not by way of eye-service, as people-pleasers, but with sincerity of heart, fearing the Lord. Whatever you do, work heartily, as for the Lord and not for men, knowing that from the Lord you will receive the inheritance as your reward. You are serving the Lord Christ. For the wrongdoer will be paid back for the wrong he has done, and there is no partiality. Masters, treat your bondservants justly and fairly, knowing that you also have a Master in heaven.”

Here is another example of how Christianity is attacked by way of the world, it tries to say the scriptures are pro slavery and they would use this text to say that scripture condones slaves as this letter is addressing them in the home and giving them a role.

What they fail to do is to look at the history, context and time period.

They also do is assume that the slavery mentioned is the same slavery that was practiced here in America

The bondservants in that time period was well cared for - shelter, meals, compensation, ability to buy freedom, ability to move higher up the ranks

Prodigal Son - Luke 15:17-19 ““But when he came to himself, he said, ‘How many of my father’s hired servants have more than enough bread, but I perish here with hunger! I will arise and go to my father, and I will say to him, “Father, I have sinned against heaven and before you. I am no longer worthy to be called your son. Treat me as one of your hired servants.” ’”

Being a bondservant was a way for living and caring for a family

Joseph sold into slavery from his brothers - Genesis 39:2-6 “The Lord was with Joseph, and he became a successful man, and he was in the house of his Egyptian master. His master saw that the Lord was with him and that the Lord caused all that he did to succeed in his hands. So Joseph found favor in his sight and attended him, and he made him overseer of his house and put him in charge of all that he had. From the time that he made him overseer in his house and over all that he had, the Lord blessed the Egyptian’s house for Joseph’s sake; the blessing of the Lord was on all that he had, in house and field. So he left all that he had in Joseph’s charge, and because of him he had no concern about anything but the food he ate.

It is clear that slavery in scripture is not the same as the slavery that we think of today.

Here are some things to think about as we move forward.

Paul here is making the assertion that just like male and female are equal, so is the master equal to the slave.

Colossians 3:11 “Here there is not Greek and Jew, circumcised and uncircumcised, barbarian, Scythian, slave, free; but Christ is all, and in all.”

In this time period bondservants made up the majority of the roman empire and Pauls intention here isnt to start a slave revolution. He knows that the gospel of Jesus Christ would end up getting lost in the thick of this topic. However, Paul does assert equality and is mindful that over time the gospel and word of God would transform the culture.

And so here he gives principles by which moving forward, affect change in the culture.

They were to keep in submition - not submition by eye-service, or to please - but to submit with sincerity of the heart as they submit to the Lord.

Everything they were to do would not be for their masters but for the glory of God.

This does not bring about promise of freedom but promise that they are storing up a heavenly inheritence

They are serving Christ!

Just like the husband and wife roles are not dependant on one another so is the same of their role

Their submition did not depend on how they were treated, rather they were to serve Christ regardless of the treatment

God would deal with the masters according to how they deal with their bondservants

That is why 4:1 talks about the masters treating the bondersanvts justly and fairly. Not just because they would be dealt with accordingly, but because their Master in heaven which is Jesus Christ.

They serve the same Christ.

We serve the same Christ!

So in all of our work, wether we are the lowest man in the ranks or CEO of a company, we are to work hard for the glory of God.

We are to serve Christ in all of our actions.

Submit to your supervisors no matter how hard it is

Deal justly and fairly with those who you are over in your company.

Our work here is not for earthly gain, its for heavenly gain.

Submitting to Christ, the Master in heaven, we follow in joyful obedience to be submitted to husbands and loving to wives.

We fulfill the roles we are sovereignly and providentially given, including childhood and parenthood!

We fulfill these roles not for ourselves but for the glory of God!

When we keep Him at the center of our home and at the center of your workplace, and at the center of our lives, we will be lead by the Holy Spirit and will never be alone.

God is always watching.

Just like the bondservants werent promised freedom, we are not promised an easy life.

We are not promised an easy marriage

But we do not live for this life, we are not bound to this world.

We are free in the promises of Christ for a life everlasting through Jesus Christ.

That is the peace we have here on earth in all circumstances.

That is what brings us a life fulfilled.

This text didnt address the single or the widowed but the application of the text is the same for you.

Singleness you need to prepare for your role in marriage, if youve lost your spouse continue to lean on the hope and promises of Jesus

Keep your eyes on Jesus and do everything for God’s glory

We also didnt talk about unequally yoked or what if the husband or wife is the new believer

Continue to eximplify Christ in your marriage

So look at your picture and ask yourself, how can we keep Christ at the center and continue to grow. What is my role in this?

Maybe you need to submit to Gods plan

Maybe you need to submit to God for the first time