Sermon Tone Analysis

Fool Proof Relationships

As some of you know by now, I have been in management and leadership for the past 20 years.

In those couple of decades, I learned that managing the books, managing the expectations of the stakeholders, and managing processes and procedures are sometimes easier than managing the people.

When I was in the restaurant business, it would have been easier to run the restaurant if there were no customers, but we all know how that would've turned out.

When I was in the Human Resources world, the job would've been great, if it wasn't for all those "humans."

Obviously, I (mostly) kid, but I'm sure I'm not alone in that evaluation.

In our current series, we are now shifting to the more topical approach to the book of Proverbs.

I'll be primarily using passages this morning to understand the topic of relationships from the middle chapters of the book this morning, so if you want to follow along, that'll be a good place to open your bibles to, otherwise you can follow along on the screen.

(Honestly, it may be easier to just follow along on the screen, since we'll be reviewing a lot of verses.)

Before we get there, however, in Matthew 22 we read of an interaction that Jesus had with some of the Pharisees.

One of them, an expert in the Law asked this question of Jesus:

36 "TEACHER, WHICH IS THE GREAT COMMANDMENT IN THE LAW?"

37 AND HE SAID TO HIM, "YOU SHALL LOVE THE LORD YOUR GOD WITH ALL YOUR HEART AND WITH ALL YOUR SOUL AND WITH ALL YOUR MIND.

38 THIS IS THE GREAT AND FIRST COMMANDMENT.

39 AND A SECOND IS LIKE IT: YOU SHALL LOVE YOUR NEIGHBOR AS YOURSELF.

40 ON THESE TWO COMMANDMENTS DEPEND ALL THE LAW AND THE PROPHETS."

I am starting with this passage today because it is foundational to the outline of the sermon, but most importantly to the topic of our sermon today, which again is on relationships.

Or more specifically, "Fool Proof Relationships."

Several weeks ago, when Pastor Pat opened our series, which we are calling "Fool Proof," he conceded, and I agree, that the name of the series is a bit optimistic, but "Fool Reduction" doesn't exactly have a good ring to it.

And as Pastor Pat pointed out last week, we will be approaching the rest of our series topically, since the book of Proverbs isn't really organized in a way to take it chapter by chapter.

As you may have already noticed, there is a lot of repetition scattered throughout the book, so for the next several weeks, we'll be jumping around a bit.

Finally, before we dive in, I want to put out a disclaimer, I am no expert on the topic of relationships, nor am I even all that great at it, at times.

But what I am going to do, and will encourage you all to do the same, is rely on the Scriptures this morning on this topic, and the ones I'll be sharing in the coming weeks.

Based on our introductory passage from Matthew, here is the main idea I want to use the Proverbs to uncover this morning:

Fool proofing my relationships begins with loving God and loving others.

After spending some time on this topic this week, it was very apparent to me that relationships are predicated by how we relate to others, and how we relate to others is predicated on our relationship with the Father.

This is where we will spend most of our time this morning.

Relating to the Lord and

Relating to others

HOW TO RELATE TO THE LORD

Or maybe better stated, what should our relationship look like with the Lord?

The first thing, I'd argue, is to bring us back (once again) to the theme verse of Proverbs, which is found in chapter 1, verse 7:

THE FEAR OF THE LORD IS THE BEGINNING OF KNOWLEDGE;

FOOLS DESPISE WISDOM AND INSTRUCTION.

So, the first thing we see in the Proverbs is that we need to:

* Fear the Lord.

o I won't spend too much time here since Pat covered it in week one, but I'll remind you how fearing the Lord was defined:

* the continual awareness that our loving heavenly Father is watching and evaluating everything we think, say, and do

* Or, simply put, "God is God and I am not."

o Take a look at what Proverbs 19:23 says about this:

* THE FEAR OF THE LORD LEADS TO LIFE, AND WHOEVER HAS IT RESTS SATISFIED; HE WILL NOT BE VISITED BY HARM.

* This is a clear reminder for us that God is in complete control.

Trusting Him, fearing Him allows us - as believers - to have peace.

To find rest.

To trust Him in all things and circumstances.

* When our home was flooded back in 2013, late into Natalie's pregnancy with Gabrielle, and a job change on the horizon, we had to wholly trust the Lord, remembering that He was God, we were not.

* Only through a healthy fear of God, can we accept this.

o Next and closely related,

* Seek the Lord.

o We read in chapter 18, verse 10: THE NAME OF THE LORD IS A STRONG TOWER; THE RIGHTEOUS MAN RUNS INTO IT AND IS SAFE

* The picture of a strong tower illustrates a fortress.

It is a place of refuge and safety.

* This is to say we are to be dependent on the Lord, as a young child is with their mother and father.

* When I was recovering from my car accident in 2004, I had to humble myself as I did when I was a child, depending on my parents for help in areas I would have never imagined in my early 20's.

* Being humbled reminds us of our vulnerability and dependence on the Father.

In fact, Proverbs 11:2 says we gain wisdom from humility.

o Next, we see that must also ...

* Listen to the Lord

o Proverbs 21:30 sums this up nicely: NO WISDOM, NO UNDERSTANDING, NO COUNSEL CAN AVAIL AGAINST THE LORD.

* Now, this does not mean that we cannot seek the counsel of wise men, we see that here in Proverbs as well.

This is to say that we should always seek God's counsel over men.

o How about what we see in 16:20: WHOEVER GIVES THOUGHT TO THE WORD WILL DISCOVER GOOD, AND BLESSED IS HE WHO TRUSTS IN THE LORD.

* This reminds us that we seek God's counsel in His Word

o Next, we are to ...

* Follow the Lord

o A very clear understanding of this draws us back to a well-known passage we saw last week: 5 TRUST IN THE LORD WITH ALL YOUR HEART, AND DO NOT LEAN ON YOUR OWN UNDERSTANDING.

6 IN ALL YOUR WAYS ACKNOWLEDGE HIM, AND HE WILL MAKE STRAIGHT YOUR PATHS (Proverbs 3:5-6)

* When we fail to follow the Lord, we tend to lean on our own understanding, and, as we saw last week, that is something that is very un-wise.

o One thing we learn from 20:24 is that it is the Lord who paves the way, and who are we to try to take over the path that has been set for us.

o This is confirmed in 16:9, where Solomon says that the Lord establishes our steps.

o We may not always like where the Lord is leading us.

We may not always even know where the Lord is leading us, but we have the responsibility, in faith, to follow the path He has set before us.

* After I recognized and answered the call to ministry, I had three jobs in between then and now, one in a very different direction than what I was used to and comfortable with.

But, as I look back, I can recognize God's leading.

I just had to trust Him and follow His lead.

Obviously, there is much more that we can address on this topic of How to Relate to the Lord, but the second half of Jesus' words to the pharisees also commanded that we love others.

So, let's spend some time there.

HOW TO RELATE TO OTHERS

Chapter 18 is filled with a lot of great wisdom on this topic.

We'll discuss four general topics from this chapter that will helps us relate to others.

Now, you may have expected me to break this down into categories, such as spouses, children, the workplace, etc., but I am convinced that these are universal to each and every relationship we have or encounter, even those brief interactions with strangers.

First,

* Be humble

o I used to train supervisors and entry level managers.

One of the common threads I discussed with them is the strong leadership trait of humility.

o Solomon put it this way in chapter 18: BEFORE DESTRUCTION A MAN'S HEART IS HAUGHTY, BUT HUMILITY COMES BEFORE HONOR.

(18:12)

o Think about the example of Christ.

We read these familiar words in Philippians 2:

3 DO NOTHING FROM SELFISH AMBITION OR CONCEIT, BUT IN HUMILITY COUNT OTHERS MORE SIGNIFICANT THAN YOURSELVES.

4 LET EACH OF YOU LOOK NOT ONLY TO HIS OWN INTERESTS, BUT ALSO TO THE INTERESTS OF OTHERS.

5 HAVE THIS MIND AMONG YOURSELVES, WHICH IS YOURS IN CHRIST JESUS,

6 WHO, THOUGH HE WAS IN THE FORM OF GOD, DID NOT COUNT EQUALITY WITH GOD A THING TO BE GRASPED,

7 BUT EMPTIED HIMSELF, BY TAKING THE FORM OF A SERVANT, BEING BORN IN THE LIKENESS OF MEN.

8 AND BEING FOUND IN HUMAN FORM, HE HUMBLED HIMSELF BY BECOMING OBEDIENT TO THE POINT OF DEATH, EVEN DEATH ON A CROSS. (Philippians 2:3-8)

o Well-known pastor Rick Warren said it this way: "Humility is not thinking less of yourself, it's thinking of yourself less."

o You see, in our relationships with others, putting them first can strengthen that relationship.

o You'll see here momentarily that humility really does allow for these next several areas that influence our relationships.

We see next, we must also ...

* Listen to others

o Staying in chapter 18, verse 13 states: