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Marriage 1,
God’s Purpose of Marriage
God has purposed marriage to reflect the covenant of love He has made with His people.
Genesis 2:18, 21-25
READ - Ephesians 5:22-33
Pray
Opener - Marriage is tough.
I am blessed to have a marriage that is at peace.
It has not always been that way, Susan and I during our first year of marriage did not have a peaceful year.
When you take 2 sinful selfish people, stick them in the same house, and tell them to love each other and get along you are going to have some challenges.
We had challenges - our first year there were many arguments.
BUT
Despite the challenges marriage, Marriage is a great gift from God.
Transition - There are many purposes to marriage.
But first I would like to address what the purpose of marriage is not.
1.
What the purpose of marriage is not.
Marriage is not meant to ...
-Fill the spiritual void in your heart - created for God
-Our current culture uses romance and sex as a drug to numb them from their spiritual angst & conviction of sin.
Illustration - It is easy to fall prey to the idea that if I am in a romantic relationship, that I will be happy.
A typical romance movie usually goes something like this...
A man and woman who once dated, rediscover each other after several years apart.
They meet again after he comes back to town to fix up his mother’s old house.
The problem is that the main character, the girl, has a long term boyfriend.
But the boyfriend is sketchy and the girls best friend tells her that she is just settling.
The main character (the woman) isn’t sure if she should stay with sketchy boyfriend and hold out for marriage or break up & move on.
Her old flame who is now occasionally showing up at the flower shop where she works gives her hope for true love.
Then in this made for TV movie, there are moments of tension as the girl has to make a choice between these 2 men.
Finally, She chooses the old boyfriend , breaks up with the sketchy guy, and has true love.
She finds happiness because she is treasured enough to be pursued by a good man.
She feels valuable.
He, the man feels valued.
Why?
The kind of woman that He likes accepts Him.
There is an unspoken message sent - You are beautiful enough, you are good enough, you have what it takes to be worthy of love.
Many times this message is stuffed in the place God has created for Himself.
Hear what God says:
-You are beautiful enough because you are my special creation.
-You are good enough because Christ has placed His righteousness on you.
-You are worthy of love because you are made in the Image of God & have value.
-Christ Followers can fall into the same trap and assume that marriage will also satisfy their spiritual emptiness.
-Marriage, Romance, and sex is not meant to fill the void in your heart God made for Himself.
Transition - Well, What is the purposes of marriage
2. The Spiritual Purposes of Marriage
There are 2 big reasons God created marriage.
They probably are not what you think.
1st reason God created marriage is - so you would...
A. Understand how to relate to God.
-When you consider that the #1 purpose of your life is to bring glory to God, it makes sense that your marriages purpose - is to help you know how to understand and interact with Him.
Marriage is a picture of your relationship with God.
Read - Eph 5:22-24,
God has commanded the husband to lead in marriage, because He desires you to understand that Christ is the leader of His people.
vs. 24, God commands wives to follow the lead of their husbands because He wants you to have a picture and clearly understand that His people are to follow Him.
We have been given marriage so we will better understand how we are to relate to God.
Marriage gives us a construct in having a relationship with God.
There is a great challenge -
There are no perfect husbands.
All husbands are broken leaders.
Your pastor is a broken and imperfect leader in his marriage.
That doesn’t mean that you should give up leading.
What it does mean is that you should lead with greater humility, knowing that the ones you lead have to follow an imperfect leader.
-There is another challenge for us husbands.
We are to love our wives like Jesus loves the church.
Husbands, We are commanded to have a perfect sinless compassionate unconditional love for our wives at all time.
-Husbands, we must confess - as much as we try, selfishness finds a way in.
-Jesus has perfect self sacrificing love that knows no selfish agenda.
-Jesus always leads with the goal of His Fathers glory and our good.
-As Husbands we must lead the same way.
-For the Fathers glory and our wives good.
There is another problem.
This problem relates to wives.
-There are no perfect wives.
No perfect followers of husbands.
-In fact, Genesis 3:16,
Part of the curse on Eve after Adam and Eve sinned,
“16 To the woman he said, “I will surely multiply your pain in childbearing; in pain you shall bring forth children.
Your desire shall be contrary to your husband, but he shall rule over you.””
-This verse points to the fact that wives will want to be the leader in the relationship.
-Part of the curse of the sin nature is that you will desire to take the God given roll away from your husband.
-Husbands, because you have smart and conscientious wives, it’s easy to allow them to lead out - because they’ll do a solid job.
Let’s be very honest -
When you’ve had tension in your marriage relationship, some of it has been over the amount of power & influence in decision making, the other one desires to have.
We want our voice heard & followed.
However, when we are living holy obedient lives … in line with scripture.
...Marriage reflects the covenant of love God has made with His people.
God gave us marriage first to help us understand how to relate to God.
He gave you marriage first for a spiritual reasons.
Transition - The second spiritual reason God gave you marriage is this.
He gave your marriage not to make you happy, but to make you holy.
B. Marriage is given to make me holy.
Illustration - When Susan and I were first married one of the things I had to adjust to was someone always having eyes on me.
You say, well what did you have to hide?
Nothing.
But when you are alone you can have a bad day and act out and it doesn’t effect anyone.
When you are married and live together and you act out - it effects your spouse.
-When I was married, someone all the time saw my imperfections.
Even the small ones.
-There was constant accountability.
It wasn’t comfortable.
Sometimes it’s still not comfortable.
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