Identity: Relationships

“In 1945, at the age of 20, a man named Andre Stamos, he was captured by the Soviets and incarcerated. After some years of imprisonment, he was believed to have gone insane and, therefore, was transferred to a psychiatric ward in solitary confinement, 300 miles outside of Moscow. In 2000, when the Russians were trying to empty out their prisons and psychiatric wards, they brought a Hungarian psychiatrist to examine this man.

The psychiatrist examined Stamos for a few hours and concluded, “This man is not insane. In fact, it is you who are driving him insane. He is not talking nonsense. Rather, he is speaking a rare dialect of Hungarian.” As soon as he was released, the firrst thing Stamos asked to see was a mirror. He had not seen himself for 55 years; he had been 20 years old when he last saw his face. Now at 75, he looked at the mirror, put his face in his hands, and sobbed uncontrollably like a little baby, because of what had happened to him. To go through most of life without knowing what you look like is nearly unimaginable to us Americans.”

This story is a tragedy, and one thats hard to image. Not knowing what you look like, who you are..and becoming unrecognizable to yourself. And a man looking in the mirror and weeping because of who He’s become.

Now we all look in a mirror likely every day. We checked this morning to see what we look like. But what if we had a mirror that didn’t just look at our face..but could look at our soul. You see God says that when he made us, he made to look like Him..to act, and think, and show him to the world. But sin..has made us almost unrecognizable. We have forgotten who we are…we have forgotten that we were made in God’s image..and who we are, whether we choose to serve God or not..are creatures meant to look like our creator!

Genesis 1:26–27 ESV

26 Then God said, “Let us make man in our image, after our likeness. And let them have dominion over the fish of the sea and over the birds of the heavens and over the livestock and over all the earth and over every creeping thing that creeps on the earth.” 27 So God created man in his own image, in the image of God he created him; male and female he created them.

You see we were made to look like God…but sin has changed us. So..in order live our identity..we have to be fixed..and it isn’t something we can do. It is something that Jesus does for us.

First thing you have to know is that you were made to look like God…but because sin messed it up…so God (Jesus) came and looked like us…and fixed what sin had broken, himself.

And when Jesus saves you and puts His Holy Spirit in you…now when God looks at us he doesn’t see all of our mess ups..he sees Himself. He sees us the way we were designed to be..looking like Him

So we’ve talked about how our identity and being made in God’s image…changes how we see ourself, and the things we view as us and our image. We’ve talked about how this identity changes the choices we make. But tonight, were going to talk about how this identity changes what our relationships look like.

So when Jesus changes you…and your relationship with Hiim changes..it affects your relationship with everyone else too!

When your relationship with Jesus is right, your relationships with other people are made right.

Testimony: Highschool, relationship. Kaitlyn. Pursued relationships. Then when it was over, I literally felt like my heart was being torn out. I had placed so much of who I was in finding a girlfriend, and having a girlfriend…and lust drove me to always be thinking about girls. and a relationship.

Not only was I always thinking about a girl, but I spent alot of time trying to get people to like me, to be seen as cool, so that I could fit in with certain popular groups. I got so wrapped up in it, even in college..that I had forgotten who I was, becuase I was always trying to be what others wanted me to be.

The fact that I was so wrapped up in thinking of girls, and being popular with friend... revealed that I had attached too much of my identity to having a girlfriend, dating..and had too much of identity as being seen as popular or liked by other people. Relationships, girlfriend and friendships..had become my lif. It had become something which had taken a hold of my life..and I had no idea who I was..and more importantly who God had made me to be.

I want to show you today how Christ changes the way your relationships look by reading 2Timothy 2:22

2Timothy 2:20-22

2 Timothy 2:20–22 ESV

20 Now in a great house there are not only vessels of gold and silver but also of wood and clay, some for honorable use, some for dishonorable. 21 Therefore, if anyone cleanses himself from what is dishonorable, he will be a vessel for honorable use, set apart as holy, useful to the master of the house, ready for every good work. 22 So flee youthful passions and pursue righteousness, faith, love, and peace, along with those who call on the Lord from a pure heart.

You see Jesus changes you..Jesus gives you the Holy Spirit…and sets you apart for good work. So that people can see Him in you..so that you can refect His image. However, being saved by Jesus does not mean that there is nothing for us to do. It takes trust and effort to allow the God in you to be seen outside of you! You were set apart for good works…if you’ve recieved Jesus, He is in you..but you have to listen and surrender to him! So that the God in you can be seen by those around you! If Jesus is in you..helping you, but you don’t listen to Him, or trust Him..Your life won’t look any different. And your relationships with other people won’t be changed?

So what are we called to do, so that God can be seen in our relationships?

Problem- Youthful passions

Response- Flee

What does flee mean?- Run, escape, get away from

What are passions? Desires

What about youthful? Why does he use the phrase youthful passions.

When you are young....you naturally have selfish desires which hurt your relationship with God and other people.

Youthful Passions

This is not to be understood exclusively as a reference to sexual lust, but to ‘self-assertion as well as self-indulgence’, to selfish ambition, headstrong obstinacy, arrogance and indeed all the ‘wayward impulses of youth

Stott, J. R. W. (1973). Guard the Gospel the message of 2 Timothy (p. 73). Downers Grove, IL: InterVarsity Press.

It is this desire within us to do what we want. We want to focus on ourself. “My feelings, my desires, my wants, ,my needs, my cares, my life, me, me, me.” There is within young people this temptation to think that things revolve around us. You’re young and you want to do your own thing..you want to do you. You want to live your life, and not really listen to others.

But Paul says get away from those thoughts and desires!

1.We must let go of your “me-first” mindset and think of others more than ourselves

We wake up, we think about what we want for breakfast, what do we want to wear, what do we want to do, who do we want to talk to, what food we want, what could make our life better, what could make our life more fun. We come home and tell mom or dad, this is what I want to eat. We go and play the game, or something we want to do. We eat, watch tv we want to watch..and all day have not thought once about..what can I do for others. What can I do for my friend. What can I do for my sister or brother. What can I do to make thier life better. What can I do to give…not get..but give.

If all your relationships are about how they make you feel, or how they make you look good…or how they can get you something you want..we are not really being friends to people, but using people. That does not look like God.

DRachel and Ashley are friends. They’ve known each-other since they were little. Rachel is an A student and works hard to make good grades so she can get into college. Rachel is also a Christian. Ashley, says shes a Christian, but doesn’t really like to study…and alot of times forgets to do her homework. She’ll come into class in the morning and say Rachel, let me see your homework, I forgot to do it. Rachel lets her see it because they’re friends. What happens though is that Ashley stops doing her homework because she knows Rachel will do it..and just copies her. What would you tell Rachel to do? Whats wrong with this? For one it is lying and copying someone elses homework..but the other thing is…Ashely is just taking advantage of Rachel and not being a friend. Rachel, is trying to be a good friend, but is actually being used. If anything they should work together on thier homework..but to use your friend so you can get out of work is a “me-first” mindset.

Take a moment and think about your friendships? Are they good for you. Are they using you? Are you using your friends?

But this doesn’t just apply to friendships, but relationships too. If you are trying to look like God in your dating relationship..you first have to know that dating is not about what you can get from the other person. Guys and girls…if you find yourself in a position where you’re tempted to take it farther than you should…stop! Maybe you’re alone, you’re kissing..watching a movie and things start to heat up…you have to make a decision here. Remember to flee youthful passions. Stop thinking about yourself..think about God..and think about the other person. If you’re in a relationships and you are doing something that you have to hide from God or your parents…stop! You are thinking of yourself! And even if both of you are ok with it, you are both still acountable to God..because He made you.

Philippians 2:3–10 ESV

3 Do nothing from selfish ambition or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves. 4 Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others. 5 Have this mind among yourselves, which is yours in Christ Jesus, 6 who, though he was in the form of God, did not count equality with God a thing to be grasped, 7 but emptied himself, by taking the form of a servant, being born in the likeness of men. 8 And being found in human form, he humbled himself by becoming obedient to the point of death, even death on a cross. 9 Therefore God has highly exalted him and bestowed on him the name that is above every name, 10 so that at the name of Jesus every knee should bow, in heaven and on earth and under the earth,

2. You must pursue God first and desire to please him more than anyone else!

2 Timothy 2:22 ESV

22 So flee youthful passions and pursue righteousness, faith, love, and peace, along with those who call on the Lord from a pure heart.

Notice I did not say, pursue a relationship first! But pursue God first, and then you will be godly!

When your relationship with God is right, then your relationships with others will be right.

John 15:4–5 ESV

4 Abide in me, and I in you. As the branch cannot bear fruit by itself, unless it abides in the vine, neither can you, unless you abide in me. 5 I am the vine; you are the branches. Whoever abides in me and I in him, he it is that bears much fruit, for apart from me you can do nothing.

Galatians 5:22–23 ESV

22 But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, 23 gentleness, self-control; against such things there is no law.

So if you want to be the right the right kind of friend who is patient and kind, good, and faithful..you have too know Jesus. And if you want to find good friends and relationships..you have to first seek Jesus.

You will find fruitful relationships with others when you first are connected to Jesus. I you want a fruitful friendship, it comes from Jesus. If you want a fruitful marriage one day, it has to come from Jesus.

If Jesus is not first in your life or your relationship…true love, faith, peace, righteousness are not in it.

What is righteousness?

What is faith?

What is love?

What is peace?

If Jesus isn’t in you or your relationships…God’s righteousness, love, and peace can’t be either.

3. Build relationships with people that you can pursue God with!

2 Timothy 2:22 ESV

22 So flee youthful passions and pursue righteousness, faith, love, and peace, along with those who call on the Lord from a pure heart.

If they are not drawing you closer to God..they are not for you. If you’re dating someone and they aren’t pursuing God and leading you towards God..they are not for you.

Psalm 1:1–3 ESV

1 Blessed is the man who walks not in the counsel of the wicked, nor stands in the way of sinners, nor sits in the seat of scoffers; 2 but his delight is in the law of the Lord, and on his law he meditates day and night. 3 He is like a tree planted by streams of water that yields its fruit in its season, and its leaf does not wither. In all that he does, he prospers.

2 Corinthians 6:14 ESV

14 Do not be unequally yoked with unbelievers. For what partnership has righteousness with lawlessness? Or what fellowship has light with darkness?

If you are trying to live out Jesus’ purpose for you, and remain connected to the wrong people…you will not be able to do it.

Maybe the reason we are having a hard time following God isn’t your faith, but your friendships! You can’t go to the right places that God wants you to be, with the wrong people who don’t know God.

Heres the deal…you can’t follow God faithfully..with people who don’t want to follow God faithfully

Ecclesiastes 4:9–10 ESV

9 Two are better than one, because they have a good reward for their toil. 10 For if they fall, one will lift up his fellow. But woe to him who is alone when he falls and has not another to lift him up!

We were not meant to reflect God alone, but together! We need Godly relationships.

You need godly relationships! When your relationships with Jesus is right, and you have the right friendships..you are able to live out your purpose for God!

Mark 2:1–12 ESV

1 And when he returned to Capernaum after some days, it was reported that he was at home. 2 And many were gathered together, so that there was no more room, not even at the door. And he was preaching the word to them. 3 And they came, bringing to him a paralytic carried by four men. 4 And when they could not get near him because of the crowd, they removed the roof above him, and when they had made an opening, they let down the bed on which the paralytic lay. 5 And when Jesus saw their faith, he said to the paralytic, “Son, your sins are forgiven.” 6 Now some of the scribes were sitting there, questioning in their hearts, 7 “Why does this man speak like that? He is blaspheming! Who can forgive sins but God alone?” 8 And immediately Jesus, perceiving in his spirit that they thus questioned within themselves, said to them, “Why do you question these things in your hearts? 9 Which is easier, to say to the paralytic, ‘Your sins are forgiven,’ or to say, ‘Rise, take up your bed and walk’? 10 But that you may know that the Son of Man has authority on earth to forgive sins”—he said to the paralytic— 11 “I say to you, rise, pick up your bed, and go home.” 12 And he rose and immediately picked up his bed and went out before them all, so that they were all amazed and glorified God, saying, “We never saw anything like this!”

He had the right friends! And the right friends got Him to the right place..to the see the right person!

Connect to Jesus! Connect to a church!

Living out the good works that God has for you is not something you can do alone..it is something you need others for. And it is something you need to be connected to the right people to do!

Run After God

Find friends…your husband, your wife..who can run after God with you!