Sermon Tone Analysis
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Good Fences Keep Good Neighbors
When our relationships are out of balance, it’s often because someone expects you to be God.
They expect you to take responsibility for some area in their life that they should be taking responsibility for.
Be God in my money.
I’ve got financial problems.
You solve them.
Be God in my personality.
I’ve got a strange personality.
You fix it.
Be God in my failures.
I have lots of problems and you solve all my problems.
Be God in the fact that I can’t get a job because I have a low work ethic.
Be God in my emotional issues.
The problem is it makes you crazy when you’re around those kind of people, because it should make you crazy.
God never intended for you to be God for anybody and to take responsibility for their life.
So here’s a question for you.
Right now, as we speak, who’s asking you to be God?
Who’s asking you to take care of their money, their financial problems, their emotional problems, their unhappiness, their “I’m miserable.”
Who’s demanding that you take care of them and take too much responsibility?
The Bible discusses this matter, and lets us know that this never works and there’s a better way.
In other words, it’s important to guard yourself.
If you see the words above all in the Bible take a highlighter and highlight it.
Because the whole Bible is above all.
So the above all of the above all is above all squared.
When the Bible says above all, it’s a big deal.
Guard your heart.
What is your heart?
In the Hebrew, your heart is the inner person, the inner man, the inner woman.
In your inner person it’s everything that’s important.
Your core values are in your heart.
Your feelings, your emotions are in your heart.
Your thoughts, your decisions – they’re all in your heart.
Your life is in your heart.
“Guard your heart, for from it flow the wellsprings of life.”
If somebody is telling you to take care of their life and it’s making you crazy, it’s probably because you’re not guarding your heart the right way.
We’re going to help you do that.
I think the way to start this off is to give you a vision for the way God did design relationships.
I’ll give you the good news first.
Because God designed two elements in every healthy relationship so they wouldn’t go crazy.
And if you have these two elements thing’s go a lot better.
Requirements for balance relationships...
So let’s start with the two elements that God designed for a relationship.
It’s a balance.
1. Grace
For me that’s my favorite word in the Bible.
I need a lot of it and we need a lot of it.
Grace.
What is grace?
Grace is basically the reality that God is for you.
He’s for you.
He’s on your side.
He’s on your team no matter what you do.
Grace means that there is nothing I can do to make God happy so he’ll love me more.
He won’t love me any more if I perform well.
On the other hand, grace means there’s no way I can screw up and he’ll love me less.
And I need to know that.
And you need to know that.
No way I can perform at top levels and he’ll love me more.
No way I can screw up royally and he’ll love me less.
That’s the nature of grace.
Grace comes in two forms.
First it comes in the vertical.
The vertical is when it comes straight from God.
It comes from his Word, the Bible.
It comes from his Holy Spirit, the indwelling presence of himself.
That’s the vertical part of grace.
But there’s another part of grace.
The horizontal part.
The horizontal… where we take grace in from each other and give grace to each other.
That’s what this passage in 1 Peter is talking about.
That we’re supposed to be stewards, actually the delivery system, of the very grace of God.
When you let somebody listen to you and you tell them your story and they’re for you and they don’t condemn you and they don’t judge you, you’re experiencing grace.
It’s the fuel of life.
Relationships that have great grace have great relationships.
You know why? It’s because you’re safe.
Think about that.
You’re in a safe relationship.
There’s no condemnation.
There’s no judgment.
You’ll never be condemned or judged in a safe relationship.
When we’re in judgment we shut down, we pull away, we play the game.
But when you’re safe you open up.
That’s what grace is about.
You can open up because no one will ever condemn you.
2. Truth
Truth.
The truth.
Ephesians 4:15 tells us this:
What’s truth?
Truth is what is.
Truth is what’s real.
There’s the truth of physics and the truth of gravity.
There’s the truth you find in the Bible.
There’s the truth that a wise person tells us something we don’t know.
There’s the feedback we give each other as friends and people in business and people we’re in love with and people we’re married to.
Grace provides the safety we need.
You’ve got to have safety.
Truth provides the structure that we need.
So you don’t screw your life up and run off in a ditch.
It provides the structure; grace provides the safety.
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