Sermon Tone Analysis
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\\ * How you can build a healthy home life.*
*(Home improvements 6)*
(Philippians 4:11 NIV) I am not saying this because I am in need, for */I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances./*
*Contentment, merriment, and service*—these three “little secrets” can make your family life a wellspring of happiness.
I’ve been married to the same patient woman for 20 years.
As we’ve navigated the waters of marriage and parenthood, I’ve discovered some Scripture passages that have opened my eyes to “little” things that make a positive difference in family relationships.
Whether you’re married, single, or single-again, the following biblical “secrets” can help keep your family a great place to be.
*1) **The Secret of Contentment*
I have no real wants; if anything, my life is too full.
"That's precisely the problem," author Gregg Easterbrook says in his new book, The Progress Paradox.
Most Americans enjoy a higher standard of living than 99.4 percent of the 80 billion human beings who've ever lived.
Yet we're not content.
"Our lives are characterized by too much of a good thing."
Easterbrook says, "excess at every turn."
We're surrounded by so much food that obesity has become a national crisis, are tempted by so much entertainment and information and stuff to buy that we sleep three hours a day less than our grandparents.
At times, it leaves you staring at a four-mile-long island on the horizon, wondering what it would be like to chuck it all.
“Better is a dry morsel and quietness with it than a house full of feasting with strife” (Prov.
17:1, /NASB/).
(Philippians 4:11 NIV) I am not saying this because I am in need, for I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances.
*Look for a meal not a morsel:*
*a) The dry morsels*- I think of leftover crusts of bread lying on a child’s highchair tray.
Crusty.
Brittle.
Dry.
They wouldn’t make much of a meal.
In contrast I think of Thanksgiving morning.
Steam rising off turkey gravy bubbling on the stove.
Butter melting on fluffy mashed potatoes.
A gaggle of cousins debating whether the turkey is overdone, pounds of fudge, yams with melted marshmallows, pies…the feast.
*b) Feasting versus dry morsels*.
On the surface, I prefer hot roast turkey to breadcrumbs—but not at the price of strife.
· *Stay out of the “If Only” trap -*Many of us think that “feasting” will bring us happiness.
We fall into the *“if only*” trap.--If
only we had a bigger house, a nice vacation, a large-screen TV, a new car, we’d be happy.
Money—
It can buy you a house, but not a home.
It can buy you a bed, but not sleep.
It can buy you a clock, but not time.
It can buy you a book, but not knowledge.
It can buy you a position, but not respect.
It can buy you sex, but not love.
It can buy you medicine, but not health.
It can buy you blood, but not life.
/A friend of mine told me his wife wanted to buy a second boat for the family.
“She wants a bigger and better boat so that our family can be happier, since our happiest times as a family have been at the lake.”/
/“Is your family unhappy?”
I asked./
/“Well, I don’t get along very well with my teenaged son.
I’ve sort of tuned him out.
Every time we talk we get into an argument.
I’m ignoring him now.
That way we don’t fight.”/
/My friend and his wife assumed “feasting” (money and boats) would produce a happy, quiet home.
Yet I’ve been in homes where there’s plenty of money, plenty of material possessions, and plenty of feasting.
And plenty of strife./
/At times, I’ve tried to buy my wife’s affection with gifts, particularly if I knew I had strained our relationship.
Similarly, some parents try to make up for not spending time with their children by giving them huge allowances or toys they don’t need./
/ /
* It is better to eat a dry morsel than to have strife.
*c) Learn the secret of contentment.
*Time, our most valuable possession, can make even the driest morsel taste like a banquet.
· *money can't buy happiness-*In August, 2003, a study was released revealing that *money can't buy happiness.
*Beginning in 1975, University of Southern California researcher Richard Easterlin surveyed 1500 persons annually and found:
Many people are under the illusion that the more money we make, the happier we'll be.
We put all of our resources into making money at the expense of our family and our health…The problem is we don't realize that our material wants increase with the amount of money we make.
· *The study discovered happiness was related to: quality time *with loved ones, good health, being friendly, having an optimistic outlook, exercising self-control, and possessing a deep sense of ethics.
*In Gary Chapman’s “The Five Love Languages” he says this about *
* *
*/Look for Quality time: /*
· *Maintain eye contact*
· *Don’t listen and multi task*
· *Listen for feelings*
· *Observe body language*
· *Refuse to interrupt*
· *Babbling Brook (whatever they see or hear goes out the mouth) vs. Dead Sea (good listeners)*
* *
*/Bottom line/**: Learn to be content and use your time wisely.*
* *
*2) The Secret of Merriment*
*“A joyful heart is good medicine, but a broken spirit dries up the bones” (Prov.
17:22, /NASB/).*
(http:~/~/www.thecaliforniachannel.com~/2004nsssa~/nssaveth.mov) (http:~/~/www.honewatson.com~/01~/25~/bethany-hamilton~/)
Bethany Hamilton, once ranked as the best amateur teen surfer in Hawaii, lost an arm to a tiger shark in October 2003.
Both her compassion and competitiveness, however, have reached a new level.
Soon after the attack she began to raise money to restore a man's eyesight.
While visiting New York City, she gave her ski coat to homeless girl.
When asked about the gift, she said she had more than she needed in life.
Referring to her competitiveness, the story in USA Today states: "As always, Hamilton remains undaunted.
She has told her father that if having only one arm proved detrimental to reaching the top in competitive surfing, then she'd see about playing soccer."
Her pastor, Steve Thompson, said, "She's looking forward to the future.
She's asking herself, 'How can I show the world I still have a life, that I enjoy my life, and that my life is filled with joy?'
She has an underlying trust that God is taking care of her."
/Citation:/ Jill Lieber, "Teen Surfer Riding Wave of Amazing Grace" USA Today
· *Kids* - Don’t meditate on the negative: Write down three things their mother and I had done right as parents.
*a) Parental Grump Cycle.*
Every now and then parents feel overworked and underappreciated.
We have thoughts like, /He didn’t even notice the new kitchen curtains/ or /after all the hard knocks I take on the job every day, it sure would be nice to get a little respect at home./
So we get grumpy.
We throw our weight around by being moody or sullen.
We even enjoy it!
The trouble is, this kind of mood won’t go unnoticed.
In fact, it will cast a pall over the entire household.
After a dinner hour spent in courteous but strained conversation, my daughter whispered to my wife as I was leaving the table, “What’s wrong with Dad?”
*b) How do I break the Grump Cycle?*
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